Tattooed

Summary: "I've lost everything to drugs, do you know that?" Sakura told him with tears in her eyes. "The funny thing is I've never even touched a drug in my life and yet it destroyed me. It took everything." She turned to face him then. "Please, don't let it take you away from me. I won't be able to handle it, not this time, not again." S x S.

Author's Note: xXBlossomofShadowsXx, teru21, petiteTRINH, amelancholicangel, deadflo, Fashion Fairy 26, SweetSeductionCherryB : I read all your reviews in a sleepy daze, but I know everything each one of you said. I have been waiting for a week to put this chapter out. The minute I wrote it I was like, finally! Finally! Finally!

This is the first update of the day.

Disclaimer: I hate that none of this, none of them are mine.

xvii.

And I fall asleep

And dream of alternate realities

And I put myself at ease

By pretending that she still loves me

- Can't Stop/Maroon 5

Everything had seemed uncertain after that dinner with Syaoran and Mei Ling. Touya and Yukito had left a week ago, and while she could've begged for them to stay she knew it wasn't possible. They had to go home. People were counting on them there.

Sakura spent the weekend with Kero, balcony doors open and yet no call from Mei Ling or Syaoran. She knew it was probably nothing, but if it was so then it would've been a perfect world... and it wasn't. There was something wrong.

Tomoyo had texted her once over the weekend, telling her she was with her mum for a change. Sakura sighed. So it was truly just Kero and her that weekend.

Maybe it was a sign to stop dawdling and go talk to Syaoran already.

All through Saturday she read a book, listened to music and dawdled. She dusted, did the laundry, stuffed room fresheners into various corners of the house and took Kero for a long run. It was the coward's move, Sakura knew, but it was done anyway. The dawdling ensued for weeks now, what was one more weekend?

The thing was Sakura didn't know why she was avoiding Syaoran? She knew how he felt... somewhat. He'd always been all boyish charms and red with shyness around her. Was it that she'd seen the boy angry now that she was afraid he would reject her?

No, angry or not, he felt it too. It was there... whatever it was, and it was mutual.

So why couldn't he come to her this time?

On Sunday afternoon all the dawdling came to an end.

Mei Ling came to her apartment with a bang on her front door. Sakura opened the door unsurprised.

"I need you to see something." She said with a stern look and stalked off.

Sakura followed her without a word, shutting the door behind her with keys in hand as she left. For some time the thudding of her heart seemed like a noise coming from the outside. She worried if Mei Ling could hear it.

When she walked into Syaoran's apartment, her heart stopped.

*.*

"How many are there?" Sakura asked as she touched the canvases, the sketchbooks, the walls. Everything felt dry to touch. She wasn't breathing.

"I don't know," Mei Ling said as she brought her some water. Sakura accepted graciously and drank it all down.

"There are more in the bedrooms." Mei Ling told her.

Sakura inhaled deeply.

"Let's see them." She said before walking into the dimly lit corridor.

Each bedroom was the same, except for Syaoran's. While his walls remained the same, the other bedrooms were now painted in shades of black, white, auburn and blue. Portraits of her with eyes closed looking up to a starry sky, of her praying, of her with her back turned... every single one of them was of her.

"Is there something going on that I need to know of?" Mei Ling asked. "Because this is not normal Xiao Lang behaviour, he doesn't just paint girls he's barely known all over his walls. I've told you that."

Sakura didn't say anything.

"Did you guys make up after that night's fight?" she asked Sakura after sitting her down. Sakura shook her head.

"We haven't met since," she told her in a small voice. "I don't even know where he is these days."

"He's at college," Mei Ling told her. "Trying to come up with something good for this Exhibition... It's at the end of the year."

Sakura and Mei Ling said nothing else.

"Whose paintings are those in his room?" Sakura asked, already knowing some bit of the answer.

"Oh, that's his sisters and me. We went for a picnic that day..." Mei Ling trailed off. "Syaoran had so much fun that day. It was just a year ago."

"Who's the man?" Sakura asked.

"That's his dad. He died when Syaoran was fourteen."

"What about the woman?" Sakura had been wondering about her for a while now. "The one with long black hair and dark eyes,"

"That's his mom."

"Oh," she simply said.

"Just... talk to him once he's back. I don't know, say something. You like him, don't you?" Mei Ling asked. "And by like, I mean like-like."

Sakura nodded.

"I swear Sakura, Syaoran's the gentlest person you'd have ever met. He is so kind and sweet, you wouldn't believe he's the same guy now. I guess he's just... going through some stuff."

"I know," she turned to face Mei Ling. "I'll talk to him."

Mei Ling smiled. "I just know you'll be great together. He loves you already."

I love him already, too, she wanted to say. She smiled instead.

*.*

Syaoran came into his room to find Sakura sitting on his bed.

"Hey,"

Syaoran frowned. "Hi," he said anyway. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just came by to see you. Mei Ling let me in."

"Where is she?" Syaoran had wondered that since he came in.

"She went to see Tomoyo," Sakura told him. Syaoran nodded.

Sakura faced away when Syaoran went to his closet and stripped to change.

"You never told me about your sisters." Sakura said.

"Hmm," Syaoran gave her a look.

"They look beautiful,"

"I guess so,"

Half hearted answers were escaping involuntarily; he couldn't seem to help it. His head had been throbbing through the day, muddling his thoughts.

"I can't stop thinking about you,"

It took him a minute to realize that he had said that. He turned around and looked at Sakura's face. Her eyes twinkled in the twilight, green and wide.

"I, I- sometimes I just-"

Sakura looked away as he tried to frame a sentence. After a while he gave up.

"I don't even know what I'm saying." He confessed.

"How long have you been off the meth?" Sakura asked without looking at him. It irritated him. Just thinking about the meth made his skin itch.

"Close to two weeks now," he turned away, unable to look at her anymore. For a long time, he just waited for her to say something, do something.

At long last warm, soft fingers traced his spine, making him tremble. He felt nails scrape his bare skin as his breath came out uneven. He didn't dare turn around, scared that she'd stop touching him if he did.

The softest kiss was felt, gentler than the touch of a feather, first on his shoulder and then at the back of his neck. He couldn't help but groan; it was unbearably stimulating.

Sakura brought her hands around his shoulders before biting the pulse point on his neck. Her body moulded into his back as he arched at the sensation. It was all he could take.

Quickly, he turned around and brought his lips to hers.

And I can't stop thinking about you

You never could or would do what I do

And I can't stop and I can't stop

I think I know how you feel.

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