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To Retire or Not to Retire

Chapter Six

The next two days were more of the same with a lot of frustration and waiting for information from other parts of the globe. Jethro spent most of his time looking for Luke; talking to his friends at school and scouring teen hangouts trying to get a clue as to where he had disappeared to. They found a trailer where the Calling leader had been staying but there were few useful clues there. Finally on Thursday, late in the evening, came the break they had been working for. McGee and Abby traced the Calling to Iraq and Dorneget's mother spoke to some sources there who said several American teens had been seen in a particular town. McGee sent the CIA contact photos of Luke and after a couple of hours they had confirmation that Luke was there.

Director Vance and Jethro were in MTAC when they got the word that Luke had been seen in Iraq. They exchanged looks and Jethro stood up.

"Take DiNozzo with you. And Jethro, watch your six."

"Will do."

Arrangements were made for Jethro, Tony and Agent Teague to fly to Iraq the next morning. Jethro got home about eleven o'clock and knew he should call Holly and let her know what was happening. He wouldn't have time in the morning and he knew if he went to Iraq without her knowing it she would be very unhappy. He had a bad feeling about this trip; in fact about the whole case and he couldn't seem to shake it. Jethro trusted his gut feelings above almost everything else and his gut had been telling him for days that something was very wrong.

Jethro threw some clean underwear and shirts in his pack along with his travel bag of toiletries then he sat down on the bed to make the call. The phone rang four times and he was sure he was waking Holly up.

"Jethro, hi. Are you alright?"

"We seem to start out a lot of conversations with that question. Yes, I'm fine. Sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't. I am sitting on the porch listening to the surf. Wishing you were here with me."

"That would be wonderful. Won't be much longer and I'll be there every day and night. You'll get sick of having me around."

"Unlikely. What's up, babe?"

"Wanted to let you know I'm going to Iraq in the morning. We found Luke and some other kids there."

Holly held her breath for a moment. She, like Jethro, trusted her gut and it had been screaming at her for the last several days. Something in his tone of voice the last few times they'd spoken had told her that Jethro was worried about this case and that it is was almost overwhelming them. The idea of him being in Iraq scared the hell out of her.

"Holly, you there?"

"Yes, just digesting your news. You have to do this I guess."

"Yeah. Gotta find that kid and get him home. There are others there too. Kids whose parents are waiting for them to come home."

"This scares me, Jethro. I'm sorry to say that to you but it does."

"I understand. Tony will watch my six. It'll be fine and we should be back in two or three days. We'll reschedule our weekend. In fact, when I get back and it's all wrapped up I'll come down there for a week. Okay?"

"Of course. I want you to concentrate all your energy and thoughts on the job at hand. Absolutely do not worry about me and my worries. Just take care of business like you always do and come home."

"That's the plan. This will be the last one, Holly. Last big case I mean. Most likely anyway."

"I know. What time do you leave tomorrow?"

"Oh six hundred flight. That's why I wanted to call tonight; won't have time tomorrow. I love you Holly. I'll see you in a week or so."

"I love you too. Tell DiNozzo I'll be all over him if he lets anything happen to you."

"Nothing is going to happen. Don't worry."

"I will but I worry every day anyway. Jethro, remember I love you really a lot."

"That's what I like to hear. And I love you a lot more. Night, babe."

"Night lover. See ya soon."

Nine hundred miles apart Jethro and Holly sat holding their phones and thinking about each other. Both of them had a sense of foreboding they couldn't shake. Jethro thought his gut was telling him something bad was going to happen to the kids; to Luke in particular. He wasn't so worried about himself. He might have some vague idea in the back of his mind that this case was going to turn out badly but he thought mostly that was about Luke; only a very small part of his psyche could acknowledge that he was concerned for his own safety. He did have Mike in his subconscious admonishing him to be careful; to watch his six and be ready for something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Holly sat on the porch for a long time thinking about Jethro and trying to push back on the fear that was creeping into her soul. Ever since that day almost two years ago when she had admitted to herself that she loved Jethro she had worried about him every day. She knew his job was dangerous and that he always put himself in the line of fire first to protect his people and she never forgot that he might not come home some night. She didn't sit home and wring her hands but she would admit that some part of every day she thought about Jethro's safety on the job. After the first few months they were together she had told Jethro how she worried about him. He listened very patiently and then told her she would have to find a way to put that idea out of her mind or she would go crazy. He spent a long time talking about how they worked as a team and always had a plan and never put themselves in unsafe situations if they could avoid them. She listened and nodded in all the right places and then told him she would worry if she wanted to and for him to just be extra careful or she would be really, really angry at him for getting hurt. Then, as she recalled, she had taken him to bed and made love to him to remind him exactly why he needed to be extra careful and come home to her every night. He had said he would remember the incentive and always do his best.

Jethro knew he wouldn't go to sleep but he stretched out on the bed anyway. He thought about Holly sitting in a rocking chair on the porch in Florida listening to the waves coming and going and he ached to be with her. He didn't want to leave tomorrow but he knew he had to. He wanted to bring Luke home and he wanted to stop the monster who was poisoning teenagers like Bradley and Luke. He wasn't going to leave it for DiNozzo and McGee to do after he was retired; he would take care of it and then he could leave with a clear conscience. He wanted years and years with Holly. He wanted days on end with nothing to do but spend time with the woman he loved. He wanted to be able to just sit and watch her in their house. Jethro never expected to love again after Jenny's death; he knew at the time she had been his last chance. Even though they were miles apart both literally and emotionally, when she died he still loved her and he had believed they would eventually get back together. Her death had rocked him to the core and he resigned himself to living alone the rest of his life.

Then Holly Snow appeared in his interrogation room one day and things changed. It took a while but once she started after him Jethro was not about to get away from her. Not that he tried very hard; or at all for that matter. It had taken him untold bottles of bourbon, three boats and many years to look at himself and really understand that he had tried for years and years to replace Shannon when that was never going to be possible for so many reasons. The primary reason was that he was not the same person Shannon had fallen in love with; he was no longer the sweet, tough young man who missed his mom and longed for his father's approval. Gone was the almost reluctant Marine who so easily let a young, intuitive, beautiful girl into his heart on that train station platform so long ago. He was still tough and he still missed his mom but after losing his family he was cold and guarded and he never truly his heart away again until Jenny showed up on his team. That brought its own brand of heartache and he shut down even more after Paris.

But now he had Holly in his life and he was happy. He cared about her happiness, he didn't want to disappoint her and he trusted her. Looking forward was now what his life was about; not looking back. The only thing missing in his life as far as he was concerned was children. Jethro had loved being a father and he and Shannon had planned at least one more child after Kelly. The death of his little girl had been so devastating that Jethro had never had the courage to consider another child. None of his subsequent marriages had really lent themselves to children anyway. He had spent too long afraid to risk loving another child and now it was too late. Holly had asked him about it once and they had spent hours talking about Kelly and why he never fathered another child. Jethro had asked her if she wanted children. Her response was yes, she had at one time but as the years flew by and she didn't find her true love she realized it was not to be for her. Holly had been married once but only very briefly and she said she was thankful in some ways a child had not come during that marriage. She was not too old to have a child now but it would be risky given her age and the fact it would be a first pregnancy. They talked long into the night about the possibility and they reluctantly agreed bringing a child into their lives was not really what they wanted.

To his surprise, Jethro did fall asleep for about three hours. He woke at three thirty, took a shower and went downstairs for his first cup of coffee. Following a practice begun just before his very first deployment, Jethro got out paper and pen and wrote a goodbye letter. Each time Jethro went overseas as a young Marine he had written a letter to Shannon to be opened by her in the event he was killed. Obviously, that hadn't happened and at the end of each deployment Jethro had burned the letter just before he got home. As he folded this particular letter and slipped it into an envelope he said a silent prayer that he would be burning it in a few days. He had always taken his letters with him knowing they would be found and returned to Shannon along with all his other personal items. This trip was different though. He wasn't sure exactly where they were going or who would be there with them. It seemed a risk to take it with him so he decided to leave it with Ducky for safekeeping. Jethro found an old manila envelop in the drawer and put his letter inside and wrote Ducky's name on the outside. He would retrieve it when they got home and then burn it in the fireplace.

At four thirty an agent in a agency car pulled into the driveway and Jethro left the house with his pack on his shoulder, coffee cup in hand. He tossed the pack in the backseat and slid into the passenger seat in front. He laid the manila envelop on the seat and asked the young agent driving if he would take it back to the Navy Yard for him and see that Dr. Mallard got it. Of course the driver was glad to do so. Jethro settled back and closed his eyes. It was going to be a long difficult day.

Holly was up about the time Jethro was boarding the plane. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he stepped off to the side letting DiNozzo go ahead of him.

"Hey, you just caught me. We're on our way in a minute."

"I just wanted to tell you I'm coming home today. I decided to wait for you there instead of here. Don't worry, I'm fine. I just want to be home when you get back. I love you, Jethro. Be safe and good luck."

"I'm glad you'll be here. I love you too. Gotta go. Thanks for calling."

Jethro spent the day getting to Iraq and Holly spent the day packing and catching a flight to DC. She took a cab home arriving about seven thirty in the evening. The house was much too quiet without Jethro but at least she could sense him there. She knew she would go crazy in Florida thinking about him being in Iraq and she'd feel better waiting for him in their own home. This way she could at least sleep with his scent all around her even if his arms weren't. Holly called Ducky just after she got home to see if he had heard anything.

"Dr. Mallard here."

"Ducky, hello it's Holly. I'm sorry to bother you. I was wondering if you heard anything about Jethro before you left the office today."

"No, my dear I'm afraid not. I expect we, or the Director I should say, will hear from them in the morning." As he spoke to her Ducky couldn't help but think about the manila envelop he had locked in his desk drawer at the Navy Yard.

He continued, "I will be glad to call you if I get any news. Are you still in Florida?"

"No, right now I'm home. I decided to wait for Jethro here. Do you have any idea how long they will be gone?"

"Not really. They know where to look for the boy but who knows how long it may take to get results. I think Jethro expected to be gone only a few days at the most however."

"Yes, that's pretty much what he said. This is a first for me, Ducky and I'm scared."

Ducky could hear the anxiety in her voice and he sympathized with her. It was always difficult when people you care for are in harms way. He was well aware that Holly loved Jethro and vice versa. Again the envelope holding Jethro's letter to Holly came to his mind. He wanted to say something to help ease her mind but the fact was Ducky was very anxious about this mission as well.

"I understand. This is nerve racking for each of us but we must trust that Jethro and Tony know what they are doing and they do it very well. They will watch each other's backs. I will call you as soon as I hear something tomorrow."

"Thank you Ducky. I'm sorry to be such a bother."

"You are no such thing, my dear. You are the woman Jethro loves and I am happy to know you are at home waiting for him. Does he know you're here?"

"Yes, I caught him just as he was boarding the plane this morning. Thank you Ducky. I look forward to hearing from you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Holly. Try not to worry."

True to his word, Ducky called Holly the next day told her Jethro and Tony and Agent Teague had arrived safely in Iraq. They had met with a contact who was going to take them that afternoon to the area where the American teenagers had been seen. He assured her he would keep her informed.

Holly spent the morning puttering around the house. She unpacked a couple of boxes of odds and ends they hadn't gotten to before and tried not to be constantly listening for the phone to ring. In the afternoon she went for a long walk then to the grocery store. After some dinner she tried television but nothing looked interesting so she went to the basement to see what Jethro had been working on. He had mentioned building a toy box for Amira and it seemed he had made a good start so far. She settled on the couch for a while trying to relax and calm the churning in her gut. She thought about all the women who had waited for husbands or lovers to come home from war and she couldn't imagine how they managed to get through months and months of the waiting. Jethro wasn't technically in a war zone but she was a basket case anyway. Holly shook herself and went upstairs determined to get it together.

She took a long bubble bath and went to bed about midnight. She fell asleep quickly but at four twenty she woke suddenly with a terrible feeling of dread. Thinking she had had a bad dream, Holly turned on the lights and got up. She listened intently and didn't hear anything unusual in the house so she was sure she had been dreaming. The house alarm was set and Holly told herself she had just had a bad dream and everything was alright. Still, she was now wide awake so she went downstairs to get a drink. She turned on the television just to have some noise in the house. With a glass of water she settled on the couch and found an old movie to watch. Her mind was full of thoughts of Jethro and she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Holly was a very practical, tough-minded woman and she didn't give much credence to the idea of cosmic connections or whatever it was that make people think they could feel when another person was in trouble or hurt. Nevertheless, she couldn't rid her mind of the idea that something had happened to Jethro.

In a dusty, crowded square in a small town seven time zones away something had indeed happened to Jethro. He and Tony and Agent Teague had located the American teens and Jethro was following a young girl. Tony was behind him when his phone rang and he stopped to answer while Jethro continued on. The girl disappeared into a crowd but Jethro heard his name called and turned to see Luke standing not fifteen feet away.

"Luke."

Then he saw the boy had a gun raised and pointed at him. Instinctively, Jethro reached with his right hand for his own weapon but he hesitated. He's only a boy. I can't shoot him. He's only a boy.

That hesitation cost him dearly. Luke fired once hitting Jethro in the left thigh right above his knee. Jethro stumbled and as he was falling Luke fired again hitting Jethro in the chest. The boy melted into the crowd and Jethro fell back onto the dusty ground gasping for breath and trying but failing to comprehend what had just happened.

Tony heard the shout of Gibbs' name followed just seconds later by two gunshots. He turned in the direction of the sound and was shocked to see his boss falling to the ground, a red stain blooming on his shirt. He wasted no time getting to Jethro's side and what he saw was not encouraging. There was a lot of blood from both wounds but of course the chest wound scared him the most.

In his head he was screaming, "Shit, shit, shit, this cannot be happening!" Tony skidded to a stop and fell to his knees, jerking off his shirt to try and stop the bleeding from the chest wound.

"Boss, Boss, hang on. We'll get you some help. Stay with me."

Jethro knew he'd been shot of course and he knew it was bad. He didn't feel much but he was having trouble breathing and there was certainly plenty of pain. He heard Tony talking to him, shouting really although it wasn't very loud to Jethro. His immediate thought was about Holly. He had so wanted to spend a long time with but in that moment, lying in the dirt in Iraq, he was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen.

Agent Teague appeared on Jethro's other side and said she had called for some assistance that would be there in minutes. She wrapped her scarf around Jethro's leg then handed her jacket to Tony to use in addition to his shirt that was now soaked with Jethro's blood.

"Agent Gibbs can you hear me? Blink if you hear me."

Jethro tried to focus on her face and he blinked twice.

"Good. Help is on the way. I need you to look at me, focus on me and don't think for a moment you're going to die because you're not. Understand?"

Jethro blinked at her again. He wasn't so sure she was right but he blinked anyway. He tried to take a breath but it was getting harder and harder. He desperately wanted to say something to Tony though so he moved his hand and tried to pull Tony toward him. Jethro tried to talk but Tony couldn't hear him so he bent down with his ear right above Gibbs' mouth.

Jethro spoke into Tony's ear, "Tell Ducky go to Holly. Quick. Don't want…see…on tv."

Jethro looked directly into his senior agent's eyes and pleaded with him to understand. DiNozzo didn't fail him.

"Got it Boss. Have Ducky go see Holly so she doesn't see anything about this on the news. I'll call him as soon as we get you some help."

"You in charge, Tony."

"Only for a while. You'll be fine, Boss."

Jethro couldn't hold on any longer. He closed his eyes and let the darkness that had been lingering at the edges of his mind sweep him away. He was shutting down and he no longer heard Tony and Agent Teague imploring him to stay with them. He didn't hear the medics that showed up and didn't feel anything when they loaded him on a stretcher and into the back of a makeshift ambulance.

Tony was beside himself. He was supposed to have the Boss' back and he hadn't. How could he have let this happen? If Gibbs died Tony was never going to forgive himself and he would never stop looking for that damn kid and the man running him. Agent Teague managed to get Tony in a car with her and they followed behind the ambulance.

"Where are we going?"

"To the airfield. There's a chopper there waiting for us. They'll take Gibbs and us to a carrier in the Gulf."

"How did you manage that?"

"It was always our exit strategy. Just had to be a bit quicker than we expected."

"Who are those guys with Gibbs now?"

"One of them is a trauma doc. He'll get Gibbs as stable as possible under the circumstances. Hopefully, stable enough to get him to the carrier where there is a trauma surgeon."

Tony didn't ask anymore questions. Of course he knew Agent Teague was CIA but he hadn't known she had all this stuff in place. He couldn't think right then anyway. Tony had seen lots of gunshot victims and what he saw from the Boss didn't look good. He looked down at his hands and saw the blood dried there. He didn't want to think about Gibbs dying but he just didn't see much chance of survival under these circumstances.

The next hour was all a blur to Tony and was totally lost for Jethro who was unconscious and barely clinging to life by the time he was loaded onto the helicopter for the ride to the carrier. By the miracle of modern wartime medicine, Jethro was alive but not by much. Tony never took his eyes off his Boss once they were in the air and what he saw scared him more than anything ever had. Even when Gibbs was in a coma after being blown up on that ship he looked more alive than he did now. There were IV's in place and oxygen and the bleeding was stopped; at least what they could see. Tony knew internal damage from a gunshot was the real problem and he was sure Gibbs was still bleeding internally. All Tony could think of was all the bodies he has seen on Ducky's autopsy table with wounds pretty much just like what his Boss had. He knew he was going to have to call Director Vance as soon as they landed and give him the bad news. Tony was glad he wasn't going to be the one to tell Abby about this.

The mission to Iraq was not widely known so there was no one who knew what had happened to Jethro until they landed on the carrier and Agent Teague and Tony had a chance to talk. Jethro was taken directly to an operating room where a Navy trauma surgeon was waiting to perform what they hoped would be life-saving surgery. Gibbs had not regained consciousness by the time they landed and Tony wondered if he had heard his leader's voice for the last time.

Agent Teague and Tony were taken to the communications center so they could contact NCIS. It was now just after six o'clock in the morning in DC and Tony wondered if the Director was at the Navy Yard yet. He tried there first and was told the director was not in yet. Next he called Director Vance's cell phone. The Director was in his car, in morning traffic and very glad he had a driver. When his phone went off and he saw who was calling he knew immediately his day not going to go well.

"DiNozzo, what's going on?"

"Gibbs has been shot. We're on a carrier in the Gulf. He's in surgery but it doesn't look good Director."

"What the hell happened?'

"We saw some kids and Gibbs was trailing a girl, he talked to her but then she disappeared and the next thing I knew Luke was standing there shooting Gibbs. He called his name, Boss turned around and the kid shot him twice. Got him in the leg and the chest. We got here pretty quick but he lost a lot of blood. He lost consciousness pretty quick and hadn't woken up by the time we got here."

"Are you alright, Di Mezzo?"

"Not shot if that's what you mean."

"It wasn't. What's your plan?"

"Wait to see if Gibbs makes it first. If he doesn't, I'll bring him home." Tony had to stop and take several deep breaths at that point. Saying it out loud like that made the possibility too real and Tony couldn't say anything else. He handed the phone to Agent Teague so he could compose himself.

"Director, it's Joanna. We got him out fast and there was a trauma doc with him within minutes. I'm hopeful, but DiNozzo's right, it doesn't look particularly good."

Vance had to take a moment himself before he answered. He and Gibbs had had their differences over the years and he had taken over the Director's job under the most difficult of circumstances but he had the utmost respect for Jethro and considered him a friend.

"Okay, tell DiNozzo to stay put just like he said. If Gibbs dies he's to bring him home as soon as can be arranged. We'll worry about the kid later. Joanna, what is your next move?"

"Obviously, I'll stay here until we know the outcome of this. I'll get with our people and see how we want to proceed. I think DiNozzo was on the phone with the leader when Gibbs was shot. It was all very well planned just like the rest of this bastard's work. I don't want to lose the trail but I know DiNozzo needs to go back if Gibbs doesn't make it; that's a given."

Tony motioned that he needed the phone back. He needed to pass along the message to Ducky.

"Director, Gibbs only said one thing and that was for Ducky to go see Holly and tell her about this before she sees it on some news show. I don't think we'll be on the news but he was very adamant that Ducky see her in person, and quickly."

"I'll take care of it. Listen Tony, you know Gibbs is tough and he's a fighter. If this surgeon is any good, and I suspect he is or he wouldn't be where he is right now, Gibbs has a fighting chance to make it. You hang onto that and don't give up hope. I'll call Ducky right away and you call me as soon as you know anything."

"I will Director."

Holly had fallen into a restless sleep on the couch with the movie channel droning on in the background. At six thirty she sat up and took a moment to realize where she was and why. She felt as tired as she had when she went to bed and she still had an ominous feeling about Jethro. She turned off the television and went upstairs to brush her teeth and take a quick shower. Her plan was to call Ducky at seven and find out if he knew anything about Jethro.

As soon as he hung up from DiNozzo, Director Vance called Ducky.

"Dr. Mallard here."

"Doctor, it's Leon. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Jethro's been shot in Iraq."

"Oh no. Is he alive?"

"According to what I know, just barely. DiNozzo said Gibbs said only one thing after he was shot and that was to ask you to go talk to Ms. Snow personally as soon as possible. I think he was afraid she might see something on television about a shooting of an American. I doubt this will be on the news but nevertheless I wanted you to know that is his request."

"Yes, of course, I'll go to the house now. Do you have any details, Director?"

"DiNozzo said the kid, Luke, shot Gibbs twice, once in the leg and then in the chest. He's on a carrier in the Gulf. There's a Navy trauma surgeon working on him. Agent Teague agreed with DiNozzo that it doesn't look particularly hopeful. Let's hope they're wrong."

"Yes, indeed. Alright, I will go to Gibbs' house and see Ms. Snow. I will likely stay with her until we hear something more definitive. Mr. Palmer can handle whatever comes in while I'm away."

"Very well. I'll keep you posted Doctor."

Ducky hung up and slumped down in his chair. He thought about the letter in his desk and said a fervent prayer he wouldn't have to retrieve it in the near future. He took a few moments to calm his emotions and then, shrugging on his coat he went out to deliver the news to Holly.

On the drive over Ducky asked God to please spare his friend who only recently had found such happiness in his life. He thought about all the work on the house, the plans for his retirement and the way Jethro's face lit up when he talked about Holly and their love for each other. He just couldn't imagine his friend not returning home to enjoy that life and love for years to come. The idea of Jethro's body on his autopsy table made Ducky almost physically ill. He quickly banished that visual from his mind and concentrated on being a support to Holly for the next hours or however long they would wait for news.

When Holly was dressed she made the bed then went downstairs to make coffee. She stepped to the front windows and opened the blinds to let in the early morning light. What she saw made her breath catch. Ducky was pulling into the driveway in his tiny little car. As he got out she saw him take a deep breath and square his shoulders before he turned toward the house. It wasn't two Marines in their dress uniforms with a chaplain alongside but to Holly, in that moment, it was the same thing. For an instant she thought about just not answering the door. She closed her eyes tightly, counted to five and opened them and there was Ducky walking up to the front door.

Before he could knock Holly opened the door. There were tears in her eyes and when Ducky removed his hat and looked at her she saw the distress on his face that all but confirmed her worst fears.

"Please tell me he's not dead. Please Ducky."

"He's not dead."

Ducky hoped with all his heart he was telling the truth and not just passing along old information that he would shortly have to correct.

Holly took a breath and stepped back allowing Ducky into the house. He immediately took her in his arms and she clung to him. After a moment, Holly stepped back and taking his hand led Ducky to the couch.

"Tell me."

"Jethro has been shot. He is grievously wounded from what I've been told. He is in the hands of a Navy trauma surgeon on an aircraft carried in the Persian Gulf. That, I'm afraid is all I know at the moment. Except that his one and only concern was that you hear this news from me and not the television."

Holly just sat there stunned and trying to comprehend the news. A hundred thoughts were swirling in her head but she couldn't think of a single thing to say. Her first thought was that she wanted to see Jethro but of course she knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

Ducky waited for her to get her bearings. He wasn't sure what else to tell her because he truly had so little information. He simply waited, holding Holly's hand and offering the comfort of his presence.

Finally Holly asked, "When did this happen?"

"I'm not sure. I only just learned about it from Director Vance less than an hour ago. I came straight here. I believe it must have been very early in the morning our time."

Holly knew then pretty much when it had happened.

"Probably about four thirty this morning I'd guess."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because that's when I woke up suddenly, very fearful and restless. I've had a bad feeling about this trip ever since Jethro told me he was going. As I said, I bolted awake shortly before four thirty this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I've been down here on the couch until about an hour ago. Oh Ducky, I don't know what I'll do without him."

"Don't get ahead of yourself."

"Tell me everything you know. Please."

"It seems the boy they were looking for, Luke, shot Jethro. In the leg and the chest. They got help very quickly and as I said he's on a carrier where they have a trauma surgeon."

"Can they treat him on a ship?"

"Absolutely. An aircraft carried has a fully equipped operating room and very qualified doctors and nurses on board. He is in good hands I assure you. He's a fighter, Holly. Oftentimes survival from this kind of trauma depends in large part on willpower. Jethro has a strong will and he has someone he wants to come home to so I expect he will fight as hard as he can. If this had happened before you came into his life I wouldn't be so optimistic. But, if it comes down to his will to live, Jethro will survive. I'm sure of it."

"I hope you're right Ducky. What about Tony? Is he alright?"

"He wasn't injured. I'm sure he's beside himself about this though. That young man is much like Jethro; he takes his responsibilities very much to heart. I won't be surprised if he's not blaming himself right now even though I'm sure he had no chance to prevent this from happening."

Ducky was exactly right; Tony was blaming himself. He was pacing up and down the hallway outside the operating room where an entire surgical team was trying it's best to save Jethro's life. It seemed to Tony they had been in there forever but it had actually been only just over an hour. He wanted the door to open and someone to tell him what was happening but on the other hand he told himself as long as the door stayed closed they were still working and Gibbs was still alive.

Joanna Teague found Tony still pacing almost an hour later. Nearly two hours of surgery and still there was no word.

"I just spoke to my contact in Iraq. They have eyes on the boy and several other teens. So far no sight of the leader but he's close by. I'd bet on it."

"He was there. He was watching while he kept me on the phone. That's why this happened. I should have been with Gibbs. I should have covered him and then I could have gotten the kid before he shot Gibbs."

"Would you have shot the boy?"

"Damn right I would have. I could have at least distracted him; taken his aim off the Boss. I sure as hell wouldn't have let him put two rounds in him."

"I know. Look, once Gibbs is out of surgery and stable I think we need to get back on this kid's trail. My guys can keep him in sight and we need to grab him up and get him the hell back home. You going to be up for that?"

"Of course. Have you talked to Vance?"

"No, I thought we should wait until you have some news for him. Then see how he wants you to proceed."

"You're going after these guys no matter what, right?"

"The bastard killed my son. Now he's gotten a child to very nearly kill your boss. Yes, I'm going after him. I want you with me."

"I'll be there."

Much like DiNozzo, Holly was pacing with nervousness and anxiety. She and Ducky had each had a cup of tea and now Holly was in the backyard walking back and forth trying to keep a positive thought and remain optimistic. It was killing her to be so far away and unable to offer Jethro any comfort. She hoped Ducky was right that Jethro would fight to be able to come home but she also knew there was an alternative possibility. Jethro had told her about the time he had almost drowned with Kelly's friend, Maddie in the car. He described for her how he had "seen" and "heard" both Shannon and Kelly and how they urged him to go back to the land of the living. The night they talked about that, Jethro told her the desire to stay with them had been almost overwhelming. He said it would have been very easy for him to just let go and drift off. Now she wondered if the pain and the struggle would be too much; if Jethro would find the comfort of his late wife and child too enticing to turn down. After all, she could only imagine that coming back from such an horrific wound would be difficult to say the least. If Jethro survived the surgery she imagined he would have long days of pain and hard work ahead of him. She prayed as she paced and asked God to please keep Jethro alive and give him the strength to come back to her.

Holly sat down on the deck and looked at the hot tub. She let her mind drift back to the wonderful times she and Jethro had shared there and prayed with all her heart they had more good times ahead of them. Her gaze wandered over the backyard; the trees Jethro and Shannon had planted so long ago, the spot where Kelly had her swing set and sandbox. There were so many happy memories here for Jethro and they were only beginning to create their own memories. She just couldn't imagine all their plans and dreams for the future were going to be shattered by a misguided young boy.

Holly Snow was a very strong and resilient woman. She had built a business from the ground up with no help from anyone. She was beautiful, powerful and a brilliant businesswoman. If she had made her money in a more conventional business she would undoubtedly be held in the highest regard by the rich and powerful people who dominated in DC. As it was, her business was in the shadows but her clients were certainly not. She knew the secrets of some of the most powerful, well-known men in the metropolitan area. For all her success she now felt utterly powerless and helpless. The man she loved was hurt, possibly dying and she couldn't even hold his hand. She resolved to be optimistic because to do otherwise was simply too painful.

While Tony and Holly were worrying thousands of miles apart Jethro was unaware of anything. The surgeon, Dr. Taft, and his team were not accustomed to failure but Jethro was testing all their skills and patience. The bullet had done a lot of damage as it exploded into his body and tumbled around wreaking havoc as it went. Miraculously, there was only minor damage to the heart but a piece of shattered rib had nicked his lung and because of severe blood loss the kidneys were barely functioning. There seemed to be blood coming from every place but this surgeon was good and progress, although painstakingly slow, was being made. Dr. Taft really wanted to get Jethro off the table but every time he thought they might be ready to close they found something else that needed to be repaired. Jethro had already coded twice and the doctors didn't want to bet on him surviving another complete shut down. Finally, just over three hours after they had opened him up, Dr. Taft stepped back and allowed his assistant to begin the closing procedure.

In the hallway outside the operating room, Tony was too tired to pace anymore so he was slumped down on the floor, his back to the wall. He heard the door open but was too scared to look up. Dr. Taft simply slid down the wall and sat opposite Tony with his knees up, elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He was exhausted.

Tony finally looked up and said, "So doc, what's the verdict?"

"He's alive. He lost an incredible amount of blood and there was considerable damage in there but he's hanging on. Of course the next few hours will tell the tale."

"He's tough. Will he make it?"

"He better. I hate to lose. He's got to want it and judging by the fact he flatlined twice and came back both times I think he must. I give him a better than even chance but we've got a ways to go yet."

"Thanks, Doctor. He's a fighter so he'll do all he can. Got a really great, beautiful woman waiting for him if that helps."

"It sure can't hurt. The leg was not too bad. I had our ortho look at it. The bullet broke the bone but it was relatively clean. Not sure how that happened but we're lucky there. He's not going anywhere on it anytime soon so it will have a chance to heal up. I'll have someone find you when we have him settled in the recovery area."

Dr. Taft got up and reached down a hand to Tony. A very tired but slightly encouraged Tony took the offered hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He had a call to make.

"Tell your people he's stable at the moment. Give us twenty-four hours and if he's still alive then, we'll know more about his chances."

"Thank you."

Tony trudged off to find Joanna Teague and to call the Director. He found Agent Teague in the comm center talking to her contacts in Iraq. She looked up at him expectantly and hung up the phone.

"Well?"

"He's alive. Lots of damage and blood loss. Doc said twenty-four hours will tell us more. He thinks he has a chance at least. Those your guys?"

"Yes. They still haven't located the leader but they have the kids in sight. I'm thinking we might as well go ahead and pick them all up."

"Why not? They won't lead us to the guy anyway but they might have something on them or one of them might talk. We definitely need to get Luke wrapped up. I want him for shooting Gibbs. I don't care if he is a kid."

"I agree. I'll tell my guys to go ahead and round them up and hold them somewhere safe and secure."

Tony got on the phone to NCIS and quickly had Director Vance on the phone. He repeated exactly what Dr. Taft had told him. Then he told him what Agent Teague suggested about the kids.

"I agree, DiNozzo. Get them picked up and on their way home. I want you back there so you can interrogate some of them before they're on a plane."

Tony hated to leave the ship because he knew Gibbs could still go anytime but he also wanted to do his job which was what he knew the Boss would want. He told the Director he'd go back with Joanna. He just wanted to see Gibbs before they left.

"I understand. You know what to do Tony. I'll tell the others. Make sure someone there has my numbers in case….well, just in case."

"Roger that. He's going to make it."

By this time Holly had worn herself out pacing and was on the couch staring at the television. She and Ducky spoke occasionally but they were both lost in their own thoughts and silent prayers. When Ducky's phone vibrated on the coffee table Holly jumped. She stared at the phone afraid for Ducky to answer it and at the same time impatient to hear the news it would carry.

Ducky too was a bit apprehensive but he answered nonetheless. He listened intently as the Director relayed DiNozzo's message word for word. He thanked him and closed the phone putting it back on the table.

"Jethro survived the surgery. He is not out of danger of course but the doctor seemed to think he had a better than even chance of recovering. Tony told Director Vance the doctor said there was considerable internal damage and Jethro lost a lot of blood but he is fighting. Apparently he coded twice but came back which is a good sign. It means he's doing his part."

Holly didn't know what to say. She tried to absorb all that Ducky was saying and keep a clear head but she was once again on the verge of panic. It all sounded dreadful and scary and she wanted so much to be with Jethro. She looked at Ducky and tried to read his expression but he was much like Jethro; very hard to read when he wanted to be.

"What do you think Ducky?"

"It's difficult to say without knowing exactly where the wound is. Suffice to say, a chest wound is never minor. He was on the table for about three hours which is not unreasonable but is a long time. The main concerns now will be infection and the possibility they will have to go in again should he start bleeding again. I imagine they will have him heavily sedated for some time to allow the body to begin healing itself and replenishing the blood supply. I'm afraid it is just a waiting game now."

"Ducky, I know you probably need to go to work. I'm fine here. Like you said, all we can do it wait. Don't worry about me. Go to work and call me when you know anything."

"I hate to leave you my dear."

"I'm fine Ducky. Really. Just promise me you'll call as soon as you have any news. And could you find out how I can call and speak to Jethro when he's awake? Do you think the doctor will talk to me?"

"I will call you the instant I have news. I will speak to the doctor myself and tell him you are Jethro's emergency contact, which you are by the way along with myself, and tell him he may share any information with you. And, I'll see that when Jethro is able to handle it, you are able to call him."

Holly stood up and walked to the door with Ducky reluctantly following her. They hugged and Holly thanked him for coming so quickly.

"May I stop by on my way home this evening?"

"Of course, I'd like that. In fact, come for supper. It will give me something to focus on this afternoon."

"If you're sure. I would enjoy that. I'll see you about six."

"Okay, thanks again Ducky. Jethro and I are lucky to have you in our lives."

"I feel the same way my dear. Try to keep a positive thought."

"I will. See you this evening."