You don't see Brittany again before you go back to New York. She texts a few times to see how you are, and to talk about seeing everyone again, but she doesn't flirt, doesn't overstep any boundaries. She doesn't push you for an answer either. Brittany knows that you won't leave her waiting any longer than you need to. As soon as you take care of business, you'll put her mind at ease. It's this type of trust that makes you realise just how perfect Brittany is for you. How much you love her.
The journey back to New York is going to be long. Everything keeps replaying in your mind and you still haven't a clue what to say to Dani when you get back. All you know is that you want to keep it quick and to the point, there's no point in dragging this out.
You send a quick text to Britt before you get on the plane - tradition, really - to let her know you're leaving Ohio. Just boarding now. I'll see you soon, though. Tell the others I'll miss them. It doesn't say too much, or give her hope, but you're telling her that you're not going to be away from her long enough to miss her. (That's even a lie to yourself, because you miss her already and it's only been two days.)
Most of the flight is spent playing out scenes of your break up with Dani in your head. You don't know how you want her to react. Hopefully well. You don't want to hurt her. But then again, you think it might hurt if she takes it too well. You've been a couple for seven months now, and to you that's a considerable amount of time. You hope you've come to mean something to her after that.
The answer comes right away when you walk out of arrivals in JFK and see her standing there with a massive grin on her face. She's come to surprise you and take you home. You try to put on a fake smile and act like you're not about to make her world come crashing down. She runs over to you - actually runs (you didn't know that people did that in real life) - and kisses you right there in the middle of the airport. You can feel how much love and passion she's putting into it, but all you can think about is how her lips don't taste like Brittany's. How you don't fit with her as well as you do with Brittany. How she's too short, and you're not on your tip toes like you are with Brittany. Brittany. Brittany. Brittany.
"Hey babe," Dani says, when she pulls back. The smile on her face makes her look like a kid on Christmas.
"Hey," you reply. "You really didn't have to come the whole way to the airport, y'know?" She takes your hand proudly and starts walking towards the train station to head back into the city.
"I know," she says. "How was the glee club thing?" she asks, and it's such a normal, innocent question. But all you can think about is Brittany kissing you, and dancing with her, and singing together and just... being with her. You try to think of anything else that happened.
"It was great to see some of my friends again," you tell her, honestly. "But it sucked that even that far away from New York, I was still forced to spend time with that midget, Berry."
Dani screws up her face. "Bad?"
"Don't worry, I set her straight. Not gonna let her get the better of me on our home ground."
"You guys are gonna have to make up eventually, y'know," Dani tells you. "You're her understudy. Babe, you can't keep this high school thing going on forever. Let high school stay in high school." You know she's talking about Rachel, but you feel like she's talk about Brittany. "You live in New York now. The greatest city on earth. You've moved on."
You can't do this. You're not even out of the airport yet, and you're already freaking out. You pull your hand out of Dani's, and she looks at you in confusion. "Babe, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," you lie. "I just… can we talk about something else?"
She looks at you to try to find any clue as to what she's said wrong. After a few seconds, she gives up as if she can't find what she's looking for. "Sure," she says, her voice firm. "What do you want to talk about?"
You frantically try to think of a topic of conversation that will steer away from anything Brittany related. "You. Let's talk about you," you tell her. "What have you been up to these past five days?" It seems to do the trick, and she starts to tell you about meeting up with Elliot to practise and how she went to dinner with a friend who was visiting from out of town. You nod in the right places, and ask questions when you know you're meant to, and she talks for most of the train ride back to the city with you directing the conversation away from yourself.
It feels amazing to be back in the apartment, because no matter how difficult it was for you to admit it, New York is your home now. Dani follows you into your bedroom where you leave your suitcase and take off your jacket and boots.
"I've got an idea," Dani says, and you know by the tone of her voice where this is leading already. "How about you come over to my place later for a real homecoming." She crawls onto the bed so she's straddling you where you're sitting, and leans into your ear. "If you catch my drift," she teases. Her hand is on your leg, and you don't like where it's going. All you can think about is how Brittany didn't touch you when she leant in to kiss your cheek. She could have, easily. You've missed her touch so much. You crave it. But she didn't touch you, not after you told her it was a bad idea. She kept her hands on the chair beside you. At the time you thought Brittany was pushing the boundaries a little with her words, but now… now you can see how she was doing everything she could to stay within them.
You're snapped back into reality when Dani leans in to kiss you. You can see the lust in her eyes, and it makes you realise that this isn't right. "Stop," you tell her. She pauses. "I can't do this." She moves off your lap, and looks at you, waiting.
"Why?" is all she says.
"You've been telling me to move on, that I live in New York now, to leave high school behind. But I can't," you admit.
"What are you saying?"
"Being back there… in that school, it made me realise a lot of things. It made me realise that I'm not the person I was back then." You say the next line in an almost whisper. "But it also made me realise that I'm still in love with the same person I was back then."
You can see the realisation sink into Dani's face. She starts blinking faster, you can see her swallow. She's trying not to cry. "And me?" she says, her voice cracking. "Are you in love with me?"
She stares you right in the eye waiting for you to answer. You can see the tears starting to form because both of you know what you're going to say. You shake your head. "No." You aren't even sure if that's the truth. Maybe you could love her. Maybe you do love her. But it doesn't even compare to a fraction of what you feel for Brittany.
The tears start to fall instantly from her eyes, and she chokes out a sob. "When you were…" she struggles. "When you were in Ohio, did you and her…?" She lets the question hang in the air.
You take a deep breath. "We kissed."
You aren't even shocked when Dani slaps you. "I thought we had something, Santana!" she half yells. "I thought you could have been the one."
"I'm sorry," you say, and it doesn't sound like enough for what you're doing to her. "We could have been special," you tell her, honestly. "If it weren't for her. She's the one. She's it for me."
"Please, stop," Dani asks you. "I don't want to hear any more." She takes a minute to collect herself. "I'll… I'll come by tomorrow to pick up my stuff," she informs you. She then looks at you, really looks at you, taking you in for the last time. "I just hope she's worth it."
Dani storms out of your apartment in tears, and you feel slightly bad that you have no urge to run after her and comfort her. You almost feel numb to everything that's happening to you, everything in your world has become a blur since she kissed you in that choir room. You sit on the edge of your bed, absent-mindedly staring at the door that your now ex-girlfriend just made her way out of. It takes a few minutes until reality sinks in a little.
You're single. But not for long.
Brittany's going to be your girlfriend again.
A/N: I'll keep this short and sweet. Thank you all so much for the response to the first chapter, I'm overwhelmed. I'll be updating once or twice a week from here on in (I work full-time). My tumblr URL is scottcanyounot if you want to chat to me about Brittana. Thanks! :)