August 12th...

The wedding was so near, I could feel the excitement and nervousness creeping up.

When I'd first started coming out of my sad streak, Eric asked me if I wanted to push the wedding back. No, because I wanted to marry him, preferably sooner than later. Also, I knew I could get better enough to get married in time, since I was just really sad, not depressed.

The first step we'd taken to returning me to my usual self was figuring out how I could express my feelings. I'd tried telling them to Eric, but writing them down was easier, so I started keeping a journal to write down how I feel.

Next, I started getting back to doing fun, social things such as going shopping or taking Tianna to the beach.

I liked to think of the wedding as the last step, because it would be the uniting of me and Eric, and a big celebration followed by a two week vacation to an island. I would miss Tianna, but luckily she'd be joining us after a week. Chuck was going to bring her to Trinidad with us for the second week. For the first week, she'd stay with him. It wouldn't be an issue now that she was starting to eat baby food, since she was nearly 7 months old and beginning teething. Also, I'd pumped some milk for her, even though she didn't need as much anymore.

The wedding was planned out, and the beach was decorated. We'd had the rehearsal dinner yesterday, since Eric and I had decided not to see each other for 24 hours before the ceremony, for luck. To make it work, Eric stayed with Chuck at The Empire for the night. It confused me how they were friends after all the issues with me and Chuck and all.

I was in my room at the apartment with Vanessa. Tianna was sleeping in Vanessa's room with Alison.

"Hey, J! You should let me do your nails." Vanessa randomly suggested.

"Why?"

"Because, then you don't have to do them yourself. Plus, I was thinking about going to beauty school to be a nail artist and I might need to show them what I can do. I'll need a job when Nate and I get married so I can help pay bills and take care of our kids and stuff."

"You're already planning on having kids together?"

"Sort of. I mean, we've talked about it, but I'm not sure if it was serious or not. Like, we were in bed when we talked about it."

"Oh, so you're trying?"

"No! Not yet."

"I know. I was kidding." I laughed. "But I guess you can do my nails if you really want to."

Later...

She'd done my nails, and then insisted on doing my toenails to match. She matched them to my wedding dress, except they were black with silver embellishments.

When they were dry, she took a picture.

"Now you have sexy nails to go with the dress, and- well, you."

"What? Did you seriously just say that?" I asked her, laughing.

"Yeah. Why? Do you have a problem with that?" She joked, sticking her face in my face, making us both laugh.
Then the laughing stopped. I looked in her eyes. Looking in her eyes, with her face so close to mine, it made me feel strange, but a good kind of strange.
We had the same thought, or lack of thought, and we both leaned in a bit and our lips met.

Slowly, she put her hands on my back, and I put mine on hers. We kissed for a few minutes, then we realized how awkward it was supposed to be. We fell down on my bed, laughing our asses off.

"That should not have just happened." I said, laughing.

"Why not?"

"Tomorrow is my wedding, and you're clearly not Eric." I laughed even harder.

"Oh, well remember? Back when you were only a few weeks pregnant with Tianna? Eric said it's hot when we kiss."

"But he's not here to watch."

"Are you saying you regret it?"

"No."

"Then why shouldn't it've happened?"

"I don't even know." I told her, before kissing her powerfully. She pulled me down on top of her. This time, there was no laughing.
After a couple minutes, Chuck walked in, since the door wasn't completely closed.

"I didn't expect to walk in here and see you with your hands down each other's pants." He said, smirking at us.
We actually had our hands down the other's pants. Oops (not!).

We moved away from each other. I got up and walked out of the room to go get my baby girl, ignoring Chuck.

The next morning...

It was a little after 8 when I woke up. The wedding was at 1. I had time to eat breakfast and spend some time with Tianna. Then I needed to start getting ready. Vanessa, Lily and Serena were getting ready with me. They were my bridesmaids. Well, Lily was the matron of honor, so she shouldn't really be in the same category.

I did my own hair and makeup. My hair was in a fishtail braid on the left side, with a few curled pieces hanging in the front.
My makeup, was glittery silver eyes, with thin black cat eye liner and major long lash extensions. My lips were a light silvery pink, purposely so my marks on him when we kissed wouldn't be too staining.

Vanessa was the first of us to be completely dressed. Her and Serena's dresses matched: dark blue, spaghetti straps, and right above the knees. Their skirts were slightly poofy, but not extremely. There were gray bows around the waist, with a shiny blue crystal in the bow's center. They both wore gray 3 inch high heels.

Vanessa had straightened her hair and put in a shiny gray headband. Serena had put her hair up into a high ponytail, and had a few wisps in the front down.

Lily's dress was dark blue and gray. It almost had a striped, ruffled pattern, and a v-neck design. It was very sophisticated. she had her hair in a simple side bun on the left side with a blue barrette on the right.

My dress: the complicated one.

My dress was down to my ankles, and pure white. It was strapless, and the bodice was glittery. The bottom half of the back was ALL ribbon, and it strapped up very difficultly. The top half of my back was completely bared. The skirt of the dress was frilly and layered. Where the bodice and the skirt met, there were white crystals all around me, three whole rows.

My shoes were dark blue peeptoes, with gray lace all over, and silver embellishment like my nails.
Lily accessorized me with a silver and dark blue statement necklace with matching earrings.

My dad, Dan and Chuck wore gray suits with dark blue ties. I knew Eric's suit was black and his tie was blue.

The day was set, and everyone was ready.

"Are you ready?" Dad asked me as we left the apartment.

"Yes. I'm ready."