It had been three hours since the doctor left the compound and Klaus and Hayley still hadn't said a word to each other. They sat on opposite sides of Hayley's bedroom and just watched Nikol. Hayley had gotten up to try to feed her but the baby didn't want the bottle she offered so she retreated to her bed and played with her phone. Klaus stared out of the window trying to focus on anything but her. Hayley eyed him curiously, wondering what was going through that wicked mind of his. Little did she know the only thing his head was filled with was thoughts of her.
She was all he could think about these days really, especially since the party. Images of her exquisite beauty and memories of the tender moments they've shared plagued his mind and he couldn't shake them no matter how hard he tried. Every now and then he would glance over to her to see what she was doing, only to see her staring at Nikol. That was another thing about her that made him greatly admire her. She had no example of what a mother should be yet she was a great one. She was so gentle with their daughter and she loved her fiercely. The moment she saw her something in Hayley switched and she became the type of mother any child would be blessed to have, the type of mother neither one of them had the luxury of having.
Sometimes, no, all the time, he felt unworthy of her. He'd done nothing to deserve it all yet here she was, willing to raise a child with him amidst all of his brokenness and unknowingly helping to bring healing to some of it. That's the real reason why he got so upset the night of the party. He wasn't surprised by her rejection it was just that it confirmed that she saw him as unworthy of her as he felt. It wasn't the first time he had faced rejection, that's been one of the most consistent things in his life, but that didn't make this hurt any less. It was a harsh reality that he didn't want to have to really accept. The only way he could cope with it was through anger and distance otherwise he would come undone at the seams and expose every bit of his vulnerable heart to her.
Hayley looked up from her phone for a second and caught his eyes focused on her. He tried to look away before she noticed he had been staring at her but it was no use. She focused her attention back to Nikol and continued to pretend he wasn't in the room. The silence was haunting and the tension was suffocating. There were so many words being locked away in the room but neither Klaus nor Hayley felt like handing over their key to release them. So they just sat there, sat and waited for the other to say something, anything.
Another hour passed without words and Hayley was starting to get antsy. She stated getting up every 10 minutes of check on the child. Her nerves were a mess and her constant hovering was starting to drive Klaus insane.
"You know you don't have to check her every 5 minutes love, she's perfectly fine." He mumbled, finally breaking the silence in the room.
"I can't help it, she still feels warm what if the medicine isn't working or what if she's getting worse?"
"It's working love trust me"
"How do you even know, you've barely gotten up to check on here and you don't know anymore about what's wrong with her than I do" Hayley said agitated.
Klaus tensed up and sighed, she just couldn't drop the attitude could she.
"You seem to forget that I have advanced hearing. I've been listening to her heartbeat since I've been sitting here and her heart rate is nice and steady. If there were anything wrong that would not be the case. In fact when I first got in here it was accelerated, now it's beating strong and at a normal pace," he stated confidently. "So there you have it, is that a good enough explanation for you little wolf?"
Hayley was dumfounded. She figured he was sitting there thinking about how much he hated her not listening to their daughter's heartbeat. It was a welcomed surprise though since his assurance did help calm her nerves.
"You seem shocked…"
"I am, you haven't said a thing this whole time and you've barely gotten up to check on her. I assumed you were still in one of your moods."
"Well, contrary to what you might think I am capable of putting my anger to the side for the sake of our daughter. What good would it do for me to brood now when she's sick? Besides, I'm not very experienced with these things so getting up to check on her would be useless." He said slouching back into his chair. " I feel I have many talents but tending to a sick child is not one of them."
"You couldn't put your anger with me aside to tend to your daughter before she got sick so my assumption didn't just appear out of thin air, the way you act sometimes Klaus…" Folding her arms across her chest she tensed up as she contemplated whether or not she wanted to continue with what she was about to say. "It doesn't always inspire confidence, and you wonder why I pushed you away at the party." Hayley didn't exactly mean for that to come out but it did and judging from Klaus's blank expression she wasn't going to like where this conversation was about to head.
"Okay then, since you've obviously been itching to hash this out, let's talk about the night of the party then shall we"
"I don't want to talk about that," Hayley said quickly. As much as she wanted to confront him about it she wasn't ready to really delve into what made her push him away that night. They were going to be here in this room all night and if they started this conversation there was no way it would end without having to say how she really feels and she wasn't sure she was ready for that.
"Oh now you don't want to talk about it? You were more than willing to hash this out earlier, what's the matter little wolf? Cat got your tongue?"
Klaus was now sitting up in his chair with his deep blue eyes focused squarely on Her. "Go right ahead Hayley the floor is yours say whatever you have to say and get it over with," he said, motioning to the empty space between his chair and her bed. He was begging for a confrontation and Hayley had made it up in her mind that she wasn't going to back down now. He wanted an argument well he was going to get one and she was sure he wasn't going to like what she had to say.
"You had no right to get angry with me that night Klaus. You come at me expecting me to swoon at your little declaration of care and when I don't respond how you think I should respond you run off angry like some spoiled child."
Hayley stood up as the felt the tension rise in the room. This wasn't going to be a sitting down kind of conversation.
"You say all the right things and pretend to care so much but the moment something doesn't go your way you act out. What right do you have to push me like that and confuse me? The dress, the pampering, everything, that' s not who we are."
"Oh it's not? I seem to remember you giving me signals not that long ago too love, I don't need to remind of the things you've done for me, but I'm the bad guy here. I'm the one confusing you."
"I haven't done anything," she said defensively.
"Just admit it Hayley, you hold some of the blame too."
"No I don't"
" You stormed into MY life little wolf, if anyone is to blame it's most definitely you!" He was now standing up in the middle of the room but he kept the space between them, afraid of what would happen if he got too close.
"I was never supposed to see you again after that night, but here you are. You barged into my life carrying this child and nothing has been the same since then."
"So you blame me for getting pregnant. It was all my fault right? Me and Nikol are just burdens, standing in the way of you living your sorry like broken life here in New Orleans." She felt her heart drop in her chest when she heard his words. Had she and Nikol really been one giant burden he wished he didn't have to deal with? The more she thought about it the angrier she got so she turned her back to him, fearing that looking at him would upset her even more. "Great Klaus, just great, why am I even here then? Since I just barged in unwelcomed."
"That's not what I meant! I don't regret you and Nikol for a second but this is not something I was prepared for. Love is weakness; care is weakness and when you kissed me the night she was born I felt like the weakest being walking this earth and that drives me insane."
He grabbed her arm and turned her around so that she could face him.
"You did that, not me and when I finally have the guts to admit that I care for you, what do you do? You reject me like it none of it meant anything to you."
"What does that even mean?" She asked. Hayley's thoughts were racing and she couldn't comprehend what he was trying to say, or maybe she just didn't want to comprehend it, maybe it was easier that way.
"What does what mean?" he asked, meeting her confused eyes with his own.
"You say you care for me, but what does that even mean to you? What am I supposed to do with those words? What is it that you want from me Klaus?"
"You know what it means! I don't have to spell it out for you! Quit pretending like you don't know anything or what's going on because you do. You've felt it too, I know you have."
"But I told you that I cared for you, I told you and I meant it but that wasn't good enough for you, you just had to push and I just couldn't go there. I don't know why you got so angry anyway, who are you trying to fool, this isn't you, relationships, feelings, that's not the Klaus that I know."
"EXACTLY!" Now he was really angry. She was right, that isn't who he was, but because of her he was turning into this person. This person that could almost taste happiness, the person that longed to be those people he watches late at night in the quarter. It was all so foreign to him but he was trying to welcome it, he wanted to welcome it but she couldn't see it. She had no idea how much it was tearing him up inside to admit these things to her.
"That's not who I was, but that's changed because of you and that little girl over there." He grabbed her by the sides of both of her arms and pulled her closer to him. "I've opened myself up to you in ways I've never done in 1000 years and you spit on it like it's nothing, just as everyone else has, my siblings, my parents, you're just like them, no doubt our daughter will feel the same too!" He gripped her arms tighter causing her to pull away from him.
"That's not true Klaus!" Hayley was almost speechless. He was pouring his heart out to her in his own way and it was overwhelming her. Every word he uttered was hitting her like a freight train and the only thing she wanted to do was run away.
"Then why won't you open up to me? You see me just as they do just admit it, ADMIT IT!"
Hayley shut her eyes as she felt her anger spill over. She didn't want this conversation to continue but she was backed into a corner and there was no escape. The truth just spilled out of her against her will.
"You wanted me dead Klaus," she whispered with tears welling up in her eyes. "You wanted me dead." The tears had escaped her eyes and they fell on her cheek causing her skin to flush. She didn't even bother whipping them away.
Klaus was flabbergasted by her meek response and "what?" was all he could manage to get out. Had that night really come back to haunt him? It was a distant memory to him and he didn't even think that something like that would still weigh heavily on her but judging from her tears it did. Sometimes he underestimated the power his words had over the people around him.
"The night you found out about Nikol, I was just a scared pregnant 20 year old. I had no idea what was about to happen or what would happen. I knew that it was just one night but I thought somewhere in there, if you knew, that you would help us when they threatened our lives."
"Hayley I didn't mean that you, have to know that already, you're standing here safe and sound. Our daughter is alive and well that shouldn't matter anymore." He reached out for her again but she slapped his hand away from her not wanting to feel his touch.
" You looked at me with tears in your eyes as you listened to her heartbeat and for a split second I thought you might be able to hear me screaming inside for help but you didn't. You ignored my cries just like everyone else had over the years. I was unnoticed and uncared for and you told them to kill me." She backed away from him even more as her face continued to flood with tears. " I was just another problem; I've always been a problem, a problem to be solved by abandoning, or kicking out the house, or worse killing. You discarded me just like everyone else has and you never even apologized for it."
"I didn't know you needed an apology, you showed no signs to me that it still bothered you, how was I supposed to know." The hurt in her voice and the brokenness behind her eyes caused a burning sensation to fill his chest.
"You know what it feels like to suffer in silence. You know what it feels like to just want those around you to admit their wrong but you never mean enough to them to make them actually do it, you should have known!"
"I…Hayley please…I…" He said reaching out for her again, only to have her pull away once more.
"How am I supposed to take you seriously when you say you care for me and do all these wonderful things when that night replays over and over in my head. When the minute I disappoint you, you run away from me and act out in anger. Love from those around me has always been temporary. How am I supposed to know that giving into a desire for you that I may or may not have wouldn't end the same way? If I don't even mean enough to you to—"
"I'm sorry Hayley," he said cutting her off. He walked closer to her and took her hand in his. She didn't shy away from his touch this time so he used his other hand grip her cheek and lift her face so that she was looking him in the eyes. "I reacted harshly to the news and I said something that I deeply regret. I saw your eyes screaming out for me that night but I was too stubborn and too afraid to do anything about it. In case you haven't noticed I don't handle these types of things well. Expressing feelings, showing vulnerability, those are things I locked away a long time ago love and I'm only just now starting to unlock them thanks to you."
Hayley stared into his eyes and absorbed his words. She needed to hear him say that for months now and finally hearing the words made a peace rush over her. She could tell he meant it, she could tell he meant everything he said to her tonight and for the first time she felt like she was finally able to take it all in, to welcome it without fear or apprehension. "Thank you Klaus, I needed to hear that." She said caressing his cheek with her palm. He closed his eyes and exhaled a heavy breath he hadn't even realized he was holding in. He started to back away from her when she grabbed the hand that was on her cheek and held it in place.
"Klaus…"
"Yes little wolf?"
"Do you have feelings for me?"
He swallowed hard when he heard her question. Of course he did but he figured that would be clear to her by now. The answer to her question was a simple yes but the words refused to escape his voice box. They were at the tip of his tongue but they stalled, afraid that if they somehow managed to escape he would loose the last bit of control he had. If he let go there was no turning back and everything in him was fighting against it. "Umm well I….you should know the answer to that question."
She lifted his head back up and captured him in her hazel pupils. "I need to hear you say it Klaus, just be honest with me about how you feel. It's just you and me, forget about everything that's happened, and just tell me how you feel."
He continued to get lost in her gaze and fixed his mouth to form the words but he paused for a moment. He silently told himself to just let go. That he wouldn't regret it, that if he was ever going to find some happiness in this dark life he needed to say what was in his heart right here, right now.
"I have feelings for you Hayley, real feelings that I don't know how to deal with. They've been there in some form of fashion since the day I met you. You affected me in our brief encounters and through this experience we shared that grew into something more, something real and something I have fought with everything in me."
Hayley smiled softly and grabbed his hands pulling them up to hers and interlocking her fingers with his. She folded their arms in and let them rest between their chests. She returned her eyes to his and finally admitted to herself what she wanted, she wanted him, she wanted this.
"I have feelings for you too Klaus, I'm sorry I haven't been able to admit that until now but I feel the same way that you do. I want you, this isn't going to be easy but I want to be with you."
"Do you really?"
"Yes."
That's all he needed to hear from her before he crashed his lips into hers. He kissed her fiercely, remembering how long he's wanted to do this very thing. She returned his kisses with some fiery ones of her own. She too had longed for his lips and his touch. They released each other's hands so that they could maneuver more comfortably. Hayley grabbed his face to deepen the kiss and he wrapped his arms around her hips so that there was no space between them. He held her in his arms and allowed himself to pour all his feelings out onto her. She happily received them, parting her lips to accept the tidal wave of emotions at the tip of his tongue. They got lost in each and a blocked everything out. At that moment they were the only people in the world, finally giving into their desires and the beating of their hearts.
As the intensity of their kisses grew Klaus began walking Hayley slowly over to her bed. Once he got her there he wrapped her arms around his neck and showered her with kisses along her neck and her collarbone. He kissed her hard letting her know just how much he wanted her. Hayley could barely catch her breath when he returned to her lips and continued the onslaught. She let her fingers run through his hair as he once again assaulted her neck with his lips. She moaned in pleasure enjoying his teasing. Tossing her head back she almost forgot that they weren't alone in the room. She quickly remembered when she felt his lips drift below her collarbone towards her breasts. "Klaus, wait" she let out breathlessly.
"What is it love?"
"We shouldn't…"
"What? why not?" He asked impatiently. He wasn't ready to let her go yet; he needed to keep enjoying her.
Hayley nodded her head towards the direction of their sleeping child in her bassinet. Klaus had completely forgotten that she was in the room.
"Right, I suppose I was so entranced by her mother I forgot the little princess was even here. Perhaps we should pick this up in the morning?" He said, gently brushing his hands across her abdomen and hips.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea Klaus. Maybe we should take this slow, last time we went there we ended up with baby wolf over here" That caused both of them to let out a light chuckle.
"I'm pretty sure that was a fluke love, a happy fluke, but a fluke none the less"
"You don't know that."
He sighed and rolled off of her. He flopped down onside the bed next to her and pulled her into his body, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling his face into the back of her neck. Hayley reached her hand back to brush his face and smiled. She was happy in his arms and she didn't want it to end.
"All I'm saying is we don't need to jump into this. We can take our time, finally get to know each other and let this just take us wherever it takes us. We don't want to complicate that with sex right away. We'll get to that." She shifted her body so that she was facing him and wrapped her legs around his. He pulled her in closer to him and caressed her face. "Let's just be here, just like this for now. Is that okay?"
"How could it not? I have you here in my arms, that's all I've wanted so It's perfectly adequate for me love" Kissing her forehead he got one last kiss in before resting his chin on her head. She nuzzled into his chest and closed her eyes.
"Before we go to sleep I have one more question."
"Yes "
"Is she okay, Nikol…is she still okay?"
"Yes, she's still nice and steady. Nothing to worry about for now."
"Good."
"Goodnight little wolf"
Hayley looked up at him one last time. Taking in the sight of the big bad hybrid drifting off to sleep. She lightly kissed his chest and laid her head back down on it.
"Goodnight."
AN: Soooo I hope you guys like where I took this chapter. They've finally admitted some things to each other. I guess we'll have to see where that takes them :)
I wanted to add a little about why I chose to take their confrontation in the direction that I did. Even though this is not strictly canon I wanted to keep klaus and hayley as close to how I see them on the show as possible. I've taken a few liberties but overall I think I'm doing okay with that. One thing about them on that show that's always stuck with me is Hayley's reaction when klaus calls her a liquor fueled one night stand and the look on her face when he's listening to the baby's heartbeat. I've always felt like even though Hayley seemed okay with Klaus in the episodes to follow, that's something that's never really left her. He tossed her to the wolves when she needed him the most and I don't think she's forgiven him for that. For someone with her backstory that's not something you get over easily if ever. I wish she couldn't have confronted him about that on the show (maybe she will who knows) but I felt that was something they needed to get out before they can actually move on to admitting their feelings for each other. Hope this all makes sense lol REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! let me know that you think or if you agree or disagree with anything I said!
