The door still stood ajar, and I heard the twins saying, "You're the first real transvestite we've ever seen."
Aha—the big-boned woman! From our telephone conversations I was already aware of Ranka's line of work, but we had never met in person.
I smirked as I heard the twins ramp up their mischief. "You finally put the moves on Haruhi, huh, Boss?" they chimed together." I leaned against the doorjamb watching the scene unfold.
"Sorry about him. He's a ladies man, if you know what I mean," said Hikaru to Ranka.
"He's a pheromone machine. In fact I bet he's fooled around with more ladies than you can count," Kaoru added with gusto. My eyes strayed to Haruhi's face to see how she felt about this accusation, but she appeared to be trying to make herself invisible.
Tamaki drew himself up and shouted, "No! I'm not a ladies man! I'm a nice guy. I care about her!"
Ice crept into my veins. I stood motionless, surprised by his sudden confession and dreading Haruhi's reaction.
"I'm being completely honest here," our prince continued dramatically. "I care about Haruhi like she's my own daughter."
Daughter? My breath rushed out and time began to move again.
"I get it. You must be that host club I've been hearing so much about," said Ranka amiably, spotting Honey and Mori peeking in from behind me. "Why don't you boys come in and make yourselves at home?"
Soon we were all seated at the same low table and Ranka was impressing the group with his knowledge of our names and class assignments, perfectly deducing who was who. Clearly Kotoko wasn't the only contributor to Haruhi's intellect.
The twins wore similar befuddled expressions. Skepticism laced their tone as together they asked, "So Haruhi told you about us?"
"No," Ranka crushed their feeble hopes. "Kyoya told me about you two over the phone." He turned to acknowledge me, patting my hand with gratitude.
"You know, you're actually quite beautiful, Ranka," I flattered. It was true. Though his frame would be on the large side for a woman, his face had a delicate bone structure mirrored even more flatteringly in Haruhi's.
"Kyoya!" Tamaki growled.
I avoided Haruhi's eyes and offered the excuse I had concocted, knowing this day would come. "We've been entrusted with the care of his precious daughter. It's only natural that we introduce ourselves and give him periodic reports." Still a little put out with Tamaki for stopping my heart earlier, I needled him. "Ordinarily that would be your job, wouldn't it?" I sipped my tea and watched Tamaki squirm.
Ranka continued to gush at meeting me in person at last. "I'm impressed the club has such a capable president. But wait a moment, you're only the vice president, aren't you, Kyoya? I guess that president of yours is pretty much good for nothing," he said sweetly. Obviously he was still sore about whatever happened with Tamaki earlier. I wondered what exactly he had walked in on.
Haruhi's temper finally exploded but thankfully was directed at her father for snooping into her business. I wasn't sure why her ire wasn't directed at me.
Ranka broke into her diatribe. "Haruhi, the thing about you is…you're cute even when you're angry!"
I smiled, silently agreeing.
This did not win points with Haruhi, however, and she left in a huff for the supermarket. Alone.
Ranka grew serious at last. He seemed thankful for an audience sympathetic to worries about his little girl. He described how Kotoko's premature death had affected Haruhi, and how hard she had worked to earn the scholarship to Ouran Academy. I had heard the stories from him on previous occasions, but it's not every day you can watch a transvestite doting father in the flesh.
"While I respect her independent spirit," he sighed, "I wish she'd be a little more dependent on me sometimes." I knew the feeling. Somehow her determination to do difficult things made me want to want to do them for her.
After a few more minutes' reminiscence, Ranka took pity on Tamaki. I hope you boys know how grateful I am. Since she's found you she seems to be happier. She's enjoying herself." He turned to address the dejected form in the corner. "Wouldn't you agree, Tamaki Suou?
"You know who I am?" Tamaki brightened visibly.
"Well, of course I do. Haruhi's told me a thing or two about you."
She talks about Tamaki, huh?
"You're the host club's bumbling president, aren't you?"
Oh.
Ranka insulted Tamaki a few more times for good measure, then suggested we 'have a little fun' tailing Haruhi.
At the supermarket, Haruhi was engrossed in collecting the necessary ingredients for our luncheon, and only realized we were there when Tamaki stumbled right in front of her. Apparently she had cooled off enough to carry on a normal conversation and quickly agreed to Tamaki's suggestion of a stew pot.
Honey ran up to her. "Haru-chan! Haru-chan! The bakery counter has all kinds of cookies and cakes. And they're giving out sample cookies! Here's one for you!" Delivering his prize, he dashed off again, Mori in tow.
I stepped up to her side as she selected some mushrooms. "Can you explain what 'double-coupons' means? Does it mean I need two of them?"
"No, Sempai," she explained patiently. "It means the store will double the value of the coupon when…." I half-listened as she continued, watching her closely as she explained the practice and its applications while simultaneously evaluating various packages of produce and assembling a recipe in her mind.
A smart girl, certainly. I mean, she won the scholarship for being first in her class. But she also had good sense. And poise—well, usually anyway. Her pride and sense of justice sometimes drove her to bark a bit, but I could see how, in time, those same traits would drive her to greatness. Not just in the sense of improved circumstances, but in character as well.
I had expected that seeing Haruhi in her common environment would make her less appealing to me. Yet the dinginess of her current circumstances only made her light appear brighter.
The stew pot had long been emptied, but the aroma of beef and broth still hung in the air alongside the sweet smell of camaraderie. As the twins recounted another story –tag teaming of course—I noticed Ranka yawning for the third time. Given his return to the apartment in costume this morning, I realized he probably had been working through the night and had not slept since yesterday.
When the tale concluded, I rose to my feet. "Well, I believe we have imposed long enough upon our hosts." The others grumbled but also began to push away from the table.
I turned to Haruhi's father. "It was a pleasure to meet you in person, Ranka-sama."
"Of course," he rallied. "Such a fine collection of handsome young men—you may stop by any time."
"Daa—aad," Haruhi registered her disagreement.
Honey stepped up to her at the doorway and slid on his sandals. "Thank you for making lunch for us, Haru-chan," he sang.
"Yeah, thanks," Mori agreed as they exited.
Tamaki swiftly grabbed Haruhi's hands in his and put on his prince persona. "It was a pleasure to partake of cuisine that was prepared by these hands." Haruhi appeared half vexed and half mortified.
Tamaki was already in motion to bring her hands to his lips, but Kaoru shoved him out the door, taking his place in front of Haruhi. "You finally kept your promise to let us see your home," he smirked, referring to the day she intervened to break up their infamous 'fight.'
"I guess I did," Haruhi agreed. Of course, she would be concerned about keeping her word—even to those two tricksters.
Hikaru joined his brother. "Now you should return the visit and come see where we live," he admonished her. Nodding, Kaoru added loftily, "It's only polite."
"Not today. I still have homework to do and…"
Ranka called me back to the main room, "Kyoya-kun, may I have a word please?"
"Certainly," I assured him. Catching the twins peering back at me from the doorway, I addressed them. "Tell Tamaki I'll be down in a moment." Then, wondering at the serious look on Ranka's face, I changed my mind. "Actually, tell him to go on without me. I'll just call for a ride when we're finished."
'Okay, Vice-Boss," they signed off in unison. I thought I heard one of them add, "Your funeral…"