AN: First of all, Thank you I'm awesome and y'all know it for reviewing, second of all I'm SO SORRY for waiting so long with updating! Thing is, I wanted the Alternative Ending for Twila finished first, so please go check it out, it was very funny to write :). Anyway, last chapter… Again, getting slightly sad about that…
Warnings: Gay panda bears, stupidity and some sexual situations…
Now, strap yourselves in guys, here's the last chapter!
hey guys sory its been so long since an update, I don't mind… i hav been so busy latley. sooooo..i had a fight with my old beta Oh, God. What did you do? but i have a new 1 now an she is helpin me byut she is on vacaton She's not doing much then… this wk and next so i promise i will sort the spellin mistaks out wen i can! And probably just make more in the process…
Chapter 8 – the Kidnap
I sat alone in the changes rooms, i was all most naked That tends to happen when you change yeah… and looked awsome Still not modest at all… with my exotic lithely hair falling down over my face like a curtan of soft yellow cream with bits of purple in it. Sounds horrid… but I didnt care how beautifull or eqxisite I was any more. Then WHY did you just spend two sentences on telling me just how beautiful you are? WHY?Edward was gone. Has he finally seen sense? he had left to follow Bella to stop her from killin herself Nope, he hasn't. He went back to Bella…and i was SO mad. When are you not? how coud he leave me like that after sayin bella was a cow and he didnt like her no more? I was pissed! You already said that… and the tears were falling down my face like a tepid summer rain of misery and woe. Oh for GOD'S sake, just say you cried!So i went home and skipped school and sat in my room in my black corset and leather panties What happened to your clothes? and i smoked some drugs and started to weep.
dave came in and made a big smiley face. What the hell?
"hi tiaa! I didnt no you were home! how was school today?" She's crying nitwit. How do you think? (he didnt notice i was smokin drugs he thougt my cigarete of pot was a chapstick) Then he's one of the dumbest people I've ever met…
"it sucks!my life sucks and i want to DIE!" KILL YOURSELF! PLEASE! i scremed and my eyes glitered with beauty. Beauty? Don't you mean tears?
"u teenagers and ur problems, LOL!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I can't. I just. Can't. he said laughing a lot, and i knew he thougt i was just some silly kid wineing about homework and dumb boys and stuff. *Bangs head into wall repeatedly while screaming herself hoarse* he didnt no i had killed a man and lost the love off my life and had made lauren get hit by lighting Thanks for the reminder… and that all the kids at school thougt i was a freak You are becase my face and bodys were so diffrent from everyone elses. *Facepalm*. OF COURSE YOU'RE DIFFERENT! WHO ISN'T? THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU SPECIAL!
"dave your a good person but ur SO FUCKIN DUMB! YOU ASSHOLE!" Holy ****. Calm your ass, Donkey i shouted at him and i threw my ashtray at his head WITHOUT TOUCHING IT Riiiiiiiiight… (i could make stuff move when i was angry now... *Facepalm* Again… it was so weird! why did this have too happen to me!) Because you're an idiot…
"haha, i guess your right" he laughed If I'd done that with my parents, they'd have… Well I don't know, but they most certainly wouldn't have LAUGHED (he thougt i was joking, No, they wouldn't have thought that either… i wasnt spoiled or anythin) Evidence points in the other direction. Or you've just got shitty parents… "its so nice havin you hear tiana, your so pretty. i swear your even prettier than before! Ew. Pervert… and i think your boobs hav grown!"
"yeh i no they are like an E cup now" i said. 1) Good for you, 2) Wow, mood swings…, 3) Your back must hurt like a bitch, then, and 4) HOW ON EARTH IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE CONVERSATION TO HAVE WITH YOUR FRIGGIN' FATHER?!
Dave smiled and patted me on the head and left.
I was so sick of bein treated like a kid and no one listenin to me that i got up and got dresed in a long black dress and took some pills (of drugs) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP IT! and went out to the local nightclub which was called Pablo NIghtmare - it was a goth club were all the cool people went in forks. bella probably had never even heard of it, LOL! Why the "LOL"? i met snoofles on the way and he came with me. So, let me get this straight. You took a PANDA to a club? And you wonder why people stare at you… we went to the club and got drinks and started dancing to the heavy metal music. A dancing panda? Someone get a camera! ppl there stared at us cos i was so diffrerent looking EVERYONE is different. Doesn't make you special… and Snoofles was a panda, Again, and you wonder why people stare… but we didnt care we were havin so much fun we were SO drunk and had taken a lot of drugs so my head was fuzzy like there was snow everywhere. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!
"hi your called Tiana That's ONE option, yes… arent you? I am Jasper and I go to your school" said Jasper Cullen who was tall with blond curly hair like straw only soft and nice and not dry. So, in other words, it's NOTHING like straw… he was tall. he was wearin a black pulover and red metal pointy shoes. (AN - haha, that descripton sounded beter in my head, OH WELL!) Don't see how that could sound good like, EVER
"hey whatever" i said. "why arent you with that girl i all ways see you with?
"you mean my GF alice," he said and locked soddenly very sad and started to cry and bite down hard on his lips. Okay…
"what is wrong Jasper?" i said
"the problem is i dont love her like she loves me. PLEASE don't say you like Donkey more… i am gay, *Makes a relieved sound* and thats wrong, and i feel so horible about it!" Why?
"REALLY?" he sed, Wait. But. If this is Jasper, then who said that last sentence? I'm confused… and looked chocked with his mouth open.
"theres nothing bad about bein gay u no" i said. FINALLY, we've found something to agree on… OH NO! I AGREE WITH DONKEY! PLEASE KILL ME!
"yeah, its proper normal and Snoofles is gay and everything" Snoofles also is a panda bear… i said and Snoofles waved and Jasper waves back. he smiled and we all stared dancing together and Jasper gave us some of his drugs. *Chokes on her drink* WHAT?!
we had a relay good time and jasper met another gay guy called Vince and we all got in Snoofleses THAT PANDA HAS A FRIGGIN' CAR?! WHAT IS GOING ON? car at the end of the night and i drove around while the others all had sex in the back of the car. Ew. Seriously. Ew (i was drunk but cos i was a vampire it was ok to drive i had beter reflex than humans!) Try telling the cops that… I'm sure they'll believe you…
but soddenly somethin jumped into the road infront of us and i had to stop the car and get out. there was a man standin in the middle of the road he was tall and mussely and had black hair like the black feathers of a raven in the black darkness. *Black Overload* Seriously. STOP IT! he was good looking but he looked so angry i got out my samurai sword Wait what? (i often have it with me!) WHAT? but somone jammed up behind me and tore it from me, WHAT?! there were like ten people all grabbing my body in the darkness and they put a thing over my face so i coudnt see and they tied me up! Jasper Snoofles and Vince were too busy doing gay sex on each other to notice, Suuure… i cud hear them grunting and humping and having orgasms on each other – Yikes… it was so cute Not the word I'd use… but now was SO not the time! The men who had caught me took me away and somethin hit me over the head and i was unconshous.
when i awoken i found myself in a small dark room and the tall mussel man was in front of me. i was strip down to my underwear and i was chained to a chair with some metal chains and i coudnt move. Oh, god. This looks like I'll hate it…
"WHO ARE YOU YOU WANKY PERV!" i shoyted. And here we go…
"I AM JACOB...THE WEREWOLF KING!" *Bangs head into keyboard* he yelled with his eyes rolling around in his face - he looked so mad and CRAZY! He sounds like a real fun dude…
"NOOOOOOO!" I scremed and i try to broke myself free but i was under so many heavy chains so i looked into his wagging face insted. His WHAT?
"Watt do u want from me? why am i here?" i say and i started to cry.
"YOU MUST BE PUNISHED FOR WHAT YOU DID TO BELLA SWAN!" Oh, please he shreeked and the drool was sloapping down his face just like rain only thick and foam-like. Yikes "YOU ARE A HALF-BREAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god. Can't stop laughing… HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU SHOUD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORNE! YOUR FATHER WAS A VAMPIRE AND YOUR MOM WAS A WHITCH! ITS WEIRD AND WRONG AND NOW YOUVE BROKEN BELLAS HEART! How did she do that? Bella wasn't in love with HER HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!" HALF-MAN! HALF-MAN! Sorry, just watching Game of Thrones. Has this effect on me… I LOVE Tyrion :)
This dude was insane, he was so angery he was jumpin up and down. Sounds more like he's excited… But something he said had caugt my attention. The part where he called you a bread? The part where he accused you of breaking Bella's heart?
"What do u mean my mom was a whitch?" I said. Seriously? THAT part?
"MY FATHER USED TO NO HER! SHE LIVED HERE IN LA PUSH AND SHE WAS A WHITCH! SHE COUD MAKE FIRE COME FROM NOWERE AND CONTROLL THE WETHER AND TALK TO ANIMALS AND LOADS OF OTHER STUFF! SHE WAS A FREAK LIKE U!"
Of corse! It all made sense now! No it doesn't I was so shocked I fainted, Seems to happen a lot…
When i woke up Jacob was in front of me and he was NAKED! The HORROR! He was smilling in a proper creepy way and looked totaly weird like a greasy frog thing Riiiight… and his male genital item Well, I suppose it's better than "man-carrot"… was not nice like edwards it was like a horible wet mushroom. What? Right… he stroked my knee with it and i gapsed. whatt was he going to do to me! You mean you can't guess? It seems pretty obvious to me…but sudenly before he coud come any closer the door of the room we were in burst open!
IT WAS EWDARD! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand, the END! Seriously. It is…
AN: Well everyone, this is it. The end…
Thank you:
I'm awesome and y'all know it, SparkleXRiverX, DJ1992, ThoseEvilDucks and Erin Primette. Seriously, THANK you. Again, please go check out the Alternative Ending to Twila, it's on my profile page… Also, what should I do next? Please review and leave me your ideas!
See you next time!
HeapsofHorses