AN: Welcome readers new and old. Okay, I have no amazing excuses for you. I love writing this story and am absolutely committed to seeing it through to its conclusion. But, I make no promises as to the timing of said conclusion. That being said, I will try really hard not to let so much time pass between updates in the future. So, without further ado…

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Chapter 19

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Her office was warm and inviting, comfortable, kind of like Angela herself. Even though she was a virtual stranger, I felt quite comfortable with her.

This fact was odd and very out of character for me. I mean, I was cool with meeting new people and all, but I didn't often share the private details of my life with them.

Yet, somehow with Angela, I felt like I could.

At the moment, I sat in a cozy armchair across from her. She smiled softly at me before asking the question that I really didn't feel like discussing.

"So, Emmett, how did the group therapy session go?"

Ugh, never again. That's what I wanted to say.

The group session was not so great. It wasn't bad per se, mostly it was just depressing. It made me think about things that I was trying to put behind me. I wanted to move on with my life, not dwell on my story and tearfully relive it while giving my account to a group of strangers.

Not that that's what I did… it didn't feel right sharing my personal life with those people. People I didn't know or trust. Why should I tell them?

About twenty of us had attended the meeting last night. It was located in a church basement and led by a man named Garrett.

Garrett was kind of a hippie, with long sandy colored hair pulled back into a ponytail. He wore a brightly patterned tunic over light wash jeans and a dopey smile on his face. But, he was nice enough and started off the sharing. He had lost his baby sister to cancer when she was a teenager and dedicated his life to helping others cope. His job was to listen and keep the discussion going.

As kind as he was, I was very uncomfortable with the whole thing. We were seated in a large circle and basically went around and told our stories and relationships to cancer. Some people had been here numerous times and there were a few, like me, who had just joined the group.

Several shared their experiences and the rest sat quietly. Some seemed to have accepted and reconciled with their situation, others were angry or sad and devastated.

I wasn't quite sure where I fit into the mix.

The session lasted about two and a half hours and I was exhausted at the end of it. It had been emotionally draining and for the most part served to upset me more than help me. They offered refreshments afterward, but I didn't stick around. I hadn't said anything during the session and didn't want to be confronted by anyone.

I was doing just fine without these so-called supporters. I had been talking things through with Angela and I had Mom and Rose and now Edward. I didn't need those other people or their pity… or support or whatever it was that they could offer me. I wasn't interested.

"Emmett?" Angela prompted after I had failed to answer.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I just spoke the truth, "Honestly, I don't know if I can go back there again."

"It was that bad?" She didn't judge or guilt me with her question, it was more for clarification.

That's what I liked about Angela; she basically just helped me to think things through on my own. Sometimes offering a professional opinion, but mostly just listening and helping to facilitate. She pushes me out of my comfort zone sometimes, but I guess it is good for me in the long run.

"Well…yeah. Kind of. I mean, everyone was nice enough and meant well…I don't know. I guess I expected to feel better afterwards, but it was really depressing. And I don't want to feel like that. I'm sick of dwelling on this cancer thing all the time. I want to push it aside and move on with my life, you know?"

"Hmm…that's a good point. You want to move on with your life and not let this cancer hold you back. But, this is a part of your life isn't it? Do you think pushing it aside will make it disappear?"

"No, I guess not. It's never gonna go away is it?" I sulked. I knew it was true, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

"Emmett, no one is going to force you to go to these meetings. You can go if and when you like. Maybe it's not working for you now, but there may be a time when you'll want that support."

"But I already have support. I've been more open with the people in my life."

"Yes, you have. And I think that is wonderful…an important step. Do you think it would help to talk to someone who actually understands and has been in your position?"

"I don't know…in theory, yes."

"Well, if I could make a suggestion…?"

"Sure."

"Why don't you choose a number of meetings that you will commit to attending? It could be two or ten, whatever you're comfortable with. Follow through with that commitment and see how it goes. If it still doesn't seem to be helping you in a positive way, then stop going. You can always go back later if you change your mind."

"Well…I have to admit it sounds like a good idea."

"So, that's a yes?"

"Yeah, it is," I agreed.

"Alright Emmett, I think you're on the right track here. I know that the support group only meets once a month. So think about how many meetings you're going to commit to attending and we'll discuss it next week, okay?"

"Okay Angela. Thank you."

"No need to thank me Emmett, this is what I'm paid for," she answered with a teasing smile.

"True true," I returned, with a smile of my own, as I headed out of the office.

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***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

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I was missing Edward something fierce. We'd been inseparable since the night I finally admitted everything. The night I fell for him completely.

It was amazing how much closer we'd become in the days that followed. He was so understanding and accepting, but still treated me like a normal person and not a victim. I couldn't have been more grateful for that.

On Friday, the day after my big reveal, he blew off his classes so we could spend the day together. We spent the unseasonably warm day at the zoo, walking hand in hand and looking at the animals. It was nice to just talk and laugh and have fun, without the pressure of my secret looming over me. I hadn't been to the zoo since I was a kid and it was great to share that with Edward. It was exactly what I needed.

We had a lengthy debate over which animal was the most interesting. While Edward preferred the lions, I was captivated by the bears. In the end, we agreed to disagree and bought each other a souvenir of our respective favorites. A beautiful wood carving of a grizzly now sits on the night stand next to my bed.

But now I was in Edward withdrawal. Between my crazy schedule and his class work, I hadn't been able to see him in days. Granted, it had only been three whole days, but it felt like so much more. I was aching to see him again. When had I become so needy?

Fortunately, we planned to spend the whole weekend together. And it would only be a few short hours before we'd be in each other's arms. Tonight couldn't come soon enough.

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***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

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Several hours of work, two pizzas and a movie later – Edward and I were curled into each other's sides on my couch.

Finally, I could relax. This was where I belonged.

As much as I loved going out and being social, I craved this alone time with Edward. We didn't have to do anything special. Just being together, like this, was more than sufficient.

It struck me that I hadn't been to Edward's apartment yet, which – come to think of it – was a little strange. Somehow we always managed to end up back here.

I'd never thought much about it before and had been happy to have him at my place. But now, I couldn't help wondering if there was a reason he didn't want me at his place. In fact, I didn't even know where he lived. There were still a lot of things that I didn't know about Edward.

However, I chose to overlook all this for now and just focus on my beautiful man, who was currently pressing his soft lips into the crook of my neck.

"How was therapy?" he asked softly against my skin, breaking the comfortable silence.

I shrugged in response, "It was good, I guess. We mostly talked about the group session."

He pulled away from me, enough to look into my eyes, as he spoke, "That's right…I completely forgot to ask you about that. How did it go?"

"Crappy," I answered honestly. "I have never felt more depressed than I did when I left that place."

"Why didn't you call me?" His emerald orbs were blazing with concern.

I pulled away even further, as I murmured, "I'm sorry. I guess I'm so used to dealing with this kind of thing on my own. I'm not used to confiding in someone and I…" I felt awful now. I couldn't even look at him anymore.

He reached for my hand immediately, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Emmett, baby, it's okay. I'm not mad at you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. Anytime. For anything. You can lean on me."

"Thanks beautiful," I looked back at him with a smile.

Edward returned it for a moment, before asking, "So, are you going back?"

"Yeah… Angela wants me to commit to a certain number of group sessions," I whined.

"Well don't sound too excited," he jested.

"I know. It won't be that bad, not really. I guess I want to put this all behind me and kind of forget about it. I don't want to think about it all the time. I want to move on with my life, you know?"

"Well of course you should move on with your life, but you need to deal with this too. This is part of your life and it won't just go away baby."

"Yeah," I conceded, "that's pretty much what Angela said."

He smirked, "Well then, she must be a very smart woman."

I punched his arm lightly in response.

He laughed and said, "Maybe it will get better. It could be good for you."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. I guess I'll find out."

He grew serious again, "I could always go with you sometime…if you like."

I squeezed the hand that was still held in mine. How sweet is he?

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet, but thank you for the offer. Maybe someday."

We sat in silence for a few moments before I decided to move the conversation forward and onto a new topic. I had talked enough about this for one day.

"You ready for tomorrow, beautiful?"

"Yep," he answered without pause. But I knew he was trying to hide his nerves, even without the tell-tale blush that was creeping over his gorgeous visage.

"You do remember that we're meeting up with Rose and Jasper this weekend, right?"

"I know," he huffed. "I'm trying not to think about it too much."

"Why?" I asked innocently.

Of course I knew the answer, as we had discussed it a hundred times. Well, not literally. But, I knew that he really wanted Rose to like him as he knows how important she is to me. And, if I'm honest, he is right to be nervous. Rosie is seriously intimidating, especially where the guys I'm seeing are concerned. I didn't tell Edward that, though. No need to worry him any further.

"Oh shut up," he shoved me in playful annoyance. "You know perfectly well that I'm nervous about meeting Rose. Do you have to keep rubbing it in?"

"I can't help it that you're a worry wart. Plus, I love watching you blush," I said with a wink.

"Oh, that's it mister," he growled playfully as he hit me over the head with a pillow.

I jumped up – grabbing another pillow to retaliate – and he took off running, his laughter echoing behind him. I couldn't help the grin from forming on my face as I gave chase, eventually cornering him in my bedroom. After tackling him to the bed, I began to tickle him relentlessly – until we were both in tears from laughing so hard.

I reached up to wipe his eyes, and then my own, before crushing my lips to his.