I'm back baby! I haven't updated this story in forever, but I will try to stop procrastinating and get stuff done. Thank you RAWN, my beta for all your help.

I don't own Sonic.

'Okay you guys,' I announced. 'After 5 minutes of deliberation, I have decided on our next play.'

Shadow glared at me. "5 minutes?" he asked. "You've been gone for months!"

'Well I didn't start thinking about it until 5 minutes ago,' I argued. 'Just be lucky that I thought of anything at all.'

"What are we doing?" Sonic asked tiredly. He really wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

I smiled happily, glad that somebody was on board. 'Well, I had an idea, but then I stopped writing the chapter and forgot what it was. Now we're just going to do an abridged version of Romeo and Juliet,' I said happily. 'I felt that we hadn't belittled any real impressive pieces of literature.'

Rouge frowned unhappily. "We don't even have enough people," she complained. "And I'm the only girl."

I smiled at her. 'Well then congratulations on getting the lead,' I told her. "You will be opposite Shadow, because I'm pretty sure the fangirls will love me and review. Hint, hint.'

Shadow groaned. "So I have to play some winy emo teenager who marries a girl after knowing her for basically a day and then commits suicide when he thinks she's dead?" he asked. Then he shrugged. "I guess it's still a better love story than Twilight."

Knuckles looked at him strangely. "Didn't we already make that joke?" he asked.

I shrugged. 'Probably, I never really pay attention to what I write.'

Espio gave me a deadpan look. "Really?" he asked sarcastically. "We couldn't tell. You just write so well. It reads nothing like something somebody wrote while they were high and on crack." He rolled his eyes to emphasize his point.

'Thanks,' I told him. 'That's what I go for. Anyway, the rest of you can just split up however you see fit.'

The guys looked at each other at a loss for how they would split up.

"Do you guys have any idea how to do this?" Sonic asked.

Knuckles shook his head. "I don't even know who any of the characters are," he said annoyed. "We could probably just make up characters. It's not like she'd notice."

'I will now!' I called glaring at the echidna. 'You guys better take this seriously. You all know how much we hate ruining pieces of literature.'

Espio looked at me wryly. "Of course," he agreed sarcastically. "We would never do that."

I nodded. 'Good,' I said. 'Now since ya'll can't be trusted,' I drawled just to remind them I was from Texas and had access to many guns. 'I'm just going to assign you roles.'

The guys all groaned but made no complaints. Probably because of the gun thing.

'Okay, Paris will be played by Knuckles because I want to start a fan war. Romeo's dad will be played by Sonic because that seems appropriate somehow. Mercutio can be Vector because I don't care. Espio will be Tybalt because they both have stupid names. Tails will be Benvolio because they're both cute.'

There was a moment of silence before,

"My name is not stupid!"

"I do not like that crazy bat!"

"That feels racist somehow…"

"If you don't care can I just leave?"

"She thinks I'm cute!"

'I will hurt all of you if you guys don't shut it!'

That last one shut them up, and I smiled.

'Now hurry up,' I demanded. 'I want to get this chapter over with!'

With much grumbling the guys all gathered around me to await what lines they would have to say.

"Are you going to give us lines, or are you going to be lazy again and have us adlib?" Shadow asked tiredly, rubbing his temple. "Because I have some pretty choice words to say to Rouge."

I shook my head.

'I actually have some cue cards for you guys to read off of,' I said happily flashing the small square pieces of paper in my hand. 'I think you guys are going to like your lines. I tried to modernize the play so today's youth could relate and actually understand what the heck is going on.' I handed out the cards to each respective character and took a step back. 'Now, action!'

Everyone grimaced as they read their dialogue cards to find out where they were supposed to stand. Vector, Shadow, and Tails walked up to the stage to begin the play.

'This is the story of two teenagers who fall in love and die and other stuff as well,' I said as a means of narration. 'Their families hate each other, people murder people in the streets and no one seems to care, there's characters we forgot to cast and that's about all the plot points. Let's get started.'

"Hey yo Romeo," Vector said, his face a mixture of amusement and horror. "You hear about that party those Capulets are throwin'? I think we should go crash that party and be all cool and stuff dawg."

Sonic looked at me skeptically.

"Do you even know how normal teenagers talk?" he asked.

I shook my head.

'People don't actually talk to me all that much,' I confessed. 'I used the internet to find all those words and put them in as much dialogue as I could. I think it will help bring in a broader audience and give me some street cred. Now people will know I'm tough.'

Then Sonic face palmed for some unknown reason. Probably because I was so awesome. I smiled brightly at that and turned my attention back to the play.

"That sounds totally tight Mercutio," Shadow said without much enthusiasm. "Except that I'm like totally pining over that other chick that no one ever sees, and she's the hottest babe like ever in the universe. Life sucks I just want to sit and be emo."

Vector stifled his laughter at Shadow while Tails began his lines, "Come on Romeo, It'll be fun. I want to go to a party please come, I can't go unless you do!" he begged shooting Shadow big, blue puppy dog eyes.

Rouge looked at me bewildered. "How come he doesn't have to talk like a dork?" she complained, glaring at me with hate filled eyes. "And why does he need a babysitter or something?"

'Duh! He's like eight years old! If it weren't for his cousin taking him everywhere I bet his mom and dad would never even let him out of the house without them and that would just be embarrassing. Plus, he's way too young to be talking like that. Sheesh Rouge learn something won't you.' I rolled my eyes.

Shadow looked down at the small fox for a minute before nodding his head.

"Yeah all right," he conceded. "But I bet that like that one chick I met that one time is my only true love forever and there will like totally never be anybody else and my life is so over. Totally."

Vector nodded. "Word dawg not let's go do that thing you just said. Dawg," he said flatly, motioning offstage.

Shadow just stared at him. "I'm a hedgehog," he said confused. "Whatever let's just go." Then they exited stage left.

Rouge entered the scene and just stared vacantly at me. "Do I just talk to myself or something? There's nobody here to play my parents or the nurse! Why don't you ever think things through?" she screeched.

I rolled my eyes. 'Sheesh Rouge overreact much? You're acting like you're being forced to be part of an incompetent organization that does something you don't like,' I said as I walked over to the stage. 'I'll fill in for all the characters we don't have okay?'

The only answer I received was a glare before she turned her head to read her dialogue card.

"I am like so totally super excited to go to that party! It's going to be off the hook," Rouge said in a valley girl accent. "Except it's so totally lame that my dad wants me to marry that dude I met like once. I hope I can totally convince him to like not make me do that…totally."

'As your maid/mother/father I say maybe. Now let's go to that party,' I said happily clapping my hands together. Then I walked off the stage. 'Next scene!'

Don't worry there will be a part 2. Eventually. Anyway thanks for your time and for your kind words, and for the people who don't have anything nice to say, screw you. You can still leave me a review though.