Chapter 22: What's inside.

The chiming of my doorbell brought me out of my vegetative state. I had been lounging on my couch watching TV for the past couple hours; it had been one of those days. My eyebrows furrowed as I contemplated the hour, it had to be pretty late by now, the sun had gone down ages ago. I heaved myself into a standing position, pushing back my mane of red hair as I sauntered to the door. Whoever it was, it had better be pretty important to interrupt me while I was doing absolutely nothing. I chanced a peek through the peep hole so I could prepare myself for the person on the other side. My lips dipped in a frown. There was no one there.

It might be a couple of kids pulling a prank? My mind momentarily debated on the advantages of opening the door or not. My curiosity eventually won over and I pulled the chain from its recess and pulled on the brass knob.

I was right, there was no one there. Where a person should have stood sat a medium sized cardboard box looking entirely out of place and very suspicious. My eyes scanned the hallway for anybody lurking in a corner waiting for me to open it. Not a single soul was around. Deciding it was better to be cautious I nudged the box off of my welcome mat with my foot. I was half expecting it to blow up at that, but the box now sat cockeyed in the middle of the hallway daring me to bring it inside.

I never could resist a dare.

I picked it up slowly; surprised that it wasn't altogether that heavy. My eyes darted around the hallway once more before I backed slowly into my flat and kicked the door shut. This was certainly a strange occurrence, who delivered boxes at 11 at night.

It was a mystery.

Damn my curiosity.

I placed the box on my coffee table before plopping back down on the sofa. My hands hovered above the cardboard flaps for a moment still uncertain of this whole ordeal. It wasn't really wise to take random boxes into your home without any knowledge of what was inside. It could be something really dangerous, couldn't it? But the war had ended a long time ago and there were so many protection charms on this building that no one who intended me intentional harm could possibly been able to leave it. So I went for it. I folded back the flaps and found…. Pictures.

My hands slowly took out the pictures, one by one. Most of them I didn't recognize. I flipped one over and saw that a name had been neatly scrawled across the back. My hands continued to sort and stack until they came upon faces I instantly recognized.

Cedric Diggory, Colin Creevey, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black. My heart stalled as I picked up the picture of my brothers Fred and George jostling each other playfully. I flipped the photo upside down and saw the printed words 'Fred Weasley'. I let my heart be overcome by melancholy for a moment before setting the picture down on top of the generous stack. I turned my attention back to the box to see that there weren't only pictures inside. Parchment, lots of it. My mind was screaming a very confused 'What le Fuck?' at the moment. Why would someone leave all of this for me?

I dove in and grabbed a piece of parchment, unfolding it hastily to see what in the world was inside. Familiar writing blossomed before my eyes. My brow furrowed again as I began to read.

Ginny,

I'm going to try and do as you ask. I'm going to let you go. I'm not sure how I'll survive it, I think it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done. It probably will be the hardest thing that I will ever do in my entire life. Mainly because right now, the only thing I can think is that you are my life. My past, my present, my future.

I'll never forgive myself for what I've done.

I'll never stop loving you. I love you so much. So much that I want you to be happy. Truly happy. I only wish that you could have been happy with me. I would give anything in the world if I could make you happy, even just for one day.

Even now after you've asked me to let you move on with your life I'm sitting here being as selfish as I always am. I can still taste your lips, is it wrong that I want you to think of me? That I want you to dream of me? So that I don't feel like I'm so utterly alone. I know it is. I know it's wrong but I can't help it. My heart wants what it wants, and it wants you, anyway that I can possibly have you.

I'm sorry love. I'm so sorry. I will take the punishment for my crimes. I will suffer living without you in silence. This will be the last letter I write. Merlin I miss you already.

Goodbye Ginny.

-Harry

My heart was pumping on overdrive as my eyes re-read the letter lingering on the words 'this will be the last letter I write.' My eyes flew back to the box and the mounds of parchment within. Harry, these were all from Harry. My hand snatched on its own for the next letter nearly ripping it in half in my haste.

Gin,

Today you smiled at me. Genuinely smiled. I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. It was the most beautiful thing I think I've ever seen in my entire life. The only thing I want to know is what I have to do to earn one of those smiles every day, because I'd do it. I'd do anything for you.

-Harry

I tossed the letter to the side and reached for the next one. It felt like I'd been possessed, I was a madwoman, I was finally losing all sense and going insane. I had to read them, I had to read them all.

Gin,

I can't. I can't give you closure. Even the thought of it makes me want to panic. Are you kidding me Ginny? Are you that blind? I know you still have feelings for me. I know it deep down in every fiber of my being. I will prove it to you. I will prove that you don't want to move on. I will prove to you that I love you, that I have never stopped loving you for a single minute. I will prove to you that I am the kind of man you deserve. The kind of man who will love you more than anything else in the world. It may take me months, years even. But I'm not going to leave you again. I don't think that I could bear it. Not if I have to see that pain in your eyes anymore. It shreds me baby. To know what I've done to you. All I want to do is hold you in my arms and tell you everything is going to be okay.

But I can't, not yet. All I can do it wait, and spend every single moment I can trying to prove to you that I'm worthy of you.

-Harry

Ginny,

I don't think I've ever been this angry before. Angry at myself, angry at you, angry at the fucking bartender. How in the hell did he think that you could consume that much alcohol? Merlin what would have happened if I hadn't been there? We were standing there being perfectly civil at one moment even though the sight of you in that dress nearly gave me a heart attack and the next we were fighting like children. Then you kissed me and… I don't even know how to describe it. I don't think I could even if I wanted to. Even now while you are passed out snoring on your couch, your lips are haunting me. I had no idea you were even drunk let along that drunk. Clearly you were judging by the amount of puke on my shoes. I'm torn between wanting you to remember it and hoping that you don't. Either way, I got you home safe. I'll be here when you wake up.

-Harry

Ginny,

I'm sorry I'm a fucking idiot. I shouldn't have kissed you in the bridal shop. You were wearing that wedding dress and walking towards me and I just lost it. I have seen that very situation so many times in my dreams; when it was real… I couldn't stop myself. I wasn't supposed to kiss you yet. I was supposed to sweep you off your feet first. I screwed up the plan. Merlin how the hell am I supposed to win you back when I keep acting like a prat?

-Harry

Ginny,

I haven't seen you for four years, two months, and sixteen days. Four years, two months, and sixteen days without seeing your face, hearing your voice, or looking into your eyes. I thought I had forgotten what you looked like, I had nothing but the one picture of us in my wallet that's entirely to faded to even recognize anymore. I thought that I had forgotten, until today. Today after four years, two months, and sixteen days you opened the door and looked me square in the eyes. It hurt so bad, but it felt so good at the same time. You weren't even there moments and you ran away. You ran away from me. I suppose I deserve that. Now I'm sitting here upstairs at the burrow, in the room right next to yours thinking about your face. That I'm never going to ever be able to burn that memory from my mind. I wouldn't want to.

It's weird to be back. Bittersweet really. I always found so much comfort in your home, like this was really where I belonged. Like you were my real family. Now it feels like there's a hole in my heart. A hole where you are supposed to be. I've missed you so much, seeing you again…

It's so overwhelming.

Everything is so much the same but different at the same time. I already knew that nothing is ever going to be the way that it was. We passed that bridge a very long time ago. But maybe someday it will be better. For us, for everyone. Hermione and Ron certainly moved on, maybe one day we can too. That is if I spend the rest of this lifetime groveling at your feet. Honestly, right now I wouldn't even mind the groveling. I think it would be a right treat as long as I got to look at you. You are so much more beautiful then I remember. Merlin how in the world did I land a bird like you in the first place? You are way out of my league.

I have my work cut out for me. But you woman, Circe you are worth it.

I love you,

-Harry

My mind was racing as I finished the last letter. Letters from when he first got back home to now, but there were, Merlin there were hundreds more. I tore through them all, my mind lingering on the ones of importance, some were simply telling me about his day and what he was seeing, others simply said 'I miss you'. As I read I sorted several of the letters to an alternate pile, so that I could re-read them. Once I finished with the letters my hands went back to the second pile.

I was dumbstruck. I couldn't process any of this information. None of it.

Ginny,

Ron wrote me today telling me the good news. I can't believe that they are getting married. It still seems weird that they are even a couple. I guess to me they will always be my best mates. Now they'll just share the same last name. It's just…. Weird.

Well the reason I'm writing you is because I've decided that I am coming home.

I think that I've finally done what I can to earn everyone's forgiveness. I think that I've finally forgiven myself.

But, Merlin, seeing you again? I'm so nervous I think I'm going to be sick. I've been sweating bullets since I made the decision. I can only hope that you've finally forgiven me. That you don't hate me like you did then.

I'm leaving tomorrow, I guess I'll see you soon.

-Harry

Gin-

Happy Birthday Baby. I love you.

-Harry

Gin,

I haven't been able to leave the common room of this motel since I watched the news five hours ago. You've been hurt, you got knocked off your broom and fell a hundred feet, you were taken directly to Mungos, nothing is known except that you are in critical condition.

Please tell me you are going to be okay. Please. Somehow let you be okay. I've decided to wait another couple of hours, if I haven't heard anything I'm coming home.

-Harry

P.S. I should have known better than believe the news. After ten hours they finally reported that you were released from the hospital with nothing more than a band-aid on your head. Goddamn Prophet. I'm glad you are okay. You scared me to death, please please don't do it again. Be safe. I love you.

Gin,

You will never believe what happened to me today. I was walking through the streets of New York and who do I run into but Cho Chang. I know you are not her biggest fan but after all this time it was kind of nice to see a familiar face. She seemed just as surprised to see me. We agreed to have coffee and got to talking, she asked me the usual questions, where have I been, what have I been up too. When she asked me if I was seeing anyone I got a bit nervous, I have nothing but friendly feelings for Cho now and I honestly though that she was asking for herself. I told her I was, just to stave of what I thought was going to be batty eyelashes and insane giggling like most birds do, and she congratulated me. She then told me about her girlfriend. I'll say that again, girlfriend. She seems very much in love and I have to say I'm pretty happy for her. Out of all the things I'd expected to learn from home, that was not one of those.

-Harry

P.S. Have I ever mentioned how awkward it is to get hit on when you belong to someone else?

Ginny,

I am very very very drunk and I miss you. I miss you so much. I just want to hear your voice. I want you. I hate myself, I hate myself so much. I'm an idiot. I'm pathetic and I'll sit here afraid to go home because I'm afraid you will have nothing to do with me. So I'll just drunk more of this drink. And I'll write you letters that I'll never be able to send.

-H

Ginny,

I found out today that you are in Brazil. I almost lost my mind. What are the chances? The chances that out of all the places in the world that you could be playing you are playing in the very town that I am currently in. It feels like fate is screaming right in my face. I want to go, I want to go so badly. Even if I don't get to see you up close. Watching you play as a professional? It's practically a dream come true. But if I was recognized, I'm not ready for that yet. Everyone would know it was me, and they'd know I was coming there to see you. You know I was there to see you. Merlin would you even want to see me? You probably still hate me more than anything else in the world. Now I just have to decide whether or not to risk it.

P.S. I went. My friend had a bit of polyjuice potion, it cost me 100 galleons, but it was worth it. You fly like you were born on a broom. I'm glad I risked it, you are always worth the risk.

Ginny,

I don't know why I can't stop writing to you. It's silly isn't it? But you are the only person I want to tell things too. That I want to tell anything too. I miss you.

-Harry

P.S. Happy Anniversary. I wonder what you thought when you got the flowers…

It was strange. All of the things that were coming together in my mind. So many of my questions were being answered, so many things were coming together. And yet there was still these massive gaps where I had nothing. I needed it filled. I needed to know the rest of the story. I blew a chunk of hair out of my face as I set down the second pile of letters. What was I going to do? Was I going to confront Harry about the letters? How about the flowers he sent me every year on our anniversary that I had always thought were some cruel joke. The first time I had hoped that maybe they were from him, there had been no note and no card but cynicism got the better of me. I tossed them. I tossed all of them.

I felt like I was on the urge of going hysterical. So many emotions were battling back and forth inside of me. I rubbed my hand across my eyes. They seemed heavy with the sheer weight of just being open. I stretched my arms over my head as I let a yawn escape me. I didn't even know how much time had passed it had to be early morning by now. As I stretched my eyes faded back to the box catching light of a yellow envelope sitting on the bottom. A frown pulled at my lips. How had I missed that.

My hands were shaking as I grabbed the envelope from the box and placed it on my lap. I looked around, like there was someone in my flat who could reassure me that this was actually happening and it wasn't just some cruel dream.

I undid the metal keeping the envelope together sliding out the contents onto my lap.

It didn't look like much. I pulled the first item up, not letting the multiple pieces of paper stapled together intimidate me. My eyes scanned over the contents.

Cedric Diggory- Next of Kin: Amos Diggory- Asked that a Quidditch MVP memorial be instated at Hogwarts in honor of his son. Arranged with acting Headmistress Minerva McGonagall.

Colin Creevy- Next of Kin: Mr. and Mrs. Donald Creevey, brother Dennis- Requested Colin's effects from Hogwarts, ask that I meet with their son Dennis to tell Colin's story.

Nymphadora Tonks- Next of Kin: Andromeda Tonks, Theodore Lupin – Andromeda ask that I remain partial guardian of Theodore and I collect both Remus and Tonk's things for when he is old enough to understand.

These were the people who died. The people who lost their life at the battle of Hogwarts. No, not just at the battle of Hogwarts, everyone, everyone who had lost their lives around Harry. Everyone that he had felt responsible for. I felt tears well up in my eyes. He had… He had went to their families. He had granted them a last wish.

Remus Lupin- Next of Kin: Theodore Lupin – See Nymphadora Tonks.

Sirius Black- Next of Kin: Narcissa Black- See Bellatrix Lestrange.

My brow furrowed at that. Bellatrix Lestrange? She was a death eater, and a total bitch, and she killed Sirius? Why would Harry have them on his list? I scanned for her name.

Bellatrix Lestrange- Next of Kin: Narcissa Black- Requested that I testify to the Wizengamot of Draco's innocence in the murder of Albus Dumbledore. Completed during confidential proceedings.

But it didn't stop there.

Rudolphous Lestrange- Next of Kin: Druella Lestrange – Asked for assistance with completion of her house in Brazil.

It was everyone, every single person that had died. He didn't discriminate against what side the person was fighting for, he didn't let personal feelings cloud his ability to perform what the family asked of him. It didn't matter who it was that lost their life, Harry had felt responsible for them all. I had known that, I had always known that, he had told me. But for him to do this… For him to do something this amazing, this selfless. It was so Harry, and it was so painful. This is what he had been doing. This is what he had been doing for the last four years. My eyes flicked to the bottom of the last page where only the words Fred Weasley stood alone. There was no next of kin, no last request. As if it was the last thing he needed to fulfill.

I numbly set the papers to the side to move on to the next thing. At this point I don't know what else I could possibly find out that could shock me more than I was already. Four letters sat before me and I grabbed the first one softly. It was addressed to me at the burrow with the slashing red words return to sender across the front. I felt unease settle inside of me, I opened the first letter.

Ginny,

I'm sorry I haven't written yet and I know I'm a few weeks late but I had a very good reason. I was in the hospital. DON'T FREAK OUT. I'm fine. There was just a bit of a mishap in an alleyway with some chaps who didn't take kindly to my cheeky mouth. I always did have a bit of trouble following the rules. This time away is exactly what I needed. I don't think I've ever been able to think this clearly before. I have to admit that I'm not really ready to come back yet. But I know more than anything what I need to do. I have this idea, well it's really you who inspired it. That's why I want you to come with me. Meet me in Spain and we can do this together, you always said you wanted to travel and see the world. We can, I can't think of anyone I'd rather do this with than you. Owl me back and we'll set up a time to floo. I can't wait to see you Ginny. I miss you so much.

I love you,

Harry

My heart was thundering inside of my chest as I tossed the letter to the side and reached for the next letter scrawled with the same red return-to-sender.

Ginny,

I know that your upset with me and I'm sorry I stayed away too long. I've been waiting to hear from you all week. I know that traveling might have been such a stretch but once you've heard the idea I'm sure you'll agree. If not, well, I'll come home and we'll have to figure out a schedule so that I can carry everything out and we can still be together. I've owled Ron but he didn't say anything at all when I asked about you. Are you okay? Has something happened? Please owl me back I'm worried.

I love you,

-Harry

I tossed it aside much in the same manner as the first. Picking up the third identical letter.

Ginny,

Alright it's been two weeks and I haven't heard from you. I've heard nothing about how you are doing, no one will tell me anything. I don't know what's going on but I'll find out soon enough. I'm coming home. I'll see you soon.

I love you,

-Harry.

My hands picked up the fourth letter, the final item that was in the envelope. I felt hollow as I looked at the familiar writing scrawled across the front of the parchment. Writing I would recognize anywhere, but it did not belong to Harry.

Dear Harry,

At Ginny's request I am returning your letters to her. She had no wish to read them and no wish to speak with you ever again. You've broken her heart, you've torn her to pieces, she isn't even herself anymore because you were too selfish to stay with her when she needed you. I hardly recognize her anymore, my own sister. I will never forgive you for what you have done to her and what you have done to my family.

She is growing stronger, slowly, but only with the hate that has grown inside of her. The hatred of you. I can't say that I don't share her sentiments. How could I not? My brother is dead. My sister is despondent. My family is a wreck, a shell of what they once were. Did you think we would be able to overlook it? That while you walk around, running to the ends of the earth like a selfish little ponce that we wouldn't be here mourning our brother's death? That we wouldn't blame you? The other's might have put on a brave face and acted as though it didn't really bother them, but when you were nowhere around you should have heard the things that were said about you.

So many people died. Willingly gave their lives, for you. And what have you given them in return?

Misery. Heartache. All you do is destroy everything around you. No more, not while I can do something about it this time.

Don't come back. Don't dare try and contact her again. If you have any respect for my sister whatsoever, you will let her heal and let her remember who she is. Without you. That's the only thing that you could possibly do to fix what you've done..

I'll never forgive you. Because if we'd never met you, my brother would still be alive.

-Charlie Weasley

A/N: BOOM! Early Chapter! Shit comes to light! OMG!

Anyone expect it? Called it? Some of you had your suspicions, I know one of my lovely reviewers called Hermione was going to give the box to Ginny.

I'm sorry for the cliff hangers but when I envision this story in my head, this is where things stop.

It's still legit, I don't even care if you don't think so!

I'm sorry I'm just so excited to get this chapter out!

YAY!

What do you think? What do you think is going to happen next? Please please let me know!

I love you! All! 168 reviews! You guys are the best!

-Nurse Holliday