To Retire or Not to Retire
Chapter Three
The next morning while they were walking along the beach, Jethro asked her about her meetings with the people in Tampa. She told him all about their plans, the building they had secured, the team they had in place and all the good ideas they had. She sounded very excited and Jethro was sorry he hadn't asked her about it sooner. Obviously she was already invested in their success.
"Sounds like you're really impressed with what they have going on already. When will they be up and running?"
"In about two months."
The way she answered, the rather wistful tone of her voice told Jethro there was something she wasn't saying.
"What did you leave out? There's something more to the story isn't there?"
Holly lightly punched him in the shoulder. "Do you ever stop being an investigator?"
"Not yet. Tell me."
Holly stopped walking and stepped in front of him. He was wearing a pair of swim trunks and an old ball cap. He was tan and unshaven and more relaxed than he had been in many months. And she loved him too much to imagine being away from him for a year. But, if he retired he could be here with her. No, she told herself she was not going to campaign for that. She would tell him about the offer; she never lied to him and he'd find out anyway. After all he was Gibbs.
"They want me to run the whole thing for the first year. Get them off the ground. They said they figured they could avoid a lot of first year mistakes if I'm the director since I've been managing the shelter and all the programs in DC."
"Holly, that's great."
"It would mean living down here for a year, Jethro. I don't want to be here and you in Virginia. I told them I'd think about it but I've already decided to tell them no."
"If I'm retired I can be down here too. Is that the only reason you're turning them down?"
"Yes. Jethro, you can't retire just because of this. You have to make your decision separate from what I'm doing."
"How come you get to decide something based on us and I don't?'
She didn't have an answer for that so Holly just turned and walked out a little ways into the water. Jethro had actually decided earlier; about four thirty in the morning as he lay awake staring at the ceiling, that he was not going to retire until the end of the year. Eight more months. Now it seemed he might want to modify that decision just a little bit. He could tell by her voice that Holly was interested in the idea of getting this new shelter off the ground. She would be a real asset to the people here and he didn't want to be the reason she didn't take this opportunity. He went to stand beside her and put his arm around her shoulder pulling her in close.
"How about a compromise? When do they want you to start?"
"In about two months."
"I decided sometime very early this morning that I would retire at the end of the year. That's only eight months away. If you don't start here for another two months that would mean only six months apart. You could be here and miss all the mess of the remodeling. I'll come see you, you'll come up there, we could easily make it work Holly. I probably have enough leave that I could actually be done by Thanksgiving. We could have the whole holiday season together down here if you wanted."
Holly turned around so she could see his face. He was looking at her intently with a small smile on his face. The idea of being able to take the Tampa group up on their offer and still have Jethro near most of the time was exciting. She really wanted to be in Florida but would absolutely not spend a year away from this man.
"You really decided to retire?"
"Yes. End of the year. You should take the offer Holly. We'll work out our lives together. I don't want to apart either but for a few months we could manage. The time will fly by, I promise."
Holly reached up and put her hands on the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. It was a short, no-so-subtle kiss that held the promise of more to come. Jethro wrapped her in his arms and kissed her again.
"So, does that mean you'll be living in Florida in a couple of months?"
"I guess it does. We can do this can't we? We'll go home and put the condo on the market and find the contractor you want for the house. By the time I come back that will be underway and like you said, I'll miss all the mess. You will work from your desk for a few months, take leave and then retire and we'll be together."
"Don't know about the desk part the rest of it sounds about right."
"Thank you Jethro. Thank you for helping me see this can work."
"I want you to be happy. I can tell you really want to do this and since I'm ready for a change it's good timing. Now, come on, let's finish our walk and go back for some breakfast."
The rest of their day and the next two were much like the previous four had been. They went to the beach after breakfast, read, watched the water and swam occasionally. After lunch they shared a cooling shower, made love and took a nap. It was decadent lifestyle that Jethro was pretty sure he could get used to; at least for a few months out of the year. In the evening they took long walks on the beach, went out to dinner and then back to the condo for a movie or just listening to music or the surf while they sat on the patio and enjoyed just being together.
On their last night there they were enjoying just such a late evening on the patio. The stars were bright, the moon shone on the water and the breeze was just perfect. In fact the whole night was perfect as far as Holly was concerned. Maybe too perfect she mused to herself.
"Jethro, do you ever worry that things have been too easy for us?"
"No. Don't think they have been. We've worked hard to make this work between us Holly. It didn't feel easy in the beginning. Not to me anyway."
"No I suppose not. But now, these last few months, things seem to be so good between us. I guess I'm just paranoid that something is going to happen to ruin it."
"It's not. Unless you find some beach boy you like better while I'm not here. You won't do that will you?"
"No, I'm sure that won't happen. I can't imagine finding someone I like more than I like you Jethro. But you know, we hardly ever even disagree. We never argue. I never get tired of you and you always seem to know just what I need. It all seems too good to be true."
"Geez Holly you sound like me. I'm the one who usually can't accept the good things that happen. Look, we both know what we want and we both know there are very few things worth making the other person unhappy over. We've both learned the hard way that it doesn't always have to be just the way we want it; whatever "it" is. I want you to be happy. That's a big part of what makes me happy. I don't want to hurt you or disappoint you. I don't want anymore regrets, ever."
Holly got out of her chair and pulled Jethro up out of his. She put her hands on his hips and pulled him against her. Looking up into those mesmerizing blue eyes she loved so much she wondered how she had gotten so lucky as to be in love with this man.
"Jethro, that is the sweetest thing you've ever said. I hope with all my heart that you never regret a moment we are together and just so you know, I expect that to be a very long time. Knowing that you are happy is the best feeling in the world for me. You're right, it wasn't easy in the beginning but the few struggles we had were well worth it for what we have now. I love you, Jethro. You will never have to doubt that. Not even for a moment."
It was hard to leave the next morning but they were both excited to get started on the next phase of their lives and to do that, they had to go home. Holly called Laura Bridges from the car while Jethro was driving them to the airport. She told her if the offer was still open she wanted to accept. Laura was delighted and said they would email Holly a contract but would talk to her in the next couple of days. Jethro spent most of the plane ride sketching out ideas for the house while Holly napped against his shoulder. Once again he was grateful for the extra width and space that came with first class seats.
When they got home that night they went to the condo. While they were getting ready for bed Jethro noticed Holly looking around the bedroom; taking a mental inventory it seemed to him.
"We don't have to move Holly. I can stay here most of the time and just keep the house for the basement and to have a place when you shouldn't have to put up with me."
"What? No I want to move. I'm just looking around to get an idea of changes we can make in the house. I want to move, Jethro, honestly I do. I'm excited about remodeling the house and making it a home for us."
"I want you to be sure. We moved kinda fast on that idea."
Holly stepped up into his space and put her hands on his chest, playing with the soft, curly hair there.
"You getting cold feet, lover?"
Jethro leaned down and nuzzled her neck and whispered in her ear, "not a chance. Can't wait to get you into our house and keep you there."
Holly laughed and pushed him down on the bed.
The next two weeks were a whirlwind of activity for both of them. Holly contacted a realtor friend who assured her the condo would sell quickly and for a good price. Holly was also busy arranging for different people to take over her responsibilities while she was in Florida. Although she was not the day-to-day director of the shelter in DC she was instrumental in its operation and the programs associated with it. She had a great staff though and they were more than capable of running everything in her absence.
Jethro was busy at work with two new cases the first week he was back but he managed to find time to talk to the contractor he wanted to work on the house. They met at the house one afternoon and went over everything Jethro and Holly had decided they wanted done.
"Pretty ambitious project, Jethro. What's your budget and time frame?"
Jethro and Holly had had several conversations about the costs involved in a renovation of this scale and of course, she had prevailed in her intention to pay her share. Jethro told Brian what their budget was and said they were not necessarily in a hurry.
"Can you get it done in three months if I do some stuff along the way?"
"Absolutely. Three months would be good. I'm just finishing a job in Falls Church and can start over here week after next if that's okay."
Jethro knew he could stay at the condo at least until it was sold and by that time Holly would be in Tampa. With Holly gone he could easily live in the house while the work was being done so he told Brian to plan on starting as soon as he could. Jethro had seen lots of Brian's work over the past few years and knew he was very meticulous and used only qualified workers. He knew this was going to be a huge change in his life and he was more than ready to get started. For so long he had resisted changing anything in the house but now he wanted to be able to move on with Holly and make a home and new life with her. He and Brian sealed the deal with a handshake and Jethro headed back to work excited to tell Holly things were on the move.
Everything was rocking along fine for Holly and Jethro until suddenly it wasn't. As it inevitably seemed to do, Jethro's job seemed to implode overnight and he was gone for two days, then home then gone again until Holly couldn't remember the last time they'd spent an evening together or eaten a meal or even had time to make love. Aside from a couple of quickies in the middle of night when Jethro stumbled into bed, their love life was falling apart. All that was bad enough but when Holly found a lump in her breast one morning in the shower things really began to crumble.
The discovery naturally frightened Holly and she immediately called her doctor for an appointment. She wanted to tell Jethro what was going on but she wasn't even sure where he was that day. The last she knew he was headed to Norfolk and planned to be back either the next day or the day after. She knew the case they were working on was consuming all their time and energy so she didn't want to call and talk to him about this over the phone and certainly not when he was so busy. She decided it made more sense to wait until she'd seen the doctor before she told Jethro anything. After all, maybe it was nothing.
While Holly was worrying about her discovery and anxiously awaiting her appointment, Jethro was becoming increasingly frustrated with their case. The trip to Norfolk was an almost desperate attempt to track down a lead that seemed unlikely to yield much in the way of results but they were stymied and he didn't have any other options. They had been so busy lately he knew he was neglecting his relationship with Holly but knowing and doing something about it were two different things. Almost twenty years of doing things a certain way, even when he knew that way would lead to disaster, was hard to overcome. Ever since their time together in Florida, Jethro had felt differently about where he and Holly were in their relationship. He felt committed to her, certain about what he wanted for the future and confident he could finally manage to stay with someone. The problem was he still found himself falling into old habits; staying away when he should go home, not talking about what was going on, not paying attention to the woman he loved. All the way to Norfolk he had brooded about the last week and all he knew when they got to their crime scene was that he needed to get it together before Holly was another name on his list of failures. Maybe, he thought, the fact that I know I'm screwing up is at least a good sign since I never did before. Small comfort but he'd take any positive he could find at this point.
They worked long into the night and by the time Jethro was alone it was too late to call Holly. He vowed he would call her first thing in the morning. It wouldn't have been too late to call really because Holly was awake most of the night worrying. When Jethro was looking at his watch deciding not to call, Holly was pacing the living room hoping the phone would ring. She knew she could call him but when he was working like this she didn't like to bother him. He always called anyway; when he could. Lately he hadn't been so good about that but Holly didn't let it bother her. She was more worried than upset but she knew if anything had happened to Jethro, Ducky would have called. Still, tonight she wished Jethro would remember to call.
Jethro was up at six o'clock the next morning and called Holly at six thirty. She sounded tired and he wondered if he had called too early.
"Hey, sorry if I woke you. I wanted to call last night but it was so late when we finished I decided not to. How's things?"
Holly had decided some time in the early morning hours that she was not going to tell Jethro about the lump until he was home. She didn't want him distracted at work and he couldn't do anything about it anyway from Norfolk.
"You didn't wake me. Things are okay. How's the case coming? Any progress?"
"Not much." Jethro heard something in her voice but he wasn't sure what it was. "You sure everything's alright? You sound tired or something."
"Well you know the sleeping problem I have? It's been pretty bad lately."
"Yeah, me too. Sorry about that. When I get back we'll make up for some of these missed nights. I know I've been gone too much and not really there even when I'm there. I don't want to do that."
"I know, babe." Holly could hear the worry in his voice. She knew he was always just a touch afraid something was going to tear them apart. She was determined that would not happen. "You concentrate on catching the bad guys and don't worry about me. We're fine Jethro. You and I are absolutely fine."
"Promise?"
"Of course. We're rock solid. Never doubt that I love you and I will always be here for you, Jethro, no matter what."
"Thanks. I guess I needed to hear you say it because I know I haven't been paying much attention to us lately."
"We have a lot going on that's all. Now, when will you be home?"
"Tonight I hope. If I'm not going to make I'll call you and let you know but I expect to be home tonight before too late. I love you."
"Love you back. Go catch whoever it is you're chasing and then come home. I need to see you."
There it was again. Something just a little off in her voice.
"Hey, you sure you're okay?"
Damn, he was much too good at reading her even when he wasn't there. She could never lie to Jethro in person and even over the phone it was difficult.
"I'm fine. Just tired and missing you. Go on now, I need to get ready and get to the office. Love you."
"Me too. Bye."
Something was wrong he knew it. Not between them but maybe at the office or with the condo selling or something. Jethro forced himself to let it go and went to meet DiNozzo and McGee to get the morning started and hopefully find what they were looking for. They didn't find the answers they were looking for but they had some better questions and they now knew their answers were back in DC so by four o'clock they were headed back to the Navy Yard. Jethro would be home by ten.
Holly kept herself busy at the office all day because her doctor couldn't see her until tomorrow. She kept telling herself the lump was nothing to worry about but at times she found her mind wandering down a dark road. Probably the same dark road so many women had traveled when they heard the words 'lump in the breast' or 'breast cancer'. There was no history of any such thing in Holly's family as far as she knew but she also new that didn't really matter. She knew several women who had no family history yet had been diagnosed with cancer. Just after lunch Holly was alone in her tiny office with the lights off and some music playing and she fell asleep with her head on her desk. Twenty minutes later she startled awake from a bad dream. She ran her fingers through her hair and shook herself to rid her mind of the thoughts of chemotherapy and surgery and being all alone in a hospital room. She went out for some fresh air and when she came back there were things to do and people to talk so and the afternoon flew by.
Jethro called at five thirty and said they were on their way back and he would be home no later than ten. There were leads to follow and people to track down but they had been working like crazy on this case and he was going to make sure they all got a good nights sleep tonight. Sending his team home by nine was almost early for them the way things had been going.
"Hey Boss, does she know we know about her?"
"She has a name DiNozzo. You're allowed to use it you know. And no, I haven't told her. We're kinda busy with some stuff and I forgot all about it. Why?"
"No reason. Just wondering."
He had intended to tell Holly about the team knowing they were together but when he got to Florida he didn't give his team another thought and since they'd been home he'd been preoccupied with too many other things. Jethro leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. It was rare that he wasn't driving but he was trying to turn lose of some small things before he had to let go of everything. Some days he still struggled with the idea of retiring but most of the time he was sure he was ready.
Holly got home about seven and started some dinner because she knew Jethro had most likely not had a decent meal since he left. Once the chicken was in the oven she took a quick shower and put on some comfy clothes. She was exhausted but excited to have Jethro home at a relatively decent hour. She wanted to tell him what was going on and feel his strong arms around her. Being with Jethro, Holly felt completely safe, as if nothing in the world could hurt her. Not even a lump in her breast.
Dinner was ready at eight thirty and Holly took it out of the oven, covered it with foil and then took a glass of wine to the living room. She turned on some music and got comfortable on the couch. In about five minutes she was asleep.
Jethro arrived at nine o'clock and found her stretched out sound asleep. He sat down on the edge of the couch near her hips and leaned down to kiss her. She was so sound asleep she thought she was dreaming until Jethro pulled back and kissed her on the forehead at the same time he spoke her name.
"Holly, wake up babe."
She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him. With that smile she managed to wipe away all the tension and frustration Jethro had been feeling for the past three days. She reached up and wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him back down for another kiss. This one went from slow and sweet to hot and needy in the blink of an eye. When they finally had to breathe, Jethro sat up and let his hands drift down to gently caress her breasts and his touch brought Holly back to reality with a rush. She covered his hands with hers and moved to sit up.
"You could just stay there and I'll get comfortable and we can continue."
"I'd like that but first we eat and talk and then we get back to this. Okay?"
Jethro was surprised; Holly rarely turned down sex in favor of food and almost never in favor of talking. They were very much alike in that way. Now he knew for sure something was going on.
"Whatever you say, babe. I'm glad to be home by the way."
"I'm very glad you're here. More than I can say. Dinner will be on the table in ten if you want to shower first."
"I'll do it."
Jethro stood up and reached down to pull Holly up. He pulled her right into his arms and kissed her again. When he let her breathe he held her at arms length and looked her right in the eyes. He knew in his heart something was wrong.
"Whatever it is Holly we'll work it out. Together. I love you. Whenever you're ready just tell me what it is."
He kissed her lightly on the mouth and went to take a shower. Holly stood rooted to the spot amazed again that he could read her so well and always knew how to say what she needed to hear. For a man with a reputation for not talking he made the most of what words he did use. She realized she had no interest in eating. She wanted to tell Jethro what was happening so he could make it better. She waited for a few minutes then went sit on the bed and wait for him to come out of the bathroom. When he did, wearing nothing but a towel, she could hardly keep her hands in her lap. He looked at her and figured dinner was on hold.
Jethro dropped the towel and pulled on some shorts and a tee shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair and sat down on the bed next to Holly. She was sitting on the side of the bed, one foot on the floor and the other leg tucked under her bottom. He mirrored her position and waited.
Holly took Jethro's left hand and placed it on her right breast. It's amazing really how fast our thoughts can bombard us. In just fractions of a second we can have many terrible thoughts cascade through our mind. In the back of Jethro's mind he knew. He almost stopped breathing. The look on her face told him what was coming next. This wasn't about pleasure or sex; it was about something dark and scary. Memories of his mother flashed through his mind.
"It's okay, Holly. Say it."
She never took her eyes off his face. She needed to see his reaction.
"I have a lump in this breast. I found it a couple of days ago. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I'm scared, Jethro."
He did exactly what she wanted and needed him to do; he pulled her into his arms and wrapped her in an embrace that told her she was loved and cherished and that everything was going to be alright. Tears she had been holding onto for two days suddenly broke free and wet his shirt. Jethro ran his hand up and down her back and told her over and over again, "it's going to be okay. I love you and it's going to be okay." As scared as she was and as knowledgeable as she was about the statistics, she believed him. They stayed like that on the bed holding each other for a long time. Holly needed his strength and his love and Jethro needed time to get his mind around what was happening. After all, Holly had had a couple of days to process; he had only minutes. Jethro was well acquainted with the ravages of cancer and he was determined to give Holly whatever she needed that he could give.
Finally, Holly drew some deep breaths and pulled away. She wiped her eyes and gave him a weak smile. She reached up to touch his face and he kissed her palm. For a man so tough and hard in so many ways, Jethro was also remarkably gentle when he needed to be. Holly had never been with a man so full of contradictions and yet so loving and thoughtful. Tonight she saw the love she felt for him reflected back to her in his eyes and she was grateful to have him in her life, especially now.
Jethro moved to lean against the headboard and motioned for Holly to join him. She sat cross legged near his hip and he held her hands.
"Tell me from the beginning."
She told him about finding the lump during her shower, calling the doctor and worrying for two days.
"You should have called me."
"No, you're in the middle of a case and anyway, you couldn't do much from Norfolk. You're here now and that's what matters. I don't want you distracted at work."
"Holly, you are not a distraction. Well, you are but not in that way."
She laughed just a little and that made him feel good.
Jethro's stomach growled. "Was that chicken and rice I smelled earlier?"
"Yes, you must be starving. Let's go eat and we can talk."
There wasn't all that much talking while they ate. Jethro was famished and he made short work of his dinner. They were both sorting out their own thoughts; what would the doctor say, maybe it was something minor, how would this affect them if it wasn't something simple? All those questions and more tumbled around in their heads but they didn't voice any of them out loud. They cleaned up the kitchen, put away the leftovers and then Jethro led her to couch and they settled in.
"Okay, first of all this might be nothing to worry about. Second, if it isn't then we'll deal with that together. When is this doctor's appointment?"
Holly was not surprised by Jethro's reaction but she was still overwhelmed by his support.
"I go to the doctor at nine tomorrow. I'll call you as soon as I know anything."
"No you won't. I'll be there with you."
"You're in the middle of a case. You need to finish what you're doing."
"Yes, I have a case but I also have a team working on it. And, I have a woman I love who needs me to be there with her. Right?"
"Yes. Thank you."
Jethro got up and turned on some music, dimmed the lights and held out his hand to her.
"Dance with me."
Wordlessly, Holly got up and stepped into his arms. They moved together to the music for a long time. Holly loved dancing with Jethro because he was a very good dancer for one thing but mostly because she loved the way he held her and touched her. The way he kissed her so softly and whispered sweet things in her ear.
Very quietly, Jethro spoke directly in her ear, "no matter what happens or what the doctor says tomorrow, I will always love you. I will be right here, just this close to you no matter what. You must never doubt that for even a moment."
Tears sprang into her eyes and she blinked them away. She leaned into him and wrapped herself tighter around him.
"I love you so much, Jethro."
Jethro knew she was tired so he turned off the music and the lights and led her to the bedroom. They took their time undressing each other and then they made love and held each other until they fell asleep. Sometime after midnight Holly eased out of bed and went into the bathroom. Jethro felt her leave the bed and when she didn't come back in a few minutes he got up and knocked on the door before he stuck his head in to see of she was alright.
"You okay?"
Holly was standing at the vanity looking at herself in the mirror. She was still naked. Jethro stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her resting his hands on her stomach. He rested his chin on her shoulder and met her gaze in the mirror.
"Don't borrow trouble, babe. Wait and see what we find out from the doc."
"What if…"
"It won't matter to me. It will matter but it won't change how I feel about you. I won't lie; I love how you look. You are a beautiful woman and I enjoy your body but that isn't why I love you. I love all of you inside and out."
"I know, I'm just scared."
"It's okay to be scared but don't be scared about us. About me. I meant what I said earlier; I'll be here no matter what. Come back to bed."
Holly snuggled up to him and laid her hand over his heart reassuring herself of his strong presence with her.
"Have you ever been scared Jethro? I mean really scared."
Jethro thought for a moment then he said, "Yeah, when I strapped Kelly into the car seat for the first time and got in the car to take her home. I was so scared for a few moments I couldn't start the car. Shannon and I looked at each other and it really hit me that I was taking this tiny person home with no instruction manual, no idea what to do about most things and only each other to rely on. It was pretty scary for few days actually but pretty quick we got the hang of it and it was all good after that."
"You were scared of a baby but not of being in combat, being shot at?"
"Nah, I was trained for that. I wasn't trained to take care of a baby."
Holly laughed. "I never thought of it that way but I can see how that's true."
They were quiet then for a while and Holly thought he was asleep. Then he pulled her closer and she felt him take a deep breath.
"I was scared when I came back and they were gone. Had no idea how I was going to survive without them. Didn't know who I was without them."
Holly moved closer and leaned up and kissed him on the mouth. She didn't say anything because she knew Jethro didn't expect it. He didn't want her try and "make it better". He just wanted her to know he'd been scared but now he was here, with her. He'd survived his horror and she would too. With his help.
The next morning Jethro called DiNozzo and told him to keep working the case; that he would be there when he could but not to expect him until he saw him. Then he called the Director and told him he would most likely be out for the day on personal business. That was so rare Vance didn't question it. If Gibbs needed a day it must be urgent.
There was little conversation on the way to the doctor's office. Holly held tightly to Jethro's hand until they were called back to the office. It was the beginning of a long, nerve wracking few days but in the end, just as Jethro had said, everything was alright. Holly had a needle biopsy of the lump and it was simply a benign cyst. The doctor assured her there was nothing for her to be concerned about but told her she had been absolutely correct to assume the worst and call right away. He told her it was possible she would have another in the future and that she should always call and have it checked. The underlying message was she might not be so lucky in the future. Holly called Jethro at work with the good news and they celebrated that night with pizza and beer on Jethro's back deck.
The next three weeks were frantic as Holly's time to go to Florida was drawing near. She had an offer on the condo and was set to close in forty-five days. She spent an entire weekend going through all her furniture and personal possession, making lists and deciding what to move to the house and what to get rid of. Jethro wanted to keep the sectional; he loved it and it was perfect for naps. They decided to keep the bedroom furniture but downsize to a queen bed for the guest room and buy new for themselves. Many things would to into storage during the remodeling of the house and Jethro was going to have to be in charge of getting that done after Holly left. There just was not time to do it before she needed to be in Tampa.
"I hate to leave all this plus the remodeling on your plate on top of you working."
"Got any other solution?"
"No. You are perfectly capable I know but I don't feel like I'm being much help.
"You aren't."
That earned him a friendly punch in the arm. They were sitting in the kitchen of the condo having a late supper. Jethro had been meeting with the contractor and had plans for Holly to approve. He was pleased with what Brian had come up with and the demolition work was already underway.
"I like all of this, Jethro. It is a lot though. We're basically redoing the whole house."
"I know but once it's done it will be just exactly the way we want it."
"Can Brian really do this in three months?"
"Says he can. I'll be doing some of the finish work and I'll work on weekends as I can."
"You will kill yourself working and then working on the house on weekends."
"What else am I going to do with you gone? I can't go see you every weekend. I'll be fine. Except for missing you of course."
"I'm already dreading leaving next week."
"You will be too busy to miss me. This is a great opportunity for you Holly. Besides, you won't have a place to live in a few weeks. Get down there, get settled and I'll come see you when I can. I may be able to hop a flight to MacDill once in a while. It'll be fine."
"I know. Promise you'll be careful when I'm gone. I don't want any calls from Ducky."
"I don't want him calling you either."
"That's not a promise."
"I know."
The last few days before Holly left reminded Jethro of the last days before he'd deploy. He and Shannon would spend as much time together as possible and their lovemaking was always intense those last few days. It was no less with Holly which surprised Jethro. He never compared his relationship with Holly to his marriage to Shannon; he learned that lesson about the time he had wife number two, but he knew he loved Holly in a way he had not loved anyone since Shannon.
The breast cancer scare had shown both of them just how committed Jethro was to them staying together. Holly had not doubted his love but it was good to experience the support he had given her during those scary few days. It was revelation to Jethro as well. When he thought about it later he had to admit he was pretty scared for a while at the thought of losing her. The possibility of her having cancer was even more real than the idea of a bad guy coming after her and Jethro had seen all sorts of bad things in his mind for a couple of days. It brought back lots of painful memories of his mom suffering and dying with cancer and he had had to work very hard to keep his apprehension under check.
Now things were going just fine. The condo was sold, the house remodeling was underway and Holly was set to move to Florida for a year. He was set to retire in about seven months and then they would be together. In Jethro's mind the plan was to finish out the year in Florida with Holly then come back to DC. They would live in DC but spend the worst of the winter months in Florida. He was excited about the prospect of spending more time with Holly and also spending more time on some building projects he had in mind. The idea of retiring didn't scare him like it once had. If he was still listening to the little voice in the back of his mind he might be worried that things were going too smoothly.
Holly was scheduled to fly out of DC on Sunday morning so Jethro took Friday off so they could have a couple of days together before she left. Thursday night they were at the house wandering around looking at what had been done so far. The kitchen had been gutted and a wall removed to open up the dining room. Everything that wasn't essential to Jethro living there had been packed in a storage pod. Holly's possessions were going in another pod. Jethro was basically consigned to the basement which he didn't mind at all.
"You know you could stay at the condo for a couple of weeks until the closing."
They were in what used to be a guest room but would now be part of the master suite. Holly was looking at the space Jethro had promised would be her walk-in closet. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Don't much like it there when you're not there."
"I thought you loved that condo."
"I do but if you're not there I'd rather just be here in the basement like old times."
"Don't get attached to those old times lover."
"Not a chance."
His hands were roaming and his mouth was on her throat. Holly turned in his arms and gave him a proper kiss. When she had to take a breath she kissed her way to his ear and nibbled on his earlobe.
"Let's get out of here. I want you in a bad way and there's no place for that here now."
Jethro pushed her up against the wall and pressed into her.
"Always a place for that. Can't wait until we're someplace else. Want you right now."
Jethro's mouth was assaulting her neck and his hands were under her shirt, lifting it up so he could get to her breasts. He pulled back just enough to pull her shirt and his off and then he quickly rid her of her bra. He pushed his hips against and leaned down to kiss her breasts. Holly reached for the button on his trousers and unzipped him slipping her hand in to stroke him. Jethro sucked on one nipple then the other then kissed his way back up to her mouth. Holly pushed his pants and briefs down and Jethro unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor.
Jethro pushed her panties off with one hand and then began teasing her with his fingers. He was in a hurry and he could tell Holly was right there with him. It was quick and hot and just a little bit rough and oh so satisfying. Jethro held her close as they came back to earth together. They were in no hurry now that their urgent desire had been dealt with.
"I still want you someplace a bit more comfortable."
"Me too."
Still they didn't move. They both enjoyed the feel of the other pressed impossibly close with nothing but sweat between them. Hands moved and lips caressed and Holly felt like if they didn't leave in the next ten seconds she was going to have sex on the floor. She wasn't entirely opposed to that idea but would have preferred at least a rug.
Jethro knew what was happening of course because it was happening to him.
"We need to go home babe."
"Yeah." That was all he could manage at the moment.
Holly started to laugh and when she bent down to pick up her clothes she laughed again and before long they were both laughing so hard they could hardly get dressed.
"What's so damn funny?
"I don't know. Maybe that we're having sex in a half-torn up house like we're teenagers with no other place to go when we have a perfectly nice home to go to."
"Yeah, well it happens."
"And I'm not complaining. In fact I have to say that was wonderful. But…."
"I know, you prefer a bed."
"Or at least a couch, or at the very least a rug on the floor."
"Come on, I know where there are all those things. Let's see how many of them we can use in the next two days."
"I'm betting all of them and then some."
"Damn right."
That prediction came true over the weekend when all the soft surfaces and several of the not-so-soft surfaces were made use of. They didn't leave the condo, didn't answer the phone, didn't turn on the television. Jethro had left strict instructions with DiNozzo and Ducky both that he was not to be disturbed until after five o'clock on Sunday unless it was a life and death emergency. Anyone already dead did not merit his attention. He figured Tony would have to handle things on his own pretty soon anyway so this would be good practice.
Finally after they had a late breakfast on Sunday, Holly packed her last bag and Jethro carried it to the door. She had one outfit left out and that was what she was going to wear on the plane. At the present time she was wearing a pair of Jethro's boxers and a tee shirt that was also his. It was all she'd had on since they got home after their impromptu christening of the walk-in closet. She was laying on the bed when Jethro came back in.
"Do you think we've had enough sex to hold us until one of us can visit?"
"The words "enough" and "sex" don't go together, Holly. At least not where the two of us are concerned. But, when you walk out that door in a couple of hours you will be on a no sex restriction until I see you again. And I will be on the same restriction."
"Yes, you most certainly will be. Just out of curiosity how long is the longest you've ever gone without sex? Since you started I mean, not the years before you started."
She was grinning at him in such a mischievous, sensual way he could barely swallow much less answer. He leaned over her, his hands on the bed on either side of her head. He kissed her very softly on the mouth.
"I was deployed overseas for months at a time remember. Was on a ship in the Med for six months one time. So, I can go a long time without it."
He kissed her again a little more forcefully this time. His eyes were memorizing every inch of her face as his mouth ghosted over her jaw and down her throat and then back to her mouth for a more serious, breath stealing, toe curling kiss.
"How about you?"
Holly had to take a moment to catch her breath. She placed her hands on his face and looked him in the eyes. She was going to miss doing that. Among other things.
"Before you and I got together I had been on a sort of self imposed hiatus. I had not been with a man for almost a year when I met you."
Jethro couldn't hide the surprise on his face.
"Hmmm, that explains it I guess."
"Explains what?"
"Well Holly when you and I first got together it was pretty intense if I remember right."
"Yes it was but that didn't have anything to do with how long I had been abstinent. It had to do with you, Jethro. If I had been with another man it would not have been like it was with you."
"Really?"
Holly ran her hands up under his shirt and pulled him down onto the bed with her. She moved aside so she could be on her side and Jethro was on his back. She propped her head on her left hand and her right hand stayed under his shirt playing with his soft, curly chest hair.
"Jethro you are the most passionate man I have ever known. You are so intense but so thoughtful at the same time it takes my breath away. I was blown away by how gentle you can be and at the same so demanding and so generous with your love. I was attracted to you from the very first time we met, I think you know that. That sort of instant, physical attraction doesn't necessarily always lead to something nice but in this case it certainly did. More than nice obviously."
"But you never thought we'd end up like this did you? I mean, together in a serious relationship?"
"No, I didn't expect that. I didn't expect to fall in love with you."
She leaned over and kissed him. There were so many things she wanted to say to Jethro before she left but she didn't want it to be a sad, difficult afternoon.
"Me either. But I'm glad you did. And I'm glad I fell in love with you."
"Jethro, I don't want to make this a difficult parting but may I ask you a question about Shannon?"
"Sure."
"How did you and she come to accept the long separations?"
Jethro was quiet for a moment and Holly could almost see the wheels turning in his mind. He closed his eyes and she imagined him picturing Shannon in the house they were currently remodeling; standing in the doorway telling him goodbye. She had no idea how women did that but she knew millions had done it over and over through the years knowing they might never see their men again.
"It was what we had always done. She knew I was happy in the Corps and she knew that was my job. It was harder on her than on me I'm sure. She worried about me getting wounded or killed and I was worrying about her dealing with bills and the house and all that everyday stuff. After Kelly was born it was harder for me to leave. I missed a lot of her growing up. It's hard to explain. It's just what we did. I was a Marine and I was doing something we both believed in but it was damn hard."
"I'm not comparing what we're doing now with what you and Shannon went through of course. I was just thinking about that this morning and I had to ask. I admire her and all the women who stayed home waiting. I don't know if I could do it."
"They say the toughest job in the Corps is being a Marine wife. I think that might be right. The homecomings were sure great though."
He was trying to lighten the mood and Holly was glad.
"Want to know what I'll miss the most besides the sex of course?"
"Yep."
"Watching you shave. Snuggling with you on the couch. The smell of you and the way you try to sneak up on me all the time and scare me."
"Try? I succeed in sneaking up on you, you mean. I'm going to miss watching you get dressed. And undressed. Holding your hand in the car. Your back rubs."
Jethro glanced over at the clock beside the bed and then rolled over and pinned Holly to the mattress with his body. Talking was over for a while.
They made love one more time; slow and all-consuming. Jethro hated the idea of being away from Holly for a couple of months but he was resigned to it. He knew he would be plenty busy between NCIS and the house and he knew Holly would be busy as well. He wanted her to be so busy the weeks flew by.
By the time they showered and dressed it was time to leave for the airport. Holly took a last look around; the condo would sold before she came back so this would be the last time she saw it. The movers were coming tomorrow for the furniture and boxes she had packed for storage. The closing would be done electronically thanks technology and very cooperative realtors.
On the way to the airport Holly went over everything in her head for the umpteenth time. She was confident Jethro could handle all the details but she was loathe to leave things in the hands of another person; even Jethro.
"There is so much to do Jethro, are you sure you want to deal with all this?"
"What are you talking about? Your stuff will be picked up tomorrow and put in a storage pod and moved to the storage yard to sit next to all my stuff in another pod. All I have to do is watch the guys load it up. I think I can manage that."
"I know. I just hate loose ends and I feel like I'm leaving lots of things undone."
"Is everything organized and delegated at your office?"
"Yes."
"Are you comfortable with Lauren running things?"
"Of course, she does most of the time anyway."
"Then there are no loose ends. You need to concentrate on getting settled in Tampa and getting things just as organized there as they are here."
"Okay. You make it sound so easy."
"It won't be easy but you like a challenge. You picked me after all."
"So true!"
TBC