Just the Two of Us

Chapter Fifteen: Confrontation

Kurama watched as the ferrygirl's body showed signs that the potion is losing effect. Any minute she'll wake up.

He braced himself and watched as her pale face regained color, as her eyebrows twitched, as her fingers moved, as her lips parted... as her eyes fluttered open.

Confusion –

She didn't move. For a full minute they stared at each other, him, quietly watching as she blinked a few times, and her, frowning at him, convincing herself that she had just had a bad dream, and that that's just it – a really bad dream.

When she didn't move, Kurama took a deep breath and started, "Botan..."

Ignoring him, she looked past his figure, and all around them, finally starting to remember what happened and where they are.

And it was then that it finally registered to her: the dream was real.

Not a dream, but her memories, unlocked, coming forward after all these years. She would never have guessed, never have imagined, that those things had happened to her – to them.

Shock –

"I'm sorry."

She barely heard the words. But she felt him reach her hand, knowing she would need support. Quickly she sat up, resisting when he tried to assist. She turned her face away from him, knowing what's coming...

She clung to the edge of the couch, chest heaving, and Kurama didn't know how to calm her down. Even as she stared at the ground, Kurama can see the emotions quickly flashing across her face. Her shoulders started to shake. It has come and she couldn't hold back anymore:

Fresh tears.

Grief –

"Ryo... Amu..." Her hand flew to her mouth, trying to suppress an anguished cry.

Kurama knew that there is nothing he could say to to shield her from the pain, as she finally remembered everything and everyone they lost in their past.

Guilt quickly started to build inside him, but he knew better than to acknowledge it. What he feels right now is not important. What she's going through is more painful... a pain that only an open wound kept fresh for a thousand years would feel like.

"Botan..." he called again, straining from touching her. He had expected her to shout angry words at him. But she remained silent, except for the deep breathing and controlled sobs.

And after a while, she angrily wiped the tears away, stood in front of him, facing him for the first time.

Betrayal –

"Y-you... How could you take away from me everything just like that without my consent...? It wasn't just your past... it was mine too. It's all a part of me. To bury it, to keep it all behind me, to forget it all, should have been my choice to make, not yours!" She took a deep breath and fell silent, as if suddenly at a loss for words.

He waited, aware of the fists starting to form on her sides, unable to speak, as she clenched and unclenched it repeatedly. He didn't defend himself, but let her have this chance to say what she needs to say.

"You didn't even say anything when our paths crossed again... You could have..." she bit her lower lip, realizing that even she wouldn't know how to react if she was on his place. "I... I don't know what you could have done when we met again here in Ningenkai. But how you went on keeping the past from me, and how you'd never have told me if that potion didn't manifest side effects after all these years, that wasn't fair!"

She turned away from him and he became aware that she was just as nervous now as she was angry. She turned her gaze towards the window, and for a moment he thought she was deciding to fly away and never look back. But she shook her head the way she does when she decides something wouldn't work.

"I don't know what to do," she said softly. "The old me, the me that I just remembered, would have easily forgiven you whether you're sorry or not. The me who met with you earlier, the one that doesn't remember, would maybe feel outraged and hit you with an oar but will maybe forgive you easily too... but the me that I am now..." She stopped, suddenly aware of his quietness, and lost the words as she realized he had been studying her.

Kurama stared at the ferrygirl standing before him. In his mind, the world around them faded, leaving no one but her to exist in his world, making all of his senses tuned in on her.

He realized what she meant when she said 'the old me', 'the me who met with you earlier', and 'the me now'. This Botan standing before him now isn't the same Botan he met (and married) when they were younger, innocent and carefree. She isn't the same Botan he met with earlier, the Botan who cheered for them during missions, often worried but funny and optimistic. This Botan is one who knows the joys and sorrows and secrets of both, and with that knowledge, she's like a somewhat grown-up version of her past selves. Physically she is the same. In all other aspects she isn't. And it is him, past and present him, who had done this to her.

Botan stared back, feeling as if time stood still, as if every living thing held its breath as they watched each other.

She saw the look on his face. That look, the look he has whenever something about his past is brought up, whenever he felt ashamed or guilty of something he's done in the past. She realized that she is a part of that past he had chosen to leave behind. She stared at his red hair, his green eyes, his mouth, his nose, the contour of his face. This Kurama is not the same fox demon she once shared a life with. Not the same. She remembered him and her: their past selves, how they looked at and felt about each other. No, not the same at all. Standing before her now is the Kurama who stole from the Reikai vault with Hiei, who later joined the tantei, who was always casual and friendly but to some extent kept a safe distance between them. He didn't erase his own memory of the past but he never made any attempt to return hers. He had fully burried that life - her, included - with no intention of digging it up again. Perhaps she should, too.

And then they're dragged back to the earth, back in this room. She smiled at him, and it was the saddest smile he ever saw on her.

"The me that I am now," she continued, "could see the line separating the past from the present. I know where we've been and where we are now... and though, right now, I still feel like I'm in the middle, not knowing what to do and who to become with all these things I just remembered about myself... if it is still possible, I would like to walk out of here and still be the same me, ferrygirl and assistant to Yusuke, crazy and silly and optimistic, a friend to all of you..."

"We could still be that." Kurama swallowed, "Friends," he offered, not really knowing what he's saying, or what she wanted to hear. He was knew to this; he can't remember being tongue-tied in all his human years, he couldn't remember a time like this when he had no idea what to say.

Instantly, her eyes glistened with tears, and he thought she was about to cry again. But the tears didn't fall. Instead, her lips formed a thin line, and she said, "But I haven't forgiven you yet."

And she walked out, leaving Kurama to feel like he had been kicked in the chest.

"Interesting," Kuwabara thought, staring at the strange plant coiled around the gate handle. "A Makai plant that works as a timed-lock. This is quite handy if you're not in the mood for any visitors, or to keep bandits off your property, right Yusuke?"

They arrived at the meeting place a few minutes earlier than they agreed, only to find the gate of the lodge locked by some odd-looking plant that according to Hiei later, even Yusuke's rei gun or his spirit sword cannot break - not that they tried. It's easy to figure that if someone tried to remove the Makai plant in any way, it would act defensively. The fire demon, who arrived seconds after them, informed them it would, and also that the plant won't remove itself from the gate unless "it's time".

From where they stood it appears that no one's inside, but both felt Kurama's spirit energy. They called but no one answered. Yusuke briefly considered jumping past the fences but the plants crawling it - definitely Kurama's as well - looked too alive and suspicious they'd really rather wait for the gate to open than touch it. It was only a few minutes until it's time anyway.

"Yeah, interesting." Yusuke agreed, but for a different reason. "You don't think Botan's already in there and they just don't want us to... ah, disturb them?"

Kuwabara's face turned red. "Don't start suggesting things, Urameshi. Kurama and Botan... nah, that's not gonna happen. We arrived early, Kurama just didn't expect us to. That's all."

Hiei raised an eyebrow when the gate finally opened - the enchanted plant unlocked has crept away - and Botan emerged, walking so fast that she almost tripped.

Yusuke caught her in time. "Hey, Botan, what's up?"

"Nothing, Yusuke. I was just in a hurry." She straightened up and avoided his look. Quickly, she whisked her hand, expecting her oar to materialize. But it didn't. She quickly felt frustrated. Her memories are back, but she still cannot fly?

"You won't regain your spirit energy as quickly," Kurama explained. Everyone, except Botan, turned to him as he emerged from the gate. "It may take up to two or more days."

"Oh, so you've given her a cure already." Kuwabara felt relieved, but noticed as soon as he looked at the two that something's not right.

"Already? And here I thought we're here for a mission," Yusuke complained. "I was expecting we'll be sent to some dangerous place and maybe beat up some S-class youkai to retrieve whatever cure there is – hey, what's that for, Kuwabara?" he demanded when Kuwabara jabbed his side.

Kuwabara stared at Kurama, then at Botan. Yusuke caught on and did the same. There is something different with the ferrygirl's aura, both of them could easily sense. Both turned suspiciously at Kurama.

"We're not here for a mission, are we?" Yusuke wanted to know. "You've already found a cure before you asked to meet us here today, mission's over."

"Yes, you're here not for that reason." Kurama confirmed. "But because Koenma asked me to give you these personally," he handed each a package, two small paper bags carefully taped close, and told them not to open it until they're home. He ignored Yusuke when he wondered aloud why Koenma would ask him, instead of Botan or maybe another messenger, to give them the package. "...I also need a favor from you two. Botan still needs to recuperate, and Reikai palace is too busy a place to get a good rest, so I am hoping she can stay with you until she's well."

"Ah. That's why you asked Shizuru to lend us her car." Kuwabara said.

"Anything else Kurama?" Yusuke groaned. "Anything interesting at all?"

"Tell him so he can go," Hiei butted in impatiently, acting as if he couldn't stand the ningen's presence.

Kurama almost chuckled, seeing Yusuke's ears twitch in anticipation of what else he wasn't saying. "Koenma also asked me to gather you and announce that we are all invited to compete in next Makai tournament. Exact date and place will be announced later this year. Just a head's up, they're trying to keep the details a secret for the meantime."

As expected, Yusuke grasped in happiness. "Now that's worth all the wait. I'm all fired up! That was some great news, Kurama! But hey, since when were you assigned as Koenma's messenger?"

"Since we found out I'm the one who caused him to temporarily lose his most trusted messenger," he answered ruefully.

"Oh. So that's it, huh," was all Yusuke can say, his excitement washed away.

"I think we better go, now that everything's been said." Botan turned away as everyone's attention shifted back to her.

"We have Shizuru's car parked nearby. If you want, you can stay with us tonight," Kuwabara offered, catching up. "Miss Yukina is there too. Or is there anywhere else you want to go?"

"Anywhere will do. Thanks Kuwabara," she accepted gratefully. "I'm so tired, let's hurry." She feigned impatience and dragged Kuwabara away, nervously aware of a certain fire demon's stare. "Yusuke! What are you waiting for? Let's go."

Still on a staring staring contest against Kurama, Yusuke accepted that no one is going to explain what's going on. But before leaving, he warned the redhead, "You're going to have to explain all this soon."

"That was cowardice, asking ningens for help." Hiei remarked, as they watched the three leave.

Kurama nodded in acceptance. Yes, it was cowardice.

There was no need to invite those two to come to the lodge. He could have dropped off the packages in their respective homes and gave them the news all by himself. No. The packages and the news simply earned him another reason. The real reason he had to call them is that he didn't know how he will deal with Botan after the revelation.

Knowing her, he knew she would storm off after their confrontation, she would want to be alone but she still wouldn't be able to fly away to a safe place. He knew she would need someone to be there for her, and it's doubtful she would let him anywhere near her. That's where Yusuke and Kuwabara came to the picture - they were the closest to her aside from the girls. But asking for the girl's assistance is out of the question - it would be so suspicious, they would ask too many questions. And he'll leave it up to Botan if she would let the girls know.

"I see no need for me to come here." Hiei deducted, "It's not like you will need a shoulder to cry on as well."

"No, I won't. I apologise. I guess I bothered you for nothing," He laughed hollowly. "Are you leaving?"

"No." Hiei scoffed. "I thought I came here to spar with you. And you look like you need a sparring opponent right now."

Throughout their ride home, Yusuke quietly watched Botan. She remained quiet, staring outside the vehicle, her expression blank. It gave him an odd feeling that he couldn't explain. Maybe the car's moving to fast, or he ate something bad that morning, because he feels his stomach twisting into knots. He didn't like the feeling at all. It can't be just her silence, can it?

"Hey," Kuwabara called, his attention partly on the wheels and partly on Botan who was sitting still in the front passenger seat. He glanced at the back seat and saw that Yusuke's attention was all on her. "Isn't anyone hungry? Want to drop by the ramen restaurant, Botan? It's my treat..."

"I won't mind if you want to, but I'm not really hungry," she said with a smile. A forced one, obviously.

Yusuke forced a clown face. "Why so serious, miss? Do you want to go to the arcade with me? We'll have lots of fun!" he would have tried another funny face if she hadn't already stared away.

"She doesn't," Kuwabara mumbled.

Wincing, Yusuke agreed. "This is where we both admit we can't do anything effective and let the girls save the day."

"You made him really worried." Keiko informed her, returning to the room after answering a phone call from Yusuke. "He rarely calls for no reason, you know."

"I know." Botan admitted. She knew he made the guys so worried they asked Keiko to come over. Shizuru and Yukina were more than glad to have them. When Yusuke left, she was still too shaken by everything that she couldn't put up a smile to ease up his worry.

She did notice how awkward Yusuke said goodbye, and knowing he just didn't want to go yet, she had hugged him tightly, like a brother to a sister offering solace to each other, and assured her she'll be fine. I just need to rest, she told him. Next time we see each other I'll be a-okay. Me and Keiko and the girls will just go for an all girls night out.

Keiko smiled and joined them on the floor. They sat in a circle, cards and booze - courtesy of Shizuru - in the middle. Yukina looked engrossed with her cards, earlier Shizuru was teaching her cheats. They didn't ask any questions when they arrived - Kuwabara probably told them not to. They were there to make sure she won't spend the night depressed.

Botan knew them well by now. They will wait until she's ready to tell them. They won't push for details.

There's no need for it now. She's ready to tell her story.

To be continued. Thank you for reading :)

Ramblings, because I'm a talkative human bean.

1) Like many others, this chapter took longer to write than I expected. I didn't want to pour so much drama in it, because hey, I know YYH isn't a drama series like this fic xD But when I write, well, some lines just insists to be written, and I give up trying to write shorter chapters and faster updates.

2) It's proving to be quite hard to write a full chapter in Yomi's perspective. (No, I haven't forgotten him yet! He's reserved for a later chapter, because whatever happened to him is not part of Botan's memories.)

3) Lastly, this is actually just first part of what I wrote for chapter 15, but it's become too long I needed to cut it in two chapters. So I'll continue to work on the other half and publish this now :)