As sweet as it gets

by EmmaSo

„Welcome to your life
There's no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you"

I.

She was panting. She had been trying to suppress it for a while, but she was on the ropes. Daryl had kept up a pace the whole day long that she just couldn't keep up with. She stopped and deeply snapped for air.

"Daryl, please... Can we just take a break? For a moment?," she gasped, trying to sound not too whiny.

He turned around a gave her one of these 'nobody-can-read-my-mind' looks. She saw that he was breathing heavily, too, yet not as exhausted as she was, when he gave her a small nod. Filled with relief, she dumped her backpack on the ground, sat down and lay her head on one bent knee. He kept on standing, alertly glancing around the woods. After a few minutes her breath grew less heavy and she lifted her head again watching him for a hint on what he was up to. But he just gave her a quick look and started to stare in the wilderness again.

"Daryl...," she started but then stopped again. She couldn't find the right words to begin with. After that day in the cabin, when they had gotten drunk together and he had spilled his guts out to her things had become even more odd. On the one hand she had the feeling that he wasn't as grumpy as he had been before towards her, but on the other hand, he seemed to feel very uncomfortable about what had happened.

How could she explain to him, that it was okay? That there was nothing to be ashamed of, or feel awkward about?

"Gotta find a place for the night", he stated before she could say another thing. "Also some food. We're running short on supplies."

Silently she nodded and got up to her feet again. Maybe now wasn't the right moment.

She made an attempt to grab her backpack again, but he just picked it up and threw it over his shoulder, carrying his crossbow in his arms. When she opened her mouth to protest, he shook his head. "Need you to stay fit for a while. We'll probably have some more miles to walk."

When dawn came, they reached a clearing with a small hunting stand. Daryl checked the ladder and after leaving the luggage on the ground he climbed up to check out the hideout.

"Seems to be alright, at least for one night", he stated and she helped him to lift the weapons and the backpacks. They ate their last stock on crackers and canned peaches that they had found in a house a few days ago, and he let her drink all of the sweet peach juice. The silence between them made her sick, even though he acted surprisingly gentle towards her. After they had finished their meal, they were lost in their thoughts for a while. Beth thought about her dead father, her probably dead sister and that emotionally unstable redneck that she had ended up with. Under other circumstances — and with that she meant before the apocalypse — she would've never even looked at him. With his bad boy style, the leather west with wings on its back, the motorcycle and the scruffy beard... But "other circumstances" were long ago, and she had been another Beth back then. Now she realized, that she had developed feelings for him, that ran on a deeper level than pure company. They had started to get to know each other and somehow she had the impression to understand him very well. And she liked him.

There was just the thing, that he didn't seem to like friendship or company as much as she did. Or rather, he seemed to enjoy company, but only if it happened in silence. She could be pretty chatty and he … not. She wondered so many things – did he have a plan? Did he like her? Did he want to meet the others again, so he could get rid of her? Did he see her as a burden, or rather a challenge? A challenge on keeping her alive?

She knew that she couldn't stand a chance on surviving without him. But then she wondered how he would've done without her. On that night at the cabin, he had been so emotional. And she had given him the comfort he needed. And he had needed it. If she hadn't been there, he maybe would've done something very stupid. He certainly would have!

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Would've, could've should've. Her life contained way to much conditional.

"You should go to sleep", Daryl suddenly said. "I can keep watch."

"You should sleep,too", she replied. "Walkers can't climb up here, and if they tried we'd certainly notice." Would, should..."

He looked at her with something like a smile on his face.

"But you won't find to sleep if I'm not awake, and if I lay down, I'll be asleep as soon as m' head touches the ground."

She looked at him for a second, puzzled. Then she had to giggle. Had he just made a joke? His smile grew wider.

"How do you know, I can't sleep when you're sleeping? For all I know you can't notice because you are sleeping."

He looked away and laughed a short and rough laughter. "Did n' know. Just Guessed." She giggled again.

"You're a mean one, Mr. Dixon."

He raised an eyebrow at her in question.

"I was … just quoting the Grinch... You know, from that movie?"

He shook his head.

"C'mon, you must know it?! Mr. Grinch who tries to steal Christmas?! Every child knows it! … No?"

She started singing:

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch,
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch.
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!"

He laughed again.

"What a charming description of me."

"Well, you maybe a little grumpy, but you would't go as far an steal Christmas, right?", she teased.

"I dunno...", he replied. "Maybe Mr. Grinch had his reasons?"

"Oh believe me he didn't...", she disrupted her thought. But maybe he wasn't talking about Mr. Grinch?

There it was back again, the awkwardness between them. Had he just tried to tell her something? Something about himself. Or did she interpret something in his statement that simply wasn't there?

She inhaled, searching for words.

"Daryl, I..."

"You should really go to sleep now."

She nodded in acceptance. He didn't want to discuss the topic right now. And she was really tired. Maybe tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. Or the day after that.

She woke up abruptly and without any orientation. Where was she? What had woken her?

"Daryl?," she whispered in panic, when a firm hand grasped her upper arm.

"Shhh," he made. "There are walkers down there. They're just passing by. Keep quiet." She felt her heartbeat increase immediately and panic grew in her chest. He seemed to sense her discomfort and pulled her close to himself. Until that moment she hadn't noticed that she was shivering with cold and her limps felt numb and stiff. He lay an arm around her and pulled her head against his chest. Warmth and comfort enclosed her.

"Don't panic, love, " he mumbled. "Go back so sleep." She started to feel safer and relaxed a little bit. It felt good to be so close to him. He seemed to be always strong, always calm. He wouldd never panic about some lost walkers. She was safe with him.