Miyuri hasn't come to see me in days. What if her parents have her locked in her room? Gaara walked back and forth, carving a furrow in the sand with his agitation. Yeah, but if you show up her parents will be even more unhappy with her. He kept pacing, faster now. Yes, but what if she needs my help? And...if I don't get caught...I can't get her in trouble.
Decision made, he headed in the direction of her house. Once he arrived, he was surprised to see that her home was empty. He could see signs of a struggle in the sand outside her front porch. Did something happen here? Was there an enemy attack?
He searched around, looking for some sign, some clue as to what had happened to Miyuri. He froze when he saw the wreckage that had once been a rose made of sand. Miyuri...what happened to you?
Watching the other children play from her window, Miyuri felt an overwhelming wave of sadness. Gaara...I miss you so much.
She opened the window and listened to them play. "I wish I had friends to play with..."
"So play with them." Her mother's voice came from the doorway. "They aren't demons. It's about time you had some human friends."
"You hate him for no reason. He never did anything to you." Her anger rose in a way it never did in her own defense. "All he did was befriend me, and you hate him for it! I wonder what that says about you? That you hate the only friend your daughter ever had, for no reason other than that he was her friend?" Her eyes rose to meet her mothers, and she let her see the full breadth of her pain and rage at having him taken from her. "He's never hurt anyone..." Her voice trailed off to a whisper, her sadness rising until it was hard to speak.
"I wonder what it says about you, daughter, that the only friend you have ever had is a demon. Obviously we failed raising you, and this is the result. But I am only sorry that you turned out to be such a stupid girl. I thought we'd raised you to have a little more sense." With that her mother turned to leave the room.
When she heard the lock click, Miyuri sobbed. Gaara...I miss you so much...I hope you make a new friend. A better friend. A friend who is strong enough that they'll never abandon you, even if someone tries to force them.
Her hands clenched into fists, determination winning for a moment against her despair. "I will become strong, Gaara. I will be so strong that no one will ever be able to make me give up my friends again. And then...then I will definitely see you again!"
I wish they'd let me play with them. I'm always...alone. Gaara sat on the swing and watched the other kids play soccer. One of the Suna children kicked it hard towards the goal. As the goalie reached forward to block, it was knocked upward, eventually coming to rest on top of a small cliff behind the goal.
"Oh no! What are we going to do now?!"
"I don't know any wall climbing techniques yet..."
"I don't know anything either..."
Gaara stood, cautiously moving toward the other children. They didn't notice him until he used his sand to retrieve the ball. He hesitated, looking down when they all stared at him as if he were about to kill him. "Here...Here you go...I got your ball for you..." He looked up hopefully. Maybe...maybe now they'll play with me. Maybe I won't be alone anymore...
"Oh god, it's Gaara! Run!" The scream broke the ice of their fear, and the children all began to run.
Again...again they're scared of me. Why? Why do they hate me so much? I've never done anything to them...
"Don't...Don't run! Don't leave! Don't leave me all alone!" I'm always so alone...I don't want to be alone anymore! "Don't!" Before he'd realized it, sand had crept around the legs of the other children, dragging them back toward him. "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"
His rage and loneliness boiled over, flowing out in the form of sand. A wave of it went crashing toward the other children, the demon inside wanting their lives in payment for their cruelty.
Her father hadn't met her eyes or smiled at her since arriving in Konoha. Her mother, an ever disapproving presence, kept a close eye on her.
She sighed, looking down at her food, and her father looked up briefly in her direction. "Miyuri. It is time I began your ninja training. I will teach you, and you will become a great ninja. You will excel...I will make sure of it."
Does this mean he isn't mad at me anymore? "Thank you papa." She gave a small, hopeful smile, eyes rising to meet his.
He had long since looked back at his paper, having barely acknowledged her existence. "I may be ashamed of you, but I will make sure you will never disgrace us as you did in the sand. You must learn to be better. You WILL be better by the time you enter the academy next year."
She looked down at her food, then looked up, her face serene. "I will gladly accept your training." Her thoughts were anything but calm. Papa...you aren't the only one who is ashamed of your family for their actions in Suna. The difference is...you think I'll earn back your love in training, and you can NEVER make it up to me for taking Gaara away.
As the sand crashed down toward the children, a blond adult leapt forward to block the attack. Gaara's uncle, Yashamaru, the only person he could now trust. Yashamaru endured the attack, arms raised to block his head, before giving him a reassuring smile. "Gaara-sama, please calm down. You mustn't hurt people."
Finally the sand abated, his rage fading away in the face of the only good thing he had left. Gaara looked down, ashamed of his lack of control. No wonder people hate me. I AM a monster..."Yashamaru...Let's go home."
"Yes, let's return home." His uncle gave him a small, encouraging smile. "Everything is going to be okay, Gaara-sama." He continued to give comfort as they walked home.
Gaara lifted a knife from the table, looking at it with great sorrow in his heart. Finally he held it up, eyes sad. I hurt those people. They're even more scared of me now. I'll never have another friend...I'll always be alone.
He swallowed, then steeled himself. I hurt them...now I should be hurt. He raised the knife. I hate myself...the knife plunged down toward his hand.
Just before it hit, a wave of sand came out to guard him. "So it's no use after all..." He sighed and looked at the knife. "The sand will protect me..."
"Please don't do that, Gaara-sama. As your guard, a knife going toward you is something that it pains me to see..." He smiled ruefully. "...Though the sand will protect you." He knelt down next to Gaara. "What is wrong, Gaara-sama?"
Gaara looked down, ashamed. "I'm sorry, Yashamaru. I hurt those children...I hurt you. You're the only good thing left in my life, and I hurt you." He set down the knife. "I'm so sorry..."
Yashamaru grinned. "This?" His forearms were bruised and cut, looking painful to even Gaara's untrained eye. "This is nothing. Just a scratch. You don't have to worry about it." His smile faded and he looked at Gaara thoughtfully. "Why were you trying to stab yourself?"
Gaara frowned, not accepting Yashamaru's words. I hurt him, but he's trying to be nice to me. I don't deserve Yashamaru. "I hurt you. I hurt the other children. I wanted to know what it was like to be hurt. Because of the sand, I've never been injured." He looked up at Yashamaru, looking sad. "What is it like to be wounded?"
Yashamaru frowned, obviously searching for words. "That is a difficult thing to say. Pain is like...well, I guess you could say pain is like a bad situation. Something you want to avoid if possible." He laughed sheepishly. "I'm not good at describing things."
"Then...maybe I have been hurt." Gaara's hand came to rest on his chest. "I have never been injured, but I hurt right here. There is no wound, but I feel lots of pain." His loneliness swam in his eyes, as visible to Yashamaru as Gaara's hair.
Yashamaru smiled sadly. "There are two kinds of wounds, Gaara." He lifted the forgotten knife and nicked his finger with it. "A physical wound like this one is easy. It'll heal up in no time, and there are medicines to make it heal faster. A wound of the heart like the one you have, though...is more difficult to heal. There are ointments to fix it, and sometimes we carry their pain for the rest of our lives. But there IS a cure for wounds of the heart."
"There's a cure? I can make it feel better?" Gaara leaned forward eagerly, desperately needing to hear how to make it stop hurting.
"Yes. The cure is...love." He smiled. "And I know that someday, your wound will be healed."
Gaara met Yashamaru's eyes thoughtfully. "Love? It will cure a wounded heart?"
"Yes."
Gaara smiled, affection overshadowing the pain in his eyes. "Yashamaru...thank you. You're the only one I can count on. I love you so much."
"I love you too, Gaara."
A while later, Gaara went to his uncle. "Yashamaru...I need some medicine."
Yashamaru raised a brow, wondering why. Gaara has never been sick or injured in his life. "Medicine? Why?"
Gaara fidgeted shyly. "One of the children I attacked...she was hurt. You said medicine helps wounds heal faster. So I need some."
Yashamaru smiled, eyes crinkled as he gave him a look of pride. "Yes."
Yashamaru knelt in front of the Kazekage. "You asked for me, my lord?"
The kazekage turned away. "Yes. It's about my youngest son, Gaara."
"Yes, my lord?" Yashamaru remained kneeling, head bowed.
"As you know, he was born of an experiment. We wanted to make a weapon that Suna could use against our enemies." He turned back to Yashamaru. "That experiment...has obviously failed. My son is unable to control himself. He is a danger to the village that must be eliminated."
Yashamaru's face was expressionless, but inside of him, emotions raged. "What do you wish of me, Kazekage-sama?"
"You are to eliminate the threat. Do you understand? I want you to kill the cursed vessel Gaara."
"...My Lord...I..."
Gaara knocked on the girl's door, holding an ointment his father's healers had prepared. I hope this makes her feel better.
The door opened, and Gaara held up the medicine as the girl's fear filled eyes met his. "This is medicine." He rushed out before she could speak. "For your leg. I'm sorry I hurt you..." He offered her the medicine contritely, obviously feeling bad.
The girl's fear, for a moment, turned to hate. "Go away! You...you monster!" She slammed the door closed.
The medicine fell to the ground as Gaara began to cry. He ran back to his home, going straight to the roof, not wanting his family to see him crying.
Miyuri attacked the training dummy with a vengeance, punching and kicking and stabbing it until all of her energy was gone and a wave of fatigue flowed over her. She collapsed beside it, dragged herself up, repeated the motions until she could barely move. I...will become...strong!
Finally she collapsed from sheer exhaustion, unable to drag her body up for another session. "I guess...I can stop...for the night..." Still panting, she dragged himself up and began to limp toward her room.
"She has no talent whatsoever." Her father's voice from her parent's bedroom brought tears to her eyes. "I don't know why I ever thought she was special. I guess I was blinded by sentiment."
"It's okay, at least she no longer has you fooled. We can have more children. Don't be sad just because the first turned out to be a failure." Her mother's cruel comfort put a lump in Miyuri's throat, and the first tears began to fall.
"That's true. The Hyuuga family had a failure their first time around too, and I'm told their second daughter is everything they'd hoped for."
Miyuri snuck past to her room, not wanting to hear anymore. She cried herself to sleep, knowing it wouldn't be the last time she would do so.
Miyuri approached the other children shyly. "H-hi." The other kids watched her, mostly indifferent. Her courage faltered for a moment, but she squared her shoulders. I am a ninja! Making friends isn't that scary..."I'm Miyuri Sato. I'm from Suna, the Hidden Village of Sand. We moved to Konoha recently. I hope we can be friends."
A cold looking boy with long hair and a scarf wrapped around his forehead spoke from within the group. "If you are scared to talk to us, you won't make much of a ninja."
Another child spoke in a chastising tone of voice. "Neji! Be nice. She's just trying to make friends."
The boy met Miyuri's eyes. His were a light gray. "Then it is her fate to fail. At least as far as I'm concerned." He turned away, and the others slowly followed. Miyuri sighed, turning the other way to walk back home. It was then that she saw another boy, this one a blond. He sat watching the other children, swinging softly on a swing.
He looks so lonely. He has the same eyes as Gaara...Sad eyes. She began to walk forward until she stood in front of his swing. "Hi."
The boy looked surprised, but spoke up promptly. "Hi."
They watched each other for a while, each expecting the other to brush them off.
"I'm Miyuri Sato. Do you want to be my friend?" Her smile was brilliant, and his answering smile was just as bright.
He assumed an arrogant pose on the swing. "I am Naruto Uzumaki, the next Hokage!" He grinned. "Of course I want to be your friend." His smile faded. "If you...if you want to be MY friend?"
She hugged him with such force that he fell off the swing, and his laughter echoed throughout the town.
"So you want to be Hokage?" Miyuri was sitting next to Naruto, pressed up against his side, relaxed for the first time since Suna. In her mind, being friends meant she could hug them as much as she wanted...and she wanted to...a lot.
"Yes. When I'm Hokage, no one will look down on me! Everyone will acknowledge me with pride as the greatest ninja of the village!" His smile was wide and confident, hiding the pain beneath it. "What is your dream, Miyuri?"
"I want to be strong. Strong enough that no one can ever take someone I care about from me again." She lifted the necklace she wore, showing him the inscription. "Back in Suna, I have a very special friend. My parents didn't like him, so they forced me to move here so I couldn't see him anymore. But someday, I'll be strong enough that they can't make me do anything. I hope that when that day comes, I'll be able to see him again..."
Naruto jumped up with a grin, hitting his palm with a fist. "You will definitely see him again! Definitely! Someday, Miyuri, you'll be strong enough. You can train with me! We'll get stronger together, I promise! And I never break my promises." Unprepared for the leaping hug that she gave him, he fell over and began to laugh.
Gaara sat on the roof crying. It's never going to get better. Nothing I do will make them fear me less, only more...it's no use...I'll always...
Suddenly sand swept out to cover him, guarding him from attack. He turned to see that several knives were stuck in the sand. What...why...? He was filled with fear as he took in the threat in front of him.
The ninja before him had a headband that marked him as a ninja of Suna. His face was covered, and he was readying several more knives with ninjutsu. They floated in the front of him, ready to launch themselves at Gaara at any time.
Why...why do I have to go through this? Why is this happening to me? What...am I? Gaara finished turning, his eyes beginning to reveal the rage inside.
The ninja struck, the weapons flying towards him at great speed. The sand blocked again, and Gaara's rage began to overflow. The sand began to fly at the man with great force, hardened by chakra, striking back with all the strength of the pain and hurt Gaara was feeling.
The man fell to the ground. Gaara hesitantly stepped forward. Who...who just attacked me? He reached forward, pausing just before his hand reached the mask, but in the end he had to know. He ripped the mask from the man's face.
Yashamaru lay panting, knowing he was mortally wounded. He looked up when he heard Gaara's pained cry. He smiled. "Yes...it...is me..." His breathing was fast, but he was unable to get a full breath. It won't be long now...and I'll be with my sister.
"W-why? Yashamaru...why?!" Gaara's tears fell fast now, consumed as he was by the pain of betrayal.
Yashamaru smiled again. "It was an order." He began to fuss with his clothing.
Gaara smiled hopefully, tears still falling fast. "Then...then if it was an order...you had no choice, right? You couldn't refuse an order...right? Right, Yashamaru?" He felt a rush of relief.
"No." Gaara's eyes jumped to meet his uncle's at the answer he didn't expect. "I could have refused. Your father gave me the option to turn down the mission if I wanted."
"T-then...why? Why did you do this?!" Gaara cried out, surprised and hurt. My...father? My father ordered my death?!
"Because...deep within my heart...I've always...hated you. You, who killed my beloved sister. You, who bore the name of Gaara, were never loved by anyone. Even my sister, your mother, hated you. My sister wanted you to survive only because she hated this village. 'Love only yourself, a demon.' That is what your name means. Now..." He opened his vest to reveal that he was strapped with explosives. "Please die."
Boom.
"Miyuri! What is this we hear about you playing with ANOTHER DEMON?! I thought we made this perfectly clear in Suna. You are NOT allowed to be friends with monsters."
Miyuri sighed. "I don't know what you're talking about, mother. I only have one friend here, and as far as I know he is as human as you or I."
"Well, he isn't! Naruto Uzumaki is possessed by the nine tailed fox demon! You are not to play with him anymore, do you understand?" Her mother grabbed her arm and began to drag her toward the living room. "Kaeto! We may have to move again. Honestly, this stupid child seems incapable of befriending humans."
Her father sighed. "Is this true, Miyuri? Are you attempting to shame us again?"
Miyuri yanked her arm from her mother's grip. "I will not give up Naruto Uzumaki as you forced me to give up Gaara. Your hate may have consumed you, but it has not consumed ME!"
Her father ignored her, looking to her mother. "Do you think the Hidden Village of Mist is far enough? Or should we go farther?" He reached out to pick up Miyuri.
No! It's happening again! I'm losing a friend...again! I won't. I won't lose Naruto like I lost Gaara! She lunged forward and took the knife from her father's belt. "I will not lose another friend. I would rather die...I would rather KILL than lose another friend." She stood in the stance her father had taught her, that she had perfected through countless nights of practice while they slept. "Just try to take my friend away from me! One of us will die before I let that happen!"
Gaara had stopped crying by the time his shield of sand had fallen away. His uncle's corpse was nothing more than a bloodstain burned into the ground. Gaara's pain and his hurt, his rage and his anger, however, remained. As it sunk it suddenly what had happened, it all boiled out.
His sand began to cut into his flesh, the burn of pain feeling good compared to the bubbling hurt inside him. When he was done, the symbol for affection was carved into his forehead.
This is the only love I will ever have. "I finally understand." I am alone. I can trust no one, depend on no one..."I won't believe in anyone anymore, or love anyone. I am...alone." I'm so tired...so tired of caring...of feeling...of needing others...of people trying to kill me because they fear the fact that I exist.
Inside him, the sand demon Shukaku began to stir. I will not cease to exist!