When the school called and said that Jonathan was in trouble, neither Tony nor I questioned that he should go with me to the principal's office. Even if this relationship with Frankie seems like the most serious he's had since we've met, he is still Jonathan's almost-father. For over three years, he has helped me raise my son and has in fact spent more time with him than I have. Far, far more than Michael ever did. And he's a much better male role model, manly but sensitive.
Jonathan has always been a good kid, Mother would say too good. He's bright and polite. I was so proud when his teacher suggested he skip sixth grade and go into seventh. But it seems that he's not emotionally mature enough for junior high. He made friends with a bad boy named Walter, and together the two have been getting into all sorts of, well, mischief is too innocuous a word and crime is too strong. But they've been doing things like mooning the girls' gym teacher and snapping girls' bras.
OK, Tony's reaction to that wasn't exactly sensitive or enlightened. He claimed every guy snaps a few bras when he's Jonathan's age. It's so strange to think that when Tony was Jonathan's age, he kissed me, but, no, he did not snap my bra. It would not be as sweet a memory if he had.
I know, I shouldn't be thinking about that. He has a girlfriend, someone who knew him even before I did. And she's grown up to be his ideal woman.
But Tony and I are still parenting partners. He defended me in the principal's office. He said, "She's a great parent and a great mother. In fact, if I was to have a kid today, right now, I would want her to be the mother."
"Tony, that's so sweet."
"Well, I would."
"Well, you would be a great father."
"You think so? Well, I have a few—"
"I do. I think you would be—"
"Would you two like me to leave?" The principal's words reminded us of where we were.
Still, that meant a lot to me. Especially since Sam has bonded with Frankie. Sam and I have gotten close over the past three years, but I'm not her mother. Or maybe I'm too much like a mother, not fun enough. Just like I can't compete with Frankie for Tony, I can't compete with her for Sam.
I know that our little unofficial family may break up someday. I don't need Mother's warnings. But what am I supposed to do? If Frankie makes Tony and Sam happy, then I'll have to let them go.
I wonder if that's part of why Jonathan is acting out. Yes, there's the adjustment to the new school and the premature pressures of adolescence, but could that part of it, too? Maybe he was hoping for attention, and maybe he was hoping that he could show Tony that he still needs a father figure. Not that this was necessarily a conscious scheme, but unconsciously perhaps that's what he hoped.
Anyway, despite the adjustment problems, I'm making the decision that Jonathan should stay in seventh grade. I gave him the chance to decide for himself, but I can see that he's still enough my little boy that he wants me to choose for him. And I choose the tougher path, because I love him and I want him to reach his full potential, not be too scared to change his life for the better.
Jonathan thanks me in relief and heads back upstairs. Tony tells me I did good, I'm a good mother. And then he says, "I want to tell you I meant every word I said in that principal's office today."
"Oh, Tony, I want you to know that I did, too." I did, I really did, although of course we can't have a child together, especially not with Frankie in the picture.
He moves around behind me and I expect him to pat my back. Then he says, "Because you know, I love snapping brassieres," and snaps mine!
For a moment I'm stunned that he would do that. And then I chase him up the stairs. I corner him at his closed bedroom door. "Don't force me to retaliate, Mr. Micelli!" I exclaim. Then I realize what I've said. What would I snap on him? His waistband?
"What are you guys doing?" Jonathan says, coming out of the bathroom, his hair no longer spiky.
And then Sam stands in her doorway. "Yeah, what's all the running and squealing about?"
"Nothing, Sweetheart," Tony says. "We were just fooling around. Uh, I mean."
She rolls her eyes. "Goodnight." She shuts her door.
"You two are so immature," Jonathan teases and goes to his room.
He's right though. Tony and I were acting like we were in junior high. But there was also an element of adult play, like when we had the flour fight in the kitchen a couple years ago and it led to a long, sexy kiss. If the kids hadn't seen us just now, I might've chased Tony into his bedroom or at least kissed him against his door. We should not be flirting like this!
"I'm sorry, Angela."
I can't read his expression. Guilty, yes, but something else. It's probably best if I don't find out.
I shake my head. "It was just harmless fun."
"Yeah. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Tony."
As I head to my room, I glance at Sam's door and hope she's not going to tell Frankie about this. I don't want Frankie to know anything that Tony and I said or did to each other today.