Chapter 25.
Sandor had been in Bronn's solar for ten days. He allowed no one in except the maids who cleaned the room, brought him bath water, food and copious amounts of wine. If Shalene knew why he was acting like this, she didn't say. If fact, she gave no indication anything was wrong. Prince Oberyn finally came after Bronn had practically begged Tyrion to find out what was going on. Bronn felt a brotherly love towards Sandor and he hated that he couldn't help him.
When Sandor opened the door for the maid, Prince Oberyn casually strode in and made himself at home as if he had received and invitation to do so. Sandor was sitting on the floor beneath the window, his back to the wall. He only wore his breeches. For all his massive size, The Prince could tell he hadn't been eating and the days of drunkenness had taken their toll. His hair was clean but lank, he had dark circles under his eyes, probably a combination of wine and lack of sleep. He had lost weight. The Prince noted the haunted, broken way Sandor's eyes gazed at him. He poured himself his own glass of wine and watched Sandor for so long, Sandor looked away and to his humiliation, felt tears roll down his face. Prince Oberyn nodded and said," Are you not worried about your son? Your women? Your holdings? Your friends? You sit here and drink, weep, and feel sorry for
yourself." Sandor turned back to him and glared saying," Lucian is fine, he's not a weak girl. And you fucking don't know anything about what is going on with me!" The Prince sipped his wine, watched Sandor and asked," Do you want to know who he is? Why is it alright for you to have a woman and lovers but your woman cannot? Are you so insecure with the love that you share with my daughter that you can't allow her to chose her own lover? Has she not proven to you over and over that you are her love, the man she wants for life? You are behaving as Ellaria did before she finally understood that I may take a lover, be it male or female, but she will forever be the one I love and no one will take her place. I have children with other lovers I've had, Shalene is one of them, but she and Ellaria love each other as mother and daughter. His name is Tomaerys. If you use your drunken mind, you can fit the pieces together. The name, eyes, the hair. There is a reason you haven't seen him before and you wouldn't have that night if you had not tried to tighten a grip on Shalene. Sandor, she has known him her whole life. They have been lovers for a few years. He is the gentleness to her harshness. You are acting as if she doesn't love you. You're wrong. Tomaerys will be part of her life just as you will be, if you chose to. You cannot hold something so closely to yourself or you will kill it. you will break it's spirit and it's will to live. You are so powerful and selfish in your needs that you fail to see what those around you desire. Did you know that Jaxell and OnIeese wish to marry, even though he cannot father any children for her. He wants to talk to you about this, and they also want ask you to father a child for them, as he obviously cannot. They are afraid to come to you especially now. They fear you will be angry because she is your concubine and he still sees himself as a slave that is to be punished and sold. Your Kolenee wants to have a baby but Shalene
forbade it because you never gave any indication that you wanted children. Can you not stop this behavior and open your eyes? The Westerosi have really done a job on you, haven't they. Good for you that I see the same in you that Shalene does. I'll expect you on the Emerald Flower tomorrow we need to talk and here is not the place." With that, he finished his wine, walked to Sandor and held out his hand, Sandor accepted it allowing Prince Oberyn to help him up and they walked out of the room together, to his and Shalene's room.
Shalene was sitting on her balcony with Lucian teaching him High Valaryian when Sandor walked in. Lucian jumped up and ran to him," Father! I'm glad you're feeling better! I missed you! I've been taking care of our horses and doing everything you have always told me to do. Shalene is teaching me High Valayian!" He threw his arms around Sandor's waist, holding him as tightly as he could and added," I'm sorry if I've done anything to disappoint you. Please don't give me away. I love you so much! I'll do better, I promise. Just tell me how. I need you to be proud of me, Father!" Sandor was hit with the shock of how his self absorbed weaknesses had affected this little boy who was now his son. He knelt down in front of him and said," Look at me, boy. My Son. You did nothing wrong. You are not a disappointment. If you hear nothing else hear this, You are my son. I
love you. I am so happy with you and proud of you. You are more than I deserve for a son. I never doubted for a minute that you would do the right thing and know what was expected of you. You are almost a man grown and I'm the luckiest man alive because I have you." He held the boy in a crushing embrace but Lucian never complained, just tried to hold Sandor as tightly. After a bit, Sandor loosened his grip and said," Alright, then, Son, go fetch the old man some bath water and he sent his son off with a pat on the back.
Once Lucian was gone, Sandor stood to his full height and looked at Shalene. She looked at him with the same love and merriment in her eyes as she always had. She said," Some things are best left unsaid. When you are ready, we will talk and I will answer any questions you have, but not this day. There are other matters we should attend to, you and I have a lifetime together, unless you chose differently. I know my heart Sandor, I know yours. Can you say the same?" He had to admit to her that he loved her but he was having great difficulty grasping this. Even though he knew he shouldn't he still felt unsure. Shalene looked at him, just as he had dreamed about all these days away from her and said," Well, My Lord. It seems I have to start over with you again. I'm ready if you are." In two long steps he had his woman in his arms, holding her to him,
drowning in her scent and her hair as well as the glorious feeling of her arms around him.
It felt as if there had never been a minute away between them. When the bath arrived, they bathed each other, laughing and teasing. Shalene washed Sandor's hair and as he sat on the balcony, wrapped in a towel, Shalene saved him and trimmed and shaped his beard. He touched her continually. His hair had grown much in the past months, reaching below his shoulders and had it been just him, he would have cut it to above his shoulders but his woman loved it, combing it and running her fingers through it, so he let her do as she pleased and she just trimmed it, combing it how he liked it. when she was done, she straddled his thigh, taking his face in her small hands and gazed into his eyes, he still felt ashamed, afraid and unsure and tried to look away but she wouldn't allow it. He looked at her as intensely as she did him. This is his woman. Prince Oberyn's words ran though his mind about holding something so close that you killed it, broke it's spirit, and he knew how
terribly wrong he had been. Shalene had given him everything. She allowed him the freedom to do any and everything he wanted to do. She put no rules or limitations on him. He lived his life as he wanted, loved his women and still had her by his side every night. She loved him, trusted him, believed in him. She pulled his miserable, black world together and pushed him into the sunshine and gave him laughter, friendship and acceptance. She never complained or denied him even when he knew he was hurting her. How could he be so selfish as to want to deny her the one thing she didn't share with him. He couldn't and wouldn't. He would ask about Tomaerys but not today. He kissed her, with as much love and passion as he had in his soul for
her and she returned his feelings. She pulled away from him and said, "I love you, Sandor. You are my world. Is that not enough for you?" He ran his thumb over her sweet, red lips and said," Aye, woman. It is enough. I've been a selfish fool. I love you, Shalene."