"AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! {Therefore, it's nuts. I mean it's nut my folt.} and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX! {What about GC?}

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. {Memories…}

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! {No, he was walking on the broomstick.} He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort! {I gasped.}

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away. {I could fly on my broomstick though! My MCR broom.}

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. {Yeah, that dangerous kitty has gotta hurt.}

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" {Why would Voldemort call Harry Vampire? Volxemort is a prep.}

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? {It took a whole chapter to sink in!}

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back. {If I screw you, will you go away?}

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. {It shoots ballets!}

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" {I also don't see a reason Voldemort would kill a Slytherin pure blood, even out of spite for Ebony.}

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. {Geddit, Way like… you get the drift.}

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. {Telekinetically.}

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods. {My savior!}

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" {I just now realized you didn't cheat on me!111}

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. {No, I don't geddit. You geddit.}

"Are you okay?" I asked. {I never am.}

"No." he answered. {

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. {Or worse, expelled.}

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. {The two of you just can't stop making out, can you?}