Author's note:
Greetings, readers! Okay. I know. I know. I haven't uploaded for centuries now. Actually, I've been so confused with this chapter. When I started writing the first diary entry, I already felt like it was total crap. But, thanks to my older sister who gave me some cheesy but good advice, I continued writing. I mean, I already had all my ideas plotted out for this chapter but for some reason, I had begun to think they weren't being executed well enough in my actual writing. But your opinion matters too, so tell me if it's total crap or if it's somewhat good or OH-MY-GOD-THIS-IS-AWESOME good (which is probably not going to happen but okay). Thanks for the reviews, they mean so much to me, you have no idea. I had uploaded this chapter earlier, but it needed editing so I deleted it...I'm sorry for that! And thanks for reading this ginormous author's note.
P.S. Sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes or something since I'm not particularly good at grammar and I don't have any editor sort of person.
Monday, November 21st, 2022, Everything is falling apart.
One may think that once you're drowning in a puddle of complete failure; it's alright, brighten up, because as cheesy as the belief is, we learn from failure and not from success. And up until today, that belief made total, complete sense.
It really did.
But, clearly, there are some people in the world who just do not escape failure, who simply do not reach success, who remain with that teeny tiny shred of hope in their guts that maybe, just maybe, if they give a thought to the words said by their totally insane mates, things will turn out just fine.
But they didn't.
They absolutely, most definitely, did not.
Actually, nothing turns out "just fine" in my life. I repeat: NOTHING. And it's time that I, for once, completely embrace this reality. If only, I hadn't listened to James. If only, my madness hadn't actually considered his words. If only, my stupid legs hadn't found their way over here. If only, everything hadn't ended up like this in my useless life. If only, I had known what awaited me.
Only then would my day be a billion times-no scratch that…a trillion times better than what eternal hell I had to go through today. Not even Merlin knows what eternal hell I had to go through today.
I mean, I was seriously considering diving into a volcano or just jumping off a bridge. My day was, seriously, that bad; just completely and ever so utterly bad.
And you know what pisses me off the most?
How much of a failure I proved to be during those two or maybe three minutes. I mean, forget leaping into the bloody air when getting Gryffindor in front of let's just say, a billion people, or flipping falling off a broomstick in first year from about eighty feet high during my first flying lesson, or bloody flirting back with the bloke who let's just say….BULLIED me.
Yep. Out of all of those moments in my life where I had just managed to be, basically, the most embarrassing and useless human being on the planet; God still decided to haunt me with the worst I have probably ever felt in like a gazillion years.
I mean, I just stood there like a total retard. Completely paralyzed, my legs tingling, my stomach ready to throw up whatever little amount of breakfast it had, my mind almost exploding with the rush of all of those thoughts flashing past. Everything, from head to toe of my body, was simply cursing life.
And what could I do?
What could I have possibly done when those eyes were just scanning my face?
Exactly: nothing. There was, simply, nothing I could do.
"Rose?" was all he had managed to say.
Clearly, he was shocked.
Heck, I was too. I mean, one second Madame Pomfrey is declaring that he was discharged earlier in the morning as he had suffered only minor injuries…nothing to get worried about; completely giving me relief for I didn't need to face him any sooner… And then the other, he was just standing right in front of me.
And here I thought that sometimes, just a couple of times, it was possible for me to, indeed, defy the laws of karma. But no...Just no. How could I have been such a complete idiot to actually believe that utter load of rubbish?! Ugh.
Towering over the white sheets of one of those Hospital beds, my body simply froze in terror. Madame Pomfrey, from right beside me smiled and assured before disappearing beyond the green curtain, "Well there he is".
As if I had actually wanted to see him. Clearly, Madame Pomfrey was unaware of the mini existential crisis growing inside of me.
And just to put it out there, it wasn't my pure bloody insanity that was causing me to curse my fate.
I mean, he bloody detested me.
And I'm pretty sure, that if someone completely hates you, the best thing to do is to avoid them at all given chances, even if you don't hate them back.
He leaned on one of his legs with his back brushing against the bright curtain he had drawn back only seconds ago while his eyes did not leave mine. It was almost as if he was searching for some sort of clue, some sort of secret, some sort of answer which could explain why I was standing right in front of him on the other side of the bed.
I was almost ready to say something like, "Okay, see you later!" and storm out of the hall but obviously, as much of a stalker my karma really was, my legs seemed to be locked to the floor. Seriously; they were flipping chained to the floor.
The broad light shun over us from up above the high window against the wall, making his light brown hair even lighter. He seemed to be a bit taller and I imagined what would've happened if Laura was there right next to me, I'm pretty sure she'd say something like, "OH MY GOD. Your cousin is so bloody hot" and I'd just slowly back away, ignoring the urge inside of me to gag.
I wondered when that awkward silence would break, or when would anyone listen to the desperate calls for help inside me. But that's when I noticed it. His mouth opened, about to say something. And I just literally fell into a dark pit right then and there.
And why you ask?
Of course he was going to say something like, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?! LEAVE RIGHT FLIPPING NOW!" any second. I just knew he would. So, clearly, I was controlling my bloody urge to cry.
But he didn't. Actually, what came out of his mouth was quiet different than anything I had expected, to be quiet exact. No seriously; very different.
"Uh…err…I just needed to get my prefect badge"
And at least a billion molecules inside me sighed in relief. Glory!
"Yeah…um…sure…go ahead" I stammered as he walked over to the desk on the corner of the bed and looked for the badge, he, I assumed, had forgotten when he was discharged. Bending over to the desk, he pulled some drawers and edged back and forth, searching for it before sighing and mumbling, "It's not here, I should've known"
"Is it that important?" I asked, inspiration coming quickly to talk to him.
"Yeah, pretty much…or you know, I'd be flipping roasted alive in the next meeting we have" was his response. And I laughed. I seriously just laughed. For the very first time in around three years, had he spoken to me in the way he used to speak to me.
And, of course, it hadn't been done deliberately.
Only after a few seconds did he realize what he had said as he glanced back at me, clearing his throat while bending back over from the drawer. And it was right then that the curtain flew open once again, but this time…it was the person that I least wanted to see.
Douche Daniel, what a wonderful pleasure it is to see you!
Yeah. In some bloody past life, perhaps.
Why am I not surprised? Wherever Albus Potter is, you can count on Douche Daniel, the prickiest of the lot of them, to be following behind.
Ugh.
"Did you find it?" he asked Al, not noticing me there. "Not yet" Al replied.
"Oh well…look what I mugged from some measly little first years" he snorted as he presented a large colorful packet held in one hand, all proudly.
Ugh. He, truly, just disgusted me.
"You better give that back, Daniel!" I demanded.
His face turned to mine, "Oh, well look who it is! Did you not bring your mudblood friend along with you?"
He did not just say that.
Absolutely did not.
A blizzard of rage boiled up inside of me as I narrowed my eyes, clenching my fists together.
That was it.
I was going to boil him alive.
Just flipping BOIL HIM ALIVE ALREADY, ROSE.
I mean, I already had the psychopathic sense to do it…So why not? Prepare to bloody die, Daniel Purvis.
But it seemed as if my preparation wasn't all that much needed, in the end.
"Leave her alone…Besides, didn't you have detention?" It was Al.
Wait a second…
Hold bloody on.
Did he just DEFEND me?!
I, Rose Weasley, yes…that girl who he hadn't spoken with for years now…that girl who he absolutely detested. Okay. I have officially no idea as to what's going on. Absolutely no idea.
"I've gotten into detention far too many times to even care. I mean…what's the worst that can happen?" Douche Daniel said as if it was simplest thing on the planet, shrugging.
Wow, no wonder he's such an arrogant, pathetic PRAT.
I mean, the last time I got detention, Mum sent me a letter…yes, a flipping letter being all like, "Rose, you shouldn't be talking in class…behave yourself blah blah blah". And he gets detention and he simply shrugs.
No seriously; I think this is an issue worth being discussed. He flipping shrugs?! As if it doesn't matter at bloody all…
I WANT TO KILL HIM.
"What's the worst that can happen?" I snapped…Just literally snapped at that moment. "Oh let's just say…you get EXPELLED?!" My voice boomed through the room as their eyes suddenly all turned to me. I blushed, trying to recover from one of my prime examples of my even-Merlin-thinks-this-is-way-too-much-impatience -in-one-single-woman, I continued, "I…I…mean...you know if you keep missing detentions, then-"
"What do you know? You're Ms. Goody-Goody…when was the last time someone as much of an angel as you got into flipping detention?" Daniel interrupted, raising an eyebrow.
Ms. Goody-Goody?
Now that's just one of the most bloody insane things I've ever heard. Since when am I a…goody-goody person?! What the hell is wrong with blokes these days…I swear…
"Please…I got detention around four days ago" I retorted, my suaveness coming quickly.
Daniel answered with a mock-shock expression as he gasped, "Whoa, it's the end of the world! Rose Weasley got detention! Good Heavens!" I simply rolled my eyes as he, clearly, very amused, held that smug smirk on his face the whole time.
Stupid Douche Daniel.
"Shut up" I practically scowled as he yet again stood with that stupid little grin on his face like pissing me off was the one of the most entertaining things in the world(Seriously, what a complete utter PRAT).
"Guess it's getting late…shouldn't we be heading for lunch by now, Dan?" Al suddenly blurted out all awkwardly.
Wait…no…what…
"Fine, whatever" was Douche Daniel's casual response as he glanced back at me and said one last time before disappearing along with Al. "Bring your mudblood friend next time, will you? It'd be much more fun like that"
THAT. DOES. IT.
I AM GOING TO SIMPLY KILL HIM RIGHT NOW. HOW DARE HE?!
Monday, November 21st, 2022, at Lunch, boiling with anger.
"You don't understand, Laura. It was terrible. It was…it was…it was so bad." Laura soothed my hair up and down while my face lay flat on the table, ready to burst.
"Hey, at least Al didn't explode with anger when he saw you. We actually discussed that before. Be more grateful." she answered matter-of-factly.
Oh that's right. We had actually gone through that.
"I've decided. It's my only purpose in life right now. To flipping boil James Potter alive!" I lifted my head and did one of my evil laughs before declaring, "This is the beginning of total war!" And as soon as I finished that sentence, a hand smacked me at the back of my head.
"Ow!" I immediately turned around to see James standing right behind me, hands on his waist. "Are you now?"
"I indeed am!" I replied, showing my fist to him.
"Yeah…Good luck with that" he said as he took a seat right next to me as usual and began chugging down some pumpkin juice, like my words meant absolutely nothing to him.
Why?
Just why?
Why on earth do I have to bear with all these irritating blokes?! UGH.
"Do you have any idea what eternal hell I went through today…because a certain someone hadsaid, "Oh, it's going to be just fine…Completely and totally fine" What complete set of utter lies?!" I glared at him.
He put down his now empty glass and began to munch down some peas, not glancing my way a single time, completely ignoring me at that.
Ha.
So he thinks he can ignore me?
That's hilarious, you know, considering how I should be ignoring HIM based on the total load of crap he made me go through today and I swear if-
Wait a second…hold flipping on.
No. Bloody. Way.
Are you kidding me?! Ugh.
No.
I refuse to believe it. I simply refuse.
"Did you know?! James Potter, if you bloody tell me that you already knew that Al had already been discharged…I am going to flipping toss you off the North Tower. No lie." I huffed.
No response (why am I not surprised).
"Wait…are you ignoring me?" I just couldn't believe it.
He:
a) Kept bugging me to visit Al 24/7 like a complete prick.
b) Next, he acts like he doesn't have any idea as to what I'm talking about.
c) And then he IGNORES me.
I'm seriously starting to think that today's the annual Let's-piss-the-living-hell-out-of-Rose day.
"All right, there?" a sudden voice interrupted my train of thoughts as I spotted the face of yet another cousin, find its usual place across me.
"Late again, eh?" Laura said. "I'm starting to think that it's not because of all the pranks you've been pulling…"
"Yeah, I saw you with that brunette chick earlier down at the common room…what was her name, again?" said James, rubbing his chin.
"Martha. Martha Jones. And find a better place to be acting like a blooming idiot…I'm trying to have some lunch here." Cheeks bright red and fingers constantly shaking, Fred began poking the potato salad on his plate.
Hold up…
Even people like Fred have crushes.
Whoa. I never thought this day would come. It's so…weird…I mean Fred? Fancying girls? Since. Flipping. When?
He's always been so fascinated with pranks and pranks and pranks and even more pranks that I never thought…that he'd be you know, fancying someone. I mean, those two definitely don't go together.
Just between me and you, this is quite the shocker of the day.
But I mustn't lose my focus. "James…answer the flipping question or I…I…" I looked around for something to threaten him with. Let's see…fork…potatoes …plate…"I'll throw this glass of pumpkin juice at you!"
And that's when he choked on his own food, grinning like a complete lunatic and struggling to breathe at the same time. You don't know how flipping hilarious that was.
I know. I'm such a cruel excuse of a human being…being amused at someone whose choking. But, it seriously was, awfully funny.
Regaining his breath after a long coughing fit, he cleared his throat and said, "Wow… a glass of pumpkin juice. Be careful. I've heard it can be highly deadly. All are warned." I smacked him hard on his arm while everyone broke into laughter. And by everyone, I mean James, Fred, Laura, and Lily who had just arrived after, as she said, studying for a Potions test in the library.
Stupid James. God, I hate him so much.
"Letters? Already?" Laura asked, looking up at the ceiling. I followed her gaze as I glanced up only to notice a storm of hooting owls flying in all directions, dodging chandeliers, sitting people on the tables, and even each other.
And then I proudly declare that out of all the millions of owls, I spotted my Muna flapping her wings, making her way smoothly over to me. She finally settled herself right in front of me. She, delighted to see me, began nibbling on the ends of one of my hair strands that touched the table.
Whoa. My hair's getting very long, isn't it?
Time to, seriously, cut my hair.
I reached for the letter tied to her left leg.
Of course.
Why the bloody hell am I not surprised? At all.
It's from Mum.
And how do I know that already, you ask?
Just look at how carefully that knot is tied…and also the gentle positioning of the letter. Ugh. I swear…Mum's such a bloody perfectionist (unlike yours truly).
I patted Muna and then she rubbed her head on my wrist (like the cutest screech owl in the entire galaxy).
"Wait? You got a letter?" Laura asked from beside me. "Yeah, I guess. But nothing special, really; it's from Mum…she probably wrote yet another lecture on my detention." I replied casually and Laura's face just flushed at the moment as she looked away, to the ceiling.
"At least, your parents actually bother writing you letters" was her answer.
Oh crap. Oh bloody crap.
WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT?!
Ugh. God, can I stop being so clueless all the time? It's seriously getting annoying.
Tuesday, November 22nd, very very early at Girls Dormitory, must sleep.
So here I am. At three in the morning, on my bed, trying to write with the littlest amount of light that the moon has to offer me…along with the loudest bloody strokes coming from my quill every now and then. I've probably almost woken Laura on the bed beside me, a gazillion times already.
Ugh.
Along with completely ticking her off since, you know my bloody cluelessness has no limits whatsoever; I'm also near to waking her up at three in the morning.
What. Complete. Epic. Failure.
I swear, my brain has got to be the biggest arse in the world:
"Oooh, I see, here's Rose whose had just the worst day in the bloody history of the worst days, coming across her cousin who completely hates her, having her Mum send her another letter about her detention, and then also upsetting her very best friend…you know what? I think it's the perfect day for me to laugh at her failure and not let her sleep at flipping all. Muahahaha…look at me and my evilness."
Scumbag brain.
Scumbag Douche Daniel.
Scumbag James.
Scumbag EVERYTHING.
Well, I haven't read Mum's letter yet. And obviously I'm not looking forward at all to reading it either. I mean, come flipping on, it's going to go on and on about my behavior and my grades and blah blah blah.
Besides, I have to apologize, as soon as she wakes up, to Laura. I mean, I just did the worst things a best friend could do. I referred to bad things and reminded her of them, I mean, Merlin, Rose, what kind of friend are you?
Things to do today:
1. Apologize to Laura about potentially being the worst mate in the world by referring to bad, bad, bad things.
2. Hunt James down and strangle some answers out of him (Seriously. What an arse he is.)
3. Find Herbology book. (Merlin, Rose…it's been missing for about a week now.)
4. Find a cure for procrastination(this definitely wouldn't work out)
5. Avoid the bloke who I bloody flirted with (I'm actually doing quite well on this one over here…Woohoo, finally I get something right!)
6. Read Mum's letter when you can.
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022, Breakfast.
Okay so maybe I couldn't apologize to Laura since I managed to go back to sleep at around five in the morning(Glory!) and then once I woke up, Laura's bed was empty and her bed was made…
WHY?!
I have to apologize to her. I need to apologize to her. I must apologize to her.
Karma, you complete creepy stalker! Merlin!
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022, Noon, Charms; Unrequited love.
Perfection does not exist. It's a well known universal fact. We, as humans, still happen to have standards of what we consider to meet perfection even though they, in reality, do not.
But that's clearly not the case with him.
He downright is bloody perfection, if you ask me.
And it's not just my deluded standard of perfection either. I'm sure philosophers would detest me for well eternity while I scribble this down in my horrible hand writing, but it's a fact. It's an honest and real fact.
And what is this fact, you ask?
Well, his existent and actual bloody perfection, of course.
And what makes him ever so perfect, you ask?
Well, let's just say…EVERYTHING.
In fact, he is perhaps the best looking bloke in all of History. No, I'm talking seriously extreme hot looks.
Even Teddy can't come a slight bit close to his looks.
I mean, have you seen that hair?! Well, I'm assuming yes, since everyone in their flipping right mind wants hair like his. And obviously since I have a bloody mob for hair; I flipping faint when looking at his hair for just a millisecond.
But seriously, it's impossible to not swoon over those long bangs and that layered and windswept jet black straight hair sent directly from pure heaven. IMPOSSIBLE, I tell you.
Not only that, pssh…that's just the beginning of his flipping perfection! He also happens to have the brains of a one hundred thousand bloody billion IQ score. No, flipping Einstein envies his brains, okay?!That smart.
Let's also not leave out his utter tallness and those deep blue eyes, shall we? Heck, I think I should just go ahead and continue staring at his awesomeness like the complete stalker I am.
Ah…just look at him sit on that bench two rows in front of me. Ugh. I'm sorry. I'm trying to control my melting all over the floor, but it's kind of hard, you know?! Especially when people such as Ryan Williams exist, I wish I could just have a bloody back bone and go up to him and just talk to him, you know. My life is so damn complicated.
Rose Weasley's Never Actually Sent
Notes to Ryan Williams
Since she has no life whatsoever
Note # 1:
Dear Ryan,
You don't really know that I exist but I just wanted to say; I think I'm pretty much in love with you.
Yours truly,
Rose Weasley.
Note #2:
Dear Mr. Bloody Perfect,
Greetings once again! I just wanted to say that if there's a sex God, I think it might as well be you.
Sincerely,
Girl head over heels in love with you.
Note #3:
Dear love of mine,
Hey again! Sorry to bother you but my eternal love would, surely, multiply itself, seriously, if you could please lower your head down a little because I can't see the homework assignment up on the board. I mean, it's going to be total crap but I guess I still have to do it anyway, right? Not that your head blocking the way is bad or anything, since you know, it's beautiful and wonderful and all; but I can't afford to miss that assignment since Rose Weasley always happens to do her essays. No matter how crap they are.
P.S. Why are you so tall? Hmm….guess it's part of your awesome genes. Oh well then, I guess it can't be helped.
Sincerely,
All red-girl mistaken to be on fire.
Note #4:
Dear bloke that can cure dragon pox with that hair,
Good Merlin, Ryan! I do believe that was just you who ever so kindly lowered his head down right there! I wish gentlemen like you could exist instead of let's just say psychopaths like Mudfloy.
P.S. Oh dear! You love me so much already that you can read my mind! O' great Merlin! See? Now, I can rub it in Laura's face that we're completely and totally meant for each other.
Yours truly,
Future Wife or…stalker…you decide, love!
Note #5:
Dear bloke sent from heaven,
Ha! We didn't even have any homework for today! Isn't Professor Travis being just too nice?! Or is it because of the light which radiates from you has ever so suddenly shined over him? Indeed a very good question. But I think we all know the answer to that one, don't we?
Note #6:
Dear well adored Ryan,
Sorry to bother you again but I'd truly love it if you could please stop whispering Merlin-knows-what to April. I mean, yeah she's terribly friendly and all, but honestly, have you seen those dark circles?! Does that girl ever bloody sleep?! I don't know, Ryan, but I think you should find someone slightly healthier than that. And I know, I know, I'm not that healthy when it comes down to it because of my mental state and all but come on, I'm at least trying to calm it down a little! My pure insanity, that is.
Sincerely,
Slightly jealous.
Note #6:
Dear bloke sent from heaven,
Have I ever mentioned how much I adore you? Must have. Because you did not just read my mind again and quit talking to April almost instantly after I finished that note?! Ha. I knew it! We're totally meant for each other! It's a fact. A well-known flipping fact. There's just one thing, though: If you could return my ever so great feelings for you, that'd be great.
Sincerely,
Distracted by your awesomeness
Note #7:
Dear soon to be husband,
Did I forget to say that you're the future father of all of my children? Good. Since you need to know that.
Sincerely,
Girl who got no work down while fantasizing over her wedding with you.
Oh well…that's how Charms Class ended. And my slacking off at work while drooling at Ryan Williams as well. But I can't help but wonder what would his reaction be if he actually read those? He'd probably just ponder when reading the name Rose Weasley since he'd probably have no idea who she is. And, you know, be totally creeped out. You can always count on Ryan's brilliance to help me through the awful days I've been having.
Still need to apologize to Laura though…Damn it…
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022, Afternoon, outside.
I seriously never thought that it'd be so comforting to sit outside in the freezing cold.
Yes. I know.
Before you re-read that sentence just to confirm if your ever so insane Rose has gotten even more insane than she already is, consider the following:
So…pretty much I'm the only one who has dared to challenge the weather. I mean, nobody's out here.
Yes. Me.
Isolated as it is out here, sitting on the wet, mushy grass while leaning on this pine tree's bark (I think it's a pine tree-not sure.)
Thank Merlin it didn't snow today, though. I mean, I'm getting really tired of the old breakfast-classes-lunch-classes-dinner-bed routine, you know what I mean? I want some sort of fresh air to fill my lungs (I know that sounded terribly cheesy, but I've been reading Laura's, Love is in the air saga since I had nothing better to do the past few days, so you can't really blame me…).
Anyway, I only have twenty something minutes, I assume, before having to return to classes, it is the lunch break after all…and obviously, yours truly is not prepared at all to face a certain Laura Brecht on the table…so as bad as it sounds, I'm skipping lunch.
I know.
Why the bloody hell am I in Gryffindor when I can't even manage to face my very own best friend?
But, hey, at least, I'm not starving to death right now, so it's not like it's the worst thing on the entire planet, really.
Sigh.
Merlin. It's so flipping cold, I swear. And you know what's worse? It's cold and humid at the same time…Bloody hell.
I clutched the insides of my pockets, shivering like a complete retard.
Why am I even here in the first place?
What sort of insane urge inside of me suggested that going outside when it's negative a billion degrees could possibly help the set of crap days I'm having recently. Ugh. And why did I write, that it'd be 'comfortable'. IT IS NOT!
Hey but you know, when you think about it, this scene is sort of really beautiful. I mean, the tree stands on a steep, small hill right before the Quidditch pitch; so you can imagine how much greenery is before me. Not to mention all the memories from the Flying lessons I had during first year.
Ah…nothing like falling from 80 meters high.
Ha ha…
Definitely not my finest hour. But is any time a fine hour for me? I mean-
"Oi, Weasley! What the bloody hell are you doing in this freezing cold? Are you flipping insane?!" I turned around, only to see the bloke who I've been ever so carefully trying to avoid for the past couple of days, standing right behind me (surprisingly, he didn't lose his balance as he stood, leaning on one leg, it was after all, a hill).
Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap.
Quick! Run! DO SOMETHING!
"Hey, Rose…" I heard the soft, gentle voice, which could only belong to no other than…, "Hey, Luke! Everything okay?" I asked, grinning up at him who stood with his happy-go-lucky, pleasant face right beside a psychopath I like to call, Mudfloy.
Seriously, how could someone as kind and polite and basically the nicest guy on the entire planet, end up being friends with someone like…let's just say…Mudfloy. Some things definitely do not make any sense whatsoever in this world.
Besides, what is he even here for?
Oh shit.
What if he's for…talking to me about the flirting business earlier?
NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I'm dying, here.
"Ignoring me, I see?" Now, this came bitterly from Malfoy, completely setting off the grin I had put on for Luke. I said, glancing up at him, "Ignoring? What utter load of nonsense?! Besides, I was just setting up a barrier, excuse me, since I don't need your Mudfloyness to come any nearer than this line right here…" I drew an invisible arc on the grass, midway between his body and my crouched one.
Must not act weird. Must not be nice. Must not be anything.
He smirked, yet didn't respond until a long pause had passed, "Mudfloyness, eh? Didn't know that was some sort of condition these days…" The grass rustled as he crouched down to take a seat right next to me, followed by Luke, who tried to pace himself, taking small careful footsteps to reach me as he stooped over to seat himself, on the other side.
"It's so c-c-c-c-old" Luke shivered.
What does Malfoy want? WHAT DOES HE WANT?
"Talk about Weasley over here being a flipping non-human being. How can you endure this much bloody cold?" Malfoy said, staring off to the Quidditch pitch.
"Luke; can you tell Malfoy over here to flipping man up, will he? It's not that cold" I answered, quite honestly. I mean, what is up with these blokes, it is cold, I admit, but I'm not shivering my arse off over here. Okay. Fine, maybe I am. But I don't completely detest the cold. I actually like it.
"Uh…yeah sure. Rose said you need to-" Luke began before Malfoy shot him an exasperated look. "I'm not deaf! I heard her"
"So…Luke, how's everything going?" I asked, my head fixed towards Luke's. I need to avoid Malfoy at all times. I can't pay attention to him. I can't. I just can't. I mean…if I pay attention to him…then he might start talking about the flirting events earlier, which I ever so clearly have no will to recall.
"Oh…I need help with Charms…We have this essay, not sure if your class did it already-"Luke said before he got interrupted by Mudfloy.
"Charms? Weasley can help you with that. She's Ms. Look-at-me-I'm-a-Charms-genius-woohoo…" This came from stupid little Malfoy, who obviously had no clue as to what he was saying.
Genius?! Me? Like those two words would ever, and I mean ever belong in the same sentence. Unless, you're a psychopath like Mudfloy over here. That's the only exception, I tell you. Only exception.
"Me? A genius? Yeah, maybe, in some sort of parallel universe." I answered.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO. MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MISSION AVOID MALFOY HAS SUNK DOWN THE OCEAN!
And you know what's worse?
I know. What could possibly be worse than this?
But, anyway, I turned to look at him staring at me. Yes. My eyes suddenly flickered out of nowhere towards his since they like betraying me just like my mouth did when Malfoy flirted with me and-
Wow. He has really pretty eyes you know? Round and big…navy blue…I swear-
I did not just write that.
Absolutely did not.
Mustnotlookathimmustnotlookathimmustnotlookathim.
"Luke, ask Malfoy what he's looking at?" Yes. That's it. I need to remain suave and smooth. Suave and smooth…suave and smooth…
"You heard her" Luke replied, exhausted.
Malfoy sighed and then mumbled something under his breath, looking away.
You know, I'd really appreciate it if you could be a bit louder, Mudfloy, yeah…thank you.
"Luke, can you tell Weasley over here that what I'm looking at doesn't interest her" came from beside me. My mouth dropped open.
"You heard him" Luke sighed.
"Luke, can you tell Mudfloy over here that nobody wants him here", I know that was mean. I know, okay? I just snapped. That's all.
"Luke, can you tell Weasley that I don't bloody care if anybody wants me here or not"
UGH. I hate him so much. Can't a woman sit wherever she wants without psychopaths forcing their way into sitting next to them?! Merlin.
"Luke, can you please ask Malfoy to flipping leave, since this area is restricted to all Mudfloys?" I backfired, urging my eyes to remain fixed at Luke's and not someone else's.
"Luke's not an owl, okay? And why can't Mudfloys be here, in the first place?" he replied, smiling like a complete retard at me.
"You're the one treating him like an owl! Stop contradicting yourself! You're such a hypocrite!" I rebounded, my head flying to face his.
"Sure, whatever you say" was his sarcastic remmark.
"GOD. I HATE YOU SO MUCH" I grunted(very loudly, to be precise) and Malfoy answered with a, "Like I care!"
"Would you two stop it?!" Luke suddenly blurted out from beside me, his usual gentle voice now more demmanding, shook both of us while I muttered ,"Sorry".
"He needed to tell you something. Now, are you or are you not?!" This, I suppose, was directed to Malfoy, who gave Luke quite the One-more-word-and-I-swear-I'd-kill-you stare.
"Tell me something?" I repeated.
Now what? What, possibly, could Mudfloy want after shooting a bludger at my cousin's face and then FLIRTING with me (But then again, I flirted back…but that's not the point!).
Whoa.
Did you see that? That thing….that thing in his eyes!
It almost seemed as if he was nervous or desperate…Merlin, I've never seen such arrogant prats like Mudfloy with that look…
Where's my bloody camera? No. I shouldn't be looking at him. Why am I looking at him? Why can't my stupid little head remain frozen at one place…seriously…
"Nothing…I…I…" What could it be? Did I do something? Was it about our detention? OH SHIT.
What if it was about our FLIRTING together?
What if he was just trying to tell me that he was just kidding (he had to be anyway) and that he still detests me like I detest him? What if…What if…WHAT IF ALL THAT WAS TRUE?!
Crap.
Double bloody crap.
He's going to tell the entire world, isn't he, about how I actually believed that I was worth something during our detention.
Ugh.
And then, contrary to the knot tying up inside my stomach, the bell decided to ring precisely at that second. Bloody hell.
Malfoy got up and dusted off the back of his winter cloak with the bits of grass that were on it and then waved an awkward good-bye.
Sigh.
So what now? Apologizing to Laura? Going to Potions? Wondering what Mudfloy had to flipping say to me?
I guess.
You know that's probably how the evening would've went if I hadn't, ever so randomly, picked up the letter I had placed inside my pocket. My fingers were already around it inside, so having nothing better to do; I got my hands out of there along with Mum's letter.
Ugh. Mum, why are you such a perfectionist? I mean, I haven't seen cursive handwriting since, let's just say, the third grade.
So that's when I began reading it.
And also began the rest of a completely HORRID day.
Dear Rosie,
How's everything going? I know your classes have been getting really hard, you are in 5th year after all, so I've been trying not to send too many letters to you. But with the detention you received earlier and with the current events, it's getting slightly hard to do that.
I'm writing this letter, Rosie, to tell you something incredibly wonderful…Guess what?
We've already arranged all plans for Teddy and Victorie's wedding! So, during the winter vacation, we're going to have a wedding! Isn't it so exciting? I feel like I'm getting old now, though. I mean, time sure does fly.
Anyway, I think you of all people deserve to know, but…earlier, a letter was delivered to me.
It…told me that, unfortunately, Scorpious's parents are traveling to Romania during the winter holidays for some Ministry work…so, as Scorpious is the only child in his family…I'm afraid to tell you that he'd be staying over at our place during that period.
And yes, I know that he's not your favourite person in the world right now. But could you at least try to get along with him during the holidays? His parents are really busy and need to go on this trip, try to understand.
With love,
Mum.
P.S. How's Hugo? And have you already gotten some lectures about O.W.L.S. from teachers?
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022, Later, Potions.
This cannot possibly be happening.
In fact, it shouldn't be happening. It couldn't be happening.
THIS IS JUST NOT SUPPOSED TO FLIPPING HAPPEN, OKAY?
I am dying here. Literally, dying.
No. I refuse. I refuse EVERYTHING.
That is it. That is bloody it, okay?
It's about time I stop getting stalked by my karma. I've been waiting for a millennium now, I swear.
Besides, how could Dad allow all of this?! Mum, I understand...BUT DAD?!
"It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork" Madeline. Of course. You can count on complete slags to ruin an already ruined day.
Ha ha.
Very funny.
God, I hate her so much.
Then they all giggled precisely at the exact same moment, her and her stuck up mates, that is. She rested her hand on my table, smirking like she had made the joke of the century.
I glared at her. I utterly and completely glared at her. She smiled even more now.
I hate her. I hate her friends. I hate this day. I hate EVERYTHING right now. Nothing can be worst than this. Nothing, I repeat. This has got to be the worst day in the history of the worst days, I swear.
And then I don't know why, but out of nowhere, I felt my cheeks leaking down drops of tears.
I seriously don't know why.
Perhaps because of all the crap that was going on and that, Barbie Lydia and her mates were the last people on earth who I wanted to see right now.
"Did I hit a sensitive side right there, Weasley?" Barbie Lydia mocked, flicking her blonde hair, still smirking down at me.
Just shut up.
Just take your bloody mouth and shut it, woman.
They had all gathered around me, towering over my table, that is. It seriously just sucked. And, I swear, I bloody swear, okay? If that woman flicks that load of hair all over my face one more time, I'm going to bloody wring her neck. No lie.
"Leave her alone or I would bloody kill you, Madeline"
IT WAS LAURA! OH THANK HEAVENS!
Is she not mad at me anymore?
"Watch it, mudblood. You're getting on my nerves" Lydia snapped, glaring daggers at Laura, who stood in front of her, arms crossed.
"Well that's sort of the point, you know." Laura retorted, smirking.
Then the bell rang. And, rolling her eyes, Lydia made her way to her seat in the front row, along with her always-following-wherever-I-go mates.
Did I ever mention how awesome my best friend is?
I need to talk to her. I so need to talk to her. I need to tell her so much crap that it's literally killing me over here.
It's time to get some parchment already.
Rose: That was the awesomest thing on the entire planet, you know that?
Laura: What? The Lydia thing? Nah.
Rose: Are you mad, it was bloody epic, okay? Definitely one of your finest moments…anyway, the WORST thing ever happened today, I swear.
Laura: The worst thing ever? That bad?
Rose: Consider spending all your winter holidays with the bloke you completely detest.
Laura: Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Can't breathe over here. Malfoy? Is it Malfoy? It has to be Malfoy.
Rose: What do you mean, 'It has to be Malfoy'. I'm flipping dying here. Do you not realize at all, woman?
Laura: Come on, it's not that bad. It was meant to happen sooner or later, anyway. You two under the same roof and all…
Rose: You did not just say that.
Laura: I think I just did.
Rose: Ugh. I need extreme moral support here and all you can think of is, 'It was destined to happen, mate. It doesn't matter.' Some friend you are.
Laura: Muahahaha. Indeed. Oh and by the way where's your husband to be?
Rose: My husband to be? You mean Williams? Errm probably in Herbology right now, if I'm not mistaken. Why the hell are you asking me that at a time like this, though?
Laura: Oh Merlin, you totally stalk that guy, you know that? And no, I meant Malfoy. Scorpious Malfoy. The one who sits right next to you for this class. Ever heard of him?
Rose: Just bugger off already. I do not stalk him. And how the bloody hell should I know?
Laura: Speaking of your husband to be…Look who just arrived.
Rose: ABOARD. ABOARD. CAN SEE OUR MESSAGES!
"How's it going?" he asked casually, sitting himself next to me on the bench, placing his rucksack on the tables.
This is so awkward. This is so awkward. This is so awkward. I swear, this is so awkward.
What should I say? "Hey how's it going? I look forward to living with you" Ha.
Like hell.
Or maybe, "All right there, mate? Or should I say, roommate from now on?"
Where the bloody hell am I getting all these weird ideas?!
"You okay? You look sort of pale…" Malfoy said, after staring at me.
Of course, I look pale, you idiot! There's an inner battle going on inside me, do you not have any idea?
Wait…Did he have any idea? Did he know? Does he know that I know?
This is so complicated. I can't speak normally to him without him knowing there's something wrong and I can't speak normally to him in the first place because I'm supposed to be AVOIDING him.
"Err…yeah, I'm fine." I replied. Lies. Complete and utter lies.
And that's how Potions went. A stabbing silence and nervous glances at each other from time to time.
I wish I had never ever read that letter. I swear.
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022, Much later, Common Room.
The silencing charm is a charm that renders the opponent temporarily mute, noted to be immensely difficult to perform and-
Ugh.
I can't do this right now. I simply cannot.
I know it's due tomorrow, I really do. But essays for Charms Class are not as important as all the utter load of CRAP I'm going through today. I just can't. I just can't stand anything. It seems like my mind is about to explode with all these thoughts, to be honest.
"Charms, eh?" I heard from beside me. Ah, it's Dom.
"Hey" I said almost lifelessly as she rested her chin on my shoulder, looking over at my essay.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing." I answered.
"Lies" she said, as she bended back over and took a seat on the armchair beside me. "Come on. You can tell me anything."
"Dom, I really don't want to do this right now and-"
"Of course you do, don't be silly!"
"Seriously, I don't…"
"Oh wait! Is it…is it…about the…Oh my God, I need to tell Lucy right flipping now"
"Tell her what?"
"That you know that Malfoy's staying over at your place during the winter holidays"
I gasped. I literally just gasped, mouth dropped open. I thought I was the only one who knew. I thought…I thought…that this Malfoy thing was just between me and Mum.
"Wait…Hold on. Is that why you and Lucy were acting so suspicious earlier on? Because you guys knew? And you didn't bloody tell me?!"
That's when she stood up and awkwardly laughed, lifting up her wrist with no watch, "Good heavens look at the time! So late. Got to go, then. Bye!" And she's gone.
I am so going to toss her off a bridge. I am so going to toss EVERYONE off a bridge.
Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022, Transfiguration.
So that's it. Dom and Lucy already knew. Who else knows?
Oh Merlin. Oh flipping Merlin. WHAT IF EVERYONE KNEW EXCEPT ME?!
That is it. I just don't want to bloody live on this planet anymore.
I guess Mars will do.
"I'll be listing your partners, so please listen carefully" Professor Doris announced, her bony figure making its way towards her desk where she collected a small piece of parchment.
Partners? For what? Merlin, I got to stop zoning out.
"Ms. Brecht, you're with Ms. Madeline" she began.
And then the biggest death stare competition started as Laura got up from her table and walked over to Barbie Lydia's. She looked across the room at me and I gave her an I-feel-you-mate sort of look and she half-smiled.
"Mr. Purvis, you're with Ms. June" Sigh. At least I'm not with Douche Daniel. That's the best thing that's happened so far during this week, I swear.
"Mr. Malfoy, you're with Mr. Parkers" and then Malfoy rose up from his seat in the second row and walked over to Henry's seat.
Double sigh. Thank Merlin I'm not with Malfoy. That'd be the most bloody awkward thing on the planet.
Then the names passed and passed until mine came, "Ms. Weasley, you're with Mr. Martin" Glory! I'm with Luke! Yes! Finally, I'm not paired up with a total prick!
Then, Luke came walking up to my table, smiling childishly. He sat himself down next to me and so we awaited instructions. "Now, what you all have to do is practice performing the doubling charm with an easy-to-transfigure object. This assignment is worth a grade, so do it carefully. You may proceed now"
I first stared at the small clay pot in front of me and wondered how bad this doubling charm would go. Especially with a certain Rose Weasley who's terrible at Transfiguration.
"Hey…errm…I'm really bad at Transfiguration so…if I mess up-"I started, only to notice Luke laughing.
"Don't worry; I'm not that good either"
Isn't he the nicest guy ever, seriously…
And so we did. Proceed, that is. And it was the most embarrassing thing on the planet. With my epic failure of practicing my 'flicking the wand' and Luke's happy-go-lucky laughs. Hey, at least I had Luke's optimistic self to support me through epic failure, you know. After a couple of minutes, we had moved to the actual spell.
And so that was the beginning. The beginning of total disaster. And what you ask went ever so wrong?
EVERYTHING, I TELL YOU.
Luke went first. He lifted his wand and flicked it in the most swift circular movement ever (which yours truly could never possibly have done) and said, "Geminio!" at the precise moment and there it was, our clay pot had doubled into two.
Whoa. Wait…what…
"I thought you said you weren't good at Transfiguration!" I complained, still shocked. This is betrayal. This is complete and total betrayal. I need someone to be bad at doing this along with me, damn it!
"I'm not particularly good…I mean…my older brother taught me how to do this ages ago…so…" He explained.
I give up. I bloody give up, okay?
Why don't I have older brothers that can help me through my failure at Transfiguration?! Ugh.
"That was very good, ! Congratulations!" Professor Doris strolled up our table, and eyed the clay pot's double back and forth. "It's a perfect double!" she exclaimed, grinning (wow I've never ever seen people like Professor Doris smile) and then she cleared her throat. "Very well done, Mr. Martin. Very well done".
At this point, everyone had turned around from their objects to be doubled and was looking over to our table.
And then, Professor Doris turned to glance at me, her grin, noticeably, vanishing. "How about you give it a try, Ms. Weasley?" she suggested.
Hahahaha…How about I don't?
Bloody hell.
I mean….everyone's looking at us. Is this really necessary? I know I'm going to fail, something's going to explode or catch on fire….I just know it….and then everyone's going to be watching, too. Glory!
"Errm…I…" I began.
Luke nudged my elbow from beside me and whispered, "You can do it!"
I can't do it! That's the thing! Ugh.
"Is she going to start or what?" I heard someone murmur from the crowd of eyes that were watching me.
Since, when did people get so impatient?! Merlin.
If you were in my position, you'd know how bloody hard it is to start, okay?
But I know I need to…
Here goes, then…
I shut my eyes.
I flicked my wand; my hand trembling…This is not going to work. This is so not going to work. I bloody know it's not going to work. I softly said "Geminio!" and something happened.
Of course something happened.
I opened my eyes only to notice my worst nightmare come alive.
A flash went off with my wand and our small little clay pot simply went flying off our table.
Seriously; it went bloody flying off our table.
It shot straight ahead across the room, traveling much distance. The air suddenly became extremely tense; everyone watched the pot tick off in midair for just a split second before it struck a Darius Hamilton, seated far in the first row, right in the forehead.
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
You have absolutely no idea as to how painful it is to write these events, I swear…such epic failure in just one second…
As soon as the pot struck him, he immediately stumbled to the ground. There was a loud clatter; the pot had also hit the ground. His partner, Maria, who stared at his body on the ground, known especially for being a phobic to seeing any sort of blood, apparently, had some sort of panic attack as she shrieked in the loudest, most high pitched voice on the planet causing some people close to her to poke their fingers inside their ears.
And guess what?
It also caused Lucy and Dorian's object-to-double which just so happened to be a small glass cup (Seriously?! Seriously?! Of all things, it had to be a glass cup), to slowly crack and then shatter into pieces right on their table, Lucy edged back on her bench, trying to not come close to a sharp, pointy piece that threatened her, sticking out from the table.
And so the madness had supposedly ended; all eyes instantly swayed towards me…my face just literally flushed at that moment as my back slid down on my bench, my head heavily bowing, facing my lap in pure, utter shame.
I felt so dizzy; my head seemed to spinning in circles while my heart simply jumped a beat. I hunched my shoulders and tried to make myself smaller in my seat; less noticeable…I wanted them to avert eyes. I wanted them to stop staring at my utter failure.
And I remember the words echo through my head: KILL ME NOW. KILL ME NOW. FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, KILL ME NOW.
After both Darius and Maria were taken to Hospital Wing, Professor Doris announced, standing, arms crossed, in the front of the room, "I have just received word that Darius and Maria are alright. Darius happened to have a minor injury and Maria just suffered from a panic attack. Remember to finish your conclusions and…Class is dismissed" her voice was so solemn and serious. I mean, even more solemn and serious than it usually is.
Everyone packed their rucksacks and prepared to exit the classroom.
I didn't know what to do. I seriously didn't know what to do. I couldn't just get up and leave after all I'd done.
So I remained frozen, with a pit of guilt and worry roaming in my gut, watching everyone watch me.
I knew this was a bad day.
I knew this was going to happen.
I knew how much crap I was in Transfiguration.
I KNEW, okay? I understood.
"Ms. Weasley, I'd like to have a chat with you after class" Professor Doris said all the way from her desk, where she scribbled something down on a piece of parchment.
That's it. I'm screwed. I'm screwed. I'm so SCREWED.
I'm going to get expelled.
Professor Doris is just saying she wants to "chat" with me when in reality, she's going to be dragging me to the depths of hell before she'd proclaim, "You're expelled from Hogwarts. I never want to see you ever again!"
It's true. It's going to happen. It's most definitely, absolutely, certainly going to happen. I know it. I can feel it, damn it!
My eyes searched, desperately, for Laura…I found her, standing by the door, giving me a comforting smile before she mouthed, "It's going to be okay"
IT WASN'T, THOUGH. I KNEW IT WASN'T.
"You too Malfoy" I heard Professor Doris say, glancing up at Malfoy who stood, with his back to me, packing his things. He nodded much to my surprise and then turned to look nervously at me.
What? Malfoy? But he hadn't done anything wrong…why him? Wasn't I the one getting expelled? What the bloody hell did this have to do with Malfoy?
THE WORLD IS SO COMPLICATED.
And when the classroom had been deserted by everyone except me and Malfoy, we were asked by Professor Doris to come over to her desk.
And so we did.
I rose up from my bench and anxiously walked up to the front of the classroom where Professor Doris's desk stood. I fidgeted and shuffled my feet while staring at the many and ginormous textbooks piled up on her desk; including Advanced Transfiguration, Vol.1.
"I thought we had an understanding." She began, tying the knots in my stomach even further. I continued staring at her Advanced Transfiguration book…MUST NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. MUST NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. MUST NOT-
"Your grades haven't been all that good, Ms. Weasley" I cringed, trying not to blink, holding the tears in my eyes that threatened to drop down my cheeks.
I wanted to die. I wanted to die so bad. I mean, Malfoy was standing right next to me, listening to every word, and Professor Doris, seriously, looked so disappointed.
Great. The bloke who bullied me, gets even more encouragement to do so now.
Any minute now… I'm going to get expelled.
"I don't see any improvement between your grades this year from the grades you had last year" She continued her voice stern yet full of disappointment.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"I whispered, the chaos of emotions rasping up my throat. I hated myself so much at that moment. I heard Professor Doris sigh and a long silence passed, with me on the edge of tears and her trying to find a better way to say I was, indeed, expelled.
"I have decided…" she began.
"Please don't say I'm expelled! …I'll work harder…I'll…I'll…" I blurted out, the desperation stuck to my voice. It was hopeless. It was the truth. It was reality. And I was too afraid to embrace it. I was going to get expelled. No matter what I said.
"…You're not expelled, Ms. Weasley." She answered. My gaze flickered up to her.
"I…uh…what?" I said, dumbfounded. Her eyes studied mine before she repeated, "You're not expelled"
I'M NOT?!
YES! YES! YES! GLORY!
"But what I do have to say is…" she paused. "You'll need to work hard, Ms. Weasley"
"Yes. Yes. Work hard, of course." I repeated after her; it was clear that I was the happiest woman on Earth.
I wasn't going to get expelled! Who wouldn't be happy?
"And your tutor can notify me of that" she answered, rubbing her chin.
My what?
A…a…tutor?
I've never had a tutor before…wonder what it's like…
"Err…a tutor? Who?" I asked, noticing a tiny smile appear on Professor Doris's face as her glance shifted to a certain Mudfloy beside me.
"He's standing right next to you" was her reply.
It clicked. It all just clicked.
My head turned slowly towards Malfoy who stared blankly at me, a small smirk on his face.
He…was my TUTOR?!
Yes. My tutor…someone who helps one with a certain subject…Malfoy has never and will never help me. That's the most unlikely thing on the planet.
I need to pass this class. I must pass this class so that I could have a bloody future. And how is that even possible if I have someone like Malfoy as a tutor?!
Does Professor Doris realize any of this? Anything? From how this is going to be impossible, how I'm going to fail this class most definitely with someone as evil as Malfoy for a tutor?! DOES SHE?!
No. I refuse. I refuse EVERYTHING.
I'm going to fail this class. I'm a hundred percent sure. Scratch that. I'm a million percent sure that I'm going to fail this class.
Malfoy's probably going to be laughing at my failure all through our lessons and then he'll probably be feeding me some sort of false information. How can she make me endure all that?!
"You're dismissed" she said.
I dragged my feet to my table, grabbed my rucksack, and then simply stormed out of the classroom.
Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022, The location doesn't matter, damn it.
This is not happening.
I know it's not happening.
I'm sure it's not happening.
IT SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING, OKAY?!
Things like this just always manage to happen to me, don't they? They just always do. Bloody hell.
So here I am. All alone in the Girl's Bathroom on the ground floor. Bent over to a wash basin, the faucet running icy cold water onto my burning face, the tears bonding along with the water.
So…this is my life until now.
A fifteen year old girl, who always manages to get stalked by her karma, gets sorted into Gryffindor, is forced to live a month with the bloke who bullies her while becoming his student.
Why?! Just why? Why do things like these happen to only people like me?! I swear-
"Rose? You in there?" a muffled voice came from somewhere. I lifted my head from the plopping water to hear who it was only to listen to a Mudfloy outside, knocking on the entrance door. I turned the handle of the faucet, it creaked as the water stopped coming.
"Leave me alone!" I shrieked, turning around to stare at the large door.
"I would…just tell me if you're okay…" He said, the words twisting every strand of patience I had.
Professor Doris had probably sent him, hadn't she? To check up on me? Well, I didn't need him! I didn't need him at all! Neither his company nor his comfort! Nothing!
"Like you care! Go away!" I croaked; my voice raspy from my crying.
"I do care" was his reply. You don't…you don't care at all. You don't understand. You're just an arrogant, pathetic prat who's been bullying me since ever. How could you understand? How could you care?
"I said…GO AWAY!" I roared, the tears leaking down my cheeks.
"What's wrong? I've never seen you like this, you know that?" he asked.
Merlin, he's so persistent. Can't he just give up and leave?!
"I'm fine!" I answered, my traitorous body deciding it'd be the perfect moment for me to bawl my eyes out and hiccup.
"You don't sound fine…" he said softly. "Come on. What's wrong? You can tell me…"
I had just about had it with him.
"You want to know what's wrong?!" I huffed. "EVERYTHING!"
There was a strong silence before he said even more softly than before, "What about 'everything'?"
"You don't need to know!" I screamed my heart out before I felt so dizzy, so tired, so angry at everything that I just sighed and whispered, "It's complicated"
"How so?" he asked.
"It just is!" I replied, lowering down my volume this time; my throat had completely given up by now. Why can't he just leave?! Why can't he just let me be, let me be with my tears, with my sadness, with my anger…?! WHY?! It's a human right to be left alone, okay?! It is. And I deserve it more than anything right now.
"…Can I come in?" he suggested after a long pause. I looked like someone had clawed my face out; my eyes red rimmed and my cheeks burning red…How could I possibly come inside? How could I possibly face the bloke I completely detested like this?
Git. Think about what you say.
"Why?" I said, with a rebellious tone.
"Just let me come in" he repeated gently. "I need to see you"
"Well, I don't want to see you, so go away already!" was my answer.
I found myself anxiously staring at the door; if he dares come in, I'm going to wring his NECK. No lie.
And the door slowly creaked open…I saw him standing, the handle secured in one hand.
HOW DARE HE?! RIGHT AFTER, I TOLD HIM TO GO AWAY TOO!
Wait…what is he doing? What…
He quietly strolled inside, with gentle and careful footsteps right towards me…
"…Wh…Wh…WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GO AWAY!"
I felt his arms wrap themselves around me and one of his hands soothe my hair up and down, "It's fine. It's fine. It doesn't matter now" he whispered softly. I continued bawling my eyes out, the sense of argument lost inside me. I couldn't control it. The tears just kept coming and coming. "Sshh, it's alright" he said.
And don't ask me why I didn't bloody push him away, okay?! I was just far too tired and exhausted…so I just went along with it. You can't blame me, after all I had gone through today…It seemed like a hug was all that was needed for me to crack. And besides, he had a comfortable shirt. I swear…comfortable shirts, these days…they're so evil.
Before I knew it, I was only sniffing…the tears had stopped coming.
"Feel better now?" he asked, letting go.
"No" I murmured, averting eyes, still very rebellious, and he smiled.
"Care to tell me what's wrong, then?" he asked.
I didn't have any strength left to argue back, so I just went ahead "…My life is just complete failure! It's hell! Ugh. You'd never understand." I explained, holding back some more tears.
"That's all?" he asked, shocked.
Git.
I knew I should've pushed him back when I had the chance.
"What do you mean, 'That's all?'. It's more than all; my crap Transfiguration skills, how I manage to suck at everything, how I almost got expelled…", I began, leaning my back on the wash basin.
"Everyone has problems; you're not the only one. And you're not crap at Transfiguration; besides that's what I'm here for. And you didn't get almost expelled…", he sounded so sincere, that I almost believed him. Note that I said, 'Almost'.
"So Mudfloy, you're actually saying you're going to help me?", I raised one eyebrow and he laughed.
"Bugger off, Weasley. I'm trying to get over it myself over here." He answered and I snorted.
"So…you're actually going to tutor me?" I asked.
"Yep" he said casually.
"Without feeding me false information, that is?", I asked. He smirked, "Yep"
"I need to leave, Weasley…so decide when you want your lessons…when are you free?"
"Errr…I don't have any activities…so any day's fine, really" I replied.
"Alright. Wedneday's, then?", he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"…Sure…",I replied, shrugging. And...he smiled. Not one of those I'm-arrogant-as-hell smiles, but an actual smile. And for a second, he simply stared at me. I didn't know what to do so...I just looked away to the ceiling...before a reality struck me. Before my face darkened. Before I gasped and shot an exasperated look at him.
"HEY, THIS IS THE GIRLS BATHROOM!"
Author's ending note:
I hope you enjoyed! Sorry, this chapter was shorter than the others and sorry for delaying it. But, chapter 5 would probably come out sooner, since I have a friend who is obssessed with this...so yeah. Anyway, there's a whole lot of drama coming next chapter, there'd be more Ryan-Rose interaction and I can assure you, you would, indeed, see a jealous Malfoy.
Until next time! :)
-Hazel.