Just the Two of Us
Chapter Sixteen: Moving Forward
Recap: Finally, Botan awakened, fully regaining memories of their past. Shock, grief, and betrayal was written all over her face, but all Kurama can offer is to start over and be friends. Rightfully angered and hurt, she walked out, finding the rest of the team outside. After giving them Koenma's message and a package, Kurama asked Yusuke and Kuwabara to take the ferrygirl home. She ends up staying at Keiko's house with Shizuru and Yukina, revealing to them the story of her past life.
The next morning, in an abandoned shrine near the city.
"This was the only Jizō shrine in this area before the city temple was built. It was active until the old couple who kept this shrine abandoned it a decade ago," Shizuru informed the girls.
They woke up and headed out early that morning, on Yukina's suggestion to visit the city temple and pray for those who died in the tragedy, even though it was a thousand years ago. Perhaps it was the only thing they could come up to offer the ferrygirl, after she told them the truth. She was grateful for the suggestion, as she had no other idea what to do that day. She didn't feel like returning to Reikai just yet.
In the morning, however, Shizuru decided to bring them to this secluded, abandoned shrine instead of the city temple as they planned. "The city temple is not as quiet there as it is here," she told Botan.
"Thank you," the ferrygirl murmured. It's true that she wasn't up to being around strangers right now.
"I wasn't aware that there's a shrine here. " Keiko said. She had lived in the city all her life, but she never wandered to this area. Besides, if she walked from her home, it would take almost an hour to reach this place.
"I'd been here," Botan said. "A minute walk from here is the place where Yusuke fought Gouki..."
"Oh. This is the place, huh..." Keiko looked around. She saw a statue at the center - a statue of a monk holding a baby in his arms. "It's a Water-child Jizō statue," she explained to Yukina, who was looking at it curiously. "The statue represents the guardian of the unborn babies, and children who die very young..."
Yukina nodded, grateful for the information. It was rare for a young koorime to die, and she was still not very accustomed to the human world's traditions and beliefs.
"In Reikai, we have a special garden for young souls," Botan said in a shaky voice. "We ferrygirls are allowed to enter, but I never went there. When I first tried to enter its gates, I suddenly felt cold and dizzy... and really, really sad. I decided right away that I don't even want to pass by that garden. I didn't understand why, until now..."
Keiko took her hand and squeezed it.
Quietly, they all walked towards the statue. They offered a prayer for Botan and Kurama's child. They also prayed for Kurama's brothers and everyone who died in the Village of Peace.
A long silence passed.
Staring at the old, unkept statue, Botan couldn't help but think of all the what ifs... what if their child survived? What if Amu and Ryo lived? What if Kurama didn't return her to Reikai? What if they stayed together? Would they have remained together until now?
It was inevitable to think of what could have been, Botan knew. She is a ferrygirl, she has dealt with death and tried to explain it to the newly gathered souls for a thousand years. It helped to understand, but... it doesn't make the pain any lesser.
Death will hurt, regardless of who you are, who died, what circumstances, and however long ago it happened.
The girls held her hand as she silently cried.
When she visibly calmed down, they started to go. They didn't have a real destination, and just walked in a slow pace.
"So, do you want to have him back?" Shizuru surprised Botan by asking.
Keiko and Yukina waited for her to answer.
"No." She shook her head, knowing that the girls are disappointed by her answer. She remembered what Kurama said about moving forward and starting over in a clean slate. "Now that I'm a little calmer... I have to agree with what he said, that we should start over, as friends."
"You were married," Keiko quipped. "I don't know the laws of Makai, but both of you are still alive, that should still count for something..."
"Yes, it still does count, even in the Makai law," Botan admitted. "But you see, it's been so many years... It wouldn't be fair to bind Kurama to a union made a thousand years ago. He's gone through so many things before he got this peaceful life, and the last thing I'd want to do is to disrupt that."
Keiko still did not agree, but held her thoughts. It's not her decision to make, afterall...
They walked aimlessly in silence. Soon they found themselves walking on the arcade street, which was a fifteen minute walk from the shine.
Somehow it wasn't much of a surprise when they saw Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama walking towards them; they have the tendency to appear when you least want them to.
Botan felt the tension quickly building among them as the boys came nearer, so she breathed deeply and put on a cheerful face.
"Oi, Keiko!" Yusuke called before anyone else could speak. "I was just thinking of inviting you to watch the arcade tournament today!"
Keiko frowned, "Why would I want to-" then she blinked, and realized what Yusuke was thinking. She wasn't about to join in, however. Lips pressed in a thin line, she showed her disapproval. Yusuke winced.
"Miss Yukina, would you like to watch it, too?" Kuwabara nervously offered.
"Stop, you two," Before Kuwabara managed to lead the koorime away, or before Yusuke convinced Keiko to go, Shizuru intervened. She gave each boy a disapproving look. "You're acting like immature fools," she scolded. "There's no sense in making people nervous by obviously conspiring to leave them together. They're old enough to know that they'll have to talk things through, and they will be the ones to decide when they are both ready. Right, Botan?"
Botan smiled to assure everyone who are watching her closely. "Right." Seeing Yusuke and Kuwabara's embarrassment, she immediately added, "Thank you for the concern, Yusuke, Kuwabara. But really, you don't have to worry about us. Kurama and I..." she started, looking past Kurama's shoulders, "We will talk about it... in our own time." And for their benefit, she smiled.
There was a long pause as the boys composed themselves, muttering that they just learned a few little details a while ago and the reality of it just haven't sunk in yet. They have assumed that Botan would never want to talk to Kurama again, and so they thought a little push was necessary.
"We'll talk when you're ready," Kurama apologetically told Botan, "And not before."
A quick glance at him was all she could do, as she agreed, "Yes. When I'm ready."
Kurama smiled. Noticing that people passing by them are looking curiously at their group - they were awkwardly standing outside a shop - he tilted his head, gesturing to the coffee shop across the street, "We're actually here to have breakfast. If you don't have any other plan, would you mind joining us?"
Isn't this a little bit too soon? Botan thought. She looked around and felt a little calmer, and thought that that maybe it would be okay - she wouldn't be alone with him. So she smiled, deciding that if she ever would feel comfortable with him again, it is best to start with hanging out with the whole team. It would be the easiest way to get used to his presence again.
"That would be alright, we can all have breakfast together."
Six months later, in Genkai's temple.
"I thought you'll never answer my call. You've been very good at avoiding me," Koenma accused, his expression unreadable, his chinky eyes hidden by the shadow casted by an unknown figure.
Botan chuckled, carefully placing the pink compact phone on the floorboards. She sat cross-legged a short distance away from it, giving the little prince a slightly far side view, a distance and angle safe enough to hide her expressions. It was already dark outside, and she was alone in the temple room.
"I told you, I am not going to return."
A long pause, and she heard a sniff - not from Koenma, but that shadow figure that is probably George the ogre listening in.
"I know."
Another long pause, and George wailed loudly, in a muffled voice insisting that Koenma should order her to come back, and in the first place should not have accepted her resignation, saying that she is greatly missed by the other ferrygirls and onis and ogres in the palace. He could have gone on crying out the rest of the day if Koenma hadn't thrown him out of the room.
She never returned to Reikai, not even once after she regained her memory. The night after they went to the shrine, she sent her resignation letter through another ferrygirl who was working in the city. She was the first ferrygirl to ever resign in a ningen kind of way. Other ferrygirls were given a different task or resigned after two millennia of service and became free spirits roaming through the palace or the ningen world. She was the first one to quit after just one millennia.
Koenma seemed to have expected it - appearing to her just once saying that if she was very, very sure of her decision, then her resignation is accepted. He didn't require her any explanation. He let her know that if she needed anything, it would be given her, and she was still welcome to visit the palace. The past week though, he'd been trying to call her incessantly.
Botan apologized for not answering his calls. "I was busy."
"Busy?" the prince laughed. "Of what? And here I thought we're being busy and you're living the life of a lazy spirit."
She smiled. "Oh, it's just as busy. I help Genkai take care of the temple and Puu and I also assist with the trainings."
Koenma nodded.
"You didn't call to ask me how I'd been spending days, Koenma-sama."
"Am I that readable?" he laughed. "Alright... I wanted to know what you think about the upcoming tournament."
Botan shrugged. Then, "I'm worried."
"So am I." He admitted. "Well, we both know they're all strong fighters... but this tournament is a little more political than the previous one."
The previous tournament was about two years ago, won by Enki. In his victory speech he announced that after three years there will be another tournament to decide who will replace him. Enki's reign so far had been a peaceful one, but not everyone is happy with it. There are, and will always be, demons who prefer havoc than peace.
A few months ago, Enki realized that he has served half his promised term, but he was afraid that the next ruler would be one of those who wants the exact opposite of the peace he achieved so far. This new tournament is to decide who will have the new position devised - the ruler's Peace Consultant. It will be the second highest position, and its term will be three years.
The first year of the winner's term would overlap with Enki's, the second and third will overlap the next ruler's term. This way, Enki thought, when he ends his rulership after a year, someone will continue his legacy of peace. This is also made so that the next rulers will never have full control of the Makai government; there will always be someone to balance him, in case.
It may be wise but very risky - it's very important that the winner would be someone who agrees with Enki, otherwise he'd have gained a powerful enemy for the last year of his term. But if it all ends well and the tournament ends with a good Consultant, then there would be a little less worry who will reign after him.
"I guess we will just have to do what we always do, huh," Koenma broke the silence. "We leave it up to them."
"Yes... I guess so," she agreed. She advised the same thing to Keiko when Yusuke told her about the tournament and she visited her, sharing her fears. She took it in much easier than before, though there was still a lot of fear.
"How's the training coming along?" Koenma asked though he has kept updated with the trainings occasionally watching it from his screen.
"As usual, Yusuke and Kuwabara are both being a nuisance to the others," she reported with a chuckle. "Genkai's considering to kick them out, but she decided she has to be around them more often so someone could kick their butt and teach them. "They're bad influence on Jin and Chu though."
"Just as expected of them. So. Any special visitors lately?" he asked in a teasing tone.
"Oh, just Keiko and Yukina helping me prepare meals once in a while," she answered nonchalantly.
"Any others?" he asked, really laughing this time.
She rolled her eyes. "If you mean Kurama, I see him whenever Keiko invites everyone to dinner at their restaurant, but no, we haven't talked to each other yet." Koenma didn't respond, so she continued. "If it makes you feel better, I do plan to talk to him before he leaves for the tournament next week."
"Good," he said, satisfied. "And maybe then you can listen to my side of the story."
She agreed. "You should join us here next week. Everyone will gather here to send off the team."
"Sure deal." After hesitating for a while, he mustered the courage to say, "If you ever wanted to come back to Reikai, you're still welcome - even if not as a ferrygirl."
Botan smiled, not minding anymore if he saw through her feelings onscreen. "I appreciate that deeply, Koenma-sama. I really do. I miss all of you there in fact. But for the past six months I'd been staying here in the temple, I've done a lot of thinking about my past... about where I am now and where I should go."
"And you've made up your mind."
"Yes, I have. I am sorry, but the steps I want to take do not lead back to Reikai. None of the it will lead me back to where I was." She paused, feeling in the soft night breeze from the open window, making her feel freer than she had ever been in her life. "I've decided that the path I want to take is the one that will keep me moving forward..."
To be continued. Thank you for reading. :)
Ramblings, because I'm a really really talkative human bean.
Though I'm more familiar with the anime, I originally intended to rely on the manga as my main reference for this fic. But the scenes I based some of the bits on this fic (those published and yet to be) were ones I had seen on the anime but when I later checked, were not in the manga. An example is this scene in the anime after Yusuke's fight Gouki, and Botan came face to face with Kurama for the first time. In the manga, there was only Yusuke and Kurama, and Botan wasn't there to assist Yusuke. Apparently it was added only in the anime. So, for those who asked, my main reference is the YYH anime.
So this chapter is actually the second part of the previous chapter, but somehow it just took me a while to finish it. Please be patient with me ^_^v It's truly tiring to work all week with computers and still spend your free time typing :p