Author's Note- Alright, here's my 'well-fuck-it-let's-get-this-over-with-because-I-need-to-get-past-this-chapter-so-just-write-something-so-that-we-can-all-move-on-with-our-lives' update. Guys, I have absolutely no excuses for this delay. I just couldn't seem to sit down and write it for whatever reason. So here's something crappy and half-assed so I can finally get to what I've really wanted to get to since starting this story, and that's in chapter 27. Which-Thank Jesus Almighty- is already written.

Seriously, though, if I'm taking way too long on these updates and you guys are sick of the waiting, just PM me or go hassle me over on Twitter. Link is in my bio. Sometimes all I need is a swift kick in the rear.

Otherwise, please enjoy!

Forbidden

Ignorance- Part II- March

"Hey Simon, can you help me run my lines?"

Simon's almond shaped and colored eyes met mine as his brows furrowed questioningly.

"I suppose. But shouldn't you be reading them with Nate?"

It was mid-March, the evening before me and Nate's audition. Simon and I were lounging on the floor of Derek's living room while the good professor himself was on the couch grading Monday's midterms. Simon was currently working on the latest chapter of the comic series he's successfully published. A series of which Nate and I were huge fans before I personally befriended the talent scout/artist/brother of my calculus professor/boyfriend. However, as he answered my question, he set his sketching materials aside and reached out for the script in my hands.

"We should be rehearsing," I sighed, scrunching up my nose in displeasure. "But Nate's basically dwindled his time spent with me to an hour or two a week."

Another sign I should have been considering the past couple of months since the boy had confessed his feelings to me and I had turned him down. Nate has slowly but surely been growing distant, despite telling me that he was understanding of my rejection. That first week after he had kissed me and I had told him that I couldn't be more to him than just a friend, he made it seem like everything between us was going to be okay. And maybe he really did try to accept my feelings. But something shortly after changed and I could see Nate slipping away. Not in a way that made me sad, but in one that seriously pissed me off.

He was acting petty and passive aggressive. He'd leave our shared class as soon as it was over, rushing from the auditorium without saying anything more than a curt goodbye. He's cut down all of our rehearsal time together with comments like I'm sure you and I both have better things to do, as well as all our normal time spent together just hanging out with a Look, Chloe. I'm busy and can't really afford to be bothered today. He never came to the diner on Saturday's anymore, just to keep me company on slow mornings. He refused to join Liz and me for dinner whenever we invited him…

Overall, I knew he was avoiding me and that he was angry with me.

I wanted so badly to feel validated in my anger towards him and to tell him off. But I had let him down and I had to accept that this was his way of coping. I had to leave him to handle his feelings for a while and focus on my life until he really was ready to accept my feelings towards him.

And focusing on my life meant that I was going to have to work on our piece together on my own. Sure, we were still going to audition together, but I think the only reason Nate was still on board with that was because we'd been planning this for the last two years and he wasn't someone to just bail on the commitments he's made.

Pushing aside all my 'Nate' issues, I crawled towards the middle of the living room, stopping right in front of the coffee table before laying down in preparation for the scene. As I adjusted I felt a slight prickle touch my skin. That one where it feels like someone is watching. I glanced up at the couch only to catch Derek quickly skirting his eyes back down to the stack of papers in his lap, his expression impassive. I stifled a smile.

"Alright, should I play Nate's part, or the zombie?" Simon asked. "I can be a pretty good zombie."

A snort sounded from the couch in response and this time we both looked in Derek's direction.

"You would put zombies in your play," Derek rumbled, tone and eyes light with amusement. I frowned at him.

"It's not a play. It's a scene."

"Don't plays have scenes?" He asked, raising a challenging brow.

"It's a movie scene." I rolled my eyes but couldn't fight the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. Banter with a playful Derek, especially since he's been so uptight lately, is always fun.

"Wait, you haven't read her script yet?" Simon asked, tone incredulous. Derek's brows furrowed as if he didn't understand his question.

"Bro," Simon said, tone disapproving.

"What?" Derek snapped. "Why read it when I'm just going to go to her audition tomorrow."

Oh. That's news to me. I had no idea that he was planning to come and observe. I guess perhaps I should have assumed as much. He was my boyfriend, after all, and was very supportive of what I'd like to accomplish by transferring to Juilliard. I never really wondered why he never asked to read my script. It had never crossed my mind to even tell him more about it because I had Nate and Simon to talk about it. Besides, Derek wasn't very big on movies, so I just thought it wouldn't be all that interesting to him. But then again, I love listening to him while he helps me with my physics course. I enjoy the passion I see and feel emanating from him about the subject, despite my own disdain towards it. So perhaps it should bother me that Derek doesn't feel that way about my passion. Is he attending my audition because he wants to see me in my element, doing what I love? Or is it because he's extremely stingy about me going anywhere without him?

"You're not going to Chloe's audition," Simon responded, his expression suddenly serious.

"Like hell I'm not." Derek's jade eyes sharpened into sharp shards of glass as he tossed Simon a Don't even start look. But Simon held his ground, unwavering, taking on a side I haven't ever seen nor truly thought possible of him.

"First of all, the school doesn't allow an audience during the auditions. Only the judges and I can spectate. Second, Nate's going to be there. You two are trying to play student and teacher, remember? What do you think it will look like when the kid sees his calculus professor at his audition? He sure as hell knows you're not there for him."

Simon had a point, though I was rendered slightly disappointed that Derek couldn't go. I glanced down at my script. Well, Simon could help me get one last practice in and I could perform my scene for Derek. Easy fix. Besides, I hadn't really planned on him going in the first place.

When I raised my gaze back to Derek's to relay this to him, I was surprised to find him glaring impatiently at Simon. It was like that look he had pinned me with back on New Years. One that said Things are going to go my way, no argument, or else… Geez, did he really want to go that badly? However, Simon met his eyes and glared back with an equally cool stare. It was as if they were having some secret conversation without uttering a single word, and that left me sitting between them and feeling as if I was rudely intruding.

Finally, Derek closed his eyes and heaved a heavy, defeated sigh.

"Fine," He mumbled, irritated.

What the hell was that all about?

"Derek it's not that big a deal. I mean, if Simon helps me rehearse, then you don't have to try and cut out right after your final class to try to make it. The audition shouldn't take too long anyways."

He thought about it for a moment, then tilted his head to the side, expression softening, lips curving.

"That wouldn't have mattered. I wanted to be there for you."

Color touched my cheeks. "You didn't tell me you were even planning to go."

At this Derek's brows furrowed questioningly.

"Aside from the unfortunate reasoning Simon just laid out, why wouldn't I go? I thought you knew. It was basically implied."

Right. Implied because of what we were. At this point, my cheeks were inflamed.

"But I can still be morale support, just not from within the campus. I'll take you to and from the audition."

"You don't have to do that, Derek." I smiled. He's just trying to be sweet. "Nate said he already had a ride. That way I can just head over to Juilliard after my classes are over and then come here when I'm finished."

And suddenly, Derek's expression was hard again.

"I'm taking you, Chloe."

Not asking if that's what I wanted, not leaving any room for arguments. Like a parent scolding their child. From sweet and supportive to unyielding and overbearing. My flushed cheeks were no longer from flattery.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking myself."

I felt… angry. What the hell? When had Derek ditched town and Professor Souza moved in? Of course, up until now, I hadn't exactly argued against him and his, frankly, quite clingy dispositions. For a bit of time, I was too excited to be on the receiving end of his attention, his affections, righting it off that he was just a little too protective. A little over concerned.

But, in the blink of an eye, at this moment, I felt smothered. And at this moment, under Derek's steadfast, disapproving scowl- as if we were back at Liam's party and I had done something careless all over again- I realized several instances in the past couple of months where I felt like I was bobbing in an ocean, occasionally falling under the surface, suffocating. That nagging voice in the back of my head came rearing back with a vengeance, taunting me with a mantra of I told you so's.

My ignorance act was wearing thin. What did they call it? The honeymoon phase? I always used to roll my eyes at the heroin of movies that fell into this phase, internally screaming for them to look a little deeper and realize the red flags popping up everywhere that everyone else could see from a mile away. Derek wasn't just a little protective and possessive. He was so on such an extreme level.

Was it always going to be like this? Was this really how Derek was? Was I willing to put up with it because of how I felt towards this man?

The answer was no, of course not. If Derek and I were going to make it anywhere, he was going to have to realize that this whole overbearing thing was not going to fly with me and I wasn't going to take any of his bullshit. If I let him bully me into being his submissive little puppy, escorting me everywhere, basically keeping me locked up at school or at his apartment, what would be next? I deeply cared for Derek, but I needed some space. I needed some room to breathe and to make my own decisions. I needed to go out with Liz, maybe even hang out with Simon as our friendship was truly starting to blossom. I needed to call my aunt, maybe even email my dad to see if he'd be back in Buffalo next week during spring break and my birthday.

I needed independence.

So, just as Simon had, unfaltering, I met Derek's glare, praying that he would just concede. Because, if he didn't, we would have a serious problem.

His response this time wasn't as forgiving as when he had replied to Simon. This time, he sounded pissed and bitter and deep down, I winced at the notch it took us down in our relationship.

"Fine."

Sitting through Derek's class the next morning was not very pleasant for two reasons. One, despite my confidence in my ability to ace my audition that afternoon, the nerves that have been simmering in my gut over the past couple weeks had come to a full boil. I had tried pushing them aside, or more or less burying them in homework, work and distractions. It was a struggle really, and, up until the last weekend, I had been able to keep my cool.

Now I was so anxious I thought that any moment now, my staggering heart would suddenly evolve into a full-on heart attack.

The second reason was because Derek was not a happy camper this morning. I hadn't stayed last night. Normally I did, no problem. But after our rather small argument- it wasn't so much a verbose battle as it was a battle of wills- I realized that I really needed to start asserting myself and the amount of space I wanted. Derek was not pleased with my decision to leave and, I think that if I hadn't left with Simon, he would have been more forceful and argumentative towards me staying than simply skewering me with a disapproving scowl.

"Derek means well, Chloe." Simon had said as he walked me to my car. When I made to argue, surprised by how easy it would have been to be able to vent to Simon like it was with Liz, Simon had cut me off.

"He's coming off as controlling and clingy. I get it. But he's just a little more uptight than usual lately.'"

"More than usual?"

"Yeah, I mean, Derek is stingy and protective. That's just how he is. But lately, with those girls disappearing…" Simon hesitated, seemingly unsure as whether he should continue or not.

"Does Derek think that I fit the profile?"

Simon's head snapped up, eyes locking with mine, searching them. I shrugged.

"Both girls were my age, students, lived within campus limits... Two disappearances don't strike me as your average runaway. Something happened to them. Derek thinks someone is taking college girls. Kidnapping them. He doesn't say so, but I can tell that's what he's worried about. That maybe if I'm seen alone, that I'll be next." This much, with as much as I allowed myself to really think through the situation throughout my naivety act, I had been able to gather. I knew Derek didn't like the idea of me driving home from his apartment at night, wondering for the whole twenty-five minutes that it took to get back to my dorm if I had made it safely. Hell, my own aunt would be a mess of worry in the same situation.

But that didn't mean that it was okay for him to control everything I did. He wasn't always going to be around to make sure I stayed safe. I needed to make sure that I could stay safe on my own.

Simon nodded, though, it was more to himself rather than confirming my theory. As if I had just answered an unknown question of his.

"Yeah, Derek's on high alert and we all think that Miranda and Rae were kidnapped. Derek, me, our dad. It's like a case our dad had worked on a couple years ago. We've seen it before. That's why Derek's so overbearing. He's just worried about you and you shouldn't take his actions into heavy consideration. Give him the benefit of the doubt." Simon gave me a warm smile as he said this. "He really is a good guy, Chloe."

I smiled back. "I know," I said, feeling a little better despite knowing just how livid Derek was with me as I was leaving. I did know that Derek was a great guy. He just had a short fuse.

I had hoped that he would have gotten over it, but I knew better. No casual glances and secret smiles for Chloe today. And, to make matters worse, when he passed out the midterms we had taken on Monday and he had been grading the night before, he handed me mine face down without meeting my eyes.

Flipping it over, it was like the day he had returned our finals. The paper on my desk wasn't my test but an empty sheet with four words.

See me after class.

-D

Crap. Was this because of the score I had gotten or was it because of what had happened last night? He was grading the tests last night so, if I had truly done awful, then I probably would have gotten an earful then. Derek wouldn't have waited for class to come and go to loom about my scores in his class. Though, I did leave last night while he was still grading, so it was possible that he hadn't seen my test yet.

Perhaps this really was just about the test. I mean, I hadn't felt too comfortable with the material. That was mostly because of my nerves towards my upcoming audition.

And then I was thinking about my audition all over again. Not a pleasant class, whatsoever.

When it ended, I stayed in my seat. If this was about my grade, fine, I'd accept the consequences. But if this was his way of making an excuse so he could hound me for arguing and leaving last night then he had another thing coming. School was hardly the place to handle our personal relationship issues.

"Give him the benefit of the doubt." Simon's words bounced through my brain as Derek walked around the classroom, picking up Tuesday night's homework from each desk. I eyed a folded packet of paper sticking out of his back pocket. My test, I was sure of it.

So this was about the test.

And yet, Derek remained absolutely silent as he collected the papers he would be grading this evening. It was almost a passive aggressive silence. Really? Had he recently taken anger management from Nate and opted for the silent treatment as the best form of action to take with me, make me feel guilty for standing up for myself?

So then this was about last night.

I started to bounce my leg with impatience as he moved to the back rows of desks. I hadn't sat back there since Miranda had disappeared. I was about ready to turn on him and snap that I didn't have time for this when suddenly he placed both his hands on my desk, caging me against it and towering over me from behind. I jumped, startled by the abrupt proximity as he bowed his head and placed a soft, swift kiss on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

"W-what?" I stuttered, surprised and dazed and- and confused. I mean, honestly, Derek should come with a warning label.

Caution: May cause whiplash.

"I don't want to be your drill sergeant, Chloe. I don't find pleasure in treating you like I child, and it's usually always too late when I realize that's what I'm doing. I know you can take care of yourself, but it's just…" He trailed off, his lips leaving a trail up the length of my neck.

"You know I can handle myself, but you still worry. It's just easier if you're always with me, making sure I'm okay."

"Yeah," He murmured, a hint of relief in his voice at my understanding. His lips grazed just behind my earlobe and, just when I was about to succumb to how lovely that felt, something in the back of my mind clicked and registered the situation.

"Hey," I scoffed, turning abruptly in my seat to face and frown at Derek. He blinked, meeting my gaze before scowling back, slightly annoyed, as if he had been busy with something important and I had interrupted him.

"You can't just swoop in apologizing, thinking that if you can just say the right thing with the combination of your seduction methods and then all will be forgiven." Derek raised an amused, quizzical brow.

"My seduction methods?" I blushed.

"I know what you're trying to pull here. It's not going to work."

"I can hope, can't I?" I smacked him half-heartedly on the arm. If I let him get off that easy, then what? He'd know that he can act as irrationally as he has been all over again and then all he'd have to do is say some sweet words and kiss me and then everything would be okay.

Derek's expression became serious again and I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he said, "I am sorry, Chloe."

"For now," I said, then sighed, ready to change the subject. Again, Derek's classroom really wasn't the place to work out our relationship issues. Especially if he was going to start kissing me like that again. "Are you going to give me my mid-term back or what?"

"You did fine. A 92 I believe. I was holding it hostage because I thought you were mad and I didn't want you to leave after class before I could apologize." He confessed with a shrug. My mouth dropped open.

"First of all, that's an abuse of your position. You can't do that anymore and, from now on, if we're having personal issues, we'll handle it at home."

Derek's eyebrows inched upward, surprise flashing through his jade orbs. Yeah, buddy. I can be assertive. Though, a small voice in the back of my head seemed convinced that that wasn't what surprised him.

"Second, you have to stop withholding my tests from me. One of these days I'm going to have a heart attack. I thought I failed this one."

Derek chuckled sheepishly, then nodded.

Thursday afternoon, Liz and I were assisting the rest of our studio workshop class in taking down the school's spring Hamlet performance's set. We were chatting idly about our plans for spring break. Lucky Liz, she was going to be checking out of class early today. She and Simon were spending the night together- in which she gushed that this could be the night- before her Nana came through town to pick her up the following day. She'd already finished all her midterms so she was free from classes and free to start her spring break a bit early.

I told her that I was spending the first half of break with my aunt Lauren and the second half with my dad after he gets back from his six months' worth of back and forth endeavors to Europe. To think I hadn't seen him since last summer was frankly quite sad. I knew my father loved me. But I also knew that when my mother died, he buried himself in his work to cope and now, his work was all he knew. I accepted that years ago. But I missed him and I couldn't wait to see him. Aunt Lauren and I were closer. We talked on the phone quite often and, if she hadn't been abnormally busy this year, I would have gone to visit her over winter break.

Really, though, I was just anxious to take a well-deserved break. Nate, the audition, the helpless feeling I got whenever I thought of the still missing Rae and Miranda, Professor Banks- who was thankfully in his ad-on office backstage, grading our show management blueprint midterms- and Derek, all on top of being a college student was a rather exhausting package to handle. Derek wasn't all too happy with the idea of me leaving for a week. He hasn't been since I told him about it two weeks ago. But, after our long discussion last night after my- as Simon proclaimed- extraordinary, shoe-in of an audition, we've come to the conclusion that compromises were going to have to be made if our relationship was going to work.

Derek was going to let me be and head to Syracuse for the break- and stay there- only if I promised to call every night. It seemed silly, but I was honestly sure that I was going to miss him so I didn't really have a problem with it. Tonight I was going to pack. Friday night I was going to spend with him before we both took off Saturday morning. Simple. Easy. And I felt better about where we stood, that now that we've agreed to compromise, everything was going to be okay.

When Liz left, that just left me and Nate helping with stage takedown. I glanced at him, taking in his messy ginger hair and paprika speckled jaw, looking as if he hadn't shaved this morning. His blue eyes were guarded and I knew it was because I was standing there next to him. He had the same expression as the day before, during our audition. Speaking of which.

"You left so quickly yesterday, I didn't get to congratulate on a great audition." I said slowly, gauging his response. He shrugged, eyes still on his work.

"I had plans." I nodded, wincing at his tone. Where had my best friend gone? Really, who was this cool stranger that stood in front of me?

"Well, Simon thinks you nailed it. He's sure the judges liked you."

"I know, he already told me," Nate replied, tone slightly annoyed as if I were truly bothering him with repeated information. However, my brows furrowed in confusion.

"When?"

"Yesterday. After the audition."

"So you had time after the audition to talk to Simon but not your own partner? Your friend?"

Nate looked at me then, expression dry, eyes conveying a message similar to Really Chloe? You're going to go there… I glowered at him.

"Look, you're mad. I get it. But I-" and then I stopped. I'd hurt him. I knew why he was mad and it was selfish of me to expect more from him. To expect him to forgive me right away. He had a slight leeway to act the way he was, but not a very long one. I had to hold on to the hope that he'd get over this, that he'd start being my friend again. And if this is how he wanted to continue to treat me, then I was going to have to accept that maybe Nate and I weren't meant to be just friends.

I released a deflated sigh, swallowed the words I was going to say and met his gaze. Instead I said "I just miss you, Nate."

He held my eyes, searching them for a moment, though, it didn't look like he was going to say anything. The bell rang then and it felt as if the two of us were shoved back into the auditorium. Nate's eyes hardened again and he finally spoke.

"I really doubt that, Chloe."

He brushed past me and I turned, opening my mouth to tell him that it was true, however, before I could say anything, my name was called from left stage. I glanced that direction and my heart slammed on the breaks when I saw that it was Professor Banks addressing me.

"Chloe, I need to see you in my office. I'd like to have a word with you."

Yuck. I'm sorry this chapter was so bad. But I couldn't come up with anything better. Just please look forward to the next chapter. What do you guys think Royce has to say to Chloe? Let me know, but you all will definitely be finding out here in a couple weeks. :D

Also, if any of you are looking for a new Chlerek fanfic, go check out the short story xSweetEternityx is writing called The Guardian. She's only written the prologue so far, but it's already great and I can just tell that it's going to be amazing!