Chapter 22.
AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1 {Decide whether you hate her or love her.}
All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. {I keep telling you leather is not comfy, certainly not comfy enough to wear as pajamas.} Then I gasped.
Standing in front of me where…. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow! {They're your friends. No need for the gasp.}
I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. {You know, when you say leather jacket, the first thing that comes to mind isn't so much goths but more like say Marlon Brando in The Wild One – more of an old fashioned kind of rebellion than your sob fest. Wait a second, Tara, Raven, and co. are clearly doing this for attention, why don't they ever mix things up? Why isn't it that halfway through the story Enoby throws out all her MCR stuff and adopts some new kind of rebellion?} He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. {This is news apparently.} B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. {Why would Amy Lee wear a dress with MCR lyrics on it and not, say, Evanescence lyrics?} Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism. {I'm not a therapist or anything, but wouldn't they be happy if their rapist died?}
"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"
"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said.
"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily. {In theory, she should have done this three-four times already this chapter.}
"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.
"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."
"I will I will." he said.
So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. {Stop being such a jerk to the kind old widow!111} A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.
"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!" {I FOUND THE CAPS LOCK KEY ONCE BUT I CAN'T FIND IT AGAIN!111}
"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge. {Woof woof.}
"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!" {I don't know if he should retry, that's another quarter.}
"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…..Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."
Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped. {What's the surprise? Of course the Mary Sue is the chosen one.}