By the time I made it to Teddy's, Chris and Vern were already there. All of us dressed nicer than before, sucking on breath mints. Vern still had an uneasy look on his face. I had a hunch he was thinking about the last party he was at, with the whole Dan thing. I wanted to tell him not to worry but Teddy got really pissed every time someone even said Dan's name.

So I just clapped him on the back, "You only have to make an appearance, man." I said low enough that Chris and Teddy couldn't hear. He looked at me and attempted to smile. We set off on foot to Paul Kider's house, which was across town close to the highway. As we walked Teddy jabbered on about how great it was going to be.

I didn't personally know Paul; he was a woodshop kid that had boasted about how cool this party was going to be for weeks. The whole senior class was invited along with half of the school's female population, which wasn't surprising he had quite the reputation. "The amount of skirts there is going to be crazy." Teddy grinned as we crossed through the center of town.

The rest of us let him do the talking and by the time we reached the block before Paul's house you could already hear the dull whine of rock music. There were girls and beer everywhere and a lot of kids were buzzed and had that far off gaze set in their eyes. Teddy disappeared after we got in the door. Vern, Chris, and I stuck close to each other. We navigated through the bodies and managed to get something from the keg in the kitchen. It smelled like sweat and too much perfume mixed together, I almost gagged on my beer.

Girls dressed skimpy paraded through the house in little clusters, batting eyelashes and slopping liquid out of their cups. It was still cold at night but that didn't stop them from running in and out the back door in their shorts and t-shirts, giggling the whole time. "Vern!" Paul appeared out of nowhere, tall with blonde hair and two girls clinging to his shirt like baby squirrels.

"Hey man." He said looking up from his beer.

"Awesome that we don't have to deal with Harness anymore." He beamed; Mr. Harness was the shop teacher who was missing at least three fingers. Vern nodded and took a long drink. "Anyway, Vern I got some girls I want you to meet." He steered Vern away from us. He gave us a worried look as Paul took him away.

Every so often people would stop next to us and talk about college and how excited they were. I'd nodded and drain my cup a little more. After an hour or so and more than a couple of refills my head was starting to swim. I moved away from Chris and the people he was talking to. I wondered around for a little bit. Some mousy girl I was in English class stopped me to talk, she kept touching my arm.

My throat was getting tight and sadness was draining into my belly. I didn't want her to touch my arm, but she kept doing it anyway. She got really close and talking really low but I couldn't hear over all the other people, the music, and the fog clouding the front of my brain. Her breath was in my ear and I moved away, letting her hands drop back to her. I hugged the banister as I climbed the stairs.

I stumbled around trying to open doors that were locked, people kept shouting from behind them at me. I couldn't find the bathroom, I just wanted to put my head on something cold and level like tile. The first door I could open was a closet and as I went to step inside, "Gordie, what are you doing?" It was Chris staring at me like I was crazy. I ignored him, looking at him was going to make me feel worse. I shut the door and sat down under some coats with my ass on someone's pile of shoes.

"Gordie." He said outside the door. I told him to go away, at least I think I did, but he kept saying it over and over. I was holding on to the doorknob. He finally wriggled it enough that I let go. He looked down at me.

"Go away." I said, but he leaned over and stuck his arms under my armpits and hauled me out of the closet. "I want my face to be cold.." I said as he slung my arm over his shoulders. Chris pounded on the bathroom door, no one would open it. He steered me down the steps and outside to the concrete porch. He sat me down and I lay down. My face finally cold, we were on the front porch with no one else around. Every one of them drunk inside where the music was too loud and hot, I was relieved.

"I'm so upset." I said, I was faced away from Chris. He rubbed my shoulder.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I ruined everything." I mumbled. He went to tell me something but I interrupted. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"We're outside, go." He said, his voice sounding frustrated.

"I need a toilet." Sweat was breaking out on my forehead. He helped me get up and lead me down to the basement. Down through the laundry room we went, it was deserted. There was a door that he opened and clicked on the light revealing a toilet and a sink that reeked of bleach. My stomach churned and I burped. Chris closed the door behind us.

"Well go on." He insisted. So I whipped my pants down and sat on the toilet and peed. "You needed a toilet for this? You could've pissed outside."

"I didn't want to stand up and fall and break my dick." I said. I was to the point of drunk that my mouth was numb. I flushed and washed my hands. He laughed at me.

"Only you Gordo, only you." Chris shook his head. Only then did I realize how drunk he was as he leaned in to kiss me. Alcohol fumes entering my nose, he was so close. The sound of the door swinging open nearly made me shit right there. My heart stopped as I saw Vern standing there staring at us.