The following story is brought to you by Lil' DeiDei. Kishimoto Masashi owns Naruto, but Dei-chan owns her ideas.
My brother and I were watching some old fioriparty videos on youtube the other day (specifically, the one about Sasuke hating snakes. "That's just mah pet snake Reggie. ^_^" Makes me laugh every time.), and I was reminded of what I was missing out on by not contributing to the ridiculousness that is the Naruto fanbase. So here we are.
Also, remember this collection is supposed to sound perverted. As a warning and all.
Now where were we…?
"Don't stop now! It's just… ngghh… just getting good!" Deidara moaned.
"Senpai, calm down," Tobi said, "I won't stop until you finish."
"Goo—ah!—good," Deidara muttered.
"Senpai, if you keep making all that noise, everyone else will want to join in," Tobi chided.
"No good," Deidara cried. "I'm not sharing. Your mud-bath-massages are to die for, un."
"Senpai, senpai, senpai," Tobi sang to the tune of the "Dreidal Song".
"What, un?" Deidara snapped.
"Touch my big long pointy rock solid hard pulsing shaft!" Tobi shouted. "Of rock candy!"
LINE
"Let us begin," Orochimaru hissed, drawing his blade.
"Oh, I started ages ago," Tobi said.
"That's… disgusting."
"I don't get it! Why does everyone think I'm so perverted?"
Pein stared at Madara. "Seriously?"
Madara stared back insolently through his mask.
"You jump Deidara every chance you get and are always talking about "stiff, hard' things, and stroking, and… ugh!" Pein's face wrinkled in disgust. "The other day, I overheard you say, 'Deidara, I want to touch it. No, don't put it away, I need a closer look.' Out of context, that sounds completely inappropriate."
"Oh. That makes sense now."
"It's long."
"I know."
"It's hard."
"I know."
"It hurts."
"It's supposed to."
"Can't you do it more gentler, Senpai?"
"How can I possibly thrust more gently than this?"
"You are not a good swordsman, Senpai."
"Senpai! Senpai, wake up!"
Deidara didn't move. Tobi kissed him full on the mouth. "OH MY KAMI! First I take a lightning bolt in the butt, and then you kiss me! Blech!"
"I'll take a lightning bolt in the butt!"
"Okay," Kakashi obliged him with Chidori.
"You suck, Senpai!"
"I do not engage in mouth-to-other-things actions, un."
"Not even candy? Yay, yay, candy! Yay!" Tobi smirked. "Wanna lick my lollipop, Senpai?"
"Penis, penis, penis, I want to touch Se—oh, hi Deidara!"
"!"
I'll end there. Thanks, Howard. Keep it up. =P