Chapter 21: The Cardboard Box.
I let the emptiness consume me. That and the second bottle of firewhiskey. If the world could see me now. Here sat the great Harry Potter, in an empty house that he built himself. Nothing but this stupid chair and boxes full of stuff I don't even want anymore. I don't want any of it.
I plan to sit in this chair, with nothing but this bottle of firewhiskey until the end of time.
Until the very end.
I raised my bottle towards the empty room, to the boy who lived.
Pshhh. What a fucking joke.
I resisted the urge to blast every box in this place to pieces. What were they worth anymore? Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Without Ginny, this is exactly what I would be. Some pathetic loser sitting in this very chair with a half empty bottle of firewhiskey absolutely housed. Talking about how once upon a time I had loved a girl, and I lost her.
The bottle in my hand was mysteriously empty. Now this would not do, why is the drink gone?
I tried pushing myself to my feet to find myself another bottle of this magical pain killer but somewhere along the way I forgot how to walk, or my head somehow learned how to spin in circles.
I might have had a tinge too much to drink.
But what did it matter anyway?
I sank back into the depths of my recliner staring at the dancing flames of the fire. The dying fire was the only light illuminating the contents around me, the contents of a life I never really wanted. I didn't know what time it was, but I could feel that I was completely knackered. I needed sleep. My hand rubbed at my eyes only to come away wet. Was I crying?
My eyes drifted shut, lazily. The darkest shadows of my soul emerging from their crevices and assaulting my consciousness. I didn't have it in me to fight them off anymore. Reality washed away replaced with vivid horrific nightmares. I faced them as I sat. In this chair looking them dead on. Resigned to my fate.
Let them come.
A/N: So I am doing something a little bit different and I wanted to put a note in here so that you wouldn't get confused. This next piece is going to be in Hermione's POV. I have stuck to only Harry and Ginny thus far so I wanted to preface the next part letting you know this will be inside a different characters mind.
I had not seen or heard from Harry in four days. Considering his partiality for lengthy absences I suppose I shouldn't let the fact that he has made himself scarce bother me; but my wedding is in less than a week. And though I appreciate that he has been having a bit of a rough patch since his return I think that I am well within my rights to find out where in the world our best man is.
He left the burrow without a word, and though in the past he has been a bit dodgy about the details of his whereabouts I know he wouldn't leave without giving a proper goodbye. Yet no one has heard a word from him. Not even Ronald, and if that didn't set off some major red flags then I'm not sure what could.
Since he is not at the burrow, there is only a number of places he could be. My first instinct was that he took a room at the Leaky but I figured if that were the case I would have seen some article about him being sighted there. Whether or not he enjoyed it, Harry was entirely too famous to be walking around Diagon Alley without it making some sort of national headline. That led me to Neville who hadn't seen him but he was excited for the wedding and informed me that he was bringing Hannah as his date. I'll have to redo the seating chart again.
He had to be at his parent's house. I racked my brain and tried to remember if Harry had mentioned how the renovations were going but for the life of me I could not recall anything. I'm hoping that he simply hadn't said anything or I would feel absolutely awful knowing that I had been ignoring something as significant in my best friends life. I pulled my coat tighter around myself as I walked the dark road towards Godric Hollow. The last time I had been here was during the war. Everything seemed so much different now. Less menacing. Softer. The details from those nights in the war were still vibrant to me, sharp edged and clear as day. Like they had happened only moments ago. Now, walking down this same cobbled street in search for Harry, it was almost surreal. As if this was the dream and we were really still in that tent in the woods, trying to stay sane.
I turned the corner onto the street where Harry's Parents house once stood and was faced with…. a house. There was no longer the burnt tattered remains of what once was, before me was a beautiful two story building. It's chimney a dark silhouette against the star littered night sky. The windows large and welcoming. It blended in seamlessly with the rest of the street, as if it had always been there. Like it belonged there. The architecture was humble, giving it a homey quality akin to a small cottage, but it was apparent that there the floor plan was rather spacious. It reminded me of the burrow in a way.
Tears prickled the back of my eyes. Oh Harry. You did it.
A dim glow filtered through the window on the far left of the building and I knew without having to reassure myself that I had found him. I walked the remaining distance to his front door followed by the echoes of my shoes along the cobbled walk. I knocked lightly on the door calling hesitantly, "Harry, are you here?"
No response came and I chanced knocking again, this time a little louder. I was greeted once more with nothing. My hand reached out to try the door handle, locked. I dug into my coat pocket for my wand and whispered a hopeful "alohamora" into the night. The locked clicked loudly.
I could not contain the scoff that escaped me. His security was atrocious.
"Seriously Harry?" I'd have to have a few words with him about that. Him of all people…
I stepped into the quiet house letting the door click softly shut behind me. My call of "Harry" was answered with silence so, wand at the ready, I crept in the direction that I had seen the light. What I found when I stepped into the room I assume was intended to be the family room made my earlier scoff look like baby town frolic. My hand grasping my wand dropped to my side as I took into account the sleeping form of Harry and the two very empty bottles of firewhiskey at his feet. Frustration welled up inside of me. I'd been worried out of my mind, for this?
I stomped toward the recliner. "Harry, wake up." Nothing. I shook his shoulder and watched as his eyes slowly cracked open, his vision glazed over as he looked at me.
"Hermione?" His voice cracked as he spoke, the way Ron's did when he first woke up and hadn't actually come to his senses yet.
"Yes. Clearly you weren't expecting company judging by the surroundings." My eyes cast around the room again, noting the boxes lining one wall.
He looked at me for a moment, as if he didn't really believe I was standing in front of him. So many emotions passed over his features. His eyes clouded with unsuppressed pain. It hit me. It hit me harder than anything had in a very long time, and with that he began to cry. Shock momentarily paralyzed me, before I placed my arms around him and drew him into a hug. My hands made soothing trails down his back as I softly spoke to him, willing him to calm down. "It's okay Harry. It's going to be okay."
I don't know how long we sat there. My heart was breaking as I saw the strongest man I had ever met fall apart in my arms. His gasping breaths signaled that he was beginning to calm down, and I slowly moved away from him, letting him rest back into the seat of his chair. My eyes never left him. He had been hiding so much from us since he returned, but right here, right now, I could see every bit of torture he had put himself through, every single burden that he was bearing.
"Harry…." I said softly, hoping to get some sort of response, some reasoning from him. His eyes looked from the fire back to me, emerald green rimmed with intense pain.
"Burn it." Confusion laced through me.
"What?"
"I said burn it. I need it gone. I can't keep it anymore." His eyes moved to his left, searching out the only box that wasn't stacked with the others. My brow furrowed as I shifted my gaze from it back to him then back again. I didn't understand what he was talking about. I wasn't even certain if he knew what he was talking about. He grabbed me then, shaking my gaze away from the lone box and into his eyes. "BURN IT!" He yelled, before collapsing back onto the chair.
"Don't worry Harry, I'll get rid of it. Just… go back to sleep." After a few more minutes of rubbing his back and soothingly reassuring him he finally drifted off into what I hoped was a peaceful slumber. I waited a few moments to be sure that he wouldn't wake before I slowly removed my weight from the chair and turned to face the box he had referred too.
I wasn't entirely sure what to expect as I slowly inched towards it. What would be possibly be inside that was torturing my friend so. I sank to my knees, heaving in a large breathe of anticipation as I pulled the cardboard flaps away and looked inside.
My eyes widened as my mind tried to process what was in front of me. My hands slowly went through everything, confusion and sympathy rising with each moment. Finally my hands brushed the bottom and unearthed a thin envelope. My hands nimbly opened it and I scanned the contents. When I finished realization dawned. Everything that I had just discovered slammed over me and I looked at Harry in his drunken stupor on the chair. My head and my heart were racing as I was surrounded with the content of the box. The only thing that I could think as my mind deliberated was. "Oh my god."
A/N: BOOM! Early mini chapter for you! I'm early I know, this chapter is short. I also know. BUT I have to let you all know, that shit comes to light in the next chapter. Like everything is revealed, and the chapter is going to be stupid long. Like crazy long. So I didn't want to attatch this to it.
Oh my god this story is starting to draw to a close!
What is happening? What's going to happen?
I can't wait for you all to find out!
I love you all so much! MUAH!
-Nurse Holliday