Okay guys, here's another update. I've been working on that chapter for ages and actually I'm still not satisfied with it. But on the other hand I don't think I can do better. :/

At least this one's a very long chapter. :) Also I've already roughly sketched at least two more chapters and I'm confident that I'll be able to update tomorrow! I really want to post at least another update before the finale! I have some ideas I like a lot and I'm afraid the last episode will spoil them all, because I'm going to be overpowered with grief.

However.. Let me know what you think! Also if you have a TWD (or multifandom including TWD) tumblr please let me know! I'd like to follow you! :)

Oh yeah since I forgot about it in the last chapters... Warning: very strong language :P

And one last thing: I'm absolutely not familiar with the American system of units. It's really confusing for me since I'm used to the metric system. Anyhow, I did some research on it. I barely used it, but please excuse any mistakes in it, okay? :D

5.

They sat around the fire and shared the meagre output of Daryl's hunt. He had only succeeded in hunting down a skinny rabbit. He wanted to make a some more attempts on finding more food, but the two of them had been very exhausted by the lack of food and additionally, they had to find shelter for the night. But they had failed at finding a decent place to sleep, too and he was pretty mad at himself. He didn't mind so much where he slept, but he knew she did. She also did mind killing rabbits or other animals she considered to be cute, or skinning them or sleeping in the open, but she did not complain. Somehow it made him even feel worse. He wasn't even able to nourish or protect her properly and her not-complaining about it made him feel as if she didn't expect different from him. He knew it was bullshit and Beth would never think like that. Still an annoying pang in his stomach remained.

After having finished their silent meal, he got up and ground the fire. The last warmth of the day had long since passed and he couldn't help but feel the chill of the night. He sat down again and leaned against a tree. He could see Beth was hugging herself for warmness.

"Go t' sleep he murmured.

"Can't,she replied. 的t's so cold and I won't be able to sleep anyhow."

"Hm,he made.

"Don't 'Hm' me,she said, 添ou go to sleep and I'll keep watch."

He didn't answer. He knew he wouldn't sleep and she knew it too. Not because he didn't trust her, but because he felt as he must take care for her and not the other way round. She shivered again and tried to hug herself closer. He silently watched her silhouette in the dark, but he couldn't stand it for long.

"Come,he told her and outstretched one arm. She hesitated for a moment but quickly crawled into his hug when she realized he was serious about it. They cuddled up in each other's warmth for a while when she started to speak again.

"Daryl?"

"Hm."

"I miss them."

He sighed internally.

"I know."

"Sometimes I wonder how my life would be, if anything of this hadn't happened. If the world was still normal, and my parents were alive and we'd still live at the farm..."

He shrugged.

"Probably it would be, as you ever imagined,he replied.

"Maybe...,she replied. 釘ut would I be happy?"

"Don' know. Are you happy now?"

She inhaled deeply.

"At that very moment... Yes. In general... I don't know. Could be better. Could be worse."

At that very moment.

Why would she be happy now? What did being happy even mean to her? Maybe it was feeling full, or having a real bed to sleep at night. Maybe it was having a job and a house. Or a dog... Or children. Or maybe, it meant something else.

He looked down at her pale hair. And she looked up. They stared at each other for a moment, then she turned her gaze away.

"I don't think I would've been the same person,she continued, 徹bviously, I mean...,she sighed. 的 would've been weak."

"Hm,he made again.

"Did you ever have any dreams, Daryl?she asked.

He shrugged, trying to indicate his answer. There was another moment of silence between them.

"I don't know if I had any dreams either,she suddenly admitted to him. 鏑ike... I planned on going to college or so.. Maybe doing something with literature or art or so... Or becoming a vet like my father... Oh, I reckon this is more of a childhood dream. Don't think I would've been able to stand the blood... I mean, before."

He felt her moving closer.

"It seems so pointless to me now. Like, why would anyone have dreams at all? It doesn't matter, does it? All we need is to survive."

He rubbed his fingers over his lips, like he tended to do when he was thinking. Even though he thought her words were somehow right, he didn't like her talking like that. She was always so positive about everything and he was unsure about her sudden negativism.

"Why would you say that?he asked.

"Why would I say what?she replied. 的sn't it, what you think?"

"Maybe."

"So what's wrong with it?"

"It's not what you think."

He felt her twitch against him.

"Maybe,she answered cryptically.

They fell silent again. He felt as if he walked into a trap. Had she tried to provoke a reaction from him with her words? Again he looked down on her bright head, which lay now cuddled against his chest. He felt the urge to touch her hair, to pet her head, stroke it gently. She had tried to trap him. She was clever. A faint smile tugged on his lips. What's wrong with you Daryl Dixon? Does a girl get your head messed all up or what?

He loosened his hug on her. What had he just been thinking? She was just a girl. And she needed him to stay alive. And maybe he needed her, too.

xxx

None of them was sleeping that night. It was too cold and too uncomfortable. Every now and then one of them dozed of for a couple of minutes but neither could relax enough to fall asleep. When the first morning light came, Beth felt somehow relieved to get up. Her limbs felt stiff and her throat a little sore from the cold air.

They packed their things in silence and left their makeshift camp. After another hour of seemingly pointless walking through the forest, Beth dared to talk.

"I think we should find a city or a village. It is much more likely to find supplies there than by just stumbling all over the stopped but didn't turn around to face her. She saw that he was thinking over a reply and she didn't want to push him towards anything. A few seconds passed and he turned around.

"You sure?he asked.

"Why, yes,she answered. 展hy wouldn't I be?"

"It's dang' replied.

"Everything's dangerous. But Daryl, we need a couple of things. Not only food but especially that. And we need some more clothes and I'd really like a comb and... maybe a toothbrush?"

A sad smile appeared on his face.

"Yeah... 's go."

She darted a puzzled look at his back but then smiled happily. If he already wanted to go, why had he even asked her for her opinion?

She followed him for a couple of miles, but didn't actually realize a structure in his route. For a while she tried to do some tracking, but she couldn't figure anything particular out. When the sun began to set deeper she started to get impatient. Her stomach ached crazily and she felt weak and exhausted.

"Where are we actually going?she finally asked.

"We're replied.

"Do you know that territory."

"Sure."

Sure. Sure, what else? He hadn't been sitting in the prison for over a year doing nothing. They began to climb an abrupt slope. She started to pant again, since she wasn't used to difficult terrain.

"Is there a point...,she breathed. 的n climbing up here?"

"There's a road at the top. Leading to Brookfield."

"Brookfield? Never heard of it."

He didn't reply and she realized once more she shouldn't expect him to reply to things like that. He just wasn't much of a talker.

"Is it big? she tried again.

"Nah... don't know."

"How far is it then?"

"Hm.. couple of miles I reckon."

She rolled her eyes at his back, panting heavier.

"Sun's already setting."

"Yeah... need t' hurry."

She followed him, climbing the slope for some more minutes. It became more and more difficult since the steep increased. Suddenly she slipped and squealed, trying to steady herself. He gripped her arm and helped her up.

She looked at him and saw his eyes fixing on hers again. They glanced at each other, when he abruptly turned around and started to make his way up again. She tried to catch her breath for another moment, realizing that they were almost at the top.

The last part was the hardest one. It was rather a climbing wall, than a slope anymore. Beth had some real trouble to lift herself and all the weight of her luggage. Plus, the bow was really bulky and she couldn't figure out how to not have it in her way. Daryl reached the top and turned around to offer her some help.

"Hand me your baggage,he told her and took the big backpack and the bow from her. He then offered her a hand and pulled her up. He pulled stronger than she had expected him to do, and then sudden weight shift made her tremble. She stumbled against him and he picked her up against his chest Their faces were only a few inches away from each other. She stared in his eyes with surprise and she saw an equal look on his face. They stared at each other for a few moments, none of them being willing or able to part. She was mesmerised by his gaze, she could feel his breath on her face and she was almost sure she felt his pulse beat. His eyes danced over her face and the look they carried seemed to be so soft. She saw his gaze fixing on her lips for a second. She moved a little closer and he didn't make an attempt to withdraw. She searched his face for a sign, a hint on what he was thinking. If he was feeling something at all, he was hiding it well. Yet, he didn't move away from her. The moment had been lasting long enough to cancel the situation they were driving into.

Since he didn't make any attempt to neither withdraw, nor get closer to her, she screwed up all her courage and made one last movement to close the gap between their lips. But before they could touch, he suddenly made two big steps back and released his grip on her. She stumbled out into naught.

For a moment she gasped for air staring at him in shock. What had she just done? What had he just done?

She didn't know what to say. She felt stupid and embarrassed. And hurt. Tears choke on her throat. Why had he let her be so close if he hadn't had any intention to... to what? To kiss her? Had she really expected him to do that? Her face flushed in heat by the disgrace. She bowed her head trying to cover the shame.

A few moments of silence passed. Then he cleared his throat.

"Gotta continue,he muttered and made an attempt to continue their way. She felt shame change to anger. How could he even dare to treat her like that?

"Are you fucking kidding me, Daryl Dixon?she exclaimed furious. He slowed down and she could see he was unsure about what to reply. That made her even angrier.

"Fuck you, you know that?she panted. 添ou're such a jerk."

He furrowed his brows.

"Snap out of it."

She gasped, stunned.

"I don't believe that. What do you actually think you are? What do you actually think I am? I can tell you one thing: I'm not a toy. So fuck off!she shouted and showed him the finger. She stomped past him, not actually knowing where she was going to but she didn't care in her outrage.

"Beth!he exclaimed behind her.

"Fuck you,she replied and increased her speed. He followed her and grabbed her arm.

"Leave me! she screamed. 笛ust fucking leave me, you ass."

"Beth! he panted again. 鉄top it. Listen."

"Listen to what? To your silence? I can't listen to you Daryl, because you never speak! You sometimes say words, but you don't fucking tell a thing."

She could see he was getting mad at her, but she was so furious she didn't give a damn.

"You behave all macho all the time, but when someone gets to close to you, you behave like a fucking pussy, you know that? Who would've thought Daryl Dixon was afraid of little girls!With that she turned around and dashed off again.

"Hey!he yelled at her and she could hear he was really mad. Instead of giving him a reply she showed him the finger once more.

"Hey!he called again and grabbed her arm, jerking her around heavily.

"Don't touch me! Ouch, you're hurting me!"

"I'm not afraidhe growled at her. 溺aybe you should stop on constantly overrating yourself."

"Overrating myself?she screamed back at him. 擢uck you again! I've done everything, Daryl, everything! Maybe I'm not all pro on hunting and shooting and that stuff, but at least I'm not such a fuck up!"

"If I was a fuck up, you'd be totally dead,he yelled at her.

"Maybe, but at least I wouldn't have to be with such a pussy!His grip on her arm grew harder and she knew she would carry a bruise from it, if he wouldn't release her soon.

"Let go, you're hurting me!she exclaimed and she had to admit that it sounded a little pitiful. He suddenly released her arm, but shoved her against a tree and pinned her to it with his while body.

She hysterically tried to push him away, but he wouldn't let her go and gripped her hands.

"Back off you dumbass!she screamed. 擢uck you, Daryl, fuck you!"

"I'm not afraid of you!he growled.

She stopped her struggle suddenly and darted a deadly look at him.

"Then prove it,she challenged him. He quickly lowered his head and passionately kissed her on the lips. She hadn't seen that coming even though she had asked for it, so she gasped in shock. But after a moment she submerged to his kiss. Her anger suddenly dissolved into butterflies and she could only feel his lips on hers. It wasn't really the kiss she has asked for, because it wasn't soft or gentle as she had imagined. It was hot and passionate and felt wrong and right at the same time. But after a few seconds he slowed down and the touches grew more gentle. They could've continued on doing this forever if only not the hissing of an approaching walker had brought them back to reality.

He quickly withdrew from her and pulled out his knife since his cross bow lay on the ground a couple of feet away from them. He walked towards the walker, anger still drawing his body language. Instead of digging the knife into the things skull, he stabbed in its chest shoving it a few feet away. Then he kicked its leg, so it broke and the walker tumbled to the ground. He stomped on its other leg an Beth heard the bones break under it.

"Daryl,she breathed, but he couldn't hear her. He kicked the zombie once more and drew his knife in its chest again and again. The walker stretched out its arms in protest, but wasn't able to move properly.

"Stop it, Daryl, stop it!she exlaimed, but she saw he would not listen to her. Desperately she withdrew her knife to end the massacre, when he finally dug his into the walkers skull. He stood up and looked at her angrily. Blood was splattered all over his face and chest and for the first time since a while he looked dangerous to her again.

"I'm afraid of nothing,he panted and turned around to walk away.

xxx

They hadn't made it to the wasn't very late but neither of them had wanted to walk into a city that was probably overrun by walkers during the night. They had set up another makeshift camp a couple of yards away from the road. Beth had been very quiet, actually she hadn't said one word since the incident. She now was a few feet away from him and turned her back towards him. She hugged herself and he could see her shoulders tremble slightly. They still hadn't eaten a thing on that day, save some berries they had found earlier in the morning. They also ran low on water.

If this shit hadn't happened they could've made it to the city. They would sleep in a rather save house, they would be fed and maybe even clean. Why did she have to do that? She had totally taken him by surprise when she tried to kiss him. Even though he had been mesmerized by her gaze and didn't want to break the contact with her, his instincts had told him, that it was wrong, that they weren't supposed to do that. She was still a girl. A beautiful one. But a girl, almost a kid. He had never thought she would do such a thing.

He understood why she had gotten so upset. He had been a dick. And she had felt disgraced. He just didn't know how to cope with her emotions. She had been blind in anger and had acted headless and emotional and he had feared for her. And when she hadn't stopped insulting him and calling him names she had made him angry, too. Fucking bitch stuff. She was right, he freaked out when someone got to close. But he wouldn't accept someone calling him scared of kissing Beth Greene. He wasn't a teenage boy she could fool around with and she had provoked him. He couldn't handle her emotions, how was he supposed to cope with his own? He frowned at her back. At this very moment he wished he had never met her. He wasn't a babysitter and also he wasn't one of her little friends with who she could chitchat about boys and nail polish. His frown grew deeper.

But she wasn't a baby anymore and she didn't care about nail polish, did she? The way he had kissed her they way she had kissed him back had been very mature. He swallowed hard. He had enjoyed it a lot. But he felt as if he didn't deserved her. She deserved a better man than him.

He saw her body shaking with grief. She tried to suppress her tears but he saw her failing. He lifted his arm in an uncertain movement as if he wanted to tell her that it's okay, but then realized she couldn't see it. He didn't know what to say to her, or how to comfort her. The only thing that came to his mind was to be with her. He got up hesitant, carefully walked over to her and sat down behind her. Inertly, he lay a hand on her shoulder. When he touched she shook again, heavier. He could hear her soft sniffing and he felt so helpless. He had understood that she was mad at him, but he didn't understand the crying.

"I'm so sorry!she croaked.

He froze in shock. Why was she apologizing to him?

"I'm so sorry,she repeated and it sounded so pitiful that he felt a pang in his heart. He cleared his throat.

"'s nothing t' be sorry 'bout,he murmured. She sniffed again.

"It's all my fault,she said and he was unsure about what she meant. But he felt that she needed comfort right now so he replied, 哲othin's your fault."

Again a heavy sob should her slender body.

"I don't know why I did this, I'm so ashamed! I'm behaving like a dumb bitch. I'm so sorry."

His look darted around in the dark as if he was looking for support.

"Beth...,he said softly. 泥on't blame yourself. There's nothin' to feel sorry 'bout. If someone needs to apologize then it's me."

She laughed bitterly.

"You haven't done anything. I did,she sobbed.

"Bullshit,he replied. 鉄top it."

"I just don't know what I was thinking. I need to grow, to get stronger. There's no place for fooling around in this world anymore. This is bullshit!she exclaimed bitterly.

So that's what she's thinking, he thought. She believed that she wasn't taking their situation serious, and that he didn't want to get involved with a girl. She thought that she was being irrational and immature. He rubbed his lips in discomfort. That wasn't particularly the problem. It was more that he'd never been with a girl like Beth.

Of course had been with girls and women but that had been different. None of them ever had considered him as a boyfriend. And at least he thought so Beth Greene wasn't the kind of girl would kiss a boy she wasn't emotionally involved with. The truth was: He was scared. He was scared because she wasn't just a casual love-interest to him. He wouldn't particularly say that had ever considered her to be his girlfriend. For god's sake, she's a kid! But he realized how preoccupied he had lately been with her.

What scared him most was the fact that he had even gotten more involved with her since the kiss. Frankly, he hadn't thought about much else, even the hunger pangs and the fear for their lives had become less present in the last hours.

"Beth...he started but stopped because he didn't know what to say.

She didn't reply and the heavy sobbing that shook her slender body made him feel desperate. He raised his hands in distress and the only thing that came to his mind was to put his arms around her and hug her. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her. But he was lost for words.

xxx

He didn't know how much time had passed. It felt like hours, but it was still dark. Beth had curled up in his lap, her face hid under her pale hair. She had finally calmed down. He knew her crying hadn't only been about him. It had been about everything that had happened to her in the last weeks. Their fight and the incident had only capped it all off.

And when she finally spoke he was happy to hear her voice.

"Daryl?she asked hoarsely.

He cleared his throat.

"Yeah?"

"I was... just wondering... How old are you?"

He stared at her, an puzzled expression on his face. What an odd question in that very moment.

"I err.. I'm 32,he replied wondering how she might react to this.

She sniffed.

"Okay,she murmured and fell silent again.