XXXII.
A New Chance

"He's not a he at all! I swear it lads!"

Mary stopped in the shadows, listening to the voices. She peeked and saw that there were ten men gathered in the room. The ten from the most recently captured ship to be exact. The lad who was speaking was Daniel. She frowned and stood, listening to the conversation, arms crossed against her chest.

"He's not a man, eh? How many times have you told us that yet you offer us no proof." One of the other men said. He chuckled and Mary imagined him shaking his head. "Daniel, I don't know what you got against Kidd, but trying to pass off such a fantasy isn't helping your cause. It'll turn men against you if you're trying to raise them."

"I ain't trying to raise up a mutiny. She'll kill me"

"She" Scoffed another.

"James Kidd is a woman!" He hissed again.

"Four days you've been spurting this tale!" Yet another said, sounding like he didn't believe it at all. "Come up with a new fairy tale, boy, this one is getting old!"

Mary had to shake her head. She and Daniel had spoken every day since he had found out. He was wary around her, but he had asked her all sorts of questions about being a woman pretending to be a man. He was a smart man – or so she had thought. What he was doing here was stupid. He was driving a wedge between himself and his mates though. She never did tell him to keep his trap shut though. She listened as the one man spoke.

"And how could he be a woman anyway? No woman could be that fearsome! Have you heard some of the tales of James Kidd? Some say he's had a part in the death of some very powerful people. And he was well in with some of the most fearsome pirates that roamed the sea – course most of them is dead now"

"Yeah, I heard they found Hornigold dead not too long ago. Some says he was killed by an old friend of his. Kent…Kenny….something…" That was a new rumor. She hadn't heard that Ben was dead.

"Kenway?" Another asked. "I heard a tale or two about Kidd and Kenway. A fearsome pair they make."

"And you really thing that Kidd might be a woman, Wordsworth?"

"I don't think,I know" He insisted. "I saw her half-naked. Men don't got tits" Daniel insisted.

"I don't think he could be a woman. Women, ain't like that. Look at Anne, fearsome as she is, she don't fight much. No, no way that Kidd could be a woman"

Mary thought she had heard enough. She considered walking away, but then entertained another thought. Why not just reveal herself to them? Why not just tell them? Rackham was known to spurt tales when he was drunk anyway, it wasn't going to be long before everyone knew. Why not just tell them on her own terms? They all accepted Anne after all, why not her? So before she quite knew what she was going to say, she was walking towards the group of me, plucking the fat out of her cheeks for the last time.

"And why couldn't I be a woman?" They turned to look at her. Daniel physically paled. She gave him a small smirk.

"K-Kidd" One stuttered. "Well… that is…"

"Most women would be a bit skittish about so much blood on their hands" The one said. She nodded, thinking about it. She had known plenty of women who weren't skittish about killing anyone who got in their way.

"Ah…so a woman…wouldn't kill like I do. I suppose that's right, if you're talking about a lass who already has all her prospect set for her" She took off her coat, throwing it on an empty chair in the room. "See, women are more ruthless than you think lads. We – don't look at me like that, of course I said 'we' – will kill anyone who gets in our way, no matter who they are"

They stared at her, muted by her words. She cut the bottom string her corset with a knife she took out of her coat. She pulled the string and it very easily fell to the ground and the corset fell after it. It felt good to not be wearing that thing. It was uncomfortable, verging on painful. She unbuttoned the top of her shirt, but they could already see she had breasts so there was very little point in it. Lastly she let her hair down, shaking it out.

"And now, who says I ain't a woman?"

They were all silent for a moment as she leaned back against the wall. Then Daniel's quiet voice said "Told you"

"I can't believe you told them!" Daniel said to her. It was much later and while Daniel should have been resting, he was sitting up with her and keeping her company. She had to say, she was growing used to it. He was…charming once he had pushed his anger for his cousin's death away. He was smiling from where he sat on her bed, drink in hand. She threw her coat onto a chair and then kicked off her shoes.

"Well, I suppose it's about time I told more than one person at a time" She said with a slight shrug. She lay on her bed and he look back at her. He offered her a drink but she refused. Drink and men didn't go well together for her. He shrugged and took another drink. Then again…it wasn't like Daniel wouldn't be willing. Still…

Not a path she wanted to go down. No wait, why not? Why didn't she? Why not take another lover? Her and Edward were done right? So she could. There was nothing that said she couldn't. She frowned at herself and Daniel must have thought it was something he said.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?"

"No…No, its not you. I was just thinking about my most recent lover" She frowned at herself even sharper when she realized she said that out loud.

"He must have been a hell of a man. Must take a lot to attract the attention of a woman like you" He shrugged. "Has it been long since you seen him?" She could say it had been – which would have been true but she shook her head instead. "Will you see him again soon?"

"I won't be seeing him again at all." She had to look away.

"Ah…" He was trying – and failing – to sound disinterested. They sat there a while longer. Finally he got up, saying some excuse about how he better get to his bunk and the other lads wondering where he was at this hour. She grabbed his wrist when he went to leave though.

"You can stay…with me, if you'd like" Split second decisions always granted her temporary happiness and she had a feeling about him from the moment she met him. The passion in his honey brown eyes had been hard to place. She could imagine he was confused by her sudden offer though but he stopped, clearly thinking about it.

"If you don't mind…"

And that settled that.

A week later and Anne was ecstatic. She had just gotten to telling her about Daniel. She was just wearing her usual, not bothering to dress as James Kidd anymore. She was now the object of gossip on the ship but she ignored the stares, answered the questions with the point of her dagger pressing gently into their throats, and just tried to go on as normal. Anne was happy she finally took a lover though and asked endless questions about her and Daniel's relationship. He was an easy man to get along with. He was generally calm but passionate about things. He was a little inexperienced, but he was seven years younger than her, so that was to be expected. He had been surprised to learn her real age. She hadn't told him everything about her life, but she had told him enough that he understood. And she avoided speaking of Edward with him. That chapter was closed. No longer would she look upon it.

"There's something else, Mary." Anne stated. "I think I'm with child!"

She didn't have to say it quietly because they were in Anne and Rackham's room. He was…probably getting drunk. They were getting ready to head to the wheel. She was surprised at this – but why was she? The way the two of them were…It made her remember he own scare.

"You're not sure yet?"

"No, not yet, but I'm fairly sure." She paused. "I haven't told Jack yet. I will soon…Do you think he'll be upset?" She frowned.

"He might make you take to land until you've given birth" Mary warned her.

"True…perhaps I will keep it to myself until I'm ready to tell him" Anne decided. Mary was only half-listening though, as yet another headache struck her. She had been having a lot of these lately. Daniel was worried. He was taking his role as her lover a bit too seriously, believing that this meant he also had to protect her from things. It was sweet of him, but a little silly.

"Mary, are you well?" Anne had grabbed her shoulder.

"My head feels like it's going to bloody split. I'm going to lay down. Do as you will, make sure Jack keeps us on course" Then she left to go to her room. She had been there less than an hour she imagined before Daniel was in there, sitting on her bed next to her.

"Your head still hurt? I brought you some water" His voice was soft and somehow soothing. She was laying on her side, a pillow over her head to block out the light. His fingers stroked her arm gently.

"Don't you have work to do?" She asked.

"Trying to chase me out already? I just got here" His voice was light with amusement though. He gently removed the pillow from her face. She gave him a hollow glare. "Do you really want me to leave?"

"No." She rolled over, wrapping her arms around him. He did make her feel safe. Not like Edward had…but she knew the difference. He wasn't Edward. In a way she supposed she was using Daniel, until she saw Edward again. She didn't want to do that, but she felt like that was what she was doing. It wasn't a good thing to do, nor was it the type of person she wanted to be but she needed something to help her. Her mind and body and heart were all stuck on Edward. She needed someone to help her pull away. Daniel was that person. He seemed to truly care about her. He was good to her and despite their rocky start, he seemed to respect her all the more for their difficulties at first.

He held her, silently stroking her hair, unaware of the tangle of thoughts in her head and despite them, despite the cruel nature of them at that moment, she was just thankful he was there for her. She was just so thankful that he was willingly there to watch over her.

"I think..." He was tracing his hand on her bare back, which felt good, very good. "…that you should be my wife"

"Your wife?" She asked, feeling surprised. This was the last thing she expected from him. Being married again didn't suit her much, or so she thought. She couldn't imagine herself married again. Her thoughts still wandered back to Edward yet too. She felt like she was betraying Daniel but…She pushed the thought aside, trying to focus on the moment.

"Yes." She turned to look at him, wondering what brought this on.

"And who would marry us out here in the middle of the ocean?" She asked.

"We would. We'd take vows to each other. We don't need nothing fancy, Mary" Daniel was a simple man. She had to roll her eyes at him and she rolled to her stomach so she could sit up.

"So we'd do like Jack and Anne then, hm?" She asked. "I'd officially become yours. Would that make you happy, Daniel?"

"Very" She paused, thinking about it. She did want him to be happy but her own heart was torn on this. Was it a good idea to just up and marry him? Probably not. Not yet, not without thinking about it for a while. Or maybe she just shouldn't. What was the point of getting married again?

But then she imagined if they managed to get enough money that they could retire. She could try to live a peaceful life again. This time with her husband by her the whole time. She was still young enough to bear children, she was still young enough to start over. What if this was her last chance at that? What if this was her true second chance? She didn't know what she wanted to say yet but she looked at Daniel and sighed.

"I need a few days to think about it. I'll give you my answer soon" Despite it sounding like a 'no' he smiled brightly, as if she had said yes. He was so easy to please. Just by not saying 'no' outright, he was happy. She felt a little bad.

"Of course, take all the time you need" And then that was that and he didn't bring it up again. He moved onto other subjects just like that. Mary was thankful, he was a good man. Perhaps too good for her, but he was young yet. Time hadn't turned him bitter quite yet.

"Sail, ho!"

Mary looked up as they made the call of the ship coming upon them. Mary stared at it, in shock. Was it? She glanced at Anne whose hand rested on her sword. She glanced over at Mary and shrugged, leaving it up to her. Of course it was up to her, she pulled on the wheel, turning so they'd be side to side with the ship.

"Close the sails! Full stop!" She called and Anne echoed her orders. The men hopped to it though they shot her questioning glances. She didn't care. She left the wheel to Noah who came up to speak to her about her orders and she hurried down the steps, Anne right behind her. The Brig pulled alongside them and she expected to see him.

"So, should I still call you Master Kidd?" It was Ade, calling down to her.

"You can call me Missus Read if you'd prefer" She called back, feeling tense. Where was Edward? This was his Jackdaw. Why was he not greeting her? Was he sick or hurt or…? "May we come aboard and talk? Or would you like to come to us?"

"Why don't you come up here?" So they did. He led her and Anne to the navigation room and they say down around the table. Edward was still missing. She felt her heart hammering. Where was he? Where was Edward? "It's been a while, Mary. I heard that you was on the seas but as James Kidd."

"I go by Mary Read now." She said simply. "Let the men know that a woman took their life. Anne already has quite the fearsome legend underneath her herself. I figure I might as well make sure they know of my own"

"I do not know if that is wise, but I will not judge you for it" He shrugged. She wondered if he had anything else to say but, in the end it mattered little. All she wanted to know was where Edward was. She knew she should not have been stuck on him as she was, but she couldn't help it.

"Where is Edward by the way?" She asked, sitting up a little straighter. Her back was hurting something awful and she couldn't figure out why. Her stomach twisted a little as she waited for his answer. Ade sighed and she took that as a bad sign.

"He…He found what he believed to be the Observatory" Ade answered at last.

"So he left?"

"No…We left him. With Roberts. We could no longer stand to chase these fantasies with him." She sat in shock at his words. They…left him?

"So…is he…?" She could barely get the words to pass her lips.

"I don't know what became of him. All I know is we're better off without him"

Mary felt her heart breaking. How could he say that? She slammed a fist on the table, anger clouding her judgment, washing away the sadness for the moment. "How could you say that?" Both Ade and Anne looked at her. "He was a good man. Maybe a little greedy and churlish, but he was good. He took care of those he cared about and you…you might as well left him for dead!"

"Mary, you have let your judgment cloud" Ade's voice was calm despite her outburst. She looked at him, shocked beyond words. "Why not come to Tulum with me? I am heading there myself. I'm sure returning will help you clear your mind…"

He just stopped talking because she was shaking her head. "No." She said simply. "No, I'm not going back there." He opened his mouth to protest. "No! You abandoned Edward! I ain't got nothing more to say to you"

She stood and he spoke one more time. "I know you were lovers, but I didn't know you loved him"

"Anne, I'm done here. Stay as long as you like" Then she stalked back to the ship. She didn't care if she had slighted Ade. She didn't care! Her heart was so torn and broken by the fact that Edward was probably dead. She had not heard a thing of him since they had separated and so…she had to expect that he was probably dead. If that were true…

"Mary?" It was Daniel. He tried to stop her but she ripped herself from his arms and headed straight to her room, closing and locking the door behind her. Her grief did not allow anyone else to be near her for now. Oh, they knocked and called for her, pleading for her to open the door and let them him but she ignored them all, every single one of them. She couldn't bear it right now. Not with her heart so broken. She thought of Ade's words – yes she had loved Edward, as she had loved James and look where it got her.

She thought of Daniel. Did she love him? In a way. Would that bring her nothing but heartbreak as well? Time would tell – or she could just break it off here, save herself from the pain. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do. So she sat, thinking herself in circles until well after all the knocks and calls went away, well after the sun had set and the moon had risen. Finally, nearing the middle of the long night, she left her room.

She looked for Daniel but could not find him below. She found him above talking to Anne alone on the deck. When she saw Mary her eyes got wide. She wasn't sure if it was because she was shocked that Mary had left her room at long last or she was scared that Mary may have overheard something they didn't want her to hear. She didn't ask, but she walked up to Daniel and Anne and she took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry for today. I just…Anne, may I talk to Daniel? Alone?" Anne looked at her for a long moment.

"Of course. I'm heading down to my room" She walked away meekly and Mary waited until she was gone. Mary took ahold of Daniel's hand and led him to the bow of the ship. They stood there in the moonlight, silent for a long moment.

"Mary…What's wrong?" Daniel asked at last, squeezing her hand comfortingly. She looked up at him, into his kind eyes.

"I…I lost a dear friend of mine. It's made me realize how quickly life can turn on you" She sighed, feeling that pain in her heart again. She bit at her cheek and lowered her gaze for a moment. Then she looked back up at her lover. "I'll marry you"

"What?" he seemed shocked. Then he realized what she said and he frowned. "Mary, you don't have to marry me because of this…"

"It's not just this!" She said. "Life is short, Daniel. I want…I want a chance to be happy and you'll do that won't you? You'll make me happy right? We'll gather enough money here and then we'll retire and never look back to this life." Her words were desperate. She was sure that he even heard that.

He placed one hand on her cheek. "Of course I can make you happy Mary. I want you to be happy. Will marrying me make you happy?"

"Very" She echoed his words and she saw him smile a little.

So with only the moon and the sea as their witness, they made vows to each other. Mary wondered if what she was doing was only out of grief. She decided that had a little to do with it – she decided she was being selfish but she also decided that she didn't care. She needed something to help her deal with that pain and she knew that Daniel would. She didn't regret it, she wouldn't.

She just wanted to be happy.

A/N: We're winding down to the end quickly now folks. Am I the only one whose nervous about it? Anyway, thank you guys for reading. This is the last chapter for today. I am going on a little trip in the next few days and am unsure if I'll get any writing done. Perhaps I will, but we'll see. See you guys when I get back!