Tattooed

Summary: "I've lost everything to drugs, do you know that?" Sakura told him with tears in her eyes. "The funny thing is I've never even touched a drug in my life and yet it destroyed me. It took everything." She turned to face him then. "Please, don't let it take you away from me. I won't be able to handle it, not this time, not again." S x S.

Author's Note: Fashion Fairy 26, ginnna, Care, amelancholicangel, deadflo, SweetSeductionCherryB :

My favourite right now is the Ice series by Anne Stuart. Not all the books are great, but one book is. The Ice Storm. Though, you've got to read them all to like the Ice Storm.

My all time favourites are: Sleeping Murder by A. Christie and Paths of Glory by Jeffrey Archer.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

xxxxvi.

I've been walking in the same way as I did
Missing out the cracks in the pavement
And tutting my heel and strutting my feet
"Is there anything I can do for you dear? Is there anyone I could call?"
"No and thank you, please Madam. I ain't lost, just wandering"

- Hometown Glory/Adele

The next day, just as the previous, Sakura worked with Touya through the day and offered her culinary skills at night. She even did the laundry and cleaned up after the two men of the house.

At night, Sakura listened to her favourite music as she tucked herself to sleep. Her father had come to her every night she'd been here so far to bid her a good night. He then retreated to sleep himself to the room across the hall.

The echoes of a screaming irked Sakura as she was about to fall asleep. She froze, the music in her ears suddenly deafening as she sat up straight in bed.

Sakura opened the door and went straight to Touya's room. His door was still open, which meant that he was awake.

"Sakura?" he asked her as he put the laptop away. "Is everything alright?"

Loud, mannish screaming that roared through the house.

"Sakura!"

"Open this door, Sakura!"

Sakura put her hands to her ears, the sound of her name being called out too loud to handle. It had been her father. He'd been screaming at her... for no apparent reason.

"I keep remembering things," she told Touya with a crack in her voice. Touya shifted on the bed and made space for her as she readily crossed the few feet between them and snuggled next to him.

"He used to scream for days if he didn't have the drugs." She told Touya through the layer of blanket over her face.

"You never told me that."

"It was... towards the end that it got bad."

Tomoyo had been with her one day when the incident had occurred, when her father had started... the lunacy.

"Does he always scream at you, Sakura?" Tomoyo had asked innocently as they holed up in her bedroom, waiting for her dad to finally take a break, even for a second.

"Answer me, Sakura."

Sakura hadn't answered. Tears and snot and sniffles left her as Tomoyo comforted her, tried to be strong for her. That had been the first time Sakura had confided in someone about her father's condition. It hadn't been as relieving as she'd hoped.

"You have to tell someone, Sakura. This is horrible, you can't live like this." Tomoyo had told her as she patted her hair.

Sakura remembered how terror-stricken she'd felt, as if someone had cast the breath out of her.

"You can't tell anyone," she told Tomoyo, frantic and uneasy. "You need to give me your word, Tomoyo. You can't tell anybody."

Tomoyo hadn't said anything. She wasn't even stroking her hair now.

"Please, Tomoyo. Don't tell anyone, please. Don't tell, please."

Sakura remembered Tomoyo's reluctant nod, the look of pure anguish on her face as the two girls waited out the man who was no longer in his senses.

"You're safe now, Sakura," Touya told her as he held her tight. It was as though he could read her mind. "You're safe now. I'm right here."

Her therapist had been right. Sakura had been far too muddled up with this drugs business. And here she'd thought she could leave it all behind just with a plane ride and a rented house in another country. How wrong she'd been.

Sakura felt herself drift into a fitful sleep.

Even in her dreams Sakura hadn't felt safe.

*.*

"You were supposed to call me every day," Tomoyo complained as Sakura finally picked up the phone to call her best friend. Sakura carried on with laundry and put the phone on speaker.

"I know, Tomoyo, and I'm sorry."

"Tell me how it's going."

"It's going fine." Another shirt went into the machine.

"I'm going to need more than that, Sakura."

A sigh. "Everything's fine, Tomoyo, better than I thought it would be anyway,"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Another sigh. Another shirt. "I don't know. I wasn't expecting to be able to even face him without getting the jitters."

"When you were that terrified of doing this then why did you?"

Good question.

"When do you want me to down there?" Tomoyo asked, clearly changing the subject.

"Come tomorrow," Sakura declared.

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow,"

"But it's New Year's Eve!"

"Exactly."

"It'll be harder to get a flight back,"

"And by that you mean arranging your private jet, right?"

Tomoyo giggled. "Fine, I'll be there. Get dressed, we're going out."

Another sigh. "You do know that by 'we' you mean all of us, which includes my dysfunctional family members."

"Of course I know that. I'll try being by there by your ten in the morning."

"I can't wait. See you then."

Tomoyo hung up and then Sakura smacked her head. She redialled.

"Don't forget Kero," she told her best friend with a silly smile on her face, switching the machine to rinse.

"Forget him? Darling, that's the only reason I'm coming there, to come drop off your big dim-witted dog."

Sakura hung up this time and laughed. The sound of someone clearing their throat brought her to gasp and turn around.

"I haven't heard your laugh in so long. It's just as lovely," he told her with a smile that reached his eyes.

"I made dinner." She said instead, trying to hide behind a pair of pants, wishing the pants would expand and swallow her intact.

"I know. It smells fantastic."

"I also made dessert today. Strawberry tarts."

"Sounds delicious," her father's voice traveled over the stairs as he climbed them.

Dinner had been monotonous enough, as Sakura served the three of them equal portions of her chicken and rice and then proceeded with dessert.

At the first taste of it, Sakura shut her eyes.

"I'm Syaoran."

Sakura bit into her next bite and realized why she'd been thinking of the boy. This had been their first meal together, strawberry tarts and something else. What did they have for dinner? She couldn't remember.

"So, do you have plans for tomorrow night, Sakura?" her father questioned. The phone call had probably tipped him off.

Sakura took another tart just as Touya did. "Tomoyo is coming down to spend New Year's with me. I hope that's okay."

The look on her father's face could have easily passed off as impassive, but Sakura found it easier to describe as stony.

"Of course, that's fine. No one else, then?" he asked her, and then turned to Touya.

"Yukito'll be here, obviously," Touya cut in.

Sakura felt restless and fought the need to leave the table. People were still seated at the table, and she knew better than to be rude about it, even if she was being rude to the man who had practically ruined all of her childhood.

"Where do we go?" Touya asked the big question. "I don't feel like going to the shrine for greetings this year, if you guys don't mind." At that, Touya pointedly glanced at his father, who laughed at the statement.

"Fine. How about we take the ferry across to Tokyo and go to Tokyo Tower? Sakura always enjoyed that." Her father suggested.

Sakura took a lungful of air. "That sounds great."

It really did. She'd been to Tokyo Tower a long, long time ago, when her father and her still had something in common, apart from the blood in their veins.

"It does." Her father agreed.

She left the table then.

*.*

Kero had come galloping into the house like he owned it, followed by an ever-cheerful Tomoyo. Sakura had weaselled out of going with Touya that day and stayed back to welcome Tomoyo home. Home, which meant Tomoeda, not home the house she was in. No, Sakura didn't really consider this house her home anymore. It had been a while since she thought of this house as home.

The flashbacks and dreams had dialled down a little, Sakura realized, as she hugged her best friend and smelled the familiar scent of lavender.

"It's so good to see you." She told her.

"Sakura, you saw me three days ago."

"I know. It feels longer than that."

"Hmm," Tomoyo had that all knowing look on her face as Sakura helped her bring her suitcase in.

"Are you going to go see your grandpa?" Sakura asked.

"If time allows it," Tomoyo shrugged off. "I saw him a couple of weeks ago. I'm sure it'll be fine if I can't this one time."

Kero wandered around the house, as though he knew it. Sakura let the dog free as she and Tomoyo sat down and talked about random things, random people they hadn't met in a while.

"I just saw Mr. Terada on my way here," she told Sakura with a sip of her soda. "Man, that teacher just gets hotter every day."

Sakura agreed. He'd been hot back in the day when he their class teacher. She wasn't sure how he looked now though, she hadn't seen him since High School.

"What're we doing tonight?" Tomoyo asked as she took off her watch and bracelet and moved up the stairs to Sakura's room.

Sakura told Tomoyo the plans they'd made.

"That sounds nice. What're you wearing?"

Sakura turned around and grinned at Tomoyo as she walked up.

"I thought I'd let you decide."

Tomoyo's grin was the biggest of them all.

Between trying out clothes, eating Chinese takeout, which Sakura hadn't done in a while, and watching cable sitcoms, the two girls spent their time gossiping, bonding and just being. It had been a while since they'd spent the day just girl-ing themselves out.

"How's Mei Ling?" Sakura asked, remembering that that was the last time Sakura had gone shopping. With Mei Ling, and Tomoyo and Syaoran.

"She's good." Tomoyo had that look in her eye when she spoke next. "She misses you."

"I miss her too," Sakura admitted.

"So call her sometime,"

Sakura placed a blue dress against her skin and faced the mirror. "You know why I can't do that,"

"Why? Because you dated her cousin and now you're awkward about it?" she jumped off the bed and came to stand next Sakura with a new dress in hand. Sakura took it and placed it on. It was a forest green dress. She especially liked the black ribbon belt across the waist.

"You know it's more complicated than that."

Tomoyo didn't comment. Instead, she turned Sakura around and brushed her shoulders. "This looks beautiful. I never realized how good you look in green. Wear it."

Sakura turned around and faced the mirror again. Kero seemed to agree, he was barking like a mad dog.

She had just the earrings that would go with the dress.

*.*

After rummaging through her closet once, then twice, Sakura had decided to ask Tomoyo for a matching stole for the dress she wore. Tomoyo had offered to lock Kero up in the basement and Sakura had jumped at the opportunity. Though, it shouldn't be taking her so long to do it. She paced for a little while, and then stood in front of the mirror once again before turning around and observing her butt. There was no real reason, or explanation, for what Sakura just did. It'd been an impulse, and she'd laughed at herself over it.

A soft tune filled the air and it was seconds later that Sakura recognized it. She stood in place, in front of the mirror, and let the music take control of her senses completely.

"Your mom's piece,"

Yukito walked into the room after saying the words to envelope Sakura in a hug that could only be described as a bear hug.

"It's good to see you home." He told her before pulling away.

There was that word again.

"Is Touya playing it?" Sakura asked Yukito as she sat on the bed to strap on her Tomoyo-approved black stilettos.

"Can't be. Touya's downstairs pulling the car out of the basement."

Sakura sighed. Her father had sold the organ almost as soon as her mother had passed. He couldn't bare it being in the house, not after she'd died.

"I believe your father has a recording of your mother playing," Yukito told her as he bent down to help her with her shoes. The music was still playing. "This is my third time hearing it," he told her, patting her ankle when he was done. Sakura thanked him. It was then that a voice came into play.

"Fujitaka, put that recorder away,"

"You play so beautifully, my love. Don't be stupid. I'm recording this. Who knows? One day this tape might make me millions!"

"Fujitaka!" The tape abruptly ended. And then there wasn't a sound. Yukito quietly finished strapping up Sakura's shoes and helped her stand. Sakura looked at the doorway, alert and ready for anything.

Her father was pulling on a coat as he approached her bedroom. He turned in surprise when he saw the two of them.

"Ready?" he asked them with a smile.

Sakura felt her heart clench. "Was that mom playing the organ?"

He nodded. "That was the only piece of music she ever composed."

He'd never really talked about her mother with her, not until now.

Yukito complimented it. "It sounds as beautiful as it did the first time I heard it."

"I agree." He paused at Sakura then. "You look beautiful, Sakura."

Sakura blushed faintly, muttered a thank you and then walked forward and past her father, down the stairs and into the car. She'd found Tomoyo on the way and hauled her along. Stupid girl had been on the phone all along. Touya was driving them, it seemed. Her father and Yukito strapped in moments later.

The drive there had been quiet. Tomoyo and she had shared a set of earphones and Sakura mindlessly listened to whatever Tomoyo played.

She thought of the night ahead.

She thought of the voice she heard on that recording... that voice, joking and making fun as though it was normal, as though it was an everyday occurrence. Sakura looked over at her father in front. She couldn't remember the last time he'd joked, let alone sounded so happy.

Round my hometown
Memories are fresh
Round my hometown
Oh the people I've met

QUESTION: What's the latest you've stayed up at night to get something you love done? I myself am up right now at 4 in the morning. Sleepy and tired as hell, but I'm smiling. :)

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