In the Bathroom
"Spread it all over, Deidara-Senpai. Don't waste a single drop!"
"I know, un. This... Gel is too valuable to waste any."
Tobi nodded approvingly as he worked the shower gel into a lather on his soapy hands.
"Remind me again," Pein said quietly, "why we thought a community bathroom would be a good idea."
"Cheaper," Kakuzu replied.
Pein nodded as Tobi continue to bleat about the glories of the white goop.
-/-
"Don't drop your soap, Deidara-Senpai," Tobi said in a creepy voice as he stood close behind Deidara in the group shower.
-/-
"Rubber Ducky, you're the one! You make Senpai so much fun!"
"What," Deidara said flatly.
"I'm imagining the ducky is you," Tobi explained.
"THEN TAKE HIM AWAY FROM THERE, UN!"
-/-
"I would like to bathe in a sea of your fluffy white stuff," Tobi said seriously.
-/-
"Ugh, I really need to floss my teeth," Deidara complained.
"I'd let you floss my teeth, Deidara-senpai. If you know what I mean," Tobi said, eyebrows waggling.
-/-
"It jizzed on me, un!" Deidara cried, upset.
Tobi appeared out of nowhere. "I can help clean that up." He licked his lips.
Deidara shrugged, allowing Tobi to use the extra toothpaste that escaped the container.
-/-
"Are towels optional?"
"NO, TOBI! BAD! TOWEL GOOD!" Deidara screamed, wishing for brain bleach to wipe that image away forever.
"What about underwear?" the masked man asked, holding his orange boxers from one finger.
"Eek!"
-/-
"This tub comes with a Jacuzzi!" Kisame said excitedly.
"Oooh!" cheered Tobi. He sidled up to Deidara. "Senpai, imagine all the nights we can romantically sip wine as the bubbles relax our muscles and put us in the mood."
"Mood for what?" Itachi asked, knowing he probably didn't really want to.
Tobi merely leered creepily at him.
-/-
"Oooh, tingly!" Tobi giggled, adjusting the knob. "Mmmm," he sighed pleasurably. "Much better!"
Deidara rolled his eyes. "Stop playing with your knobs."
"Again, really questioning that decision for a group shower, Kakuzu," Pein said, glaring at the man in question.
-/-