The entire time you're eating, you still can't quite believe that Brittany is now sitting on your couch. Less than two hours ago, your hungover ex-girlfriend was lying there and now… well now, the love of your life is sitting in that exact same spot eating the last of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"So… how do we go about this?" you ask shyly. You don't really know why you feel so nervous around Brittany. After all, it's Brittany.

"Well you said you had some things you wanted to clear up first," she reminds you. "So why don't you just let me know what your insecurities are and we'll address them."

That's a lot easier said than done, you think. But you take a deep breath and start. "I'm scared that you still hate me for breaking up with you when I went to college." You can't believe you just said that. "And I'm scared that you'll start to hate me for it again if we start dating again and we both realise that we wasted time not dating for nothing."

Brittany's eyes soften and look at you with nothing but love. "Santana, I never hated you for that. Never. And I couldn't ever."

"But I ruined what we had for no reason at all! I panicked and messed things up!"

"You didn't ruin anything. At the time I didn't really get why you were breaking up with me - I still don't really understand why - but I never hated you. I was just really, really sad. All I knew was that you didn't want to be with me anymore and I was back to square one, being the kid who has to repeat a year while you were off making a life for yourself."

"You think I didn't want to be with you?" you ask her, quietly.

She chuckles nervously. "Well, I mean you did break up with me."

"No, no, no," you tell her, and you move from the seat where you've been sitting over to the couch so you can be closer to her. "I've always wanted to be with you, from the day I met you and every moment after. I didn't break up with you because I didn't want to be with you! Britt, I broke up with you because I couldn't take not being near you, not being able to talk to you every day, not being able to kiss you when you were sad, or wake up next to you in the morning. I couldn't take it. I broke up with you because I wanted to be with you so much that it was killing me. And I think, if we're being honest, you felt the same way."

Brittany smiles. "Nothing was the same when you left. It was like… everything was black and white when it used to be in color. Every day in school I was waiting for you to walk into the choir room or come into class but you never did. Everything reminded me of you. There wasn't anywhere I could go that didn't hold memories. Even the quiet places… we made them our own," Brittany says with a smirk. You remember how you'd find every janitor's closet, every unused bathroom, every space under the bleachers and you'd find yourself pressed up against a wall with Brittany's fingers working miracles underneath your skirt.

"Yeah, we really owned the place, didn't we?" You both laugh. "Britt, I just don't want you to hate me for wasting time."

"I don't think we wasted time," she tells you. "Sure, we could have dated for a few extra months, but if we had would we have had the experiences we've had? Would I have went to MIT? Would you have auditioned for Funny Girl? I mean, I'd love to have spent those months with you, but I think it's actually done us good. It's given us time to find our own identities." You have no idea how she manages to be so concise and so smart, but she always surprises you. "Even though I kind of lost my identity for a while… I think I had to to find myself."

"I'm glad you found your way back," you tell her.

"It's hard to be lost when you're home," she replies, and you can feel yourself melt.

"Good to know. So, we're agreed that the break up was dumb at the time but was probably for the best in the long run? And you're not going to hate me?" you ask.

Brittany laughs. "Santana, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not going to hate you! I love you… I think that's as far away as you can get from hating someone."

"Probably," you say with a smile.

"It's my turn now to bring up an insecurity," Brittany says, and she does look slightly scared. "You're not still in love with Dani, are you? I mean, you only broke up, like, yesterday."

"I can't still be in love with someone I was never in love with," you tell her, and she looks shocked.

"But-"

"I love her, yeah. But in the same way I love Kurt or Sam or Quinn."

"Oh, Quinn," Brittany says when you mention her name. She's trying to keep emotion out of her voice but years of reading her tells you that she's slightly annoyed. "That too. You slept with her?"

Just like someone turned on the heating in the apartment to full, you can feel yourself getting hotter by the second. This just got awkward.

"Yeah," you admit. You never thought you'd be having this conversation with Brittany. Partly because you were always convinced Quinn was straight enough that you'd never get with her, and partly because, at the time, you honestly thought Brittany was going to become a person who stayed in your past. "It was after we broke up. I was still desperately trying to work out what to do with my life and how to move on from you, and she was there. We got drunk and I think she was lonely. I don't know. It just happened. One minute we were laughing out in the corridor, and then the next we were in the hotel room and-"

"Okay, I get it," Brittany interrupts. "Was she…" Brittany laughs. "God, I can't believe I'm asking this. Was she… good?"

You swallow. "She was… looking for a release, I guess. She didn't want the romance or the foreplay, she just wanted to get off. And it was her first time with a girl, so she didn't really know what to do."

"You still haven't answered my question," Brittany tells you, and you look her in the eye. You can tell this conversation is a little uncomfortable for her but there's something in her eyes that tells you that she's enjoying watching you struggle.

"For it being her first time, she was better than I expected. But as far as sex with girls goes, she's probably the worst I've had."

That makes Brittany look happier, and also a little proud. You guess it's because Quinn's always been the best at everything and now Brittany's finally found something that she's the worst at. "And Dani?"

"Britt, do you really want to-"

"How was she?" Brittany asks again, without hesitation. She's smiling, and you can tell that the mood is less tense now.

You guess you have to be honest. "Experienced," you laugh. "Sometimes I almost felt like a virgin again."

Brittany's eyes widen in interest. "She teach you anything we can try?" she asks with a smirk, and the question makes your stomach do flips.

"The only thing she introduced me to that we hadn't tried was… accessorising. If you catch my drift."

Brittany's blue eyes darken and she looks at you like prey. "Interesting. You'll have to show me what you've learned sometime…" she says, her voice heavy with lust. She lets the thought hang in the air and watches as you take the time to process it. It takes all your willpower not to take her right there and then on your couch.

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't," you tease. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

"Don't keep me waiting too long though," Brittany says instantly. God, you've missed her so much.

"I wouldn't dream of it," you say, and immediately push yourself forward to kiss her. Your hands finding her cheeks, bringing her closer to you. As soon as your lips touch it ignites something deep within you that you haven't felt for such a long time. When Brittany kissed you in Ohio, you knew that's all it was going to be - a kiss - but now, here in your apartment, this could go anywhere. And the thought of that makes your stomach flip.

Brittany moans at the contact and she places her hands around your back pulling you closer. You hardly notice it happening, but a few seconds later, Brittany has repositioned so she's lying across the couch and you're on top of her. It makes you pause for a second, so you pull out of the kiss.

"Too much?" you ask, even though you know it's not. "It's not too fast? We were meant to talk abo-"

"Shut up and keep kissing me," Brittany says and pulls you back down to kiss her. You automatically obey and kiss her harder than before. This is it. All or nothing.

Brittany takes the lead and reaches for the bottom of your dress, pulling it up over your head. You move yourself to make it easier for her, and in a few seconds you feel the cold air of the apartment hit your skin. You only notice it for moment before you're distracted by the way Brittany's eyes widen at the sight of you in your matching black lacy underwear. Being on top of her like this accentuates your boobs so Brittany can't take her eyes off them.

"God, I missed this," she whispers with lust in her voice. She runs her hands along your back from your bra right down to the top of your underwear and you shiver at her touch. She teases you by playing with the elastic on your panties, dipping her fingers underneath slightly every few seconds.

"You… you have far too many clothes on," you tell her, and she doesn't hesitate to quickly pull off her own t-shirt. You thank every god you know of that she decided not to wear a bra.

"Better?" she asks.

You place your thumbs under the waistband of her sweats, and start pulling them down. "It will be when I get these off you," you tell her, watching as her legs come into view. You discard her sweats on the floor beside you and your breath hitches at the feeling of skin on skin for the first time in what feels like forever.

You focus your attention on Brittany's neck, kissing down over her chest and pausing at her breasts. You pay attention to each one in turn, sucking on her nipple softly at first and then harder when she begins to moan in pleasure. Her body writhes underneath yours and it makes the fire inside you burn brighter.

"Santana," she moans. "Santana, I need-"

You know what she needs. It's the same thing that you need right now. The only reason you're holding off is because you didn't want to just jump right in. But if Brittany wants you to jump right in, then you're going to.

"I love you," you breathe out against her skin as you move your kisses lower, taking off her panties at the same time.

"I love you, too," Brittany gasps when you leave her completely naked. You're almost where you want to be when-

You swear you'd put your goddamn phone on silent but here it is ringing full volume right when you're about to do something you thought you'd never get to do again.

"Fuck!" you exclaim, trying not to let it distract you. You keep going but Brittany seems more distracted than you. "It'll ring off in a second," you tell her, kissing her stomach and bringing your hands down her sides to find her ass.

A few seconds later, the apartment is silent again, apart from Brittany's breathing which is becoming slightly more shallow the lower you go on her body.

You regain composure and go lower, until you're inches from where you need to be when your phone rings again.

"Maybe you should answer it," Brittany says, reluctantly.

"After all this time and I can't even go down on you in fucking peace," you exclaim.

Brittany laughs. "Such a charmer."

"I'm going to kill whoever this is!" you sigh, reluctantly reaching over to pick up the phone. You don't know the number. "Yeah," you say when you answer instead of hello.

"Santana," you recognize the voice.

"Rachel, I'm kind of in the middle of something here so make it quick. And," you look at the number she's calling from in confusion, "Where the hell are you calling from?"

"Santana," she says again, and you listen to her voice this time. She sounds… broken. "Santana, it's Kurt. He's… he's in the hospital."