L.
Through His Eyes

And so they sailed to London, Mary, Jenny and Edward did. Edward was happy Mary remained, but she seemed terribly torn and he didn't know how to help her. So he let it go, knowing that if she truly needed his help he would be able to step in. Another reason he was happy that she had come along was that Jenny looked up to her and she adored Jenny in return. She would make a wonderful mother and with that thought was a pang of sadness. She had been a mother – twice now – and both times that title had been denied to her for long. He remembered how she looked in prison, so scared for the life within her. He remembered how she looked when he returned to Tulum, so broken from because of the life ripped away from her. He was happy she was still here for Jenny to look up to. Jenny would already be brave and beautiful, just like her mother, but Mary would help teach her that she didn't need a man, even if society said she did.

He couldn't help but smile a little, as he thought of when he first met Mary. Of course, he didn't meet her as Mary Read, no far from it. He met her as James Kidd and she had nearly beat the living shite out him the first time they met.

1713 – or somewhere around that time

It was Edward's first time on Nassau, first time at the Old Avery and he had already had a drink or two so he was already walking somewhat crooked. He had just joined Thatch's crew of Privateers just last month. He had been saved from the hangman's noose by Thatch and Edward was very grateful. He was learning to be a better fighter under Edward Thatch and he had to say, he was blossoming in his own way. Today, he would be meeting Thatch's mentor, Benjamin Hornigold, as well as some friends of his.

While Thatch went to greet the man Edward assumed was his mentor, Edward went to greet the barkeep. Since he was already a little pissed, he was stumbling a little. Nothing wrong with that, though as he walked up to the bar another was turning away. He stepped wrong and they collided, sending rum spilling over both of them. Edward stumbled back, catching himself on the railing and looked at the lad. He was mad, understandably so. Edward knew if here were a better man, the decent, good sort, he would have apologized and offered to buy him another drink.

However, Edward was not the decent, good sort. He was young and cocky and gave the lad a cocky grin and went to walk around him. He quickly met the edge of the lad's fist though. It hit him right below the chin and sent back into the railing once more. People were looking now, to see what was going on. If there were three things that pirates loved it was Rum, Women and Fighters – especially if they weren't the ones involved in the fight.

Edward recovered quickly and lifted his fists and blocked a second punch from the dark-haired lad. He was sort of small, thin and slim looking but he had a damn good hook and clearly a nasty temper. Edward threw a punch but the lad grabbed his arm and twisted, knocking the ground from beneath Edward's feet and throwing him onto the ground. Edward was soon laying on the ground, looking at a sword at his throat. He swallowed hard, trying to think fast.

"That's enough, Kidd" Thatch's gravely voice washed over the two of them and the lad turned to look back at Thatch, who Edward was relieved to see had his own sword drawn. "Kenway didn't mean no harm"

"Whats it to you if I give him a few new scars, Ed?" The lad replied.

"I brought him to introduce to Ben…and you."

"Hm" The lad's tone was dismissing and he put his sword away, stepping away from Edward. Another man, with dark hair and sideburns, came and helped Edward back to his feet, clasping him on the shoulder.

"This is Ben" Thatch said, waving his hand towards the dark-haired man "And that lad there is James Kidd"

"Kidd?" Edward found himself asking.

"Aye. According to the yarn he spins, his father was none other than William Kidd. I don't know if I believe it, but he's got a terrible temper and is as vicious as he comes" He paused. "He also helped found Nassau. He had some great ideas for how to build the place up. We wouldn't have gotten as far as we did, as fast as we did without Kidd"

"Oh." Edward didn't know what to say about that, but it was an interesting fact. He looked at the dark haired, dark eyed lad with a new light. He just gave Edward an odd look. He wouldn't be able to place it and he narrowed his eyes ever so slightly, trying to read the look. He saw the lad smile a little and a light chuckle left his lips. Then he went to drink by himself and Edward was left to talk to Ben and Ed. He tried to put the odd lad out of his mind. There was something different about him, but he couldn't name how or what. It probably didn't matter anyway.

Of course, Edward had been right about James Kidd. He hadn't been who he had appeared to be. In fact "he" was now standing beside him, gazing out at the water. They had just dropped anchor for the night. They decided to rest in the channel before finishing the sail to London the next day. There was still a little light and about an hour of daylight left, touching the world and bathing it in gold. A gentle wind rocked the boat and fiddled with her long, black hair. She had let it grow out, until it was laying on the top of her breasts, which she no longer bound flat. She must have sensed him staring because she turned to look at him, her eyes quizzical and curious.

He found a smile pulling at his lips as he looked at her, resplendid in her sailor's outfit. Somehow, Edward didn't think he would get used to her not wearing trousers. Her shirt was slightly unbuttoned, showing the top of her breasts and her tattoo was showing as well. It looked a little faded now, since it had been exposed to sun and sea, but she could get it fixed. His own were a little faded though no one could see him under the old robes he now wore.

"What?" She snapped at him, her eyes narrowing in that way. She was giving him what he called a "bitter look" considering she looked like she had just bit into a sour fruit or something very bitter. He ended up laughing and wrapping his arms about her waist to pull her closer. She stumbled into him, her hands against his chest. She glared up at him, though he was only about two inches taller than her. She was tall for a woman, then again she was also wearing heeled boots to increase her height.

"I was just admiring you" He answered.

"You seem to do that a lot" She rolled her brown eyes. He smiled, reaching up to trace the scar that ran over her eye.

"I guess I still can't believe my luck" He answered honestly. And he was lucky to have won her affections. He still remembered the first kiss he stole from her and maybe it had been wrong at the moment, but everything had been worth waiting for. Perhaps it had started as just a lust for a woman who not many had. A desire to raise his flag over her bed, so to speak, but it had gone so much further than he would have ever planned.

She didn't say anything for a moment and then finally said "Perhaps you should go put Jenny to bed." She pulled herself out of his arms, making him frown. Lately, she had been very distant. She hadn't wanted him to hold her and she barely wanted to sleep next to him. And he meant just sleeping. He was frustrated to say the least. So he sighed and walked away from her. She watched, a sad look in her eyes. He tried to ignore it, he really did, because it would only serve to annoy him and right now, he needed to stay focused on other things.

"Master Kenway! You arrived in good time I see!" Walpole held his hand out for Edward's and gave him a firm shake.

"Yes, the waters were very kind" Edward said to him. Mary stood silently by his side. He had an arm around Jenny's shoulders and he put the now free hand around Mary's waist. She gave him a look and stepped out of his reach. He sighed, dropping his arm and returned his eyes to Walpole.

"Ah…and you are Miss Read, correct? Still in trousers I see" Walpole did not offer his hand to Mary and she did not offer her's to him. She gave him a steely look, keeping her shoulders straight.

"They're much more comfortable than skirts, wouldn't you say Mister Walpole?"

"I couldn't say"

"Nor could I"

Edward nearly laughed at this exchange. Walpole's face was confused, he was clearly wondering if he should be insulted by Mary or not. Edward decided to speak before she did slight him. Even if she was not accepting gifts from him, she didn't need to make herself his enemy.

"So where is this house I've been told about?"

"Ah, it is still under renovation" Mister Walpole said, fixing the cuff of his sleeve. He looked up at Edward with a small, sorry smile. "I know of a wonderful boarding house where you and your daughter can stay at until the renovations are complete"

Edward didn't like the idea of staying at a boarding house for who knew how long. He also didn't like the idea of living with Jenny there. She wouldn't have the room she needed to continue her lessons. She was still a growing lady and she had a lot to learn. She had started her lessons when she lived with her mother, grandmother and grandfather, but Edward knew she still had a lot to learn. He would make sure she was well educated, he only wanted the best for her.

"Nonsense" Mary cut in. "They can stay with me"

"You have a home?"

"I lived in London for a time" She told him, though she certainly didn't have to. Edward remembered when she told him about her past, her husband. They had bought a house in London, by the port.

"Well you haven't been here in many years, who's to say it is still yours?" Walpole asked. She narrowed her eyes.

"It's been maintained since I left." Her voice was short and curt. Edward realized that she didn't like Walpole in the least. "Do you have anything else to tell us?"

"No…" He seemed reluctant to speak to her and she quickly told him her address and then she turned to walk away. Edward shook his hand once more and then led Jenny after Mary. She seemed to be in a bad mood. He wanted to ask her about it but that risked him getting his head bit off for asking. So instead, he figured he would just let it go.

She led them away somewhat from the port to some very nice houses. She passed them too and soon they came to a modest one. It was made of dark bricks and wasn't huge, but it wasn't small either. She hesitated at the bottom of the steps, looking up at it.

"Mary?" He whispered her name, wondering if there were anything he could do to comfort her. There it was again, that pain she wore like a cloak. She tried to hide it, but he could tell, even when her back was turned. He could see the tenseness in her shoulders, the way she clenched her hands. She half-turned to look at him. He saw she had drawn what she called her charm out of her shirt. She always wore it, the golden chain ended in a golden, worn key.

He had examined it once, it had an address carved on it. This address. It also had what appeared to be initials carved on the other side.

"I'm fine, Edward…I just…" She closed her eyes and he reached out to brush her arm with his fingers. She pulled away and then took the charm off her neck. She unlocked the door and it swung open easily and silently. She walked inside, almost timidly. Edward had been holding Jenny's hand but he let go as she hurried into the house, giggling.

"Wow! This is your house? It's so pretty!" She turned in the hallway to face both Mary and Edward. "Is our house going to be this pretty, father?"

"As pretty as you want it to be, my sweet" He answered, a smile on his face. He came in the house and closed the door behind him. Jenny went off to explore and he called after her. "Jenny, wait!"

"It's okay, Edward…There's nothing that I have to hide here" She sounded weary and Edward was worried. She looked around, with haunted eyes, as if she expected a ghost to jump out at her. She crossed her arms across her chest, hugging them to her tightly. She was frightened of the ghosts of this place. Edward had felt the same way when he had returned to Bristol.

She walked and he followed but she stopped after reaching the first doorway, which was open to show a parlor. There was a fireplace straight ahead of them and above that, sitting on the mantle was a painting of Mary and whom Edward had to guess was her James. While both of them looked quite serious in the painting, their eyes were both shinning with happiness. In fact, Edward could almost see the trueness of that in James's blue eyes. His hand was resting gently on Mary's shoulder, where she sat in a chair, in a beautiful red dress. Her hands were resting on her stomach, which when Edward tore his eyes away from her face, he could see it was slightly bulging. She had been carrying their child when this was painted. That meant he was leaving for war right after it was painted.

"Mary…" He turned to her and she turned away. "Don't do that" He whispered, reaching to touch her shoulder.

"Do what, Edward?" Usually she'd snap but now she just sounded tired.

"Don't turn away." He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her gently from behind. He rested his head on her shoulder and whispered. "I know it still hurts, love. I understand now."

"I should take that painting down" She sighed, and to his surprise, she leaned back against him. Her hand wrapped around his. They stayed like that, in the doorway, until Jenny appeared at the top of the steps.

"Father!" She called. Edward gave Mary a gentle kiss on the cheek and hurried up the steps to his daughter. "I found a room!"

"There are lots of rooms in this house, Jenny" He said with a sigh. "And you shouldn't be opening doors"

"But this one had the door open!" She claimed as she led him down the hall. The room they stopped before made Edward pale. "Look father! A nursery! Does Miss Read have a child?"

Edward didn't know what to say and just stared at it for a long moment before Mary's voice startled him. "I did." He turned to look at her. She looked pale and sad.

"She…She's gone now though." She sighed and walked into the room and over by Jenny who was standing by the crib. There was a large stuffed animal, Edward through it was a rabbit, sitting next to it. He watched Mary touch the thing's head and then turn to Jenny with a smile. "But, enough of old ghost tales. Let me show you to your rooms. You'll have to get more clothes and we'll have to step out to get food. I'm afraid I've been away so long that my home is no longer properly stocked. What would you like for dinner, Jenny?"

Then she was off to another topic and Mary and her were walking out of the room. She glanced at Edward as she passed him, a small smile curling her lips and he shook his head. She was good with Jenny, there was no doubt about that and he had to admire her for that. She would have made an excellent mother. It was a shame she had lost both her chances.

Edward was given his own room and Jenny her own as well. Tomorrow they'd make arrangements for a tutor for Jenny and Mary would hire some servants. Edward would have to meet with some new business associates. The day after they were going to have dinner at a fellow Assassin's house and then he would show Mary and Edward how to get to the Assassin's HQ here in London. It was going to be a busy next few days. Edward was having trouble sleeping though and he had no idea why. He lay there as the hour got later and finally he sighed. He figured if he got up and moved around, perhaps he would feel better.

Just then, he heard the wood creaking out in the hall. Someone was out there. He stood quickly and quietly made his way to the door and opened it. It swung open silently and he slipped into the dim hall. He was still for a moment and heard another creak from further down the hall and he began to make his way that way. Just before the stairs he saw a figure.

"Mary?" He whispered, getting closer to her, his eyes adjusting to the dark.

"Edward?" She whispered back, turning towards him, clearly startled. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep. What are you doing up?"

"I just thought some tea would help me sleep." She rubbed her arms and he realized she was in a simple sleeping gown. Her hair was mussed up a little and she did look tired. "Do you want to join me?"

"I don't think tea will help with your sleeplessness" Edward told her.

"Why?"

"Think about it Mary, how many nights have we spent sleeping apart since Black Bart took you?" She was silent. "None. I sleep better with you at my side, Mary. I mean that."

"You slept fine alone before you met me" She began to walk down the steps.

"Mary! Stop!" He had to fight to keep his voice down. He went after her, catching her at the bottom. He took both her arms in his hands and turned her to look at him. "When he took you, I was frantic. I never thought I'd see you again"

"And my time with him was so easy" Ugh! She was so easily slighted! She tore her arms out of his grip and began away once more.

"I thought you were dead. That was the second time and I…I couldn't stand it. I wanted to just fall in a hole, Mary. I hated it." His voice was desperate and he knew it. He hated it, but she brought out this raw emotion of him. She teased it out of him and it made him feel weak, vulnerable.

She didn't say anything. How could she? She had heard the story but she didn't know the pain he had went through, she hadn't saw it. Sure, she went through her own trial, but when he took her, Edward had known true pain and loss. He had known true anger. He had realized that he truly did love her.

The memory was painful, thinking of how he paced and ranted and raved. When he had finally caught up with Black Bart, he had taken no quarter. His men were dead to him, dead on the water. He killed them without regret, tore them apart with explosives and his swords and guns. He had killed them, because they had been cruel, because they followed a cruel man and because he had taken something from him – taken someone from him. They had taken the woman he loved and he was going to destroy them, kill every one of them himself if he had to.

And he had.

He doubted many of Black Bart's crew still lived. He had killed so many of them, leaving as few as he could for his rage was great.

And then there was Black Bart himself. He sometimes still thought of the moment he found Mary, the moment he ripped her away and dangled her over the cliff's edge. He remembered him tossing her and the ache in his chest that was his heart preparing to break. Of course she had landed on his ship that he had been signaling and had been alright, but for a moment, his entire world had stopped.

She was looking at him now, her brown eyes darker. She closed them and turned away, just slightly before they snapped open and she turned back to him. "Edward, stop that"

"Stop what?" he asked.

"Looking at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like you love me"

"But I do, Mary" He reached out and gently brushed his hand across her cheek, cupping it ever so gently. She frowned, but smiled softly a moment later, her hand touching his.

"We're such fickle creatures aren't we? Such creatures of habit…" She closed her eyes. "At least…I am"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm scared, Edward. So scared sometimes…to be happy. Every time I am…Maybe I'm not meant to be happy"

"Tosh" He reached out and pulled her close to him. "You deserve it. You've done much good in the world, Mary."

"I've done just as much evil I think" He was silent. "I've killed people, Edward. Countless numbers of people"

"So have I" It was all he could think to say. "I was also greedy, driven only by personal gain without a care for those I hurt along the way. Meanwhile, you lived for something. A cause, a higher calling. I lived for myself and only my future fortune. So who out of us two deserves to be happy more?

She chuckled lightly. "You'll say anything to convince me won't you?" She wrapped her arms around him though, pressing herself against his chest.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" He let out a gentle chuckle. She looked up at him again and when she looked at him like that, looking so young and venerable despite everything… He couldn't help himself, he leaned down and kissed her. At first she stiffened, and he knew he had startled her, but soon she melted against him. While he may have not been able to say no to her most of the time, she rarely said no to this.

Soon, despite all their earlier words, she was clinging to him, her fingers tangled in his hair. He had to lean back against the wall to keep his balance and soon she pulled away when they were both quite breathless and flustered.

"My room or yours?" She asked, her voice still breathy.

"What?" His mind was a little addled yet.

"Mine then" And she had let him go, wiggled herself out his arms, already starting up the steps. She stopped at the top, looking down at him. "Are you coming?"

He had to let out a laugh. How quickly her moods changed! But he wasn't going to argue this one. It was much better than her former mood. For now, he would enjoy what he had with her. She was flighty and that thought scared him. He didn't want to lose her because she was scared to be with him and he was afraid that was exactly what was going to happen. When people were scared, they sometimes made foolish decisions. Hell, Edward had made stupid decisions when he was simply frustrated.

He followed her up the steps though, grabbing her about her waist at the top and kissing her once more. If she did leave him, and he hoped she did not, he wanted to remember everything about her. Her smile, her laugh, the feel of her lips against his, the feel of her body beneath his… all of it. He loved her, and he wanted her to know that, he wanted her to understand that he would find a way to be with her, find a way to make her happy. Find a way to keep her safe, keep her happy and content with the life she lived.

"Mary" He whispered her name as they towards the bed, their clothes already mostly off.

"Hm?" She had no time for his words, her mind already focused on other things. Their lips touched again and he almost forgot what he wanted to say.

"I love you" he whispered against her lips. She pulled away, her eyes sparkling as if she were about to cry. She chuckled lightly.

"I know" And then there was no more time for thoughts or words, only actions. Actions which he hoped conveyed his feelings in ways words never could.

A/N: Special 50th chapter for you guys! A bit longer and in Edward's point of view instead of Mary's. I thought it was time that we saw through his eyes, so to say. Anyway, sorry for taking so long. I'm going to edit the chapters one by one while I work on chapter 51. Wow guys, just wow. You people who read this story are amazing. 50 chapters. Wow. And all of you that favorite and follow and review...just thank you. To those of you who just read along, thank you too. Thank you, for reading, thank you for going on this impossible journey with Mary. I'll see you next chapter.