When Maura walked into the morgue the next day a smile appeared instantly on her face, it was like her second home being here. Quiet, peaceful, a beautiful distraction. The Queen of the Dead was back. Entering her office the smile was quickly wiped away as she saw that all her furniture had been rearranged and pushed aside. Pike. That…bastard. Maura placed her favourite Birken bag down on the immaculately clean desk grateful that he hadn't rearranged that too, before pulling up the sleeves of her red blazer and starting to move her furniture back to where it was supposed to be sitting. A pile of her tribal masks had also been taken off the wall much to the doctors horror and stashed away very much out of sight behind her desk. Maura didn't understand why so many people didn't like them, they were very calming to look at she thought but apparently no one else did. Whilst she was dragging one of her art deco chairs back across the floor a very excited Senior Criminalist Chang came flying through the doors of her office.

"Maur- Doctor Isles you're back" she said her excitement was something that couldn't be hidden even if she tried. Maura looked up with a smile that her staff were so glad to have her return, she had feared that perhaps they had gotten used to having Pike here and so much so they wouldn't want her to return, but Jane had reassured her that no one liked Pike and that Susie and the others frequently asked about her and when she would be returning.

"I am back" she replied "I've very much missed being here"

"You were missed" Susie nodded "I missed you, the crime lab guys missed you too it's just not the same without you here"

Maura smiled and gestured at the furniture she was still in the process of moving.

"Would you mind helping me move these back? I see Pike got a little overambitious with my absence and started redecorating"

Susie nodded and they began to move her couch back by the coffee table.

"I tried to tell him that he shouldn't be moving your things" Susie admitted glancing up to see the doctors reaction.

"You did?" Maura asked, she knew Susie looked up to her but she never realised it was more than just in a professional way. Susie admired everything the medical examiner did, Maura couldn't help but feel a affection towards her.

"He didn't really listen" Susie shrugged and started helping Maura hang the masks back on her wall.

"I specifically told him not to take the masks down too" she continued "I know how much you like them, Pike is just such a…"

"Asshole?" Maura asked and Susie went pink and nodded with a awkward smile.

"Did I just hear Doctor Isles saying something inappropriate?" Jane's voice entered the room before she did and Maura bit her lip hiding an embarrassed smile.

"Technically…well technically yes" Maura admitted and Susie looked between them both before deciding that it was time for her to go.

"I'll be in the crime lab if you need me Doctor Isles" she said and headed for the door before pausing and glancing back "It's really good to have you back"

"Thank you Susie" Maura smiled and Jane lifted an eyebrow at the exchange.

"Did she hug you?" Jane asked once she was out of earshot. Maura looked at her confused.

"What?"

"I said I'd give her ten bucks if she hugged you when you got back" Jane shrugged hooking her fingers into her gun holster.

"Why would you do that?" Maura asked with a perplexing expression on her face.

"Because she loves you" Jane laughed "She literally worships the ground you walk on"

"Oh"

Jane sighed and looked around Maura's office, Maura knew she hadn't just come down here for a chat something was bothering her and she wanted to talk about it.

"Redecorating are we?" she asked clearly avoiding whatever it was that she wanted to say.

"More like tidying, reorganising, I really can't stand Pike" Maura frowned in frustration at the mere thought of her stand in M.E.

"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Maura asked hesitantly going back to her desk and noticing the giant pile of paperwork Pike had left in the middle of her desk for her with a sticky note on top reading 'You might want to review these Doctor Isles' she could almost here the sarcastic condescending tone of his voice in her head.

"I um…" Jane looked around debating whether or not to bring it up, it was Maura's first day back at work and she didn't want to be a buzz kill but she didn't know who else to talk to, and she had to talk to someone and she and Maura told each other stuff right? They did when they were best friends, which they still were it was just a little more complicated.

"Casey called…" Jane said the words barely made it out of her mouth "This morning"

Maura immediately looked irritated she raised an eyebrow and her folded her arms across her chest defensively. Jane knew she didn't want to hear any of what she was about to say but she had started now.

"He got the ring" she said swallowing hard, the lump in her throat getting bigger.

"And?"

"And he said he understood but" Jane looked down at her hands. Don't cry.

"But I could hear his heart breaking Maur, it was so awful" she shook her head and Maura knew she was struggling not to cry. She wanted to go and wrap her arms around the detective but she didn't move. She didn't want to. She couldn't bring herself to comfort the woman she loved as she cried over another man.

"Jane" Maura said her voice sounded firmer than she had expected.

"I can't do this now, I'm sorry" she said.

"Okay, yeah, sorry" Jane said shaking her head and turning away "I'll um…see you later" she said before leaving and Maura was left standing in her office, her phone suddenly started ringing jolting her from her spot where her feet had been grounded she spun around and answered her phone before even checking who it was.

"Maura" It was Hope. Shit.

"Hope" Maura said trying to sound cheery after the horrible mention of Casey.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you from your work" she said and Maura glanced at the pile of paperwork that sat drearily in front of her.

"No, not at all"

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to meet for coffee today?"

Maura's immediate thought was to say no, but several seconds of silence provided her to think clearly and she decided it would probably be a good distraction, that way she wouldn't have to have lunch with a mopey Jane and listen to her whinge about Casey more than she could endure.

"I'd love to" she answered.

Jane felt terrible stepped out of the elevator back into homicide, she shouldn't have mentioned it to Maura she should have known better. She just desperately needed to talk to someone about it but Maura had just completely shut down, and it was fair enough. Staring at the board where they had photos off their latest case which was seeming to be remarkably similar to the last one, her stare was vacant and she didn't even notice Frost coming up behind her.

"Any thoughts?" he asked and she jumped with fright.

"Whoa, you okay?" he said as she turned around and ran a hand through her dishevelled hair.

"Fine yeah" Jane said and turning back to the board. She hadn't thought about the case one bit which was strange for her, usually it would consume her thoughts until she caught the bastard that had done it, but lately she had been too distracted by everything else.

Her back had been aching all morning too, all she wanted to do was lay on the floor but being surrounded by her male co-workers she knew better than to let any sign of weakness show.

"So" Frost asked "Thoughts?"

Jane rubbed her forehead wondering if Maura was going to be mad at her for the rest of the day, she had decided to text the medical examiner and ask if she wanted to go and get lunch with hopes of smoothing out the accidental mess she caused down in the morgue but Maura had quickly replied with 'I can't sorry. Meeting Hope.' Since when did Maura willingly meet Hope? Had they suddenly bonded over Maura's head trauma? Maybe Maura's head trauma was the reason they were suddenly so close, she might have forgotten that she hadn't forgiven her biological mother yet for calling her a liar and accusing her of scamming. Jane was frustrated and she couldn't bare to be on her feet anymore, pulling up her chair she sat down with a loud sigh and Frost looked at her with an eyebrow lifted.

"I think" Jane said "I think this is looking like a double homicide, in which case the guy we arrested for Maria's murder is the wrong guy"

Frost began to shake his head in annoyance.

"That's what I was thinking too" he said "Damn it"

"It's gonna be a long day" Jane groaned staring into her empty coffee cup.

Maura met Hope at a small french cafe they had discovered that they had both adored, Hope was already inside when Maura arrived and was adorned with a glowing smile when she saw her daughter. It was true they had gotten slightly closer over Maura's time at home after her injury, Hope would regularly stop by with fresh flowers or tea and the two of them would talk, nothing serious, no overstepping they would simply enjoy each others company. It had been a Tuesday afternoon when Maura had been feeling particularly bad and Hope had arrived finding Maura in a state on the couch unable to even get herself upstairs, she had made Maura a chamomile tea and then helped the medical examiner upstairs lying her on her bed and rubbing her back soothingly until she fell asleep. It was the first motherly thing Hope had ever done for Maura, besides seeing to a stupid burn from the espresso machine Maura had gotten when she hadn't been watching what she was doing.

And now sitting across from this woman Maura felt a strange gratefulness towards her, she had been very supportive throughout Maura's recovery and she was really making an effort to make sure Maura was a part of her life. And for that Maura was glad.

"I'm sorry I hope I'm not taking you from your work" Hope said after they had ordered their coffee.

"I understand you haven't been back very long"

"Today is my first day back, actually" Maura said with a small smile.

"Oh" Hope said "Well I'm glad you had time to fit me in"

Maura just nodded her gaze becoming distant as she let herself get distracted by something out the window, Hope watched her carefully she didn't need to be told that something was bothering her daughter. That much was entirely obvious.

"Maura" she said carefully, knowing that overstepping could lead to disaster.

"Something's bothering you"

Maura's head quickly snapped back to Hope as those words filled the space between them.

"No" Maura said "I'm just thinking" she said sick of all the almost lies she was having to tell lately, it was reminding her of why she was glad she could never lie, it just caused too much drama.

Hope just smiled.

"Maura, I may not have had the privilege of watching you grow up but I do have a teenage daughter- "

"I know, Cailin, you don't have to remind me" Maura interjected and Hope just looked at her.

"I can tell when something is wrong, Maura" she said "And I want to be here for you, I want you to talk to me…please"

Maura looked at her and couldn't help but notice some of the physical resemblance between the two of them. She studied Hope's face, as the waitress bought them their coffee, she watched as Hope silently thanked the waitress with a smile then immediately refocused her attention on Maura. She came to a conclusion that Hope really did want to know, maybe this was going to be the mother-daughter moment she had been waiting all her life for, getting to talk to her mother about her love issues.

"You really want to know?" she clarified.

"Yes, I really do" Hope said sipping her coffee.

"Okay" Maura took a deep breath "It's Jane"

Hope nodded.

"I'm in love with her and I think she still likes Casey…and I sound like a complete juvenile with these petty issues" Maura said suddenly realising what it sounded like when it was said out loud, it was sounded stupid and a lot less complicated then it was in her head, she wished she had kept her mouth shut.

"Love isn't a petty issue, Maura, ever" Hope said looking directly at her and Maura braved looking up from her coffee.

"If there's anything that you take away from this conversation, or even if there's anything you take away from life it should be that love is nothing small, it's not something that should just be overlooked, love is…special, Maura"

Suddenly there were tears falling down Maura's cheeks her mothers words filling her head. Love is special. Love is special.

"Oh honey" Hope said shifting her chair around closer to Maura and slipping an arm around her comfortingly pulling her head onto her shoulder.

"Anyone would be so lucky to have you, you're amazing"

"You don't know that" Maura sobbed softly completely unembarrassed and unfazed to show such emotions in front of her mother anymore.

"I do" Hope reassured her "I do"

"I just don't know what to do" Maura said finally getting herself together and lifting her head off Hope's shoulder and wiping her tears away.

"We're just not getting anywhere and there is always this giant tower of uncertainty leaning over us, and I can't tell if she's about to run back to h-him or not" Maura looked down at her hands "I can't live without her"

"Can I suggest something?" Hope asked placing her hand over her daughters and Maura looked back up at her.

"Talk to her, Maura"

And there it was. Those three little words. The three little words she had been cowering away from for far too long.

"Tell her how you feel, it will make you feel better sweet girl" Hope brushed a stray strand of Maura's hair from her eyes gently.

"And if it doesn't?" Maura asked.

"Well then we'll have to figure something else out because you deserve to be happy" Hope said and the corners of Maura's mouth turned up slightly.

"You're a lot more helpful than I expected" she said honestly and Hope let out a small laugh.

"What are mothers for?" she said and the words hung in the air for several seconds. This woman was Maura's mother, and for the first time Maura finally felt it. She accepted it. She was ready to let Hope into her life as her biological mother.

"Thank you" Maura said quietly and Hope smiled warmly at her.

"I'm serious Maura" she said "Just talk to her"

Just talk to her. Those four little words were the only thing in Maura's head that afternoon in the morgue. She constantly kept checking her phone even though she knew there would be no new messages from Jane. She had distanced herself this morning suddenly from the detective after the mention of Casey and she thought perhaps Jane was giving her space…or something. But Maura didn't want space. Not anymore. She was finally feeling brave enough to talk to Jane, to end her frustration that had been ongoing for over the past month. One of them was going to have to bring it up and she was ready to do it. Every time the doors to the morgue opened Maura would glance up, hoping it was going to be Jane but it never was. Finally she picked up her phone and texted Jane.

Interesting new lab results are in.

She knew that would be enough to get the detective down here, and sure enough within several minutes the messy haired brunette walked through the doors.

"God I hope this is good" Jane said glancing at Maura who seemed particularly on edge.

"Actually…" Maura said nervously fidgeting "I lied"

"What?"

"I…"

"No I heard you" Jane said and squinted at Maura's neck and chest "You will get hives Doctor Isles you know that right?"

"That doesn't matter" Maura sighed "I need to talk to you" she said and her hazel eyes suddenly wore a determined focus as they looked straight at Jane.

"Okay" Jane nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry about earlier" Maura started but Jane quickly interrupted.

"I'm sorry too Maur, I shouldn't have bought it up I feel terrible, I've made such a mess, it's just he's such a good guy, he deserves so much better and- "

"Jane, stop" Maura shut her eyes shaking her head a sudden anger building inside of her. Jane immediately stopped talking when she heard the vexation in Maura's voice.

"We can't…we can't do this anymore" Maura tried to stop her voice from shaking, she could barely face looking at Jane but she made herself, she had to be strong. She had to end this madness that she had been fighting with everyday in her head.

"It's obvious you still have some unresolved feelings for Casey and that's understandable, I get it, you were going to marry him and then you weren't, he chose his job over you but I can't keep doing this" she said her heart was hammering in her chest as she spoke the words just tumbling out of her mouth in a wild messy abundance of truth, she could see Jane's expression growing more and more concerned, more and more worried.

"I've been living in my head Jane, trapped, for the past god knows how long and I just can't do this anymore. We've been going round and round in circles and it's not much of a life, not for me"

She took a deep breath daring to make eye contact with Jane, forcing herself not to be entirely overcome with emotions, but there were no tears, she had no tears left right now. All she wanted was this frustration to leave her body, she wanted her mind to finally be settled, the complication needed to stop, now.

"Maura…" Jane spoke finally her voice was strained and thick.

"No, no, it's over with Casey, he's gone, I just…I feel bad that I hurt him, that I cheated on him, but I don't feel bad that I cheated on him with you" Jane struggled with her words almost overcome with emotion at Maura's sudden confrontation.

"That doesn't make sense Jane" Maura frowned her arms folding themselves across her chest. Jane just looked at her, with those same beautiful brown troubled filled eyes, the same longingness and complication strewn across her face. It was a look Maura had gotten so used to, it was a look she had grown to love. The troubled Jane Rizzoli. But there was something else behind those eyes now too, something Maura had only thought she had seen once or twice, but in an entirely different context it made Jane look entirely different.

"I'm scared, Maura" the words fell from Jane's lips and a tear escaped the brunettes eye falling down her cheek as she looked at Maura with terrified eyes. Those two words lingered in the air, it took a moment for Maura to catch them. She was scared. Scared. Just like Maura.

"I'm scared too" Maura answered her voice was small, but the only thing that filled the entire room. The two of them stood meters away from each other surrounded by their words in a strange void of the inevitable truth. It was exhilarating and terrifying and nothing else mattered in that moment other than the two of them, everything else fell away, was dismissed and locked out. It was just Jane and Maura and the words that needed to be said.

"I'm scared that I fell into you too fast and that I might ruin everything" Jane whispered.

"I love you" Maura said and all of everything Jane thought she knew was suddenly gone, all she could hear was her heartbeat and those three words.

"I love you" Maura said it again "And I'll always love you, but you? You might fall out of love with me in a day, or a year or maybe you won't but I can't bare to lose you. I'll love you forever" Love is special the words flooded Maura's head. It was the only thing she could think of, love was special and she loved Jane. Those words needed to be said, she needed to say them out loud to Jane and as soon as she had the relief she had been begging for had conquered her body, the heaviest weight was lifted from her shoulders as the undeniable, overdue, inevitable truth was finally released from its tight constrains in her head where it had been kept captive for as long as she could remember.

"Maura, I- " Jane stared at her the three little words still floating in the void of space between them. Jane wanted to keep hearing them, over and over again. It was the best feeling in the world.

"It's okay" Maura said softly "You don't have to say it, I get it, I love you but it's just not as simple as that. There's too many what if's, what if you don't love me tomorrow? What if we ruin everything? What if Casey comes back? What if we break it and we can't fix it? What if, what if, what if, I know it's careless to guess but there's too many bad endings Jane. Following my heart would lead me into your arms but listening to my head would probably make me turn and walk the other way"

"What if…" Jane said after a moments silence, her voice was coarse and gravelly like she was desperately trying to hold something back. She knew Maura hated sentences that began with what if, but she couldn't think of any other way to put it.

"one of these what if's was Jane is pregnant?"

Maura stared at her blankly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked through almost gritted teeth.

Jane bit down on her bottom lip so hard she thought she could taste her own blood filling her mouth. She pulled out the pregnancy stick from her back pocket and threw it on the ground between them, she could feel her heartbreaking already before Maura had even reacted.

"What if a stupid baby ruins everything before it even starts?" she asked choking back tears.

Maura stared at the pregnancy test that lay in between them face up, the little pink plus sign staring her in the face like human would look at an ant. Forcing herself to look up at Jane she saw the look of anguish on her face, the suffering behind those brown eyes and she turned briskly on her heel and walked out the door.

I'm so nervous right now I don't think I will even be able to sleep.

I've had a bit of love/hate about the pregnancy storyline…and I cant say its not slightly disheartening to be told not to go down a certain storyline because its already been done and can never be done better. I always appreciate all of your comments and thoughts but I can't please all of you and I'm sorry about that. But I can 100% guarantee you that the rest of this story is not going to turn into Jane's pregnancy, I have no interest in that. This is not going to be a predictable storyline (...hopefully:P ) it took a while for me to figure out and plan this, I know where I want it to go and I want you to know you're in good hands I'm going to do everything not to fuck this up, so please give it a shot. I have to say I'm actually a little excited where this storyline is going because I know the outcome (perks of being the author) and i think you'll love it.

I hope you're all still with me and ready to continue on with these two beautiful women.

Please let me know what you think...and if it's not too much to ask be kind...I'm literally shitting my pants about this chapter, it suddenly feels like a huge risk going down this path even though I have everything mapped out.

Much love, thank you for your support xx