Exhale
Chapter 1: Inner Thoughts
By: SeverelyAlone
Don't you just despise the way life takes a turn for the worst just when you are least expecting it? Life throws one bad thing after another right in your path of happiness. Never letting up to give you any time to take it all in, to accept it. You don't even realize that your world is falling apart.. until it is too late to do anything about it. No more dreams, no second chances, no nothing. You deny it is happening because you don't want to believe that it could happen to you. Well, this year was one of those times for me.. I never imagined that one year could turn my world completely upside down.
oOoOoOo
It was November. Winter was finally here, my favorite time of the year. In a way, winter was like my escape from the world. It was that one time of the year that I could lock myself up in my room and just hide away there without having to come up with any excuses on why I did so. It gave me the chance to think things through carefully. It was as if I kept my emotions bottled up all year only to save them for this moment where I could express them however I desired. I never really understood why I did so. Maybe it was because I felt motivated? Who knows. And then.. there was one more reason why I looked forward to this season so dearly. It was him. He was always hanging around more often during the holidays. I mean why wouldn't he be.. we all grew up together, his family, my family, and of course the rest of the z gang. Capsule Corp was practically the main hang out for our little get-togethers so it was no surprise to see him striding in and out all the time. Yep, Goten was quite the character.
oOoOoOo
I anxiously pulled into the driveway leading up to the headquarters of Capsule Corp just as the sun was setting. The night was young, and I definitely wasn't going to leave my best friend home on a Friday night. I only hoped I could get her to agree with my proposal.
"So, you actually think you'll be able to convince her to go with us this time," asked my girlfriend uncertainly.
"I'm not sure, Paris, but the least I can do is try," I said with not as much determination as I would have liked. No, I will, I promised myself.
"Hmm.. I still say she hates me."
"Oh, lighten up Paris. She doesn't hate you," I laughed, "She doesn't hate anyone," I assured her. Although for some reason I do get the feeling she strongly dislikes you, I thought jokingly.
"Ok, if you say so, Goten." Her voice sounded slightly annoyed, but I knew once we all finally went out together she would ease up a bit.
oOoOoOo
I sat down on my window ledge and looked out over the Capsule Corp headquarters. The sun was just making its final appearance for the night and the stars were faintly beginning to glisten. I heard a car door open as I looked down and saw Goten getting out of his car. I remember growing up and being completely fond of him. He was always there, always caring, always smiling. When I was younger, I was so envious because I wanted to be just like him. I wanted to possess his gift of making people smile. Make them want to be around me. But of course, being the spoiled little brat that I was, I was constantly bitter and self-absorbed. That all seemed to change after the whole Bebi ordeal though. Goten and I started becoming a lot closer which only made me realize how much I always wanted to be like him. For the longest time, I thought I was incapable of obtaining that oh so caring determination that he had, but without even realizing it.. the more time we spent with each other, the more I did become like him.
A smile crept upon my face as I saw Goten walk around to the other side of his car, and then, faster than that smile had appeared, it faded away for there he stood opening the door for his longtime girlfriend, Paris. I had known this scene all too well. It pained me to see him with her, but I had long since learned how to block out those negative feelings. They had been dating for three years now. I mean, don't get me wrong.. I don't hate the girl. It's just.. it's so hard to like someone.. when they're with the one person you honestly love. I know I'm only seventeen, but believe me when I say I know what love is. Because I do. And being in love definitely has its downfalls. I only wish that one day he could see more than a 'little sister'.
I watched as he wrapped his arms around Paris's waist. Why can't that be me?, I thought. As I saw him ever so sweetly give Paris a kiss on the lips, I quickly got up and turned away. I wouldn't let it get to me. Not this time. We had been best friends for years, and if I wanted our friendship to continue, letting love get in the way wasn't the best option. He was special to me. I didn't want to lose what we had worked so hard to build.
Sometimes, I felt like the only reason we were friends in the first place was because of Trunks and Pan. The year after Bebi had attacked, Pan and Trunks sort of drifted away from Goten and I. We realized that they had formed a stronger bond when they had went in search of the dragonballs, and they eventually became best friends. Two months ago, My brother and Pan had made their relationship official after beating around the bush for quite some time. It was no surprise though. They were spending so much time together, we knew it was only a matter of time before they became a couple. However, I was especially shocked. I had no idea that Pan felt that way about my brother, but then again she had no idea that I was in love with her uncle. For the longest time I had thought about whether or not I should tell her my little secret, but I realized how much that could put a damper on our friendship. And who knew how she would react to something like that, she could be quite the drama queen at times. However, ever since she began to date my brother, I feel like she has the right to know. Her secret was out now so why couldn't mine be?
I took a seat at my desk, and looked at the desktop picture on my laptop. It was a picture of Goten and I from the night of the Cherry Blossom Festival that had occurred last March. Paris had cancelled their date at the last minute because of some work-related issues, and of course I was more than glad to take her place when he asked me. Yea, that night was absolutely amazing. It was that night that I realized how much he really did mean to me. I never wanted to let him go.
I got up from my seat and made my way over to my bed. I really, really didn't want to see them right now. I didn't like to face the two of them when they were together flaunting their undying love for each other, not that they meant to, but of course I was the one that would not let any little sign of affection go unnoticed. I always observed every little detail. I felt like I was invading their lives with my jealousy so I usually did my best to avoid Goten when he was with Paris. I knew it kind of hurt him that I did not accept Paris because she did mean a lot to him. He never picked up the real reason why I didn't like her or why it was so hard for me to go around him when he was with her. Goten just thought she really annoyed me with her obsessive girl talk and irritating mannerisms, but little did he know that was far from the truth.
oOoOoOo
I took Paris's hand as we made our way to the front door of Capsule Corp. I was about to ring the door bell as Bulma surprisingly opened the door.
"Hey Goten, Paris," she acknowledged as she flashed that million dollar smile, "Come in, come in." She made a welcoming gesture leading us into her warm home and we wisely accepted.
"So, what brings you two over here on a Friday night?" she said as we directed ourselves into the foyer.
"Well, sorry for dropping by unannounced," I started, "we actually came over to invite Bra out for the night."
"Oh, nonsense! You know you are always welcome here."
That was true. I was always welcomed at the Briefs' residence, no matter what. I practically grew up here. It was my second home, my home away from home, and I loved it dearly. I nodded to assure her that I hadn't forgotten.
"Well, last time I checked Bra was in her room. She had just finished scheduling her photo shoots that she had lined up two weeks from now. You are welcome to go up and talk to her."
"Alright, thanks Bulma," I turned towards Paris as I began to make my way up the stairs, "I'll be right back." She nodded in agreement and took a seat in the living room.
oOoOoOo
I heard the door slam downstairs indicating that Goten and Paris had comfortably made their selves at home in my heartrending presence. Just great, I thought. I hit the light switch as I watched obscurity instantly engulf my room. Maybe if I look like I'm taking a nap, they'll leave me alone. I aimlessly threw myself onto my bed as I reached over and snatched up my iPod. I rolled over so I was lying on my back and quickly turned on my iPod. Hopefully, it would drown out any recollections I had of the oblivious couple downstairs.I closed my eyes as the music began to play. I had so much on my mind that I nearly fell asleep right then. I didn't even realize that my atmosphere had been uninvitingly disrupted.
oOoOoOo
As I finished climbing the stairs I could tell that Bra's bedroom light was off since no light was revealed through the crack under her door. Ok, it's not even seven yet, I know she isn't sleeping. I made my way over to her bedroom door. I lightly placed my hand on her door knob as I carefully leaned my head against her door. Well, I don't hear anything.
I firmly gripped the icy, cold door knob and quietly turned it. I gently pushed open the door and could hear the faint sound of music playing. I followed the light that Bra's laptop emitted across her room and could tell she was lying on her bed listening to her iPod. I grinned as a mischievous plan came into mind. I nervously walked over to her bedside. I kneeled down and took note of the little bit of beauty I could see, and I smiled as I watched her sleep. I drew my face closer to hers trying to close the gap between us as best as I could. And then, I watched as her beautiful blue eyes heavily made their way open.
oOoOoOo
I slowly opened my eyes only to see a pair of onyx eyes inches away from my face staring right back at me. I nearly jumped out of my skin as I screamed like there was no tomorrow. My shouting was quickly replaced by the overwhelming laughter of a certain saiyan. I ran over and quickly turned on the light switch. I glanced over and saw none other than Goten himself bent over clutching his stomach with tears almost filling his eyes. Why, that little…
"GOTEN!"
His laughter gradually died down, "You should have seen the look on your face, B! That was priceless!"
"Well, it isn't nice to sneak up on someone like that, especially when you're uninvited!" I stated angrily as I stomped my way over to my bed and laid back down.
"Oh, c'mon B, you know me..", his voice trailed off as he made his best sad puppy dog face.
I leaned over my bed and picked up the iPod that had ever so roughly lost itself from my grip. "Well, you didn't have to scare the shit out of me, you could have at least knocked," I coolly stated.
"I'm sorry, Bra. But you wouldn't have been able to hear me with these things on anyway," he said as he held up my earphones.
I sighed, "Yea, I guess you're right."
"Well, anyways, I came over here to see if my best friend would like to join me and my girlfriend for dinner," he said with his usual Son grin. I could tell by his facial expression that there was determination behind his voice. Oh, no, I thought, he's not going to let me get out of this, I just know it.
I sat up straight on the edge of my bed and regained my composure. "I don't know, Goten. I have a lot to do…," I trailed off as I saw the smile on his face fade away, "I mean, I still have a lot to do for the upcoming photo shoots that I am in charge of."
Goten sighed and looked up at me with a slightly hurt expression, "Bra, you're always making some excuse not to hang out with me when Paris is tagging along. And what do you have to do for your photo shoots that you are so in charge of, huh? You may be a professional photographer, but I know for a fact you don't have any photo shoots scheduled for the next two weeks. So what do you say? One night won't kill you, Bra. Please." Shit, I'm stuck, I know it.
"Oh, c'mon Goten, why would you want me to tag along? You know Paris wouldn't want to be accompanied by me of all people. I'm just a bother between the two of you."
He crouched down to my level, took my hands and his, and looked me straight in the eyes. "Bra Briefs, you are not a bother, you are my best friend, and you are coming with us. No more excuses," he said with great emphasis.
"But-," I was cut off as Goten's hand censored any attempts of an excuse escaping from my lips. Damn.. I grasped his hand and slowly brought it down as I thought over his offer. Will I be able to endure the two of them through one dinner? It is just one dinner after all.. It isn't like we're making dinner an incessant event for every night of the week or anything. But, can I put up with anymore heartbreak?
oOoOoOo
Bra lightly grasped my hand while she cautiously withdrew it from her pursed lips. I could tell she was really struggling with an answer to my question as I intently studied her beautiful face. I could always tell when she was really, and I mean really thinking about something. We were and had been best friends for the past couple years after all. I continued studying her face as I looked into her shimmering blue eyes. She had averted her gaze, and it looked as is she was staring off into space. I realized she had probably gotten lost in her thoughts because she appeared to have forgotten the fact that I was still there. Right in front of her.
oOoOoOo
Kami, Bra, just make up your mind already. How bad can it be? Just tonight, Bra. Do it to make him happy. I looked him straight in the eyes as I saw them spark with hope. I realized that I had seemed oblivious to the fact that he was right in front of me. I dropped my gaze and let out a defeated sigh. He knew he had won over my acceptance. He brought his hands up and placed them on my arms. "Please, Bra. I'm sure you can stand Paris for one night. Do it for me," he said seriously. Do it for you? I'd do anything for you, Son Goten.
"I suppose one night won't hurt," I said half-heartedly. Goten immediately jumped up for joy, "Yes, finally!" He picked me up and spun me around my room carelessly.
"Oh, c'mon Goten! Put me down!" I laughed. He threw me onto my bed playfully as he had done so many times before.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." We both glanced towards the door and saw Paris leaning against the door way with a roguish smirk on her face. She knew Goten and I were best friends so she never took any of our actions seriously. Thank Kami she didn't or Goten and I would have been in for it.
"Hey, Paris," Goten said as he flashed his beautiful smile. He walked over to her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "You ready to go baby?" She asked.
"Yea, hold on. B are you ready?" Goten asked turning towards me.
"Uh.. Sure. You guys go ahead. I'll be right down."
"Alright." Goten and Paris headed downstairs. As they disappeared down the hallway I could hear the faint sound of their laughter lingering behind them. I quickly threw on my jacket and gathered my things. I scanned over my belongings in my room as I hit the light switch. Before I shut my bedroom door, I caught a glimpse of my faint reflection in the mirror with some help of the pale moonlight.
I took one last look at the mirror and said to myself, Tonight's going to be a long night.
A/N: First fanfic, first chapter. Let me know what you guys thought. I would greatly appreciate any feedback.