Partially to make up for me not updating "Written in Blood" last Saturday, but mostly because I'm a strange little person who updates at odd times...

Here is the second chapter of "After Insanity". This is the first chapter in what will probably be a two-shot series, as it's already about twice as long as the first chapter was, and I have much more planned for this little mini-story.

This chapter mainly focuses on Estonia, and I will warn you now, there will be blood. And death. And me losing control of both Estonia and Latvia's actions.

So, with that said... Here is chapter two of "After Insanity".

All that this was supposed to be was an innocent visit. Just a calm, friendly evening, talking to each other as friends did. They were friends, after all, and more than that. They were brothers, and it would be fine. Things were always fine in the end, when he was with his little brother.

Except for that one time, when he stabbed his brother. Except for that one time, when he and his brother got drunk and wasted so much time. Except for that one time, when he wanted to kill them all, including his little brother, who had saved his life.

Except for right now, when he felt the urge to kill stirring inside of him. And this time, the only target in reach was his little brother, whom he did not want to hurt. Or did he? It was hard to tell, especially with that boy, who could be so sweet, and yet, so infuriating.

"Eddy?"

His little brother's voice, so innocent and sounding slightly scared… Scared for him, or scared of him?

"Latvia."

His own voice was near monotone, which was not a bad thing, but was not good either. He needed his voice to be calm, normal, rational… Sane.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay," Estonia thought bitterly, "If I were okay, I wouldn't be letting you curl up and hug me like that, because that is not how I operate."

But he needed Latvia, needed the little boy's presence like an alcohol addict needed his liquor.

Speaking of alcohol, he had meant to ask Latvia how he was doing with his addiction, which he had discovered only when the child had broken down in front of him, crying about Lithuania, who had apparently discovered Latvia's 'secret' outlet. Which everyone in their former family, with the exception of Russia, already knew about.

"Russia would have killed him if he had known it was Raivis stealing his vodka."

Not that Russia hadn't killed Latvia anyways. He had, at least once, and probably at other times that had simply gone unnoticed by Estonia.

"Perks of being an immortal being. You can die over and over, so many times. You don't escape the cycle until the nation you personify is dissolved."

"Eddy?" Latvia was once again bothering him, as he had all evening. The tiny boy had come over for… Estonia did not know what. But Latvia was starting to irritate him, and being irritated was not a good thing when one was recovering from a recent episode of outright insanity.

"I am fine," he said quietly, "Stop talking to me."

"Why?" Latvia asked, blinking up at him. The small boy was curled up next to Estonia, his head resting against Estonia's arm. He could not quite sit tall enough to comfortably rest his head on the Estonian's shoulder.

"Because I don't want to talk to you right now," Estonia said.

"But why, Eddy…?" there was an almost whiny tone in Latvia's voice, and it made Estonia feel like slapping the small boy.

"No, no, no, do not slap Latvia, send him home before he gets hurt hurt hurt…"

"Why are you here, Raivis?" Estonia asked, leaning back against the sofa, "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to see you," Latvia said, "I haven't seen you in a really long time…"

"You saw me two weeks ago," Estonia said, "When you came crying to me after Lithuania found out about your little…problem."

"Yeah, but that wasn't a social visit," Latvia said, obviously trying to disguise how much it hurt him to remember that Lithuania now knew about his alcoholism, "And this is!"

"Well, I'm done being social," Estonia muttered, "Go home."

"B-but…" Latvia was sitting up, now, a surprisingly alert expression on his face, "Eddy, I…"

Estonia said nothing, waiting.

"I still need your help," Latvia said softly.

Estonia paused, trying to keep the annoyance and anger he felt from showing on his face.

"He can beg for my help, but I can't get any help from him! Never, never, not after last time… I let him help me, let him heal me, and then I stabbed him. And then later… He died trying to get Russia to leave me and Lithuania alone. Can't ask for his help, but of course he gets mine…"

"And what help do you need, Latvia?" he said coldly.

Latvia stiffened, looking almost frightened.

"What's wrong with you?" he whispered, sounding frightened, "You're acting weird…"

Estonia had suddenly had enough. Enough of this play-acting at polite chatter, enough of Latvia's innocent little voice, enough of Latvia being frightened of him, enough of Latvia himself.

"Raivis, get out!" he growled, glaring at the small boy, who froze, wide-eyed.

"Eddy…" Raivis murmured, "Eddy, that voice… That is not sane Eddy's voice…"

It was, Estonia knew deep inside, most definitely not the voice belonging to 'sane Eddy'. He knew this, but still, the knowledge that even Latvia-Latvia, whom he had tried so hard to protect-knew that he was insane… It was terrible, and it made him ever angrier.

"I said get out!" he snapped, lashing out at Latvia. He had not meant to hit him hard, but he knocked the startled boy from the sofa. Latvia landed on the floor with a startled whimper, blinking up at Estonia.

"Eddy, Eddy, don't hurt me!" Latvia whispered, his gaze frightened, his eyes sad, "Please, it's okay! I'm right here; I'm not Russia or anybody scary! I'm Latvia! It's okay…"

And then Estonia really had had enough. Because it was not okay; it would never be okay again. He had lost his mind, Latvia did not-could not-understand. And if the silly little boy did not understand, then how could he tell Estonia that it would be okay?

"It will never be okay!" he shouted. He was standing now, glaring down at Latvia, who stared up at him with utter terror in his eyes, "You have no idea, do you? Do you, Raivis?!"

He did something he would regret for the rest of his life. He kicked Latvia, who let out a quiet, strangled sob.

"Eddy, no…" the boy whispered, "I don't know how you feel, not really, but…"

"Then don't tell me it will be okay!" Estonia shouted.

Later, he would curse himself for the paranoia that had caused him to hide a gun under the sofa cushions. For he found himself with the gun in hand, rage in his heart, and an urge to kill that sprang from somewhere in his shattered mind, which was now beyond all rationality.

"It. Is. Not. Okay!"

He was shouting, blinded by rage and hatred, not necessarily for Latvia, but for everyone who had allowed him to slip into madness without so much as a word to help him. He knew, somewhere deep inside, that it was not Latvia's fault, but he no longer cared. The memory of Latvia that was foremost in his mind at this moment was that of Latvia running away, leaving him alone voluntarily, instead of being dragged out by Lithuania or Russia or someone else. He remembered that all of this had started because Latvia had said or done something to anger Russia when Lithuania was not there to save him, and so Estonia had been forced to step up and take the fall for Latvia. He remembered that all of this had happened because Latvia could not defend himself.

"You're right," Latvia said breathlessly, wide-eyed and fearful, "I'm sorry, Eddy, I know it's not okay, but… P-please don't shoot me!"

"Please don't shoot you?" Estonia asked, smiling widely, "I thought you wanted to know how I felt, Lati. Well, let me tell you something. The way I feel…starts when someone you love hurts you!"

He pulled the trigger. Latvia screamed, and Estonia laughed.

"Does it hurt yet?" he asked.

Latvia stared up at him, his violet eyes filled with tears and sadness.

"Eddy, Eddy, I'm sorry…" he whispered, sobbing, pressing his hand against the place where Estonia had shot him in the stomach, "I guess… You were mad at me, right? For leaving you… That one time… When you tried to kill yourself or whatever, I heard you… You were screaming at Russia and Toris, and then at me too… 'Are you happy now?' That's what you said, Eddy… You blamed us… I'm not happy. I'm sorry I left you alone to get in trouble with Russia when Toris wasn't there to save us, and…"

"You're just saying that," Estonia said coldly, "Because you don't want me to kill you."

Latvia closed his eyes, raising his curly-haired head higher, toward the ceiling above him.

"You already did, Eddy. You already did. You killed me on the inside, a little bit at a time."

The Latvian boy opened his eyes, staring straight at Estonia.

"Dying on the inside hurts a lot, huh, Estonia? At least you killing me was a little bit quicker and less messy… Than all of us together, killing you."

Estonia had no idea what Latvia was talking about, but it made him angry to see Latvia so calm when he was going to die. He was not certain at the time… He was never certain of why it made him so angry. Perhaps he was jealous of Latvia, of the innocence that the small boy possessed and that he, Estonia, could never have again.

Perhaps it was because Latvia could undergo this ordeal without begging for mercy in screaming tones, something that Estonia could never do. He was simply not strong enough mentally to withstand torture as Latvia was doing now.

Perhaps it was a deeper jealousy, seeing how the others went out of their way to shield Latvia, when they no longer shielded him, Estonia, who longed to be shielded from harm.

Or perhaps it was simply because Latvia was not in his position, maddened with rage. Perhaps it was because the small boy did not feel the agony of mind and soul that Estonia did, that he was angry now.

"So now you realize," he said, quietly, "You realize that you killed me?"

Latvia nodded, his face twisted with pain, blood spurting from the wound in his stomach.

"I'm sorry, Eddy."

And not quite knowing why he said it, Estonia replied.

"I'm sorry, too."

Then he laughed, smiled, and pulled the trigger again.

Latvia shrieked in pain, the bullet going into his shoulder this time. Then, he smiled, sad and broken and so very young.

"Eddy… Why can't you aim for the head?"

"Because I don't get a quick death!" Estonia snapped, "I never just get a bullet to the head! Never, Latvia! So if you want to know how it feels, you don't get a bullet to the head either!"

A broken sob escaped from Latvia's lips, and Estonia noticed then that tiny boy's lip was bleeding. Perhaps that was how Latvia kept from crying out-by biting his lip until it bled.

"I'm sorry, Ed," Latvia whispered. He seemed to be trying to stand, pitiful, pained whimpers the only sound he made besides the words that both angered and hurt Estonia.

"I guess I just thought you and Toris were supposed to protect me. I…I was a coward. S-sorry, Eddy… Please don't hate me. I tried to do the same thing, but… G-guess I'm just not strong enough for that…"

He looked up at Estonia, who suddenly realized, with a terrifying jolt, that it was Latvia in front of him, bleeding, probably dying, and it was Latvia who was apologizing, although it was Estonia who had committed a dreadful wrong, and who had shot the small boy.

This was not Russia. This was not the man who had locked him in a mansion and destroyed his mind. This was his little brother, his poor innocent little brother, bleeding on the floor.

"Lati…" Estonia's eyes widened, the gun clattering uselessly onto the floor, "Oh my God…"

He sank to his knees, his heart pounding, wondering what had possessed him only moments before, what horrible demons had caused him to harm his little brother as he had.

"E-Eddy…" Latvia murmured, "It's… I don't mind, really I don't..."

"I'm sorry," Estonia whispered, "I didn't…"

"I know," Latvia said, smiling softly, "I… I'll be okay."

They both knew it was a lie, for Estonia could see a pool of blood forming under Latvia, flowing down from the wounds he had inflicted on the boy, and he knew that the Latvian was going to die.

It was Estonia who was sobbing, then, deep, heartfelt, broken sobs, as he realized that he had, in essence, murdered his brother.

"Estonia… I'm scared."

"Well, of course he's scared, he's going to die and it's all your fault… And he called you Estonia. Not Eddy. Estonia. He's gone back to being scared of you, remember how depraved you really are. He…"

"Don't be scared," Estonia said, "You… You've died before, it's…"

"Like hell," Latvia said, childish and matter-of-fact all at once, "I know. Don't shelter me, just… I just…"

The boy was growing visibly weaker, his head bowed, his breathing ragged. Weakly, Latvia grasped at Estonia's pant leg, murmuring.

"Please, Eddy, I'm scared…"

Back to Eddy. So, did he want something from Estonia? Well, whatever he wanted, he would get it. Not knowing what else to do, Estonia lifted Latvia off the floor, gently and slowly, wrapping his arms around the little boy and pulling him onto his lap.

"T-that's better…" Latvia wheezed, resting his head on Estonia's shoulder. He could put his head there comfortably, now that he was sitting practically on top of Estonia.

"Thank you, Eddy."

It was only a few short moments later that the tiny Latvian became completely still. And then, knowing that Latvia was either unconscious or dead, Estonia lifted his head to the ceiling and let out an anguished wail. He began to cry harder, still holding Latvia's tiny, still bleeding body.

After a while-he did not know how long, perhaps only a few minutes, perhaps many hours-he realized that he could not leave Latvia like this. But he also did not have the courage to slice open the small boy's body and remove the bullets buried deep within him. He simply could not do it. He did not have the strength. So, he reached for the phone and dialed the first number that came to mind.

He did not realize what he was doing until it was too late, until he had already dialed the number of the wrong person, the last person who needed to know that he had gone mad, and murdered Latvia.

"Eduard? It's two a.m.…"

So it had been hours that he had sat there, holding Latvia's corpse.

"Get over here," Estonia choked out, "Please, Toris, please help Raivis."

"Raivis?" Lithuania asked, sounding panicked, "What's wrong with Raivis?!"

"I… He's at my house and I need you to help him," Estonia said, sobbing, "Please, I can't…"

"You hurt him…" Lithuania murmured, and Estonia knew, then, that he must not stay there. He could not face Lithuania, could not watch as the eldest Baltic broke down, as he likely would when he saw what Estonia had done to Latvia.

"Just come and help him," he whispered, and hung up before Lithuania could question him further. It was then that he realized that he did not know where he would go to escape Lithuania's questions, to escape having to see the eldest Baltic break. But he must go, and so, laying Latvia gently on the sofa, Estonia started for the door.

He turned back once, to see Latvia curled up on the sofa, smiling in a sad, almost peaceful way.

"Sleep well, Raivis," he murmured as he slipped out the door into the snow, "I… Forgive me. Please."

So, yes. That was a rather...violent...chapter. Next chapter will deal with the rest of this story, parts of which have been hinted at in this chapter. You'll find out where Eddy's headed, you'll (probably) see Lithuania's reaction to finding Latvia dead, and who knows what will happen as I write? I certainly have no idea.

As usual, I have no idea when that update will come, but it will likely be sometime next week. "Written in Blood" will go back to its regular Saturday updates this week, though. That I can promise.

Thank you for all your lovely reviews so far! I really appreciate them. :)