Tattooed

Summary: "I've lost everything to drugs, do you know that?" Sakura told him with tears in her eyes. "The funny thing is I've never even touched a drug in my life and yet it destroyed me. It took everything." She turned to face him then. "Please, don't let it take you away from me. I won't be able to handle it, not this time, not again." S x S.

Author's Note: Fashion Fairy 26, teru21, Randomsam123, petiteTRINH, deadflo, xXBlossomofShadowsXx: We've reached an all time high of six reviews per chapter for the previous! Thank you guys, so much! As I said, this still remains the best part of my day.

A little into the mind of Syaoran Li today. I know, but it's gotta be done. More in the next update... which will be today. :)

Disclaimer: Yue wants to be in this story, but I told him no. He pouted. I told him to give himself over to me, then we'll talk. He flew off, that ass, with the rights to him. :|

xi.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating

- Broken/Lifehouse

It was in the first year of college when he was fresh out of new ideas and creative mind that a friend of his, namely John, told him about the wonders of getting high. John had been right. The high had been unbelievable, at the time from something as simple as weed, and had given him the kick in the direction of a much needed idea to get the credits required for passing the semester.

He'd barely made it.

A few times of taking weed led him to taking coke once, which was great and tasted pretty decent. The high was much stronger this time, much... higher? That was one way of putting it. Six months into it, though, and he found it wasn't appealing. That was when he'd stumbled on crystal meth.

It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. His mind usually left and let the meth take control. The smell, the fumes, the high... it was all so captivating. Syaoran never stood a chance.

The stuff was expensive, and extremely hard to come by, but college was the place for these things so at the end, it came to him. Plus it wasn't like he was always smoking, just when he needed a little creativity. Or so he told himself.

A year of meth, on and off... led him to the day with Sakura in the rain.

Syaoran shuddered thinking about it. He'd had a bad day and he'd by chance found the drug and taken a bit, just to satisfy the gnawing need to have it in him. It was like bliss, Syaoran could remember, the first few moments with the fumes in his mouth. He could remember the taste, sickly and metallic in his mouth that led to the high. It made him yearn for it just thinking about it.

In his last semester at the GSA, Syaoran was required to complete his course in painting with Mr. Christopher Martin, a professor of art who'd begun to slowly get onto Syaoran's nerves. With painting he had to complete an elective which he chose as sketching. It wasn't too hard, pretty simple to do if it was landscapes and the like. While he didn't mind sketching and thanked God he didn't bother taking it up before as an elective, his love for painting was absolute. Nothing could change that.

So why, suddenly, did he want the meth even when he had enough to keep him painting? His hands trembled as he stroked the canvas. His eyes watered unusually as his body felt like it was burning up. Maybe he was falling sick.

"Let's take a look, shall we?" Mr. Martin told him while he stood next to his stool. Syaoran let his hands drop from the canvas and put the brush in a mug of water.

"Hmm," he speculated. "Keep it up."

In other words: mediocre.

Syaoran took a look at the painting. He knew he was drawing off of the day in the rain more than he should but he couldn't help it now. The rain, Sakura... the day they met was all he could think about nowadays. God, it was like some silly teenage crush. She didn't even think of him that way.

"I love the rain," Eriol said as he looked into the painting. "You've done an amazing job, with the reflecting colours, the building... who's the girl?" he asked, pointing at the girl who stood far, far away from any person looking into the painting. Syaoran was surprised Eriol even noticed.

"Someone I know," was all he offered.

"Sounds like you've finally found a muse."

"I don't think she's a muse." Syaoran corrected him. The things his friends had told him about muses were far more complex from what he felt about Sakura. She was just someone... someone...

"Well, this is some of your best work. You've got to put it up for the Exhibit selections."

Syaoran nodded. He hadn't even been thinking about that.

"When is it, again?"

"Selections are in two months, Exhibit's in six." Eriol told him while wrapping up his own collage. Syaoran didn't get a good enough look to comment.

"Thanks," he said instead.

Eriol and he walked out of class together, Syaoran with his bag of paints and the clutter.

"My sister was asking about you, by the way. She wanted to see you."

Syaoran spotted John and Rika ahead. "Can't, I'll see you later." He told Eriol brusquely and walked to them.

Damned Nakuru never could keep her mouth shut.

"John, we need to talk."

"What's up?" John tipped his hat.

"Tina wants a date."

"No problem,"

Syaoran went into his bag and brought out his wallet. He handed it to the guy.

"She'll be by your place tonight."

Syaoran nodded, smiled at Rika and was about to walk off.

"What's the rush? Rika and I were just going to meet up with Luke and the gang. Interested?"

For some reason, his mind immediately went to Sakura.

Luke and the gang... meant the three of them. Four, if Syaoran went along. So basically it was going to be the three of them getting high on weed. Coke, if Luke's girlfriend came along. She preferred coke.

Syaoran had a different preference now though. He didn't really feel like going along, but the urge to get any kind of high was just beneath his skin. He hadn't smoked in days now and it already felt like months. Waiting till the evening for the meth didn't make sense, especially since Mei Ling was going to be home.

Maybe he would this time. It wasn't like he liked getting high with the others. He couldn't paint with them around.

"Alright," he said anyway.

To this day Syaoran couldn't tell you why.

I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

Sometimes even love isn't enough.

Cristina, Tina, Cris... all slang for meth. It's got its own names, drugs and addiction.

Come join me at my CCS Fanpage on Facebook called 'Hiiragizawa's Archive of Bolting Cardcaptors'. Link on profile.

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No teaser today. Will be updating in a few hours anyway. Watch out for the second update!

Read and Review. Thank you!