Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked under it.
Thoughts: I'm worrying a little about my DeviantArt and about my summer reading for my AP class…other than that I'm just thinking about pandas.
Requests: Ok, so I'm going to stop the creepy way I've been asking for reviews, because quite honestly it even skeeves me out. Anyway, just read it, enjoy it, and review if you'd like! I sure do appreciate 'em. :)
Part III: Déjà Vu Sucks
{Déjà vu is the mind's way of telling you that you are in the right place at the right time.}
My workplace was a sight for sore eyes. As I'd been walking, I'd somehow managed to develop a blister on my left foot, so I was now limping, bleeding, purse-less, and late for work. Sigh. It was pretty pathetic, actually. Not to mention I still had that dog following me around. The worst part, though, was that somewhere in the dark depths of my mind, I was still thinking about Undercover Cop. I mean…pink hair?
Anyway, I practically dragged my almost-dead body up the steps, (sort of like a zombie with its lower half cut off), and yanked the door open. The little bell that was attached to the door—which occasionally annoyed me, but was still helpful—jingled as I limped inside.
Almost immediately, just as I had expected, Mira caught sight of me. "Lucy!" she whimpered. She vaulted over the counter and barreled into me. I almost lost my balance, but managed to stay upright…somehow. She squeezed the air out of my lungs.
"Mi….ra…" As always, her love was suffocating. I was glad I had the chance to work there, but asphyxiating was pretty much a daily occurrence. It was love-asphyxiation, though…so it was ok.
She let me go and I gasped for air. She looked me up and down and frowned, "You look horrible!"
"Gee, thanks. Tell me what you really think," I said sarcastically. I limped over to one of the waiting chairs and collapsed. A guy with a tiny Pomeranian stared at me. He stroked his dog's tiny head and continued to stare.
"Whatchu lookin' at, Mr…" Crap, I couldn't come up with something to call him, "…Mr. Tiny Dog!" Man…I was tired. That was the best I could come up with? I facepalmed.
"Lucy, let's get you…cleaned up," Mira said. She hauled me to my feet and practically carried me to the back. She immediately started tending to my wounds.
"Miiraaaa," I whined, "Some jerk-off stole my purse!"
Her head snapped up, "What?"
"He stole my dinner!" I repeated, "…and my other stuff."
"Let's focus on getting you patched up and then we'll talk about what happened to you," she said softly. I nodded, glad that Mira was my boss. She was a seriously awesome person. Actually, she was probably the nicest person I'd ever met. Well…most of the time she was. The other times she was straight up crazy.
Once she'd put bandages on my hands and knees, she sat down beside me. "So, tell me," Mira said, staring at me.
I blinked, "Tell you what?"
"What do you think!? Tell me what happened to you!" she exclaimed.
"There was a knot…and a dog, and I tripped and I got robbed, and the sun, and that guy, drugs, and freaking physics! You know how much I hate physics!"
Mira nodded in agreement and then her eyes went wide. She grabbed my arm and squeezed, "A guy?"
"Huh?" I silently wondered how that was the only thing that she chose to mention after everything I'd just said.
"You said 'that guy.' Did you meet someone?" she asked. A creepy smile was spreading across her face. Bad memories were rising to the surface. Ugh…that one guy that she tried setting me up with. A wart on your nose? I thought only Halloween witches had those! Well, at least he hadn't been green. I like to look on the bright side of things.
Anyway, back to the problem at hand: Mira is an over-the-top, crazy, enthusiastic matchmaker. I've always thought that she would fit it perfectly on one of those weird TV shows where cameras stalk potential couples. "What happened!? Tell me!" ...Or she could be a professional police interrogator...
"I don't want to," I said quietly.
"Don't want to?" she asked, giving me puppy dog eyes. Damnit. Mira was good at the puppy dog eyes. I looked away and turned up my nose. I crossed my arms and winced when I accidentally hit my palm-wounds. I feel like Mira could play the good cop and the bad cop.
"By 'don't' you meant 'do,' right?" she asked.
"By 'don't' I meant 'don't,'" I stated. When I looked back at her, her eyes were serious. Her face had darkened. Oh no. I'd done it now. It was Mira's way of interrogating me.
"Mira, my hands are wounded!" I cried out. I leapt from my seat and ran around the other side of the counter.
"Don't even try to fight it, Lucy. It's time," Mira said seriously, her eyes burning mine. The fiery passion that's so terrifying had ignited in her pupils.
"Mira, I can't-"
"Arm wrestling is an art, Lucy. It's high time you learnt it!" Ok, I love Mira and all...she's one of my best friends, I swear...but...I hate her dark side. The Pro Wrestling. The demon inside her.
Ever since she was small, as she's so proudly told me many a time, she's loved Pro Wrestling. Pro Wrestling honestly scares me, so whenever she starts going on about arm wrestling—and really any form of wrestling at all—I tend to run away at high speeds. There's only one person in this world that can snap her out of her Pro Wrestling craze, and it's only temporary. Unfortunately for me, Laxus wasn't here to take her on at arm wrestling, so I was left out in the cold to resort to desperate measures.
I raised my injured hands, "Wait, Mira. If I tell you, will you not break my arm off?"
She stared at me for a moment as if she were contemplating which option was more important to her. After a few moments of Mira's mental war, she nodded and straightened, "If you really want to tell me that much, I'll listen." She smiled and giggled. I groaned.
I dragged my feet back around the counter and sat down again. Mira sat down, as energetic as ever, and smiled sweetly. "So, who is this guy?"
"I don't know," I said, looking her straight in the eyes.
Mira extended her arm into her trademarked arm wrestling pose and her eyes narrowed to slits, "Then let's do this."
I raised my arms in surrender immediately, "Wait, I really don't know. I never found out his name!"
Mira relaxed, "Oh."
"I met him on the subway after I rescued that dog," I said. I sat up straight, a thought dawning on me.
"Oh yeah, you did mention a dog," Mira said, tapping her chin.
I stood up and bolted across the room. I yanked the door that led outside open and my dog friend rocketed into our presence. He barked and ran around my legs. "It's good that you didn't disappear," I said, reached down and picking him up. I felt sort of bad for leaving him outside this whole time.
I returned to the room where Mira was waiting and she blinked, "Is that your dog?"
"No, he just followed me," I replied. I sat down and he curled up on my lap.
"You stole someone's dog?" Mira asked. She didn't sound accusatory, just interested.
"I didn't steal him!" I insisted, "I just…rode on the subway with him."
"The subway…"
"Yup."
"The subway!" Mira shouted.
I jumped, "The subway!"
Mira pointed at me, "Don't try to change the subject! What about the guy on the subway!?"
"I wasn't! I promise," I said. Crap. I shouldn't have mentioned the subway.
"So, you met this guy on the subway. That's really cute. It's just like a romance story!"
"Yeah…except for not," I said, a vivid flashback of me landing on the guy's lap replayed behind my eyes, "Unless it's a really weird romance story."
"Huh?"
"Um…I sort of…kissed him?"
"You…kissed him. But…you don't know his name?"
"I kissed him, but I don't know his name."
"You kissed him!?" Mira shouted. She was really excited.
"He had pink hair," I pointed out.
"Pink?" Mira started, but then caught herself before she allowed a partial change of subjects again, "You kissed him!?"
"I didn't mean to!"
"What, did he force you or something? Oh my god, Lucy are you ok? You really did have a tough morning!"
"Force me!? What? No!"
"Oh honey," she said, putting her hand on mine, "You don't need to keep it inside."
I grabbed Mira's face and forced her to look at me, "Calm down, Mira. He didn't…force me. I fell onto his lap because I wasn't holding onto anything when the subway stopped. I accidentally kissed him."
"Accidentally?"
"Accidentally."
"Oh. Ok."
"That's all you're going to say."
"No! So did you like it? Was he hot? What color are his eyes? Is his hair really pink? What was he doing on the subway? Did you talk? Did you flirt? Did you get his number? Did he get yours? Did he ask what your name was? Do you like him!?"
I think she was pretty close to hyperventilating. "Easy, Mira. Calm down now," I said.
She took a deep breath, "I can't. It's just, after all the guys you've met, you've never once fallen in love." She put a hand on my shoulder, "You deserve love, Luce. It's amazing. I want you to feel the way I do with Laxus..."
I smiled. She'd broken through my protective barrier, "I guess I liked it. From what I could see he was hot. I don't know what color his eyes are because he was wearing shades. His hair is really pink…his whole head. I don't know what he was doing…I mean, other than stopping supposed drug deals in my imagination. We sort of talked. I'm not really sure if you could call that flirting. He called me 'a weird one.' We didn't exchange number. He asked my name, but I didn't tell him. I don't like him. I just met him! How would I immediately like him like that?"
Mira took in all the new information. When she was finished, she just smiled, "I believe in fate, Lucy. Maybe it was meant to be…you landing on him, and the accidental kiss. It doesn't happen immediately, you know. People don't just fall in love at the snap of their fingers. It takes time and effort. Anyone who says otherwise is dumb."
I laughed, "That's harsh."
She stood up and pointed at me, "But it's true!"
"I guess," I said.
"And, Lucy…remember that you deserve it. If you put in a little effort, you might find it."
"Find what?" I asked.
"Your love, Luce. Come on. Put yourself out there. You're not living!" she said. I stood up and sighed.
I walked out of the room and sat down in the rolling chair behind the counter, the place where I took appointments and payments and the like. I was like the file lady and occasionally I helped with check-ups and operations. I spun around to look at Mira, "Yeah, well I don't think I'll be finding that love again. We just met on the subway. I'll never see him again."
Mira's eyes flicked away and then returned to me, "Was he wearing black shades, a black hoodie, tight, yet sexy jeans, and a gold chain around his neck?"
I blinked, "How did you…" The blood drained from my face. I rocked from my chair and hid myself away behind the counter. I was definitely not being seen by him. I acted so weird on the subway. There was no way I was returning to the sunlight with him still within 800 yards of me.
"Yeah, he just walked in," Mira hissed, looking down at me awkwardly.
"Play it cool!" I ordered.
"Play what cool!? I don't know what you're talki-" She looked up, "Heelllllloooo there…Sir.. Mister…Guy." She saluted him. I slapped my palm to my forehead. Real cool, Mira. Reaaaal cool.
"Um," said Undercover Cop awkwardly. Goddamit, it was him. His voice was just as sexy as I remembered…and he'd just said one thing. One thing! I was going crazy.
Mira cleared her throat awkwardly, "So…can I help you?" God, she didn't know how to do the desk job at all. This wasn't going to end well.
"Who's the attending veterinarian here?" he asked. Huh? Why is he asking about that? Wait, why is he even here!? What in the h?
Mira raised her hand happily, "That'd be me!"
He sounded disappointed when he next spoke, "Oh, alright, then."
"I'm sorry?" Mira asked. I wanted to jump up and punch the dude. Was Mira not good enough for him? Psh. Psssshhhhh.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just…I'm looking for someone," he said, "She's a vet. She got off the subway, and the only place she could possibly work, one that was close enough, was here."
"Oh," Mira said. She kicked me several times and I whapped her leg. Subtle, Mira. Real subtle.
My heart was doing a little dance and my brain was suffering through the pain of trying to figure out why Undercover Cop had come here. It was a stark contrast.
"Who're you looking for? I might…be able to tell you where she works. I mean, we veterinarians are a very close-knit circle. We're tight," Mira said, nodding her head. What? Tight?
"I…don't know her name," he replied.
Mira blinked, a smile spreading. No, Mira! Don't let him know! I don't need love if it comes with embarrassment and humiliation! Don't reveal my location!
"What…does she look like?" Mira asked. No, Mira! I grabbed her leg and pinched her hard. She made a squeaking sound and jumped.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
"I'm fine. It's just…" Mira paused for a long time, "A cat. A scaredy cat." Mira glanced down at me and I glared up at her. A scaredy cat!? What the—
"A cat?" the guy asked curiously and skeptically.
"Oh! She ran away. You really don't have to look," Mira said. He must have tried to look over the counter. Whew. That was close. Nice, Mira. I still don't forgive you, though.
"Um, ok."
"So, what does she look like?" Mira asked. I gave up on trying to get her to shut up with pinches alone. "This...vet, you say..." She looked down at me and I flushed. Crap. I had told that guy I was a vet. I thought I'd never seen him again! Screw it. I lied. I felt bad.
"She has blond hair," he said. Mira waited for a moment and then realized that he wasn't going to say anything more.
"And? There are quite a few vets with blond hair," she pried.
He sighed, "Really beautiful blond hair. It's even more beautiful when the light hits it. She's got a great smile and beautiful brown eyes. They reminded me of chocolate. She's funny, but a little weird. She's the kind of person that is different from the rest. Special." I clenched my hands into fists. That was embarrassing, and yet he didn't seem embarrassed at all saying it. Still, it felt good getting a compliment. I couldn't help but notice the light feeling in my chest.
"Wow," Mira sighed. She was staring forward dreamily.
"Oh, and she saved a dog," he said.
"A dog?" Mira asked. I sighed. This wasn't going anywhere. It was about time to get out of here. I stealthy crawled to the edge of the counter.
"Yeah. He was white, and he had a little orange spot." Just as I reached the end of the counter, my rescue dog bolted past my face. I reached for him, but he dodged me.
"Wait!" I hissed. He ran around the edge of the counter and I punched the ground in frustration.
"It was right on his left eye, just like that…dog. Hey, wait…" he said.
"Uh oh," Mira said.
Alright, Lucy. Just grab the dog before he realizes it's the same one from earlier. He doesn't even have to see your face. Just in and out. Just get the dog, and get out. Just like that. It's easy. Of course, if he sees your face it's shanking all over again. Wait! No! Stop! No shanking for me today! Alright, just one. Two. Three!
I leapt out from behind the counter and grabbed the dog. I stared at the ground and covered my face with my hair so that he wouldn't recognize me. I thought that it was clever. I didn't anticipate that, in my haste, I would twist my ankle and lurch forward. Holding a dog isn't good for balance. I'm just saying, if you ever have to cross a tight rope at a traveling circus, don't do it while holding a squirming dog. I mean, unless it's part of your act. That could be an awesome; especially if the dog was wearing a matching sparkly outfit. Write it down. It has potential.
Oh, right! I shouldn't be talking about circuses right now. I need to tell you what happened next. So, I'm falling through mid air. My ankle is already throbbing. My dog buddy is freaking out because he thinks I'm about to drop him. Mira is squealing. Undercover Cop is reaching for me, ready to catch me yet again. As I fell, I was struck by an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. I was falling towards this guy yet again, while clinging to this same dog. Both in one day. There was nothing I could do to stop it, though. It's that stupid law again. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. You can't beat physics, no matter how hard you try. Freaking inertia, man.
I slammed into him, knocking him off balance. We tumbled to the ground and I landed directly on top of him. He managed to avoid slamming his head against the ground, but the sudden movement had knocked his glasses off of his face. His hood fell away too.
Let me tell you, my friend…he was an Adonis. I don't mean that he was good looking. I don't mean that he was hot. I mean he was an Adonis; like, supernova sort of attractive. His gorgeousness was enough to make you want to avert your eyes while simultaneously forcing you to stare at him. And that's just what I did. I stared at him. At his styled pink hair. At his sculpted nose. At his defined jaw and cheek bones. At his smoky, fiery eyes that seemed to pin me in place. At his slightly damp lips that were curling into a slight smirk.
I found myself gravitating towards him. I couldn't even help it. I mean, I was in a lot of pain and my mind was muddled. I was tired even thought it was only morning. I mean, it wasn't like he was a complete stranger. Well, he pretty much was. I'm just trying to find excuses. I could blame it on gravity. I could claim that I just succumbed to the universal force or something. That was stupid, though. The only thing I succumbed to was his insanely beautiful face.
I found myself kissing him. Again. My déjà vu was still going at this point. It was a little different this time, though. Familiar, but new at the same time. His lips felt the same, but this time they sent tingles through my entire body and caused my entire face to heat up. I immediately stopped myself when I realized how crazy I was acting. But I've always been crazy. I guess that hadn't changed.
"So I didn't mean to kiss you that time either," I said outright. I felt the same, tingly feeling on my lips that I had last time.
"You fall a lot, don't you?" he asked with a smile. I shielded my eyes from his shining gorgeousness.
"Now that I think about it, I guess I do," I said, coming to that realization.
"So, any luck finding another victim?" he asked.
I sighed, "No luck. It's surprising, too. I normally snag at least four on my way to work alone."
He laughed and his rock hard stomach muscles tensed beneath me. That's when I realized that I was still on top of him. I nodded, "I'll be seeing you, then."
I sat up and attempted to get away, but he grabbed me and pulled me back. "Hey!" I protested.
"I was looking for you," he said.
"Right…because my eyes remind you of chocolate," I said. I couldn't hide my amused smile. I gasped when he blushed. It was adorable and attractive at the same time.
"You don't recognize me?" he asked.
"The guy from the subway," I said, pointing at him, "Yeah, I remember you."
"That's not what I meant. I mean…you don't recognize my face?" he asked, confused. He was nowhere near as confused as I was.
"Why would I recognize you?" I asked.
I looked up at Mira and so did Undercover Cop. Mira's eyes went wide and she pointed at us. Well, she actually pointed at him, but I didn't know that at the time. "Na…Na…" she stuttered.
"Mira, are you ok?" I asked.
"Dragn-" she began, "Fai…T-T-Ta…" With that, her eyes rolled back in her head and she disappeared behind the counter. I'd never seen Mira faint before. It was a sight to behold, but I was too busy freaking out.
"Mira!" I shouted, alarmed, "Wait, Mira! I'm coming for you! CPR! Do you need a brown paper bag! People do that right!? Is that a thing!?" I looked around frantically and saw the guy who I'd un-creatively called Mr. Tiny Dog earlier, "Call an ambulance!"
The dude whipped out his cell phone and tapped the screen vigorously. His dog yapped and bit his pants, hanging there like a cell phone charm…except…for pants.
Before I knew it, he pointed his phone and me, at us, and snapped a picture. The flash nearly blinded me, and I raised my hand to defend my delicate retinas from it. With that he ran out the door, his dog still dangling from his pant leg and growling in a less than threatening manner.
"Hey, Mr. Tiny Dog! Come back here!" I shouted.
"Oh, crap," Undercover Cop said.
I turned to him, "Huh?"
"He took a picture of us," the guy said.
"So?" I asked.
"My name is Natsu Dragneel," he said, looking at me as if he were about to tell me he had cancer or something morbid like that, "I'm…a rock star."
"WHAT!?"
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Next chapter preview:
So I've had a stalker before. One. It wasn't pretty, but I lived. The last thing I expected was to wake up one morning and realize that…surprise, surprise…I had billions of stalkers!
The media scares me almost as much as the idea of being shanked in a prison. Merry Christmas, Lucy, (even though...it wasn't Christmas), the whole world is stalking you! Hoorah!