AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.

All day I wondered what the surprise was {But I was pretty sure it was going to be sex}. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it {Urple is the in-color this season. In a related story, hell has frozen over.}, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one {two}. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again. {There's a 38% chance she'll screw whoever comes to the door anyway.}

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! "R u gonna cum rape me or what." I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns." he growld angrily. {He say plz. You have to give them to him, because saying plz and tank yu is the polite thing to do.}

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fuker." He said, gong away. {He probably should have been more upfront about what he wanted. If Ebony knew you wanted to screw another dude, her gay sex loving heart would've given him as many condoms as he wanted.}

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1 {And Loopin was masticating to it!}

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now)

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat) {Actually, yes. And it's a real word, if a word never really used.}

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin shouted angrily. {So we had to have unprotected sex in the middle of the empty hall with Dobby watching. If it weren't for you we could have had protected sex in the middle of the empty hall with Dobby watching!}

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything. {I'd kind of like to know what she meant by everything.}

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!" {So, our hero does exactly what the villain does, and she's still supposed to be sympathetic…} I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot. {So we took off our clothes and started to screw, with Dobby watching.}

"WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?" {Must… Avoid… Making… Cum joke…}

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' on it. {You can't have mismatched license plates.}

….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing. {No, they were performing a punk-rock version of A Little Night Music.}

Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner. {He saw that MCR was turning into Vlodemont and Da Death Deelers. Also I gasped.}