** Thanks for all the reviews!! I don't know about you guys, but I'm both excited and scared about tomorrow's episode. I may actually stay up late after my choir rehearsal to watch it because I'm just dying to find out what House is going to do about Lucas!! Usually I just watch it on Tuesdays after work, but I don't think I'll be able to stand the suspense. Eeek!!
True to his word, House had stayed away from Rachel's simchat bat. In fact, House had started avoiding Cuddy, Wilson, and pretty much anyone else in general for a good couple of weeks toward the end of February unless he needed them for something involving a patient.
House had almost started acting what one could call… normally. At first, Cuddy had taken his more even-keeled behavior as a cue that maybe he would be ready to hear the truth about her pregnancy; that was, until she found out the reason for his more balanced demeanor.
House, it turned out, had dropped his steady companion of vicodin for the more desired, but dangerous results of methadone. His secret had inadvertently come to light when his heart stopped while he was taking a nap, and Cuddy had demanded that he quit the methadone immediately. Not wanting her or anyone else running his life, House chose the methadone over his job.
Cuddy didn't want to believe the possibility that methadone could be causing House to walk out of her life for good. For a brief time, she considered using the truth to lure him back, but another idea came to her soon enough. Why not let him take the methadone? It was fairly safe as long as he was properly monitored.
Cuddy, therefore, relented and offered House his doses of methadone along with his job back. House accepted the latter, but not the former. The methadone, he claimed, had made him more suggestive to the demands of a young patient's parents, and House's passiveness had allowed an unnecessary procedure that had nearly cost the young patient his life.
All of the commotion surrounding House's methadone use, along with his temporary state of disinterest in her personal affairs, had caused Cuddy to overlook how much her figure was changing as she approached her fourth month of pregnancy. Cuddy would pay for her oversight, however, as House slowly reverted back to his normal and more observant self.
As House slipped back into the more comfortable clutches of vicodin, he also slipped back into his old habits of stealing Wilson's French fries and paying very pointless, but very entertaining visits to Cuddy's office. During one such visit, Cuddy was filing some papers and lecturing him about his latest exploit in the clinic that had led to a complaining patient.
"I'm just saying House," she blathered on as House absentmindedly sat on the couch and twirled his cane, "It wouldn't kill you to pretend to act like a human being for the five hours a week you have to spend in the clinic…"
She kept talking, but he wasn't paying attention to anything that was coming out of Cuddy's mouth. Instead, House was relishing in the opportunity to check out Cuddy's hot bod while her eyes were focused elsewhere. He started by watching the shape of her luscious mouth as it moved, trailing down to the perkiness of the twins, and as his eyes moved lower still House couldn't help but notice the slight abdominal swell in her profile.
With all of the craziness caused by the methadone, until that moment House had nearly forgotten about the whole episode of Cuddy's fainting spell and the ensuing pregnancy suspicions that said episode had caused. In those few seconds, though, House's mind began churning almost faster than he could process. He abruptly removed his feet from the coffee table and used his cane to stand up, looking at Cuddy all the while like he was trying to see right into her head. She was still talking, but she had yet to notice his penetrating stare.
"…and if you keep alienating the nurses, you're just going to be digging yourself into an even bigger hole…" Cuddy continued, but she trailed off upon noticing the unnerving gaze with which House had currently affixed her. "House?" she questioned in a small voice. If she didn't know better, Cuddy could have sworn he was getting ready to lay into her about something…
In fact, House had considered tearing into her right then and there for a millisecond and had even started to open his mouth, but a much more satisfying epiphany had suddenly blazed into the back of House's brilliant mind with the might of a nuclear explosion.
"Have to go see about a patient," he said impassively as he turned and limped out of the room. The look of confusion on Cuddy's face as he left her office would be no match for the look of horror he would invoke in mere minutes once his plan was put into effect.
Nick Greenwald, the current diagnostics patient who was suddenly afflicted with no discernable filter for what came out of his mouth, was brought to the CT scan room by Foreman and Thirteen, who were preparing to examine his brain. While House seemed to continuously suffer from a similar affliction, the difference between the two was that Nick Greenwald usually stopped to weigh the consequences of his words before he said them and desperately wanted his mental filter back.
House, on the other hand, never had a filter to begin with and had no desire to develop one. That did not stop him, however, from using Nick Greenwald's current state of unintentionally brutal honestly to his full advantage in exposing Cuddy's suspected dishonesty. As Foreman and Thirteen helped Nick Greenwald onto the scanning table, Thirteen was double checking to make sure the patient knew what it was they were looking for.
"So you're sure you understand the procedure?" Thirteen clarified.
"You ask me questions while I talk, you look at my brain activity to see where it's screwed up, and then you cut out the screwed up part to test it," Greenwald recited with disdain. "It's depressing, but it's not rocket science."
"I think he understands," Foreman said with a knowing glance at Thirteen.
"I don't mean to be abrasive… especially since you're such a pleasure to imagine naked," Greenwald said lecherously to Thirteen, but immediately catching his slip. "Again, sorry."
"It's ok," she said dismissively as she checked his position.
"Thank you for understanding," he emphasized again. "I'd do you, though," his lack of filter added as an afterthought. "Really, my apologies, this stuff just keeps coming."
"Really, it's ok," Thirteen reiterated, just as Cuddy walked into the room.
"House paged?" she asked a little apprehensively as she surveyed the scene.
"Whoa… I would do her in a minute with fudge and a cherry on top…" Greenwald said bluntly while he checked out Cuddy, as an expression crossed between shock and horror swept across her face. "Would someone please explain to this woman? There are only so many apologies…"
"He has frontal lobe dis-inhibition," Thirteen stated simply, but unfortunately for both women Greenwald just kept right on talking about their perceived best assets.
"I've already embarrassed myself with one doctor," he directed at Cuddy, and continued, "who I am at this moment imagining naked with you on a king size bed and a mirror on the ceiling… I am so, so sorry… but if I couldn't have both of you together, you would definitely be my first choice…" Greenwald continued with a gigantic grin to Cuddy.
"Where's House?" she asked Thirteen and Foreman wearily, already suspecting the answer.
"It's like trying to think of an elephant…" Greenwald persisted, "Not that you're an elephant, but your breasts are actually pretty big for you being so tiny… and you've got a little belly… hey, is she pregnant?" Greenwald directed at Foreman completely seriously, "cause that's even hotter…"
Before any of the stunned doctors could answer him, the lights went on in the CT observation room. There sat House, feet propped up on the desk, cane spinning in his hand, looking very pointedly right at Cuddy. She turned to face him, but almost just as abruptly turned on her high heels and walked out of the room.
"Was it something I said?" Greenwald gingerly asked the two remaining doctors.
"I have a feeling you just expedited something that was bound to happen sooner or later, anyway," Thirteen answered, sharing a significant glance with Foreman. As they were talking, House got up and purposefully followed Cuddy through the outer doors of the CT room and into the hallway.