Later... 12:04 am... Outside the hospital...

"Hey Jenny." Chuck greeted me as he sat on the bench beside me. "Aren't you cold?"

"No. Is there any news on him?"

"If there was, I would've told you already. How are you though?"

"I don't even know. I don't understand why he wouldn't want to live." I stumbled on the words, wiping tears off my face.

"Depression is a really fucking difficult thing to understand. Honestly, I don't understand why he wouldn't want to live either."

"Especially with our baby girl, and the one on the way."

"Also he's got you, his amazing wife, and you two are great in bed together, cuz remember I saw you before you were married-"

"Yeah I remember. He has a great mother and a great sister, plus Dad and Dan. He has so many people but somehow still felt alone."

"How do you know he felt alone?"

"He told me a while back."

"Eric did this without any warning?"

"Not even a slight warning."

"You didn't know he was hurting himself?"

"No, I knew. I've known for quite a while."

"Then that's sort of a warning."

"I tried so hard to help him. I got him to go to therapy, and he was on medication-" I couldn't continue talking. It was too much. I put my face in my hands and cried.

Chuck pulled me into a gentle, consoling hug.

Then Serena came out of the hospital, her face all red and splotchy from crying.

"Hey you two." She said to us, joining us on the other side of me. "He still hasn't woke up. At least he's alive though."

"Did they figure anything out yet?"

"Yeah, he overdosed, and lost a lot of blood. They're trying to clear the medicine from his system, and they gave him some blood to help with the loss of it."

"He's not looking great is he?"

"He's definitely not looking the best, but they're trying. They had to give him quite a few stitches and hook him up to a lot of machines, but his heartbeat is getting stronger, and that's good." Serena told us.

"Can I see him?"

"Yeah, but there can only be three family members in the room at once, and no one outside the family."

"Ok, I want to see him though."

"Right now?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, let's go."

"Do you want me to walk to the room with you?" Chuck asked.

"You can if you want." I replied tiredly.

"Then I guess I will." He said, and did.

The walk up to Eric's room was agonizingly long, and I was terrified of what I would see when I got there.

Eventually, I did and I had every reason to be scared.

My husband was pale as a ghost, his wrists were all bandaged up, his stomach (which he'd also cut) was too. He was hooked up to at least five IVs, and had oxygen tubes in his nose.

The second I saw him, I started crying again. It looked like he was dying. It killed me to look at him.

I turned and ran out of the room. I ran down the hall, into the elevator and out of the hospital with Chuck right behind me.

"Jenny, hold up!" He called at me once we were outside again.

"What?"

"Do you want to come stay with Blair and I tonight?"

"I don't know."

"Honestly I think you should. The little girls are already there with Blair. It might help you to not be alone tonight, where it happened."

"Ok, yeah you're probably right."

"I try to be. Come on, let's go." Chuck said, gently taking my hand.

"Hold on." I told him, before grabbing him in a hug. "Thank you." I whispered, still crying.

"Any time."

We got in his limo and went to his and Blair's house.

"Tianna and Kalika are sleeping." Blair told us when we came in.

"Thanks for watching them." I told her gratefully.

"They're sweet, and it gives me practice before our little one arrives."

"The guest room is over here, unless you'd want to sleep in our room." Chuck told me.

"What?" I asked, half laughing at him.

"We have a big bed, and if you didn't want to sleep alone..."

"Wouldn't that be weird? And crowded?"

"It wouldn't be crowded, the bed is really big." Blair said.

"As for the weird part, it doesn't have to be. You don't have to, it was just an offer." Chuck said.

"You're sure you wouldn't mind?"

"If it would make you more comfortable."

"It's obvious you want to, so just come with us!" Blair exclaimed, heading into their bedroom.

The next morning...

"That was still a little weird, but it was comfortable." I told Chuck and Blair as I fed Kalika her breakfast of oatmeal while Chuck fed Tianna.

"Yeah- Blair? Darling, is everything ok?" Chuck asked his wife, suddenly worried.

"Uh, yeah. Just morning sickness." She replied quietly.

"Oh."

"Don't worry about it." She told him. "It's just a reminder that we're going to have a beautiful baby."

"You guys are so lucky. You get to have your baby together. As it looks right now, I'll probably be having this baby alone." I sadly admitted.

"Jenny, don't say that!" Chuck gently scolded me. "You won't be alone."

"But I won't have Eric. The man who made this baby."

"Do you seriously think he isn't going to wake up?"

"No, I think he will, but there's no way in hell I'm letting him come home like it never happened."

"What are you going to do then?" Blair asked.

"I think I'm going to have him checked back in to Ostroff. They helped him before, they can probably help him again."

"But he got bad again after he left?" Chuck reminded me.

"Yeah, but he was better for quite a while."

"You think this time will be any different?"

"I don't fucking know, but it's worth a try! At least while he's there, he can't do anything!"

A while later, I got a call from Dad.

Eric had woke up!

Chuck took me to the hospital as soon as he possibly could.

I hurried in to see Eric.

"Can I have a bit of time alone with him?" I asked Dad and Lily, and they stepped out of the room.

"What is this about?" Eric asked me.

"Do you even have to ask that? Eric, why in the fucking hell would you do that?"

"I don't even know."

"Stop lying."

"Fine! I don't belong here! All I do is make you upset with my cutting and shit! I don't want to be a bother anymore."

"Do you seriously think that? Yeah, your cutting makes me very upset but other times you make me really happy! You're not a fucking bother! Eric, I love you! When are you going to understand that?"

"I do understand that, and I love you too, and I just want you to be happy!"

"Then don't kill yourself! I don't want to have to live without you!"

"Jen, I feel like I'm just a burden on you. Do you know how that feels?"

"Yes, but-"

"No, Jenny, you don't. Don't even fucking act like you do. It's not helping shit."

"Whatever. I just want to help you. If I can't, then the people at Ostroff will."

"What?"

"When you get released from here, I'm checking you back in there. Don't even protest it. You're getting the help you need."

"I don't need their fucking help-"

"Eric, just shut up! Ok? Later on, after you've gotten help, you see how badly you needed it, and you'll see that I'm doing this out of love and you'll fucking thank me for it! But until you realize that, just shut your fucking mouth." I exclaimed in anger, before walking out of the room.