"Oh my god…"

"Nope, that's Alfred."

Barbara did a double take and tore her eyes away from the vast entrance of Wayne Manor to blink at the older man who greeted them. The butler raised one eyebrow at Dick's impish grin but otherwise didn't react to the comment.

"Um… hello Alfred, and not that you're probably not a great guy, but I was kinda referring to the architecture…" She said, eyes sliding to glare mildly at the short boy beside her. Alfred nodded in affirmation that he had already ascertained as much without Dick's trolling.

"Details." Dick cackled, moving forward and dragging her with him. She couldn't comprehend how big this place was. Everything was just breathtakingly beautiful and perfectly designed, and yet still had a sort of homey feel to it. Perhaps it was the way Dick went running through the halls—dragging her with him—grinning like a manic, that just made it feel… lived in. It wasn't some vast, empty home with too much space and too few people. Dick's glowing personality filled up every crevice and made it like a home.

A completely massive home, but still.

They suddenly entered a very nice kitchen, to be greeted by Alfred holding a tray of delicious smelling cookies, although Barbara could've sworn they'd just ditched him in the front hall.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you Miss. Gordon." Alfred continued as if they hadn't just moved location.

"Alfred was my home school teacher before Bruce decided on real school this year." Dick said with an eye roll at his father's decision.

"Two weeks into the start of a new school year and no calls home from his English teacher. I can say I am quite pleased with his progress. Either that or Ms. Monroe is quite forgiving a woman." Alfred said calmly as he placed the cookies in front of them and poured them each a cup of tea.

Dick looked affronted at his ex-teacher's veiled insult and spluttered indignantly while Barbara ticked her head to the side in interest.

"I was wondering why you're in all advanced classes except English." He prompted and Dick sighed in defeat and he snagged a cookie.

"English isn't exactly my first language. It's… not as easy for me as everything else." He admitted and Barbara felt her eyebrows shoot upwards in surprise.

"You're really good at speaking it anyway! I never would've gotten that." She said in alarm.

Dick snorted and shot a look at Alfred. "I was raised by him, it wasn't like I had a chance of failing! Bruce is forever surprised I didn't develop a British accent though."

"You were always quite fond of American television though, that may have helped." Alfred added dismissively.

"TV wasn't something I ever had in Haley's," Dick shrugged. "It was a novel idea." He smiled warmly, taking a cookie and offering one to Barbara too.

"You never had TV? Now that's just—oh my god,"

"Nope, that's still Alfred."

"Dick, shut up—Alfred, these cookies are amazing." Barbara said sincerely to the elder man who smiled politely and nodded his thanks.

"Why thank you Ms. Gordon," He said evenly as she stared at the baked good as if she could dissect it and figure out its magic merely with her eyes.

"Vous devriez essayer sa tarte aux pommes." Dick said happily, and Barbara turned a confused look at him.

"Excuse me?" She lifted an eyebrow at him. "I mean, excusez-moi?" She recited back the only French she knew so far. That and "bon jour".

"We're here to study, are we not? I know French, and you only know how to say 'where's the bathroom?' so far, and I think that's unacceptable." He said briskly. "Don't you think Alfred?"

"Je pense qu'elle va avoir besoin d'être très patient pour mettre en place avec vous." The old man said evenly back without even blinking, still managing to sound proper and British while speaking fluent French.

"Traître!" Dick cried indignantly right back.

"I am so lost right now." Barbara said nervously, glancing between them. Dick just grinned.

"Don't worry, we'll have you fluent before dinner."

She gulped nervously.

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Transaltion:

D: You should try his apple pie.

A: I think she is going to have to be very patient to put up with you.

D: Traitor!