Chapter two : Actress

The next day Tifa opened her eyes finding herself half lying on her bed in an inconvenient position. She didn't remember going to bed last night. All she could remember was her doubtful thoughts about the future. She must have been passed out somewhere between her musings.

She wasn't surprised though to find her chest as heavy as last night, but was glad that her decision for moving on wasn't changed. She was hurt, angry, heartsick but she knew that beneath these feelings, her love and affection for him was still there.

'This love has become a part of me, a part of who I am. It can't be detached over a night. But at least I can pretend that it doesn't exist, I keep on playing my role, masking my feelings until the day that there is no need to pretend anymore because there won't be anything left of that love.'

Fortunately, she wasn't going to see him until night so she had some time to prepare herself for facing him in a calmer manner. She stood up, 'Time to return to reality.' she thought wearily. If there was one good thing about having lots of responsibilities, was that she couldn't ponder on her misery for a long time.

She took a rather long shower, letting warm water calm her nerves. After that she went to get dressed. Her hands automatically pulled out a black attire from her closet.

Wait, why did she always dress in black? Sure, she liked black, but it wasn't the only color she was fancy of. They were surrounded by a grey and black city. Why not bringing some color into it?

Oh yes, true! Because black was Cloud's favorite color. Did she always choose black to catch his fancy? 'Not consciously at least!' She tried to clear herself.

Well, if it was time make a difference, why not start with small things? She chose a red tank top and a jean mini skirt and began to change.

Downstairs, Cloud had just finished making coffee. He had put off his deliveries for a few hours, hoping to get to talk to Tifa before leaving. He didn't sleep contently last night saving for an hour or two. He had lain in his bed, widely awake, thinking about what happened earlier that night. What he felt most was confusion. Confusion and anger.

After Sephiroth was defeated just several months ago and Geostigma was cured, everything started to recuperate, to heal, to recover. Everything including himself. He didn't feel lonely, not anymore. He didn't blame himself for his friends' death. He had come to terms with himself, knowing and more importantly feeling that he was forgiven, by them, by people and by himself. Coming back home and living with Tifa and kids once again was a bliss, a blessing. Being a part of a family, loved and wanted, was too good to be real, except that it was. A family whose members weren't connected through blood, but what had brought them together in the first place was pain. Pain and loss.

So everything was proceeding just fine. Why did Tifa ruin everything? Why did she complicate the situation? How could things ever go back to how they were before?

However, in all honesty, this wasn't what was bothering him the most. If he was a little angry at Tifa – which he wasn't, he couldn't be – he was furious at himself. His confusion, his inability to deal with his feelings enraged him. He still hadn't got over the shock of Tifa's last night words. Did she really love him all this time? Him of all people? He never could have guessed, never had thought about it. He was never good at interpreting other people's feelings and spending five years of his life in a Mako tank hadn't exactly helped the situation.

And when Tifa had concluded that it must have been Aerith who was the one in his heart, he was confounded even more. Neither could he confirm nor could deny it. It was true that he thought about the flower girl often, not anymore with guilt but with gratitude. She had always been there when he needed help. Even after her death, she had come for him, leading him, healing him,. And he always found her presence, her sound, her sight calming, comforting. He wasn't sure whether what he felt for her during their journy to track down Sephiroth was what was commonly known as love. He wasn't completely himself back at that time, his memory was shattered and he was experiencing an identity crisis. And Aerith didn't outlived so that he could clarify his feelings toward her.

He looked down at the ribbon tied around his left arm. He missed her, of course. He missed the sound of her carefree laughter. But then again it was the same way he missed Zack's irresistible grins.

He wasn't sure how Tifa had interpreted his reaction, but it was obvious that he had hurt her. It was unintentional, he never wanted to. And he hated it. Because he cared for her. Everybody cared When it came to Tifa.

The glimpse of her face when she left the room last night, hurt and distressed, popped in his mind once again, causing him to ruffle his hair with frustration. He hated that despite all his efforts to make her happy, he had ended up hurting her.

So here he was, waiting for her in order to try to explain himself. To let her know that his feelings were like a twisted hank, he couldn't make it out himself. To apologize if this had hurt her.

A door cracked open upstairs and soft footsteps came out of it. Cloud stood in the kitchen awaiting. Tifa descended from the stairs but stopped dead in her track when she spotted him.

First, he caught a glimpse of her attire, which was a little different from what she normally wore, but then his eyes travelled upwards and he noticed her puffy face and bloodshot eyes. He felt a pang in his chest. 'Damn!'

He was supposed to be her hero, saving her whenever she was in trouble, yet there he was, the cause of her distress. 'Way to go for a hero!' He thought bitterly.

"Good morning!"

He snapped out of his musings only to see Tifa now standing in front of him, was smiling warmly. He stared at her a little dumbfounded. That wasn't what he was expecting for sure.

"Um, morning." He replied dazed.

"I thought you've already left." She said casually.

"I decided that I could leave a little later today."

"Oh, great. Have you had breakfast?"

"No, not yet."

"Okay, so I'll make some pancakes. Is it fine? Kids will be awake soon too."

"Sure."

'What the hell is happening?' He had no clue. He watched Tifa moving around the kitchen, gathering ingredients she needed.

"Tifa?"

"Hmm?" She said without turning toward him.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure Cloud, what about?" she asked still not looking at him.

"About last night."

He saw her shoulders tensed for the briefest of second before she relaxed again.

"I don't want talk about last night," she said flatly.

'Right! She is probably sick of my pathetic excuses.'

"I just-"

"Please Cloud," She finally turned to face him, "I don't want to hear anything about last night. It doesn't matter anymore anyway."

She didn't sound mad, but utterly calm and cool. He didn't understand.

" Tifa…"

"Cloud, it's okay, forget about last night. Forget that it happened." she said this time with more force, but smiling nonetheless.

He stared at her blankly. There was something odd in her smile. Not quite the way he remembered it. Tifa turned away and began blending the pancake mixture.

"Cloud!" A cheerful voice called out.

He turned around to meet a very excited Marlene who was still in her pajamas. Before he could react, she hugged him as tight as her little figure allowed. "You haven't left yet!"

"No, I haven't." He smiled and attempted to return her affection. 'Geez! The girl's got some real strength!'

She tilted her head and looked at Tifa. "Morning Tifa!"

"Morning Sweetie! Did you sleep well?" she said with equal mirth.

"Oh yeah, perfect!" She finally let go of him.

"I had a dream that a pool was built in school. We could jump in it whenever we want!"

Tifa chuckled, "must have been fun!"

"It was," she confirmed. "by the way, I like your outfit."

Cloud silently agreed with the younger girl. The color looked really nice on Tifa, bringing out her beautiful eyes even more.

"Thanks honey. Is Denzel still asleep?"

"Well yeah," She rolled her eyes, "I called him for like ten times, but he didn't wake up."

"It's alright, I'll wake him up. Breakfast's almost ready."

Cloud watched her as she left the kitchen. As much as he wanted to talk it over with her, to ease some of the tension between them, he didn't want to hurt her anymore. And if that was what she wanted, he would respect her decision.

"Everything's fine?"

He blinked then looked down. Marlene was looking at him with large, curious eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You are kind of worried when you look at Tifa. Is she sick? It looks like she's got cold."

"Of course not, she is fine. Maybe a little tired but fine."

He wasn't sure whom he was trying to convince more, Marlene or himself. Marlene didn't ask anything more. She took chocolate syrup and started to write the beginning letter of everyone's name on each pancake with it and then set the table. Not long after Tifa and a rather sleepy Denzel joined them. The way that Denzel and Marlene were thrilled to see that he still hadn't left, made him kind of guilty. Maybe it would be better if he spent more time with them.

The rest of the morning went on uneventful. Cloud kept looking at Tifa as he was eating his breakfast but found that whatever the strange spirit he had observed earlier was still there. Currently, she was laughing at Denzel's comments on how they could produce some modern flavors for pancakes. However, he didn't know whether it was just his imagination or she was actually avoiding meeting his eyes. Not wanting to annoy her more, he tried to dismiss the idea.

Tifa handed children their lunch bags.

"Take care. Have fun!" She said cheerfully. Then she handed Cloud his lunch bag who was satnding silently beside her looking at her.

"Be safe." She smiled but averted her eyes quickly from his.

"You too." Came his quiet response.

She waited until the three of them exited the house. When she was assured that she was alone she leant against the wall, feeling emotionally drained. She didn't even knew what he wanted to tell her earlier, but she decided that it didn't matter. She highly doubted it would have changed anything.

She could feel the tears she had tried to hold back earlier, still burning her eyes. This performance was going to take more energy than she had predicted before.

Chopped onion pieces were added to hot oil and a pleasant sizzle sound filled the kitchen from the contact. Tifa watched as the white pieces of onion started to change color.

She loved cooking. As a child, she used to spend hours in the kitchen watching as her mother mixed different ingredients and turned them into something special. It was like a miracle to her. Later when she grew older, she took responsibility for cooking as between her father and her, she was the better cook.

So yeah generally, she loved cooking. But recently it had become more difficult for her. And it wasn't just about cooking, but all the house chores. She was tired of all the routine she had to go through every day. She wished for a little change.

It had been two weeks since that fateful night. Two weeks without anything happened out of ordinary. After that awkward confrontation on the day after that, Cloud hadn't tried to bring up the subject again, much to her relief. But that didn't stopped him from keeping an eye on her all the time. And it was those looks that was driving her more and more to the edge of her breaking point. She could feel the weight of his eyes on her most of the time and she honestly didn't understand. She couldn't comprehend the meaning of these looks. Was it concern? Was it pity? She didn't know. But whatever the meaning behind them was, they unnerved her. She hated it that her heart still skipped a beat whenever they made eye contacts.

And it wasn't the only problem she was dealing with. She sighed as she heard the little girl discussing something fervently with Denzel. Marlene's curious eyes had been following her everywhere in these two weeks. This was always the problem with Marlene: She was an astute observer. Even when she was no more than a little girl, Tifa found it difficult to hide certain things from her. She always knew when something was wrong, almost intuitively. As she knew now, that there was something wrong with Tifa. She hadn't talked about it with her, and Tifa hoped she wouldn't as she didn't know what kind of excuse she could give the smart girl. However, unlike what was with Cloud, Tifa didn't have much trouble reading the definition of Marlene's looks. It was clear that the younger girl was worried about her.

When the meal got ready, She flipped the opening sign of the bar and began to deal with the first costumers in the afternoon. Most of them were now familiar faces for her, but she met a few new faces everyday as well. It didn't matter how hollow she felt inside, when Seventh heaven was open she had to be the warm and friendly bartender everybody knew and loved. 'Would they care if they knew?' She caught herself asking but she shrugged off the idea immediately. 'Everyone has their own ups and downs. You're not the first one on Gaia whose heart had been broken because of an unrequited love. Get over it!'

It was past midnight when most of the costumers left. Cloud wouldn't be back anytime soon since he had a delivery for Junon that day. Tifa walked to the door and flipped the opening sign before she turned and looked at the almost empty bar. She sighed when she saw a certain red headed Turk who was sitting on a stool stubbornly.

"Reno, we are closing!"

"Oh come on! That's not fair! I got here only minutes ago!" He protested.

"Well you can always come the next day."

"Now, now don't be a buzz kill yo! Give me another shot and I'll go after that!"

Tifa sighed and shook her head, silently praying for some patience. Not wanting to deal with another persistent costumer, she locked the door before going to the counter.

"So what's the occasion?" she asked as she filled his glass.

"Nothing, just me having some fun!" He answered with one of his trademark smiles. Typical Reno, unless that he didn't look much fun tonight.

"Have something yourself, my treat."

Tifa hesitated. She didn't drink at work but coming to think about it her work hours had been finished. The children also were asleep. So what harm could it do? She had a tiring day, didn't she? She poured a glass of vodka for herself.

"Feeling better, comrade?" Reno asked as he watched her taking a sip of her drink.

She grunted something unintelligible in response. Despite their recent team work in order to get rid of Sephiroth's remnants, Tifa still had trouble thinking of Turks or generally ShinRa, as allies or comrades.

'What's with the face?"

"What do you mean?" She asked harshly.

"Whoa, touchy yo!"

"Just spit it out!"

"Y'know what I mean, being gloomy an' all! It doesn't suit you."

Tifa flinched inwardly. What did he meant? Was she that transparent? She emptied her glass with one breath, irritated and stifled a shudder as the liqueur burned the back of her throat.

"Don't know what you're talking about but whatever you mean, you're wrong." She said coolly and filled their glasses again, hoping it would distract him.

"Am I?" He smirked mischievously but let it drop.

"So where is Rude? Never seen you two apart!" She inquired some minutes later.

"Hey, it's not like we're a couple!"

"I didn't say that."

"Yeah, but when you put it that way, it sounds like it."

"Speaking of touchy!" She said scornfully.

They neither spoke for a little while, each lost in their own world. Surprisingly, Tifa found herself enjoying her time. She could feel alcohol loosening her up, easing the knots in her chest, and for the first time in the past two weeks, she felt a little lighter. She didn't protest this time when Reno asked for a refill.

"You know," Reno broke the silence, "Six years ago on such a day, I ran away from home."

Tifa looked at him wondrously, but listened contently as he continued. After all, she was a bartender, being a good listener was one of the basic skills she had learnt.

"I really never liked rules and there were lots of them," He shook his head, "Never thought I would ever miss home!" He trailed off with a bitter chuckle.

"What about your parents?"

"Haven't heard of them in years. Don't know how they're doing after all that Meteor shit! They've moved."

"You are a Turk, sure you can find someone if you want to."

"Maybe."

If there was one feeling that she was totally accustomed to was missing home. She had already lost her home twice. When they came to the Edge and started to build Seventh Heaven she dared to hope that this home would be permanent, it wouldn't be burnt, it wouldn't be destroyed. However, when Cloud left them as a result of his disease and his overwhelming guilt, home once again turned into a vacant word. These days, although all of them were living together and no danger threatened them, she had this feeling again that something was missing. Her home wasn't complete. A feeling that although couldn't be defined, but was intensified whenever she sensed certain blue eyes on her. Home.

'Don't think about it, don't think about it!' She begged herself to stop and reached for the bottle again and was surprised to find it empty.

'Don't!' She heard the logical part of her mind warned her as she opened a new bottle but she ignored it and filled their glasses again. Reno thanked her with a nod and sipped at his drink with a distant look on his face.

"So what's up with you?" He asked a little later.

It was a rough day. He had spent the major hours of the day on Fenrir and was exhausted. He turned the last corner and felt something like happiness as he spotted Seventh Heaven building. Home. Finally.

He parked Fenrir in its usual spot and ran a hand over it, silently thanking his beloved vehicle for keeping his company today.

As expected, the bar's door was locked. He fished his key out of his pocket and opened the door. He stepped in and frowned as he found the lights still on. 'Is Tifa still up this late?' he wondered.

He turned to look at the bar and almost immediately froze. It took some moments for his mind to register what he was seeing.

Tifa was leaning against the wall, her eyes closed and her face flushed. But she wasn't alone. There was another person who was nuzzling her neck at that moment, one hand tangled in her hair. And although his back was toward him, Cloud could recognize that iconic red hair everywhere. His eyes wandered towards the empty bottles of drink resting on the counter.

Words came out of his mouth before he even noticed. "What's going on here?"

They separated in an instant, both shocked to find him standing before them.

"Uh-oh!" muttered the ShinRa employee and stared at him fearfully.

Tifa shoved Reno away weakly and detached herself from the wall, her eyes hazy. 'She's drunk,' Cloud thought. He turned his gaze back to the Turk, his blue eyes piercing in the other man's eyes.

"Get out!" he ordered, his voice still low but the venom in it couldn't be missed.

"Alright, alright, easy buddy!" he said in a defeated tone and made his leave as quick as he could.

When the door was closed behind him, Cloud looked back at Tifa who was watching him with an indifferent expression on her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned. Did that stupid man hurt her?

"I'm fine," She stumbled toward the stairs. "I'm going to bed."

Cloud watched as she passed over him and started climbing the stairs, clearly having trouble to keep her balance. He made an attempt to help her, but was rejected curtly. It irritated him.

"Tifa we will talk about this tomorrow," he told her. Tifa turned midway toward him and cast him a mocking look.

"You might be my brother Cloud, but definitely, you are not my father!" she said sarcastically and then disappeared into her bedroom.

Cloud ran a hand in his hair and huffed. He couldn't believe her. Honestly, what was she thinking? That was Reno for crying out loud! Reno who had tried to kill them more times than he could remember. Reno who had a reputation for his unstable relationships.

It didn't matter whose side Turks were taking now, Cloud knew better that ShinRa was the only thing they were loyal to. And if the company decided to make another chaos in the planet they wouldn't hesitate to comply.

Tifa never let anyone get drunk in her bar, never let anything get out of hand. He had never seen her before to get drunk with a random costumer. This wasn't Tifa. He knew that and it was his fault. He should have known better to be fooled by her calm and cool behavior all these days. It didn't changed the fact that she was suffering even if she was reluctant to show.

A/N: So here's the second chapter. Thank you all for reading it. What do you think of it? Please let me know, your reviews mean a lot to me.