After the group split up, Rachel and Riku went back to Rachel and Bryan's room, looking out over the vast space surrounding the Tower from the giant window. They stood close. Riku held her hand. There were things he wanted to say for a long time but hadn't had the opportunity the past week. Tatania worked her way up from the library and snaked around their ankles, hoping for some attention. She was top cat after all (the fact she was the only cat was completely irrelevant). When she was satisfied the black and white long-hair jumped into the windowsill on her favorite cushion and gazed out the window overlooking her queendom.
"So how have you been since I left?"
"Anxious. Stressed…afraid." He felt no awkwardness telling her exactly what had been on his mind.
"I can see that. Fear clouds the heart like stirring up mud in water."
"You could tell and you didn't say anything?"
"Who was I to assume it was something you even wanted to talk about?"
"I appreciate that. But I do want to talk to you about…some things."
Riku told her all about the nightmares. He didn't leave out any details, about the dreams, and how they made him feel.
Rachel agreed the new force behind the dreams was probably the darkness getting anxious. He'd fought harder and harder every day to suppress or eliminate his darkness for a long time. Then Rachel came and he finally had the guiding candle he needed. Only the Light riled the Darkness, leaving it only two choices if it were to survive; get rid of the new light or find a way to reinforce itself. And of course, Rachel wasn't going anywhere. Some of it had already melted away forever. The rest of the foreign darkness was determined not to let the same happen to it.
"I need you to help me. I need to destroy all the darkness in my heart that isn't mine. I've been fighting so hard for so long to keep the darkness within me quiet. Just when I think I can control it, something stirs it up again. I've been harassed over and over by seekers of darkness as they all tell me the Darkness is my true destiny and I cannot escape that fate. I feel…" Riku struggled to put the words according to how he felt. He wished for that moment he could have been as eloquent with words as Rachel. "I feel sick. Poisoned. Like there's something over my shoulder that mocks me every time I look for it by vanishing. An enemy that knows I want to fight but only laughs at me from the shadows." He paused and sighed. "I need to know how to get it out of me. I need to find a way to grab it by the roots and never stop pulling even when it fights back."
A silence settled between them. He didn't rush her to answer as she collected her thoughts.
Finally she said, "That's a really dumb approach."
Riku pulled his hand away and stared at her. That wasn't exactly a helpful comment. "So what are you saying then? Should I not even try and just accept it."
"Chill. I'm not saying that at all. I was getting at that you'll just burn yourself out trying to fight the darkness head on."
"But how else can I rid my heart of the Darkness?"
"I think right there we've narrowed down the problem. You've been so focused on getting to the end game and think force is the only way to do it. That's why," She tapped a finger to the side of her head. "It pays to have a female mind at hand. Guys would rather blast a tunnel through the mountain than go around it."
"So what do you suggest?"
"I think the first step would be not to try so hard."
"Huh?"
"I think your problem is like fighting an octopus."
"Now you've lost me."
"Bear with me. The analogy will make sense, I promise. When a diver upsets an octopus the animal usually attacks the face using its legs and suckers to hang on. The human response would be to try and pry it off. But that only aggravates the animal and it hangs on tighter and is less willing to let go. People have drowned that way. However, if you are still, the octopus will calm down, loose interest and leave. You need to step back and let the darkness settle. If it doesn't feel threatened it won't dig in its claws and torment you to maintain its place in your heart. You can then chip away at it and not rile it as bad when you do."
Riku couldn't believe it. She'd given him a single analogy and one piece of unexpected advice and it totaled up to what had to be the best lesson of his life. Where would he be now if someone had just told him that a long time ago?
"You have the most unique way of talking I've ever heard and yet I don't see how you could have made more sense." Riku stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She reciprocated by placing a hand over his and leaning back into him. "So what do I do next?"
"Ignore the darkness for now. Let it think it has a place in your heart that it has a complete hold of. In the meantime, keep your light shining bright like a torch of hope held high. Let it glow, let it show keep the flame of love alive."
Riku smiled. He liked how she did that.
"Light as many candles as you can and keep them burning strong. Think of a circle of candles as a barrier around your heart. The only darkness allowed inside the circle is what is naturally inside your heart, as it should be. Should you choose, your darkness can reach out passed the boundaries of your lights and become a lifeline to the pure, untamed darkness beyond. From what I can feel you've done a good job weakening the connection.
"From now on, stop trying to fend off the darkness directly. Instead, build up your lights. Brush away the soil around the roots of darkness so one day all you have to do is give one good yank and it will come apart without even realizing it had been weakened. Shadows may grow longer in the presence of a strong light but they cannot cross it unless you push the lights far enough apart to allow it entry. You'll feel the darkness make a fuss that it can't get in or what resides in you already fight from being extinguished.
"Beyond that, unless it's being wielded for evil or you deliberately reach out for it, darkness itself, the way I see it, is mostly just a paper tiger."
"A what?" Riku couldn't recall ever hearing that phrase before.
"Paper tiger? I read about it in a book about ancient cultures of other worlds. A paper tiger was an enormous decorative puppet used in some kinds of celebration. They were brightly colored and, like the tiger, meant to signify strength, beauty and ferocity. But speaking figuratively, it presents itself as unbridled might and viciousness but ultimately it is weak and cannot stand up to challenge. All growl and no bite. It can tower over you with menacing claws and teeth and terrible roar, but if you stop cowering and roar back, there's nothing it can do to stop you and it could never hurt you in the first place. The only way it could harm you was if you convinced yourself that it could based on its appearance."
"Darkness is a paper tiger." Riku said thoughtfully. "This is why I need you. I've never met anyone who thinks the way you do before. Everything you've said has me looking at my problem differently."
"I should be charging by the hour."
They both laughed.
"Is there a couch I could lie on?"
"I could find funny glasses and take notes with a bad accent."
They laughed again.
"I've got an idea." Rachel said after the chuckles subsided. She tucked in her legs and flew to a shelf by her bed. She pulled off a hardcover book. Riku had walked across the room by the time she found what she was looking for. "Here's your assigned reading."
Riku took the book and opened to the inside cover. In obviously her handwriting was the title Darkness as I Understand it. "You wrote a book about darkness?"
"Kinda." Rachel crossed her arms and hooked her elbows across Riku's shoulders, looking over at the book. The rest of her was still floating. "It's more of a journal dedicated to a single topic. I'm by no means an expert but as you've said, I look at things differently. Maybe seeing it as I see it could change your perspective for the better." She snuggled her head against his. "Oh! Oh! Oh! There's something you gotta see!"
From the center shelf of her writing desk she pulled out a heavy leather book. In the center was a picture of a mermaid girl reaching out to touch a unicorn.
"What is it?" Riku asked, opening to the first page.
Rachel smiled and took his hand.
"My world."