Tattooed

Summary: "I've lost everything to drugs, do you know that?" Sakura told him with tears in her eyes. "The funny thing is I've never even touched a drug in my life and yet it destroyed me. It took everything." She turned to face him then. "Please, don't let it take you away from me. I won't be able to handle it, not this time, not again." S x S.

Author's Note: xXBlossomofShadowsXx, teru21, petiteTRINH, deadflo, Fashion Fairy 26: Ladies, thank you for your patience! I'm sorry about this slightly delayed chapter.

Okay, for a week or so the updates will be erratic as I'm going out of town and I won't be able to reply to all your reviews. But you know how I feel.

Blossom: Hope you're reading this from wherever you are!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

xxiv.

So close the blinds and shut the door
You won't need other friends anymore

- Don't Leave Home/Dido

Syaoran hear the faint familiar ringtone of his phone over and over again. It was such a light sound and yet it woke him from the deep sleep he'd managed to fall into.

Cramped and numb he pulled away from Sakura's warmth and searched for the phone. Sometime passed before he realized the phone was probably in the backpack, the backpack he was soon to burn.

"Touch me,"

The words were branded into his mind, along with the guilt. He would go to hell for this for sure, but at least he had Sakura.

Syaoran couldn't imagine losing her.

The backpack lay on the living room floor. Mei Ling was dressed and ready to leave, drinking coffee with Tomoyo. He stopped short, wondering if they'd seen him yet, ready to turn around.

"Xiao Lang," Mei Ling's firm greeting came. Syaoran sighed.

"Hey,"

"Hey yourself, you look like the dead." She told him as he walked to the backpack. Unzipping it, he found the phone and brought it to his ears, waving back at Tomoyo.

So this is what the walk of shame felt like.

"Syaoran?" a male voice asked. "It's Eriol,"

"Hey, what's up?"

"Well, you were late for the first class and now Mr. Martin's asking if you sent in your confirmation."

"Huh?"

"You were selected, Syaoran, for the Exhibit?"

A bulb lit up in Syaoran's head.

"Really?" he asked dumbly before rushing to his room to pick up a pair of pants and change into a clean shirt.

"Really, now please get down here. Mr. Martin's having a stroke."

Syaoran gave a rushed okay and woke up Sakura. Mei Ling and Tomoyo had entered his room.

"I got it," he exclaimed as he jumped through the room on one leg trying to put on shoes. "I got selected!"

"That's amazing Syaoran! Congrats!" Tomoyo was the first to counter with a hug. Syaoran hugged her tighter than ever. Sakura grinned. Mei Ling was the next to hug him.

"You are in so much trouble, but I'm glad this worked out for you."

"I'm so sorry, Mei." He told her feeling remorseful. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't—"

"You can make it up to me, you already know how." She kissed his cheeks and brought him in for another tight hug. Sakura stood beside the bed in Syaoran's shorts and t-shirt. The sight made him giddy.

"You look beautiful," he told her with a full kiss to her mouth. "This is all thanks to you."

Sakura narrowed her eyes playfully.

"Just go," she shoved him away after kissing him one last time.

The three girls were left in the room after Syaoran rushed out of the apartment. Mei Ling shook her head.

"What is it?" Tomoyo asked.

"I'm so sure he didn't even get to brush his teeth."

Sakura grinned. "He didn't."

Mei Ling left the room while making elaborate puking noises. Tomoyo eyed Sakura with a sad smile.

"He's agreed?"

Sakura nodded.

Tomoyo took out her cell phone. "I'll let Touya know."

Sakura went home to call in sick.

*.*

That night, the four of them sat around the kitchen counter with a few candles, thanks to Tomoyo, and ate dinner. Sakura cooked spaghetti and meatballs, Tomoyo brought chocolate pudding from a nearby bakery. They had water and cranberry twirls to drink.

They talked about Syaoran.

"I mainly got high to paint," he told Mei Ling and Tomoyo. "I felt like I was running out of inspiration... and getting high helped for a while." He looked at Sakura.

"How long have you been doing it?" Tomoyo asked.

"I did a bunch of stuff over maybe three years now?" Syaoran confessed. "Sometimes I had no control over some of the things I did when I was high. The worst was dad's death anniversary this year." He sighed before taking a bite.

"That's when you found me, Sakura." He told her without looking.

"Why didn't you call home, Xiao Lang?" Mei Ling asked sadly. "We would've been here with you; you could've avoided all of this."

Syaoran didn't really know how to say it, so he didn't. Instead he focused on continuing his story.

"It's been easier, though. I... don't think about doing it as much, but sometime's the urge is powerful, like when I'm around others who are doing it."

"No more of that, then," Mei Ling ordered.

"I... think you were hallucinating quite a few times, Syaoran." Sakura said to him. "Meth is known for that. Even after giving it up sometimes the delusions are long-lasting."

Syaoran took another bite. "I don't remember some things... there are gaps." He thought of his night with Mei Ling, then Nakuru. Bile filled his throat.

"I think you thought..." Mei Ling started. "... I was your mom."

"I'm sorry Mei," he said again. He didn't know it'd gone that far.

"I know you are." Mei Ling assured him with a kick to his shin. "No more, you won't anymore. We don't care about media or politics, we just want our brother to be safe and happy." Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. Syaoran nodded.

"Fanren'll be here in two days, so will Touya." Mei Ling told him then.

Syaoran groaned.

"He'll help you out with which organization to choose, what type of treatment you're interested in... he's the best at this." Tomoyo paused and looked at Sakura.

"You can pick an alias, most drug addicts do when they enter these types of programs. It only makes sense that you should too." Sakura finished as she rubbed his cheek sweetly. Syaoran had to smile.

"To recovery," Tomoyo raised her glass. "I hope you shine under your new name,"

"I hope you're never alone," Mei Ling raised hers.

"You will say no." Sakura demanded. "You will say no even if it means dying, even if it means losing everything, you will say no."

Syaoran grinned.

"To the power of no," he raised his glass last.

They clinked and drank, Sakura looking at Syaoran all the while.

So many secrets the green eyed beauty was keeping, so many embedded into her skin and deep into her subconscious.

He decided to let her come to him. There was no point pressuring Sakura for answers.

Much after dinner, much after Tomoyo and had left and Mei Ling had gone to sleep, Syaoran felt the familiar burn within him as he brought Sakura into his room.

"I don't regret it," Syaoran said to her between kisses, undressing her slowly, loving the way silken skin felt against rough hands.

"If I'd never started... If I wasn't high that day," he paused as Sakura brought his t-shirt over his head. "I never would've met—"

"Shh," she silenced him before unbuckling his belt.

Love... had this. Love was its own kind of drug, a drug that didn't need meth or a high to enhance an orgasm.

Everything was heightened. Everything was wonderful.

Everything was ecstasy when it came with love.

After a lifetime of searching, of desperate wanting... he found her. And he would do everything in his power to have her by his side.

That was the night Syaoran made the decision to never tell Sakura.

Oh how quiet, quiet the world can be
When it's just you and little me
Everything is clear and everything is new
So you won't be leaving will you

QUESTION: What is your favourite book?

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