XIII.
A Near Mistake

Two days had passed. How long had they been on this island now? Mary couldn't remember anymore. She just knew that she had never been starved for the rat way that was Nassau. It had never seemed more civilized to her. She had never longed so for the jungle that was Tulum. It had never seemed more like home to her. She only wanted to go home, no matter what the cost. She wanted off this forgotten scrap of land, she just wanted to rest – on a proper bed, with proper blankets with more than her arm for a pillow - with more than Edward's chest for a pillow. She had woken up every morn since the Incident (she refused to call it the Kiss, less she forget to keep up her guard) cuddled against Edward's chest. He would always have an arm around her waist, holding her gently. He had been awake both mornings so far, apparently lost in thought while Mary slumbered not-so-peacefully in his arms.

So, today she was fishing for crabs again, but not having much luck. She was frustrated, irritated and she kept thinking back to the Incident and well…the consequences of it. In short, Mary felt guilty for having kissed Edward. He started it, but she allowed it for a few good moments until she came to her senses. Now he wouldn't let the damn thing go. She was onto him. Onto how he tried to let his hands linger on her, he was trying to seduce her but she would have none of it! She wasn't a typical woman, couldn't he see that? So she avoided him, so that he couldn't try his damn tactics on her while her guard was weak.

She sighed, trying to focus. She lunched for a crab, just missing its leg. She stumbled in the slick sand and fell practically face first into the ocean. She coughed up the salt water and made her way back to shore, getting sand stuck to her for all her troubles. She resisted the urge to rub at her face, as she would only get some sand stuck there.

"You okay, Mary?" Great, just great, it was Edward. Come to bother her again! As he circled around her however, she could only see concern on his face. His beard had grown even scruffier in their time here. She looked up at him and just frowned. She didn't answer him though. "Mary, you've been…odd since the other day" He intentionally avoided saying the exact activity they had done and what it had almost – almost – evolved into. He seemed to know how uncomfortable she was with it. "You've been talking in your sleep too."

"What?" Now she answered him. He hadn't said that before. What had she said?

"You grumble – I noticed that on the Jack but I haven't been able to understand a word…until the other night." He gave her a sad look, a pitying look. "I…I try not to listen but you wake me up in the morns."

"Sorry…" She grumbled, dropping her eyes. She didn't want to know what she said, not with the look he was giving her. A sad look. A sorry look. Like he understood what she was feeling at all. He was silent for a long moment, wondering if she would say anything else, but she had nothing else to say. She wasn't going to ask.

"You didn't say anything…revealing. You just keep saying…'sorry'" He said finally. She didn't want to say it, but that's sounded about right. That sounded like what she would say. It coincided with her guilty feelings. "Mary…"

"Shut up, Kenway. I don't need your pity or your help. I make do just fine" She looked up at him, her fierce brown eyes meeting his almost sad blue ones. Her expression wavered for a moment, remembering the familiar expression. She looked away, feeling the pain bubble up in her chest.

"I don't pity you and I can accept that you don't want my help, aye but, Mary…I do worry for you"

"I don't need your worry either" She snapped, standing. She drew herself to her full height, only a few inches shorter than Edward himself. "I don't need nothing from you"

"Nor any other man is it?" She was silent at that. "Nor anyone. Mary, you aren't…"

"Alone? I'm not stupid, Edward. I know that" She scoffed.

"Then why do you keep all that inside you?"

"All that what?" She started to storm away. He grabbed her arm, his hand slipping to her wrist. She spun around ready to fight with him. The expression on his face stopped her and bitter words she had been planning to spit at him died in her throat. It was so somber and sad that it sucked the breath right out of her, evaporating the anger.

"All that pain." She was silent, his words making her mute. "Aye, I see it, Mary. I didn't really see it before, but I see it now. You're in pain. I may tease you, but I am your friend and if someone hurt you or something, I'd kill 'em. I would. You're…" He let the sentence die. They were both silent. He didn't let go of her arm. Finally she let out a shaky laugh.

"I see you've spent too many days on this island now. You're starting to go soft on me, Kenway." She spoke softly. His hand squeezed her wrist gently, comforting in presence. He let her go then and her arm swung back to her side.

"Soft in some parts that should be hard, eh?" She sighed and rolled her eyes, shaking her head at him. Of course, he would take it back down that path. She smiled though. She had a feeling that was what he was aiming for. She crossed her arms lightly over her chest.

"Aye, maybe next you should work on that hard head of yours"

"I've got parts you could work on"

"Don't you wish, Kenway?" She quipped and she walked away, heading to the corner of the island to sit and stare at the sea. She walked around him and he turned to watch her walk away. She ignored him and found her way to the water's edge. She should try to catch some crabs again but she couldn't find it in her heart to wade back into the water.

She stared out at the water, thinking of The Incident. It wasn't a bad thing; not really, it showed that Mary was human as the next person. She made mistakes, she'd have some regrets. The dreams she was having though were troublesome. She was dreaming of a man most dear to her, one she still dreamed of often, but not like this.

In truth, Mary Read had little control of her life, of how it went. She followed a path that had been carved out for her. She had so little control, it had once felt like her life was spiraling out of control; lie after lie, it built a column on anger on which Mary stood. She was close to becoming self-destructive when he had come into her life, blew away everything that she knew and…Well, she had made her first real life-changing choice. Her mother should have been happy, but she hadn't, because Mary had been.

What of Edward then? If she did ever decide to…

No, no, no. Mary was not ever going to think on that. That was just…crazy. No, it was the island fever getting to her that was all. Usually she wouldn't even think about a man like Edward. He was a fool who only cared for gold and rum.

That's not true… She told herself.

He spoke often, the annoyance of Hornigold and Thatch, about going home to get a plot of land and being a man of means. They thought he just had a girl he was sweet on, but Mary knew the truth of that. He had a woman he considered his wife waiting for him. Ex-wife perhaps, considering she had left him 'some time ago', though Mary had never asked how long. She guessed she understood him missing her, though, by Benjamin's claims, he could have any Betty he wanted here and now. Well not here or now. Mary wouldn't allow herself to be had by Kenway and that was just the end of that.

All these thoughts were beginning to make her head pound a little so she figured she might as well quit them for now. She flopped back in the warm sand, staring up at the blue sky. How much longer were they going to remain here? She might just go mad…

Night was beginning to fall and they had their dinner. They sat, laughing and talking, for once not fighting and screaming at each other. It felt good, much better than their fighting. Safer than their fighting too, as Mary thought at least.

She stood though, stretching. "I'll retire." She said simply. Edward stood as well, clearly planning to follow her into the hull. She didn't mind, as they usually went in at the same time anyway. He stood very close to her though and that bothered her a little bit. With the flicker of the fire, she could almost forget her restrictions.

As she reached the hull, she stopped and Edward ran into her and she stumbled into the hull, him into her and she just wanted to forget her restrictions. She just wanted…Well, she wondered if casting everything aside for one night would be so bad. Really? What was the point of remaining so strict? There were women she saw who weren't so strict and they didn't' suffer for it. Well…some did. She doubted that one night, a single night, would lead to that for her.

"Mary?" Edward's voice stirred her from her thoughts. Her whole body felt tense and she chewed on her cheek. Should she? Could she? Should she?

"Edward, I…" She turned around but he seemed to sense what she was going to say because he had her up against the hull again, his body against her's. His fingers hungrily explored her body, tracing against her from overtop her clothes.

He certainly didn't waste time and while he was half naked already, he was already unbuttoning her shirt. It was clear he intended to have her here and now. His mouth dipped and she felt herself sigh. There was a sound that she almost recognized, like wood hitting the hull. Wood? Probably drift wood. She was too intent on Edward and the feelings he pulled out of her body. Then there was a loud splash followed by two others.

"Captain? Captain Kenway?"

"This is the ship we hunted down, I'm sure…"

Shit! Mary thought, panic flooding through her system.

"Bloody hell! What imperfect timing…hell." Edward muttered, looking behind him. "Get in the hull. Get yourself presentable, I'll stall them" She didn't need to be told again. He moved away from her, walking around the ship. She climbed into the hull and dropped silently inside and went to seek out her clothes. "Oi! Lads! You coming for me at last?"

"Captain! You're alive!"

"Didn't expect me to die out here did you?" He laughed.

"Where's Master Kidd?"

"Sleeping in the hull." There was a knock on the wall of the hull. She scrambled to get herself presentable. She had to look like she had been stranded but at the same time, she had to look like a man. She put her hair up, but left it a bit mess and she smeared some dirt on her face, though it was already quite dirty. She had to slip her corset on and she quickly put on the worn over shirt she had taken from the dead Templar. "Kidd! Kidd!" She heard Edward calling.

"Keep your trousers tied!" She called out, hoping she sounded annoyed and groggy.

"So you are awake in there?" She heard Edward call. She climbed out and dropped down, looking at the two men standing by the rowboat.

"Ah, good, you're both alright, though a bit worse for the wear" The men had a good laugh. Edward looked a little annoyed, his moment interrupted by them. "Let's get you two back to the Jack. Sure you could use a good night's rest and some well cooked food." And that sounded very good to Mary.

The four of them gathered Edward and Mary's things from the hull. Once everything was gathered and Mary felt safe in her coat once more, they set off towards the Jack which was sitting just away from the island, bobbing in the water. They climbed back aboard and Ade clasped Edward on the shoulder.

"I never thought I'd lay eyes on you again, Captain!" He smiled and then turned to her. He clasped her on the shoulder as well. "You as well Master Kidd."

"It's good to be back on a ship, Ade." She replied. "Edward, what will happen now? I do have business in Nassau if you'd be so inclined to head that way?"

"Nassau you say?" Edward seemed to be thinking about that. "Sounds like my type of holiday after such a misadventure." He looked towards Ade. "Let's start off towards Nassau. I'm going to get some grub, some grog and into some decent clothes. I'm sure Master Kidd is of much the same mind" He gave her a rough pat on the back.

"Aye, Captain. I'll be at the helm until you return"

"You plan on sailing into the night?" Mary asked him as they began to head to the lower level of the ship.

"Aye. If you'll trade off with me in the morning, I plan to sail all night"

"Oh? You're going to let me sail your precious Jackdaw?" She asked, a bit of humor in her voice.

"I suppose so. Just don't run her aground" She rolled her eyes at that. Like she would run his ship aground. He stopped, grabbing her arm. "Listen, I'll get you some warm water and you can take it back to my quarters and try to wash some of the grime off. I'm going to get some grub and grog and then…"

"You aren't joining me Edward." She staid stiffly.

"You had different ideas on the island" His voice was low now so no one would overhear.

"I wasn't in my right mind" But everything tightened inside her in response to his words. It wouldn't kill her to lay with him once – but it had been different when they had been stuck on the island.

"Bah!" He spat and turned and stormed towards the kitchen. She stood there, awkwardly. She didn't know what to do, knowing he was annoyed with her. A few minutes later he came back, a bowl with a rag in it in his hands. "Are you coming?" He had a sour tone but she followed after him.

They went to his private quarters and he closed the door behind her. She walked away from him, out of arm's reach. "I meant my words Edward."

"I know you did" He said, making a face.

"Edward…a relationship like that…"

"Who said I wanted a relationship?" He snorted.

"I'm not going to get fucked over by you Edward." Literally.

There was a very good reason that Mary avoided sex. Pregnancy. Being a woman, that was a risk. Edward didn't have to worry about that at all. Any Betty who found herself up in the duff would find a way to take care of herself but Mary couldn't afford that. She wouldn't be able to keep pretending to be James Kidd if she were carrying and she'd have to stop her duties as an Assassin. Nope, becoming quick with child was the last thing she wanted and that meant avoiding sex – no matter how that might fray on her nerves sometimes.

"Mary…" He started but he stopped and made an unreadable face. It was somewhere between annoyance, anger and acceptance. He just shook his head and left the room. She waited and then locked the door.

She shed what clothes she felt comfortable with and used the water to clean herself off a little. It wasn't the thorough cleaning she needed, but it was enough to make her feel a little better. After that she spent some time fixing her hair a little and then tying it back up. She adjusted her clothes; glad to have her regular clothes back on and then unlocked the door.

She made her way back to the kitchen and found Edward there, eating. He was clean again as well, dressed in his robes. She sat down and was handed some food and some grog and she ate and drank in silence. Edward didn't talk to her until he was done. He drained his cup, putting it back down on the table.

"I'll sail until dawn and then I'll rouse you and you can sail until afternoon or so. If we sail straight there, like this we'll arrive before the week is out. We're not too far from Nassau I found"

"Mm" She took a drink. "I'm going to retire for the night, if that's okay."

"My room as usual?" He had a small smile on his face, amused. She could see he was still annoyed with her denial of him though. She couldn't help that. She had to look out for herself first in this. His feelings, his wants, his needs; they couldn't matter to her in this situation.

"Aye, Captain"

"I'll wake you when it's your turn to take the helm, Kidd" Then she got up, finishing her cup quickly and headed back to Edward's room. At least they weren't fighting as they had been. At least…She sighed, thinking of his mouth on her skin, of his fingers…She had to suppress a shudder.

She made her way into the room, shutting the door and locking it again. It just felt better to lock it. Edward clearly had a key because he had never complained thus far when she locked the door. She got herself ready to lie down and surprisingly, tonight, she had trouble falling asleep. Her thoughts bounced around, the island, Edward, her feelings towards him, his own feelings; everything over and over. She didn't know how long she lay there but eventually she found her way into her usual uneasy sleep, filled with memories she would rather forget.

A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! You've so inspired me to write and write. Expect a few chapters today for your troubles. And don't forget to review if you want even more!