Rating: hrmhrmhrm K+ for mild mild mild swearing?
AN: Hiya! I'm late! I just finished my last midterm today, and I was so excited that I just decided to spontaneously write another one shot for the dynamic duo. The next few chapters will be from a list of words I have compiled, each one having an oddly specific meaning. You know, my favorite word is actually like that- defenestration. It means the act of throwing someone or something out of a window. It's very useful in everyday life. For clarification for this chapter, an abecedarian is somebody who is learning the alphabet. Also, any words that are italicised within quotation marks is spoken in English, otherwise it is merely there for emphasis. I'm proud of this chapter- it helped me vent my confusions and complaints about the English language- even though I'm a native speaker, haha! But seriously, sometimes English makes no sense. Anyways, I'm beginning to ramble a little bit here, so I'm gonna go ahead and cut myself off now. Read, review, enjoy, and if you have a have a specific 'special word' you want to see written, go ahead and let me know through a review or a PM!
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"My goodness, you really are an idiot. Try again."
Mai Taniyama, age 16, trying- and failing- to learn English. And she had oh so foolishly sought out her all-knowing boss for the task. It always troubled the young brunette whenever they had a case with an English-speaking ghost, and she couldn't understand a word of what was going on. Not to mention, ever since the oh-so-great Oliver Davis had returned from England, she realized that he could talk about her in English and she would have no clue what he was saying! And so, here she was, with a sheet of foreign characters in front of her, and Naru sighing for the millionth time in the past hour.
"Listen, Naru, I'm trying! It's just really hard because I have bad memory. I find it difficult to remember both the correct pronunciation and the form of each character, while still remembering that what they sound like is only their name, and not always how they sound in a word! Like this one, here," she pointed angrily at a letter on the page that to her, resembled a bunch of weirdly interconnecting lines, while to Naru, it was just an 'H'. "This one, you say it like eich, but in words you just expel more breath than normal. It doesn't make any sense!" Mai huffed, looking towards Naru with her cheeks blown out almost comically and a slight pout on her lips.
Naru, as usual, was unsympathetic to her plight. "Yes, that is correct. Now if you could get angry about every other letter, maybe you'll somehow get the hang of those as well. Mai, it seems like you have a gift for not understanding something, and yet when you get frustrated, you get it quite clearly when you express your anger. I believe that you just tell yourself that you are having a hard time, when in reality you are just fine. What is your issue with this letter here?" Her darkly clad boss motioned to a character near the end of the page. A few moments passed, and when Mai didn't say anything else, he looked towards her. Noticing how she just stood with her jaw dropped, too stunned from his analysis of her behavior to say anything, he flicked her forehead in order to bring her back to reality.
"Oh. Right. Sorry. Let's see... this one is said doburo yuu... Naru? What does the doburo part mean?" She glanced up to him, eyes wide with confusion and desperation. She knew her accent got in the way of some of the sounds in the English language, but she hoped he could still understand what she was trying to say.
"It means double," he answered brusquely, wishing she would hurry up and get mad at the stupid letter so that his job would be done.
"Oh. So is it named that because it's supposed to look like two yuu's put together? But... it doesnt! Not at all! I actually think a better name for it would be a doburo vee, because that's what it looks more like. And doesn't even get me started on ekuso. You told me that it's not a very commonly used letter, but when it comes at the front of a word, it's pronounced like a zee! What's up with that? And zee, oh boy, that's even more confusing, especially since you said that in England, it's also called zed. And furthermore..." As Mai continued on her tirade, Naru just focused on her face. Despite her getting mad at him tons of times before during cases, he had never truly paid attention to how expressive she was with a her facial features. He had always been too preoccupied with his logic, methods, and paranormal studying to waste time with silly matters like his assistant's eyebrows, of all things.
But now that he was with her in a slightly more relaxed situation, he truly got to see Mai in a different light. He observed every quirk of her brow, how she stretched her facial muscles and shifted her jaw and ground her teeth, and somehow all of this ridiculous stuff made her face look so damn appealing. He inaudibly groaned, knowing that if she could read his thoughts, she would probably attempt to inflict some sort of bodily harm. Luckily, he tuned back into her rant just as she finished going on about how stupid it was that the lowercase 'b' and 'd' look so similar. Standing as she concluded her speech, he remarked, "Good job. Now give me the alphabet in order."
Mai's jaw dropped. She had just spent five minutes of her life pouring out her soul and her anger towards the English alphabet, and now Naru wanted her to just get over it like no big deal? She just said why it was too difficult for her! Sighing, she looked at the first character on the page, expecting to have the pronunciation completely escape her. But she was shocked- not only could she remember what it was called, but also what sounds it made when paired with other letters when paired with other letters. "Ay, bee, see, dee, ee, ef, ji, eich, ai, jay, kay, eru, em, en, o, pee..." As she successfully got through each consecutive letter, Mai's smile grew larger and larger until she was practically bouncing for joy while reciting the letters. And then, when she was done with the verbal portion, she was even able to remember what they looked like!
While Mai sang gleefully and repeated each letter over and over, apparently pleased with how she said them, Naru just rolled his eyes. But it also crossed his mind that while annoyance and anger made her undeniably attractive, he decided that this overwhelming joy was much more preferable- the corners of her lips nearly reaching her sparkling eyes, and her hair bouncing and flying as she spun around, and- damn it. Naru realized that teaching her the alphabet would only lead to needing to teach her words, and then sentences, and then- you know what? Maybe he should just get Father Brown to help. He didn't know if he could handle that much more of Mai's face- er, antics.
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