Let's just all forget that I haven't forgotten anything important such as a the extremely important line of writing here: ⬇️
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, the belong to a certain Mr Derek Landy. (who happens to be publishing a new book next next month! I can't wait!)
Here is the next chapter.
Skulduggery called Erskine next, determined to prove to Ghastly that he definitely did have a brain which had not been fried at all!
Flashback:
When he had called Ghastly to ask him what he had done wrong, he had heard Ghastly punching the wall and loudly threatening to do the same to him tomorrow. Then he had been hung up on again! Skulduggery had started to go away when the phone rang. He picked it up and saw that it was Ghastly. Grumbling to himself that it was unfair that Ghastly got to call him but not the other way around, he answered the call.
There was silence for several moments and just as Skulduggery was about to hang up, Ghastly's voice boomed out of the receiver, saying to ask Erskine what he thought of whether Skulduggery was a brainless fool or not. It scared what little life Skulduggery had left out of him, and made him drop the phone in fright. On the other end, Ghastly heard a muffled whumph and smirked as he realised what had happened. He hung up. Skulduggery frowned, annoyed, when he heard static. He picked the phone up and put it back in its place.
Flashback end.
Ring ring...
Erskine answered the call.
Skulduggery felt a strong sense of déjà vu as Erskine sleepily muttered into the phone:
"Hello? Is that you, Skulduggery?"
This time, instead of arguing, Skulduggery simply replied cheerfully that yes it was him.
"What are you doing calling me at this time in the day?"
"I'm not."
"Yeah you are. Unless this is a dream in which case I should hang up right now." Erskine yawned.
Panicking, Skulduggery hastily replied:
"oh, no, no, I can assure you that it's not in the slightest bit a dream."
"So why are you calling me at this time in the day?"
"I'm not. It's night."
"No it's not. It's day."
"Oh, who cares, Erskine? It's not important" Skulduggery irritably muttered. "There are other more important things which I wish to discuss with you."
"Actually, the time is very important. If we couldn't tell whether it was day or night, our body's systems would become confused, causing us to lose concentration and-"
"Ok, ok. Fine then. I don't know how I put up with you all day! Daytime and nighttime are very important, blah blah blah blah blah."
"They are important though!"
"Yes, yes, of course they are. What I wanted to tell you was that I was in the Sanctuary doing that report on that case you and Ghastly made me do even though you didn't tell me beforehand and you insisted you did tell me about but actually didn't and then I finally finished and can you believe that it had 2738 words and then I was bored and then someone-"
Skulduggery was cut of by an Erskine who had been finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open suddenly muttering:
"Come back banana man- I want to become a mermaid and wear seashell bras and necklaces and play with you in the tree!"
Deeply disturbed by this strange comment, Skulduggery shouted into the phone:
"WAKE UP THIS INSTANT ERSKINE! DO NOT GO TO SLEEP!"
Erskine briefly wondered in his sleep why Skulduggery was the banana/mermaid before he startled awake.
"Skulduggery, sensing that Erskine had woken once again but was on the brink of slipping into unconsciousness, decided that his story could be told tomorrow and he had more important things to discuss, such as the existence of his brain.
"Erskine?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think I'm clever?"
"You're a clever celery."
Confused but undeterred by the this, Skulduggery continued.
"So that means that just like everyone else I have a brain, right?"
"What a strange question! Are you sure you're all right?" Even in his sleepy state Erskine managed to find sense.
"Of course you have a brain!"
"Really?"
"Yes!"
"Do you mean it?"
Erskine, deciding that the conversation would be over sooner and he could get to bed quicker if he told the truth, decided to just tell the truth.
"No."
Skulduggery was hurt. He had previously been so full of excitement at being able to prove Ghastly wrong and now... Now here was Erskine, siding against him! How could no one realise that his brain was still there?
"What do you mean?" He whispered sadly.
"Well," Erskine said matter-of-factly, "everyone knows that even a brain as good as yours couldn't possibly have survived that fire!" He then promptly drifted off.
Skulduggery sadly hung up by whacking the phone until it had a huge dent in it, something he had learnt to do from Ghastly.
Review! *clap clap clap* Review! *clap clap clap* Review! Ok, hopefully I've gotten it into your brains (which exist unlike a certain someone's...)! I will hopefully be posting the next chapter either tomorrow or the day after. Oh, and I know this is a bit early but before I forget, please let me know if you would like me to include a twist of Balduggery (aghhhh why? It happens everytime!) I mean Valduggery into the story later on? Other pairings are also welcome.