Tattooed

Summary: "I've lost everything to drugs, do you know that?" Sakura told him with tears in her eyes. "The funny thing is I've never even touched a drug in my life and yet it destroyed me. It took everything." She turned to face him then. "Please, don't let it take you away from me. I won't be able to handle it, not this time, not again." S x S.

Author's Note: Fashion Fairy 26, ginnna, Care, amelancholicangel, deadflo, SweetSeductionCherryB :

Most embarrassing moment? I'd been beating up my boyfriend in public. Trust me, not fun.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

xxxxv.

The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

- I Will Follow You Into the Dark/Deathcab for Cutie

The next day, Sakura had decided to go downstairs and put on her best face, better than the face she put on for dinner the previous day. Fine, one little setback was allowed. After all, it'd been her first day back.

Was it generally this hard to bond with family?

Touya was seated on his usual chair while her father stood facing the stove cooking something, it looked like.

"Good morning," Touya said quietly as he sipped his coffee. Her father turned around then. He smiled.

"Good morning, Sakura. How would you like an omelette for breakfast?"

Something about the way he'd been looking at her... and not just today, but from the time she'd arrived yesterday... it left her unsettled. Sakura nodded and sat down at the table, opposite Touya, and picked up the newspaper.

"Any idea on what you're going to do for a job?" Touya asked.

"None whatsoever,"

"You could always help me out," he suggested, his tone light.

Sakura didn't even bother responding to that.

"Mushrooms?" her father asked from over the counter.

"Sure," she responded, wondering if she should be helping out. She was going to live here, even if it was just temporarily... wasn't she? It was only fair that she helped out.

"You don't eat, you don't sleep, and you don't even help out around the house anymore!"

Crash.

Shatter.

Break.

"What good is it that I have an adult in the house when I'm the adult most of the time!"

"What do you want me to do, Sakura?" he'd asked her, unhappily, red-eyed, angrily.

"Help out! This is your house too. Stop getting high all the time and help out, Jesus! Is that too much to ask for, for your cooperation to being a part of this?"

"Sakura?"

"Huh?"

"I asked you if you'd like some juice?" her father asked, possibly having repeated the question for her benefit. Sakura nodded.

"Orange?"

"Sure,"

After pouring the juice into the glass, he placed it on the table and brushed by her. That had been the most contact she'd had with the man who... what? What was this man to her?

"I'll cook tonight," she announced after having finished her omelette.

"Are you sure? Touya doesn't mind."

"I'm sure."

Her father nodded and then smiled that disgustingly happy smile before leaving the house.

"Are you okay?" Touya asked her then as he shuffled in some papers into a briefcase. Sakura nodded.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to get to this school, do some preaching. Interested?"

Sakura shook her head.

"Come on, what are you going to do here all day anyway?" he asked her as he shrugged on his jacket, then his coat. Sakura looked around, at the phone, then at the entrance to the kitchen. A little thought and a "Fine," later, Sakura joined her brother in his quest to reforming kids who could, or would, become slaves to the thing we call addiction.

*.*

"Class, we have an announcement from Mr. Touya Kinomoto. Please listen to what the man has to say and we'll proceed with classes after that."

The teacher walked past Sakura with a smile, his hair blonde and his eyes far too blue for his own good. Not Japanese, Sakura noted. Probably American, from his accent, or maybe even Canadian... one could never really tell though. Not like Sakura was interested. She was just wondering. Being back home was sort of disorienting... she wasn't really sure what was what anymore. After living so long in Glasgow it was kind of difficult to tell where she was.

"You," Touya pointed out to a girl with long braids. "And you."

"And you, you, you too. Come on out," he said and left Sakura behind.

"I'm leaving them to you," he told her in her ear before he left, the five kids that'd been called on hot on his tail. What the hell?

"Uh," she pursed her lips and stood awkwardly. "My name is Sakura, and I'm a part of APAA, that's the—"

"We know what that is." a shout came from one corner of the class. Sakura sighed and bit back the attitude that was threatening to come out. After counting to ten, she began with what she thought was the best way at attacking overdramatic teenagers.

"My father was a drug addict." She started. "And I haven't seen him in eight years. The addiction... it drove us apart and now... we're barely father and daughter.

"I lost my mother when I was young and I guess that's what drove my father to it, the drugs. I wouldn't really say I know and understand his reasons completely, but I'm telling you that it's that simple to get hooked. All you need is a reason, an excuse your mind gives you for trying it. You think it'll help, even if for a few moments, but trust me; you're just wasting twice as much of your life away.

"We at APAA help you the way we think we can, making sure to meet your needs and make sure you have a happy, safe, life. What is a safe, happy life you ask? It means you need to have good food at home, a good mother or father or if you're lucky enough, both, giving you lunch money and a stable life. You've probably got friends who are the same as you, happy, for all you know, and for all you don't know, they're not. There are people who have sides you've never seen, even your best of friends.

"While you may be clean and sober, your friends or family members may not be. So for that, we're leaving our cards with each of you today so you can get in touch with us if you think you need help. Because we can't help you if you don't say so.

"And don't wait till it's too late. Whatever the reason is, addiction isn't the solution."

Sakura turned to leave the class and found her brother talking to the students, his voice soft and low. She decided to stick around in the class, let him finish.

"Any questions?" she asked instead, not really wanting to answer any questions, but there to do it anyway.

After a few minutes of silence, one hand went up. Sakura nodded at him, the boy in the back bench.

"Can you get addicted in the first try?" he asked her with sincerity. Sakura wanted to laugh.

"It depends, and varies, from person to person. Using more than once though will definitely get you hooked to the stuff you're talking about."

No one else asked anything, and Touya signalled the go when Sakura looked over to him. The kids walked back into class, their faces sullen.

"Okay then, we do the same thing in the next class,"

Sakura looked up at him, her face astonished. "You're making me do that again?"

"All the way till evening, if I have my way."

Sakura groaned. "Come on, Touya."

"Come on, Sakura. It's not like you have a job to get to."

Sakura muttered under her breath and swore to get to the newspaper the second she got home. Hell, she'd work as a waitress if it meant not having to do this.

"Just for today," she warned Touya.

"If you say so,"

"You know this isn't what I want from my life, Touya,"

"I know,"

Sakura needed to only make that much clear. She walked with him willingly to the next class, thinking about her own class. Were they doing okay without her? Was the new teacher nice? Any more kids who needed guidance and help on addiction?

"I need you to do me a favour," she told Touya when they took a lunch break. Touya glanced up at her.

"Check up this kid... William Grant. Last I heard he was doing time in Glasgow."

"That's not much information. Who is this kid?"

"Touya—"

"You can't blame me, Sakura. The last kid you wanted me to help was your boyfriend. So you'll forgive me if I'm a sceptic right now."

"He was a student of mine that got caught with possession of heroin."

Touya nodded. "I'll check him out. Now that we're on the topic... tell me about your ex-boyfriend."

Sakura felt her nostrils flare. "That has nothing to do with the topic."

"Just answer the question will you?"

She slammed down her glass of soda. "Nothing to tell. I told you, we broke up. We're done."

"Was he taking again?"

"I don't know."

"How can you not know?"

Sakura didn't respond. She ate her rice balls and pointedly ignored her brother.

"He's left Glasgow," Touya told her coolly.

"I know. Tomoyo told me."

"Does that have something to do with your exiting Glasgow?"

Sakura shrugged and closed her eyes, feeling the slight wind in the air. It was a nice wind, soothing and cool. She then felt a hand on hers.

"Thank you," Touya told her.

"For what?"

"For today,"

Sakura scoffed. "You're paying me in chores for this buddy."

Touya smiled. "Just like in the good old days,"

*.*

As promised, Sakura cooked her speciality that night. Pasta Arabbiata.

Her father had come home around seven in the night all covered in snow. It almost made Sakura smile when she watched him dust and dry himself. A strange sense of comfort overcame her, as it used to when her father would come home in the evening from work. Of course, she was thinking about the time that her father was still sober enough to go to work. When he would return, she always felt happy, for no apparent reason. It was simple. Her father had come home, and she was glad.

To this day, Sakura realized that that little sentiment hadn't really changed.

"Hi," she greeted by mistake. Her eyes widened on the horror she'd just committed. That was the first time she'd willingly said a word to a father without him having to say something first. It felt like she'd lost a round in the battle. A battle against whom, she wasn't really sure of. It sure wasn't her father. Little injured pigeons were better soldiers than her father at the moment.

"Hello, Sakura. Dinner smells fantastic. I'll be right down. Is Touya home?"

Sakura nodded mutely, standing there at the end of the corridor in her hello-kitty apron and slippers. Her father walked by her and then went for the stairs. It had looked like he was going to come touch her... maybe hug her? Sakura couldn't be sure though.

"I brought strawberry mousse," the old man proclaimed as they cleared up the dishes. Touya smacked his hands together.

"Finally, the good stuff comes out."

Sakura wiped her hands and made for the bathroom downstairs. At the sight of something green and white on the wall, she first passed by causelessly with just a glance at it. Then, she stopped short and turned around.

A picture of her mother... had been hung there. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't small either, very unlike the ones her father used to keep in the kitchen. She touched the picture, the cold feel of smooth glass against her skin. Her mother had been so beautiful, like a model indeed. She had been a model. She had been tall and bold and beautiful, her wavy long hair and beautiful green eyes made her stand out wherever she went. Or so Touya had said.

"You promised me," she could almost hear his voice, her father's voice, even after all this time. "You promised me you'd never leave.

"Why did you leave? Why did you leave me here?

"What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to live without you, Nadeshiko?"

Sakura had heard him past his door one night, his voice loud yet his words tender. He sounded like he was talking to someone... and he had been.

"Hey mom," she tried, for the first time in all these years, talking to her mother. What should she say though? What was there that she needed to tell her mother who probably already knew everything? What could she tell her that would make a difference anyway? Nothing. You don't talk to dead people to make a difference; she'd learned that from her father. He hadn't been talking to his deceased wife for a reason. No, not really. There had been no reason. Just the sheer madness that was the drug, that was all. He'd been talking to his dead wife, and that was where he'd found solace. Not in his own home, not in the arms of his alive and well daughter, but in the memory of his long gone wife.

God, how long had she been gone? Over a decade now.

"Do you miss mommy?"

"I miss you," she whispered, looking into the green eyes that reflected back her own.

"I'm okay now. I wasn't okay, but I am now." She told her with definiteness as she realized she had had no real photos of her mother back at Glasgow. This was the first photograph Sakura had seen of her mother in years. She decided she needed to ask her father about that. She then went into the bathroom and went back to the dining room as quickly as she could.

For the first time, she thought about what happened to people after they passed.

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

QUESTION: What is your favourite book? Have I asked this one before?

Come join me at my CCS Fanpage on Facebook called 'Hiiragizawa's Archive of Bolting Cardcaptors'. Link on profile.

Do you like my work? Want to discuss it? Join my group called GP06FR. Link on profile.

Will be updating asap!

Read and Review. Thank you!