Redeeming Endeavor: Last chapter, the main characters spent most of their day playing a few rounds of paintball. After winning their first and only match of the day, they met up again in the art studio. One thing led to another, and then nothing happened because phone calls in stories only happen because they're important.
Chapter 23: Absolute Zero
Buried under the covers of her bed, Naminé turned over to face the cellphone sitting on her night stand. It vibrated again, the screen glowing to life with a missed call and voicemail notification. She stared at it and decided to leave it. She didn't feel like getting up.
As Naminé closed her eyes, she remembered the confrontation that took place just three days ago. The words she spoke that day still rung fresh in her mind.
She called it Huntington's disease, describing it in a cold and clinical manner, but dumbed down enough to understand what it involved.
"It's almost like a combination of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. Almost. The symptoms are similar, but fundamentally different," she had said. "They include uncontrollable movements or spasms, dementia, memory loss, depression, irritability. Other things too, I guess."
At the time, Naminé could only nod and listen. She didn't know why Xion had told her any of it. They weren't close friends by any stretch of the imagination. But the day after Roxas left in a hurry, he returned for his phone. He took Naminé along as well, telling her that Xion wanted to speak with her. Naminé had only agreed because Roxas asked. She agreed because they needed to talk about what happened.
They didn't.
Instead, the car ride had been silent. And as soon as they reached Xion's empty house— a house cleared by movers and devoid of any evidence that someone lived there at all— Naminé had been whisked away to an empty bedroom for a spontaneous heart-to-heart with the girl who called Roxas away.
"It's genetic, dominant too. It's partly to blame for my father's death a few days ago. It's also one of the reasons why my mother committed suicide when I was… five? Six? She had it too. It was bad enough that one parent had it, but both? I didn't stand a chance."
"I'm sorry for your loss," Naminé had replied mechanically.
"It was a long time coming. At least he isn't suffering anymore," Xion had said.
Naminé hadn't asked, but she sat through the brief history that was Xion's life in that empty bedroom on that warm summer evening. She had placed herself against the wall right next to the door, far from the window on the opposite side of the room where Xion stood.
Naminé had wondered if she was supposed to feel bad. The whole thing seemed like a last second effort to gain closure. It never made sense. The last time Naminé saw Xion included a ton of glares from the latter party. Roxas didn't notice, but Naminé knew better. She knew what it meant.
It didn't make Xion more likeable, to put it lightly.
"It normally doesn't affect a person until they're close to forty years old. I've got the more aggressive form, so it'll hit me earlier. While everyone's halfway through college, I'll be dealing with the early stages of this disease. By the time you're all parents or uncles and aunts, I'll be closer to a vegetable than a human being."
It had seemed all too surreal. The more Xion talked, the more Naminé wondered why she couldn't replace the contempt festering inside her head. Pity would have been more favorable, but Naminé couldn't shake the anger. When silence settled over the two girls, Naminé had assumed it was her turn to talk.
Naminé had told Xion everything. Roxas's abrupt departure gave Naminé an outlet, and Xion proved to be the target.
"Why am I even here? Did you really have Roxas bring me over so you could tell me that?" Naminé had asked. Hearing the news hadn't changed her mind at all.
"No. I just thought I'd explain myself. See, Roxas and I had a little bet when summer started. I told him that you'd be his friend by the end of summer if you guys spent time together— if I was right, I was right. If I lost, I'd be his homework slave for the upcoming school year. Given your relationship with him back then, he of course didn't accept."
"But he did," Naminé had said.
"I made him. If he didn't accept, I told him I'd leave. You know, since I have Huntington's and all. I pretty much backed him into a corner: try to make a new friend or lose his best friend. Despite his suspicions, he accepted. And before you ask, no, I'm not leaving because of the bet. I'm not leaving entirely of my own will either, but when you're a minor with no family left on Destiny Islands, you kinda have to move." Xion walked from one blank wall to another. She pressed her hand against it. "Definitely didn't think I'd actually have to leave."
"So what happened with this bet?" Naminé asked bluntly.
"I won, obviously. That was supposed to be the end of it, but then I decided to buy into that hopeful bullshit people throw around. Live each day like it's your last? That's crap. It's financially irresponsible and logistically impossible unless you're loaded. Maybe that's something said by people who have no desire to travel and see the world and do a bunch of things. Anyway, I also thought it'd be better to try than not try at all. Something about having no regrets, you know?" Xion scoffed and shook her head. "What a dumb thing to say, and an even dumber thing to follow."
"You sound a little bitter," Naminé noted. Had Xion given up on life already?
"They never tell you how bad it is when you fail. All they say is that you don't want to look back and wonder 'what could have been.' They never tell you that knowing 'what will never be' is a lot worse," Xion said. "Oh, you like your best friend? Go for it! The only thing you'll have to deal with is rejection… and the knowledge that he has feelings for someone else. But at least you know you've tried, right? It's so much better than never taking that chance."
Naminé pushed herself to her feet. "I'm not going to apologize for Roxas's feelings."
"I'm not asking you to," Xion added quickly.
"And I'm definitely not going to apologize for mine," Naminé said in a low voice. "I get it. You liked him, figured it wouldn't work out, and tried to make a difference in his life. Then you thought about it more, took a chance, and failed epically. But while you were doing all that, you completely forgot that you involved another person in the entire thing. Did it even cross your mind that I had feelings too? I didn't ask to be Roxas's new friend. I didn't volunteer to be a part of your grand plan, and I definitely didn't imagine that I'd ever like him! But I guess it's my fault for stealing him and leaving you with the knowledge that he doesn't like you the way you want him to. And I definitely deserved all that glaring a week ago. But screw me, right?"
Xion tensed and looked away. Both girls stood silently for what seemed like the thickest minute of their lives.
"I don't even know what to say. I can't stand that pitiful attitude of yours. If you brought me here to join a pity party, then you'll have to excuse me for declining the invitation."
The words left Naminé's mouth in a hurry, avoiding any attempted restraint. Naminé felt strangely proud of herself for her brutal honesty. As scathing as it had been, she said exactly what she wanted. As soon as she finished, she stormed out of the room and demanded that Roxas take her home.
Perhaps she should have felt sorry for Xion and that dreadful disease that plagued her, but Naminé couldn't. Not when she was so annoyed with what happened. She was glad she agreed to see Xion. Though Roxas didn't discuss anything about the day before, Naminé had still felt like she accomplished something.
Just like the ride over, the drive back was completely silent. Naminé made sure that the last words she spoke that day were the ones that made her feel like she came out on top.
"Well I guess it's just you and me— at least for a bit," Xion said.
Roxas nodded, staring at the plane his other friend just boarded. He was glad Axel managed to put off his departure to keep the group together, but it seemed today was the limit. "Guess so." Roxas grabbed the handle of Xion's carry-on bag. "C'mon, let's get to your gate."
He and Xion took their time as they walked to another section of the airport. The past few days had passed in such a blur that Roxas questioned whether or not they actually happened, but each memory was still fresh in his mind.
"What are you smiling about? Happy to have some alone time after these past few days?" Xion asked.
Roxas shook his head. "I was actually remembering what we did last night… or was it two nights ago? It was the night we went on the boat."
"Oh, the night we almost crashed and died? Yes, I can see why that's something to smile about," Xion said with a giggle.
They traded conflicting accounts of what exactly happened that night until they arrived at the gate area. Roxas followed Xion to some seats in front of a window at an unused gate, an area secluded from the pockets of people. When Xion picked her spot, Roxas sat in the adjacent seat. They remained silent for a while, staring at the runways. A few raindrops spotted the window as a misty drizzle coated the concrete. Every so often, Roxas wondered what it'd be like to maneuver a plane into gray skies.
It wasn't long before Xion asked Roxas to buy them some drinks. He needed a coffee anyway. He and his friends spent the entire night awake, doing everything they could to make the most out of their last night together.
Something Axel said last night suddenly popped into his head. "Funny how time works, huh? If you spend your life watching, it passes slowly. But look away for a second, just one second to enjoy it with your friends, and suddenly you've lost an hour," he had said. "You can either spend the seconds counting time you've wasted, or you could be left to question if you ever got to live them at all."
It was a moment of brilliance on Axel's part, one that elicited joke after joke from Xion and Roxas. But it had its merits, and Roxas was sure he'd remember it forever. What did Xion think of it though? He considered asking her, but he probably already knew the answer. She'd make her time count and that's all she'd tell him. That, of course, meant anything.
When he was one spot away from ordering, he looked back to where Xion was sitting. To his surprise, she had her phone pressed between her hand and her resting head. By the time he returned with their coffee, she had already finished her conversation.
"Who was that?" Roxas asked as he handed her a large cup.
"None of your business," Xion chirped. "If I wanted you to know, I would've made the calls while you were sitting here."
"Come on. You don't need to keep secrets."
"Fine," Xion said and crossed her arms. "I called Riku. Told him how grateful I was, thanked him… told him I loved him."
Roxas sat up. "What?"
"Kidding. But thanks for looking so disgusted," Xion said with a laugh.
"So what'd he say?"
"Nothing. I left a voicemail. I also left a voicemail for someone else, but this time it's private," Xion said.
"Is it though?" Roxas asked with a smirk.
"It is— hey!"
Roxas snatched Xion's phone from her lap and ran behind a row of chairs. Xion stood up, but every time she tried to reach him, Roxas threatened to run in the opposite direction. "Yeah, now what are you gonna do?"
Xion huffed and sat down again. Roxas could feel her eyes on him as he unlocked her phone and attempted to look through her call logs. He was surprised to find that everything was deleted, including past text conversations.
"Are you done yet?" Xion asked casually.
Roxas looked up to see Xion scrolling through a phone. His phone. "Wait, how did you get that?" he asked, slapping his pockets as if his phone might actually still be there.
"You left it here when you got us coffee." Xion noisily sipped her drink. She crossed her legs, set the phone on Roxas's seat, and held up her hand. "Though I suppose it's more accurate to say that I took it from you while you were all glazed over and staring out the window."
Roxas tossed Xion's phone back to her and returned to his seat. After a quick inspection, they resigned to coffee and silence again. Occasionally, one of them would speak up and bounce a few topics about, but a combination of comfort and fatigue left them quiet. Just as Roxas felt himself nodding off, he felt the weight of Xion's head on his shoulder. He rested his on hers.
"I am going to be knocked out on this plane ride," Xion said with a yawn.
"That was the plan," Roxas whispered as he closed his eyes. "Do you think Axel's asleep too?"
"He's dreaming about us for sure." Xion giggled. "Hey Roxas, can I ask you something?"
"I don't see why not," Roxas replied.
"Do you still like Naminé?"
Roxas's eyes shot open. He slowly lifted his head and sat upright, but left his shoulder low enough for Xion. "That's an interesting question," he said quietly.
"It's something I want to know before I leave," Xion said.
Roxas contemplated his options, then sighed heavily. "I… yeah. Though I can't help but feel that it's superficial." Roxas scratched his nose, trying to hide his discomfort over the discussion of this sensitive topic. "I feel like an idiot for tons of reasons. I've been too afraid to call her ever since that day I brought her over to your place since she didn't say a word to me that entire ride back. There's also the fact that I… hate remembering this."
"Hate remembering what?" Xion asked, lifting her head from his shoulder so she could look him in the eye.
"Remember when Riku called me to go and see you? That happened right after I… uh, confessed," Roxas said with a cough.
"You what?"
"I confessed." Roxas brought his knees up and sank a little in his chair. "I told her I liked her and I went in for a—" Roxas winced and vigorously ran his hands through his hair. "I can't believe that happened. I can't believe I did that, and I don't want to remember that now!" The embarrassment and shame made him feel itchy all over. Why were they talking about it? Roxas wished that he could crawl into a burrow of some sort and just hide there for days.
He'd do almost anything to have that moment back, but when he thought about what he'd do instead, he wasn't quite sure. He hesitated to say that he wouldn't confess at all, but that made the whole thing mortifying in the first place. He was taken aback. What would he do differently if he got that moment back?
Xion's laugh pulled him from his musings. "Wow, nobody ever told me that part."
Roxas winced. "It's not something I want to remember." He got the feeling that Naminé felt the same way.
"That totally explains why she went full bitch mode on me!" Xion laughed loudly, much to Roxas's confusion. "Remember when I spoke with her that day you brought her over?"
"What of it?" Roxas asked cautiously.
"Well, we got into a little argument— I'll tell you about that later— and she totally came at me. But apparently I interrupted something important, so she probably doesn't hate me," Xion said.
"What the heck are you talking about?" Roxas asked.
"I didn't just tell her about Huntington's disease. We talked about other stuff too, like you, and it totally got her going. Now I understand!"
"How did I come up? And what did she say to you?" Roxas sat up, wondering if he'd need to talk to Naminé. He hoped he wouldn't have to.
"Oh, you know… I asked if you told her everything…" Xion mumbled. "It's not important. I really screwed up more than I initially thought."
"Can you please stop for a second and tell me what's going on?" Roxas asked. "Stop, take a breath, and start from the beginning."
Xion did just that. "Naminé yelled at me the last time we spoke. I may or may not have said something inflammatory involving you, but she was super pissed, so I assumed she just hated my guts. Now you're telling me that you almost freakin' kissed her, but I interrupted that. So now I guess you could say I'm relieved to find that she might not actually hate me," Xion said. "Of course she'd be pissed."
"Um, I missed that part. Why was she angry when you— oh. Oh." Roxas fell back into his seat.
Xion forced a smile. "Glad to see I didn't have to spell it out. Good for you."
"She probably doesn't think much of it now. She didn't speak a word to me either, remember?" Roxas tried to think of ways to quell the optimism swelling in his chest. Not only did Naminé ignore him on the ride home that day, but she also made no effort to contact him. She had no reason to not call him. He at least had some justification. He was too embarrassed to try.
"She never said anything about not liking you though," Xion remarked, remembering how Naminé mentioned her own feelings in their conversation. "Do me a favor after I leave and talk to her."
"Wait, why are we talking about me? You're leaving!" Roxas blinked. He actually forgot Xion would be leaving because of that conversation.
"Yup. That doesn't mean we can't talk about you though. I like talking about you."
"You mean you like watching me squirm."
"Isn't that what I said?" Xion asked with a laugh. "In all seriousness, it's a bit comforting to know that your girlfriend doesn't hate me."
"She's not my girlfriend," Roxas said sternly.
"You'd like her to be." Xion readjusted herself and faced forward. She enjoyed the silence her words brought. "Roxas, do you think that, in some alternate universe or something, Naminé and I could have been good friends?"
Roxas scratched the back of his head. "I don't see why that can't happen in this universe, so sure," Roxas answered. It seemed like a silly question.
"It wouldn't have worked here. Trust me," Xion said firmly. "She made me wonder why I ever hid this stupid disease from everyone though. I half-expected her to pity me, but she was ruthless. Yeah, that might have been because she was angry, but… still. She didn't really think it was such a big deal."
"Axel and I have been telling you that all along though. It took Naminé to convince you that hiding it wasn't worth it?" Roxas asked.
"You guys were different. Plus, she didn't convince me. She just showed that I probably could've been more open. I just didn't want anyone to tiptoe around it. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me. You know that." Xion tucked her hair behind her ear and crossed her arms.
"Riku didn't really care either, right?" Roxas noted.
"Yeah, shut up. I'm right and you're wrong."
Roxas laughed, but relented. He wanted to ask why Xion didn't think she could get along with Naminé when they seemed to click in the first few weeks of summer, but he knew Xion would avoid the topic. She seemed intent on keeping a few things from him, which only meant that he'd find out later.
They spent the remaining time talking about old memories, jumping from their most recent conquests to their first meeting. In what felt like seconds, Xion's plane began boarding passengers. They brushed off the initial announcements, knowing they'd wait for the last possible moment.
"You'll wait a day before telling everyone else that I left, right?" Xion asked as she watched people line up at the gate.
"Wait, how long am I supposed to wait again?" Roxas asked cheekily. "I didn't catch it the first nineteen times."
"I'm just making sure you remember. Your memory can be a little spotty at times," Xion teased. She grabbed one of Roxas's hands and gave it a good squeeze. "You'll talk to Naminé too, right?"
"I think that's inevitable given that her sister is dating my brother," Roxas remarked.
"Don't do anything stupid either, Roxas. I mean it." Xion looked him in the eye and gave him a hard look.
"When have I ever done something stupid?"
"Well, just this summer, you pretended to have a girlfriend to get free ice cream through a contest you technically weren't allowed to join. You also punched someone and could've been charged for it. So I don't know, Roxas. When have you ever done something stupid?" Xion asked sarcastically.
"You do know both of those things happened around Naminé, right?"
Xion snorted. "Why do you think I mentioned the two so closely together? She clearly makes you stupid."
Roxas shook his head. "Yet here you are, asking me to talk to her and stuff."
"I meant that in the most endearing way possible. She makes you all googly-eyed and weak in the knees—"
Roxas took his hand back and scowled. "Have you always been so… not funny?"
"I'm sorry. I know you're pretty smooth with the ladies," Xion said with a shrug. "Can you get my bag? It looks like the line's finally dying."
Roxas handed her the small suitcase. "You'll call when you arrive, right?"
"I'll call if I feel like it," Xion said with a nod. "Roxas, I—"
"Maybe I'll come visit a few days before school starts," Roxas said, placing his hands on his hips. "Apparently schools here start a bit later than everyone else, so make sure you tell your aunt to make room for me for like, three days or so."
Xion smiled and pulled Roxas into a hug. "Of course."
Roxas returned it just as strongly. "I'll see you soon, all right?"
"Thank you, Roxas." Xion buried her face into Roxas's shoulder. "I don't know what would have happened if I never got the chance to meet you."
"Xion—"
Xion's voice dropped into a whisper. "Take chances, Roxas. Don't be afraid to be happy. You deserve it, okay?"
Roxas felt her tremble in his arms and hugged her tighter. "Xion, I'll be fine. Don't worry."
"I love you, Roxas." Xion squeezed him even harder, tightening her grip on his shirt. "I mean it. I love you, Roxas."
The words seemed to leave a gaping hole in his chest. For a short moment, he couldn't breathe. The meaning of Xion's words sank in and he loosened his hug in surprise.
Xion quickly pulled away and spoke before Roxas could say anything. "Be happy for me, okay? Do it for me."
Roxas held her shoulders, his eyes searching hers. "Xion, are you—"
The moment was so fast that Roxas almost believed it didn't happen. In one swift motion, Xion leaned forward and pressed her lips to his cheek. Slowly, her warm hand dropped from his face as her lips departed. "Good-bye, Roxas."
She turned. She had only taken a few steps before Roxas caught her wrist. "Xion, I… I didn't know. I…" Roxas squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. Why couldn't he say something? Why couldn't he find the words? He screamed for his mind to say anything.
"Roxas…" Xion turned around to face him. "Do you think that, in some other universe or something, it could have been you and me?"
Roxas swallowed hard. He sighed, let go of Xion's arm, and smiled. "Yeah. It might have been."
"Just not here, right?" Xion asked with a sad laugh. "You'll be better off now. Thanks again for everything."
Roxas watched her walk to the gate. Just as the person in front of her passed through, he called out to her. "Xion! I'll see you soon, okay?"
She turned to face him and shot him a smile. "Don't come if you don't have a bunch of stories. And next time we meet, introduce me to your girlfriend properly!"
Roxas stood at a distance, his eyes lingering on Xion as she entered the plane.
Naminé's phone lit up again. She grabbed it this time, but before she could check the notification, her sister entered her room in a hurry.
"I'm going to bother Riku at work with Sora. You wanna come with us?" Kairi asked with car keys in hand.
"No thanks. I'm tired and I'd rather stay here."
"Tired of being mopey you mean?" Kairi asked.
"What?"
"What?" Kairi parroted innocently.
"I said I was tired, Kairi," Naminé answered curtly. She wasn't in the mood for her twin's games. "Just go do whatever it was you were going to do."
"Fine. If you want to be all lonely and woe-is-me, go ahead. You've been like this for days, Naminé, and if that's how you want to spend the rest of our time here, then I won't get in your way." Kairi left the bedroom before poking her head back in. "Oh, and just so you know, Riku and Sora are coming over after. If you could fix your face, that'd be great."
Naminé rolled her eyes and changed her frown into a tight-lipped line. Kairi was annoying when she was right.
Naminé didn't quite understand why she felt like she did something wrong. The last time she saw Roxas and Xion, she felt like she had won. She was an unwilling player in a game and called out the game master. It had been so satisfying to finally go through with a verbal thrashing, but the memory of her actions made her sick.
Pushing the queasiness aside, Naminé glanced at her phone. To her surprise, she had two notifications: one of a missed call, and another being a voicemail. Both were from an unrecognized number. Naminé allowed the message to play.
"Hey Naminé, it's Xion. I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from, but I need to apologize for what I said and did a couple nights ago. You… you were right, and I'm sorry I was— I was all over the place that day. I was mad at the world for making him suffer before he died. I was mad that I had to see him buried. I shouldn't have called you out to come meet me, and I definitely shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. That was unfair.
"I hope you'll eventually forgive me. And… and I know I'm in no position to ask, but consider this the last time I ever bother you. I need you to do me a favor. When I leave, will you take care of Roxas for me? I know he'll be okay in time, but I don't want him to be lonely. So that's why I'm asking you. You know what I want for him, and you definitely make him happy whether he'll admit it or not. Just please make sure he isn't lonely. I'm sure he'll return the favor. Um, thanks for hearing me out. Despite everything that happened, I'm glad I got to meet you."
A familiar feeling began to tingle within Naminé. It was the same one she got when her sister apologized to her, or when her mother scolded her for something she supposedly did wrong. It was the intersection of a grudge, reluctant acceptance, and an unshakeable guilt fighting for dominance.
She tried to ignore it all and buried her face in her pillow. She didn't have a single reason to feel guilty. She wasn't at fault for anything.
Then again, Xion was probably far from her usual self, what with her father's death and everything. Naminé winced. Even if she had said exactly what she wanted, perhaps she could have waited a day or two— or five, maybe— before telling Xion off. That meant, however, that whether or not she was too harsh was still up for debate. The more she thought about it, the more awful it seemed to chew out a grieving teenager who spent years watching a loved one die slowly, which simultaneously reminded said teenager of a similar fate in the imminent future.
The more Naminé thought, the more it seemed that she was wrong. She stood up and began pacing. She wasn't wrong. When looked at objectively, she was used by Xion as a way of repaying a perceived debt. So why didn't that get rid of the guilt? It needed an explanation. The fact that there wasn't one only frustrated Naminé to hair-pulling degrees.
Naminé stopped in front of her closet. She couldn't take it anymore. Throwing the door open, Naminé dragged a large plastic storage container from the corner of her closet. She threw the lid aside and stared at the contents.
It had been a while since she needed to put herself on a canvas. It was time to break out the old paint.
Roxas felt it earlier, but he didn't truly know that he would not see Xion again until he watched her plane take off.
Perhaps that was a bit dramatic. He'd probably see Xion again in the future. What was certain, however, was that it wouldn't be anytime soon. The fact that she held feelings for him may have slipped past him, but he knew her well enough to at least realize she was going to put some distance between them. The excessive gratitude gave it away. Maybe he could quantify the time that she'd need with the amount of thank-you's she threw at him.
The emptiness was back, only bigger this time. Breathing became a bit harder when Axel left, and with Xion gone, Roxas wondered if she took with her his ability to inhale and exhale in a regular pattern. They were gone. Both of them, gone. For the first time in his life, Roxas experienced something he had only heard about before.
Loneliness. So this is loneliness, he thought. There was no bitterness or anger or depression. Even envy was absent. No, loneliness was a vacuum. It was noiseless and lightless and numbing, and it enveloped him in a shroud of isolation. The mere lack of presence was unnerving enough. What happened to that feeling of comfort? It didn't need to be warm. It didn't need to produce the sound of a light breath, nor did it have to carry a familiar scent. It just needed to be there.
But it wasn't. Roxas found himself standing outside and, one at a time, his senses returned to him. First came the salty air, its moisture a welcomed presence in his drying mouth. Then came the dull warmth of a tropical rainstorm, its humid touch running along his previously sensationless skin. Gasoline, watery vegetation, and cigarette smoke came next, mixing together to fill his lungs. Finally, the sights and sounds of his surroundings hit him at the same time. The sticky sound of rubber on wet concrete covered the rest of the noises like a bandage, only to be ripped off as the tires passed by. Conversations were left in the wounded wake, and Roxas began to pair the voices with faces. How different the world seemed to be for these people. Smiles and reunions were everywhere around him.
He must have been at the arrival area.
He ignored it all— he tried to ignore it, at least— and crossed the street. No matter. Roxas walked to the parking garage and eventually found his car. His eyes glanced toward the departure area but didn't linger. So he left, two friends short than when he arrived.
"You look like hell."
Naminé looked away from the canvas on the floor and spotted Kairi standing at the sliding door. "Am I crazy?" she yelled over the rain.
"You're standing in a rainstorm and throwing paint at the ground. Are you seriously asking?" Kairi yelled back. She stepped into the backyard but remained under the awning.
Naminé picked up the canvas and showed it to her sister. "I'm not throwing it at the ground. What do you think?"
"It's a hot mess of colors. Is that tempera?" Kairi asked. "It doesn't really take rainfall well."
Naminé looked at the canvas and shrugged. "Guess so." She tossed the canvas aside and picked up what was left of her old paint bottles. "I think I need a shower," she said as she joined her sister under cover.
"The blues and greens really suit you though." Kairi looked her sister up and down and shook her head. She reached just inside the doorway and pulled a towel off a nearby counter. "Dry up a little before walking in the house, please. Then you can explain why you're in crazy town."
Naminé dried just enough so that she wouldn't drip much and took a straight route to her bathroom. Kairi followed after her twin, wiping up any mess left on the floor. Kairi even took it upon herself to gather Naminé's wet and painted clothes and toss them in the washer.
The hot shower seemed to clear Naminé's mind on impact. The painting, as usual, helped her out of her initial rut. There was nothing quite like splashing cheap paint on a blank canvas and making a mess of things. It blended both artistry and childishness for her. Sure, she had no bearing on technique, but splashing colors around at least got the bad thoughts out of her mind.
When was the last time she splashed paint everywhere? It must have been when they decided to move from Destiny Islands to Radiant Garden. She had been so angry back then and threw a tantrum like a spoiled child.
Then again, today wasn't any better. When she arrived at the root of this particular problem, it revolved around a boy.
"So, picture this: you walk into your house with your best friends and you're looking for your whiny sister. You call out, but don't get an answer. Then the sliding glass door leading to the backyard catches your eye. Why are the blinds open? You go to investigate and, lo and behold, your twin sister is squeezing paint straight from the bottle onto what you think is the ground. What do you do in my position?" Kairi asked from the other side of the shower curtain.
"Are you in the bathroom?" Naminé asked.
"You probably wouldn't have done it for me, but I told Riku and Sora to wait in my room while I got a towel and tranquilizer ready. Granted, I didn't have any tranquilizers, but I figured some medicine to make you drowsy would also work. Anyway, had I known you were going to go paint crazy, I would have stayed home."
"I needed to think. I needed to be alone too. Besides, you're supposed to be making the most out of the summer here. One does not simply stress paint without stress," Naminé said.
"And what was your reason?"
"Honestly, Roxas was." Naminé scrubbed her arms and hands, spending extra time to take the paint off her fingernails.
"See? I told you she was thinking of him."
Naminé raised a brow. She pulled the shower curtain aside to take a look. "Who are you talk— Kairi!"
"Hey, Naminé!" Sora greeted casually.
"Kairi!"
"What?" Kairi crossed her legs from her seat on the toilet. "Don't yell at me. Yell at Sora."
"Sora!"
"Naminé," he replied just as calmly as his greeting.
The door to the bathroom opened with a click. "All right, Kairi. I got her clothes. Her underwear wasn't where you said it'd be though."
"What?" Naminé shrieked. "Is that Riku? You had Riku go through my clothes?" Naminé groaned.
"Yes," Riku replied immediately.
"He didn't go through anything. What he did was a favor. You should thank him," Kairi said.
"Is this real life? Is this really happening right now?" Naminé mumbled to herself.
"So is this what girls do on a regular basis? It's actually pretty fun. No wonder you people always go to the bathroom in packs," Sora said with an approving tone.
"I don't know. It's pretty humid in here. Not really my thing," Riku countered.
"Guys, get out." Naminé waited until she heard the bathroom door close before peeking around the curtain. Her sister sat on the toilet cover with an expectant look. "I can't believe you let them in here."
"You seemed lonely. Was I right?" Kairi asked.
"Yes, you are. I needed time for myself." Naminé continued showering, quickly lathering herself with soap.
"You're not leaving once you get dressed?"
Naminé paused. "I'm not lonely, but I know someone that might be. What do you know, Kairi?"
"Enough to know what's going on," Kairi said with a sigh. "You must care a lot about this person."
"Yeah. I've accepted that too." Naminé waited for her sister to tease her, but nothing came. Before she knew it, she was spilling her guts to Kairi.
Naminé told everything, including what she said to Xion that night. She sorted her feelings into colors and smeared it all over the place. Doing that made it easier to talk to Kairi. It helped her see the stupidity of her problem as well. Somewhere along the lines, she had made a contest out of nothing. She had become obsessed with beating Xion, but at what? Why did it matter so much that she one-up Roxas's best friend? When did it become so important to win Roxas over?
The revelation was a slap in the face because it didn't matter.
She thought she had been used by Xion, but she got something out of it in the end. She had a new friend in Roxas, and perhaps something more. Rather than getting upset over the fact that she never asked for the change, she should have been glad that she didn't have to ask at all. Naminé realized that things were better now than they were before she even arrived on Destiny Islands, and it certainly didn't give her a reason to be angry.
If Riku's call hadn't come just moments before Naminé kissed Roxas, perhaps she could have avoided the entire debacle. Instead of thinking it over, she let her newfound feelings dictate her actions. The last time her feelings led to destructive consequences was also the last time she pulled out the "venting" paint. That happened to be the day she learned that they would be moving to Radiant Garden.
At least she got to apologize to her parents for throwing a tantrum. She didn't know if she'd ever get the chance with Xion.
Either way, she was going to see Roxas. If she really did have the ability to cheer him up, if only a little, then she was going to try. Heck, she needed him too. The fact that she hadn't seen or spoken to him in three days might have been half the reason why she was being what Kairi described as "mopey" and all.
Naminé finished dressing by the time her conversation with her sister ended. "I don't know when I'll be back, but you'll probably have to order takeout or have one of the guys cook," Naminé said as she checked the light makeup on her face.
"Don't worry about me, Nam." Kairi handed keys over to her twin. "If things aren't going well, bring him over, okay?"
"I will," Naminé said. "See you later."
Roxas knew the call probably wasn't coming, but it still hurt when he finally accepted it. Half an hour after Xion's plane was supposed to land, Roxas tried to contact her. The number was no longer available. After a cursory search through social media sites, it seemed Xion disconnected from there as well. With a sigh, Roxas fell back into bed.
He should have known. Why didn't he see it? The signs were right in front of him, but he ignored them simply because Xion denied them. How could he call himself her best friend when he didn't understand the most obvious facet of their relationship? Roxas cringed.
He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell Xion how awful he felt for not noticing. He even reached a point where he almost felt bad for liking Naminé, who probably wanted nothing to do with him after everything that had happened. Everything would have been easier had he just opened his eyes.
Roxas heard his father greet someone downstairs. He paid it no mind until he heard footsteps on the staircase and a knock on his door. Slowly, he got up and opened the door.
"Naminé?" he asked in shock.
"Your dad let me in. He was a little more than surprised to hear that I was here to visit you, to say the least," she said with a laugh.
Roxas fought back a smile. As far as his parents knew, he and Naminé were still butting heads. He shook his head. That wasn't important. "Uh, what are you doing here?" he asked. His hands flew to his mouth. "I mean, did you drive here in the rain?" he blurted. Fantastic. Of all the things he could have said, he questioned her appearance at his house.
"It wasn't bad. You should have a bit more confidence in your student," she said.
"Oh. Right."
There was a moment of silence. "Um, how are you holding up?"
"I-I've been fine. I've been pretty good. I actually meant to talk to you, but there were things… and stuff." That was the end of the line. Roxas wanted nothing more than to press a reset button and start from the top. Since that was impossible, every cell in his body screamed for him to run and hide from the awkwardness he was creating.
"I get it. You were busy. Naminé walked into his room and sat at his desk.
Roxas stayed at the doorway. What the heck was going on? "Uh…"
Naminé buried her face in her hands and groaned loudly. "I'm sorry. I came here thinking I could help, but this is painfully awkward."
For the first time since Xion left, Roxas felt a laugh bubble past his lips. "I'm partially to blame. I wanted to talk to you, but I don't know where to start," Roxas said as he returned to his bed.
"Then let's start with you. Are you really okay?"
"Given everything that's happened, I'm pretty well off. Kinda sucks that Xion has done everything in her power to disconnect herself from me though," he said.
"I assume she told you how she felt?"
"Wait, how do you know?" Roxas asked. His mood began to sink again. "Don't tell me it was that obvious."
"I learned a lot the last we spoke. You can… you can imagine why that ended the way it did." Naminé focused her sights on a corner of the room.
"Oh… right." Roxas blushed.
"But you're really okay?" Naminé asked, refocusing the conversation. "If I were you, I'd at least feel a little lonely."
"Well, you're here, at least for now. How could I be lonely?" Roxas smiled sadly. "Though I do wish Xion wasn't ignoring me."
Naminé walked over to the bed and sat beside Roxas. "She probably needs space. She's your best friend. She can't possibly go that long without at least talking with you."
"I guess." Roxas closed his eyes and felt a light touch on his back. He tensed at first, but gave in to the soothing feel.
"Need to cry about it?" Naminé asked.
"Already did. I sat in my car and cried like a little girl for a good half hour." Roxas pressed his palms to his eyes and chuckled. "Naminé, I—"
"I already said we'll talk about it later," Naminé said as she lightly squeezed the back of his neck. "For now, just try and fathom how awesome I am for being such a great friend and showing up. A-Anyway, you're welcome to come over my place. Riku and your brother are probably cooking something up for Kairi, and if you want the extra company—"
"No. It's fine just like this." Roxas leaned his head on Naminé's shoulder and sighed. She smelled just like he did that evening in her studio. "I'll stay here."
After getting over the initial shock, Naminé giggled. She brushed at his hair tickling her nose, but allowed him to stay where he was. "If that's what you want, then I'll stay too."
One night was all it took for Naminé to make up with Roxas. Despite spending more than a few hours together, they never even approached the topic of what they almost did in her studio. Even so, Naminé left with a smile on her face. There were still a few conversations they needed to have, but for now, it was enough just talking with him.
Over the next few days, Roxas doubled his normal work hours to make up for the time he had skipped. Being surrounded by kittens and other animals was probably the biggest reason, but Naminé didn't complain. He probably welcomed the distraction.
She and Kairi spent most of their time cleaning every inch of the house, which was one of the few conditions involved when their mother allowed them to stay. When they weren't cleaning, they were making their polite, but obligatory, visits to their parents' friends. The amount of things they were told to bring back would have required another suitcase had they not already planned on leaving some clothes behind.
For both Kairi and Naminé, every spare moment was spent with their friends. Before either of them realized, the last days of their summer vacation finally arrived.
Redeeming Endeavor: It has certainly been a while. It's weird to think how much has changed since my last update, and I suppose that's a sign that I took far too long. I promised to finish this story though, so consider this chapter as a sign that I'm back from an unannounced hiatus. I'll resume the blog on Monday.
I'll be happy to answer any questions you guys might have. Though, let me thank you for reading this far. For starters, it's been more than half a year (WHAT), and secondly, this chapter was atrocious. I'm going to make sure this story finishes with higher quality chapters. You can hold me to that.
I'd also like to thank Lupus7, Versivalia, Revenge of the Red Pen, Polymoly, Tenshi Yami- Angel of Darkness, StattStatt, yoursoulsmile, Brown Eyed Sage, SummonerDagger88, Morbidly Bored, ChosenOne37, StrawberryGirlKairi, Kuroiikawa, CJ122, elspoek1, spadejackspade, EnterAbyss2991, animeluv3, monkmonkeys, KurukiXV, LightningGemini, alwaysmile, Justice333, livelaughlove87878, dreamingleaf7, PatheticalyInLove, Aldergrace, Guest, Soul of Me, Gumi Harue, Pili1995, kingdomheartsoverload, Caramelized, GummyDrive, Sookdeo, Naivette, Ash09, Omega, California Sandwich, NightmaresInNeurosis, Allied Forces, kirbyisawesome, Paopu Fruits and Sea-salt Bars, Namiroku, AntiShips, T3rran, random spacer, soluvepink, pendingLife, FromSoraXWithLove, xXkairiheartsXx, Ynna, Xerzo LotCN, Emperor Xirchs, aki arashi, tackytanz, Bebe17, ohnoitisKatie, Marionette of Ancient Relics, Solarr-Eclipse, Kazernsky, Stonekipsta, PumpedUpKyx, Ayame, Hankxlo, JustAnotherCrazyFangirl, chrizzle88, candybear24, lolqueen, one in a million, A fan (that was really nice of you!), anonymous reader, shadowwulfx, this person, PantiesOnFire, GengaJupite, Bacon, anise w, The sign painter, BerserkerNobody, AA, Ohwanderlust, xxxHikari-Kuraixxx (that was wonderful!), kenzakisora, and Damn Frustrated.
Will you look at that list? After reading all those reviews again, I reminded myself of all the people I let down. Ugh. You guys say the nicest things, and I go and take a break for half a year. Freaking terrible.
Anyway, let me thank anyone who also added me or LPA to their favorites or subscriptions. They make me really happy, especially considering that this story went months without update.
Harmless Author Fact #23: My childhood fascination -I feel like everyone I've ever met had one- was outer space. I had a short dinosaur phase too, but anything having to do with the universe was more amazing to me (and I never got dinosaur-themed bedsheets/decorations for my room like I did with outer space).
Chapter Data- Word Count: 7741. Total Editing Time: 1316 minutes.
Like I said, I'll be happy to answer any questions you guys might have. I'm back, and I'm here to finish this story.
Take care. I'll see you around.