Chapter 26:

My eyes, mind and body were set on repeat. It's as if every syllable that tore through my consciousness thrummed through my veins, pulsing through my body. My eyes caressed every single person in the crowd for Harry's familiar stature but he was nowhere to be found. Dozens of brilliantly dressed and smiling faces passed by me in a blur as if wisps of colored tissue paper were dancing on the wind. It was if I was caught on a carousel, forced to endure the ride without knowing exactly where we were going. I couldn't even focus on the fact that I was the maid of honor and that this was my brother's wedding. I performed my duties with half a heart, constantly having to remind myself of what I was doing and what I should do next. I smiled, I shook hands, I even answered questions, but none of it sunk in. Nothing could cease the never ending throbbing inside of me. Harry. Harry. Harry.

It was the first 20 minutes after the ceremony had ended that I processed that I loved him even more than I had 20 minutes ago. My brain laughed at the impossibility of it all. Merlin's sake he was right. Every single thing he ever tried to tell me was right. All the times that Harry had insisted we were meant to be, that we were drawn together, that is was "me and you" they were all completely true. Had I listened? I ignored my inner voice telling me to jump in, I had let the veil of what I thought WAS cloud my judgment. I let the pain that I felt act as a barrier from falling back in love with the most caring, incredible, selfish, infuriating, wonderful prat I had ever known. My stubborn pride wouldn't let me give in. Until now. Until I realized what Harry meant to me.

Different thoughts and scenarios raced through my mind and I overanalyzed and obsessed over every single one. What if I was too late? What if Harry decided I was right and had moved one? Where was he? Did he leave again? Without saying goodbye and giving me the chance to tell him the truth. He wouldn't do that, would he? He very well possibly could. He had seen the world. There was nothing holding him here. Absolutely nothing. I didn't know. I was paralyzed with fear that I had messed things up, irreversibly this time.

We moved in a group, a windmill through the crowd of party goers and well-wishers. We inched towards the head table, all desperate to sit down but none of us wanting to be rude to the people who were here to celebrate with us. It's an odd business wedding. The more I endured it the more I think that this whole thing, the big wedding, the hundreds of guests wasn't for me. It wasn't about the cake and the lace and flowers. It was the fact that you loved the other person so much that you wanted to make it as difficult as possible for them to leave you. No, it was because you loved someone so much that you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with that person. A vice squeezed around me heart and I had to resist the urge to wrap my arms around myself to hold myself together. I tried not to think of the possibilities if Harry didn't want me, I tried to keep myself positive and not delve into the recesses of worst case scenario. But I wouldn't survive losing him again. I wouldn't be able to bear it for even a minute.

I skirted behind Hermione my mind reeling and my mouth barking very explicit orders to anyone who dare step to close to the train of her dress. Mum got close once, and I nearly had to roundhouse kick Percy who literally was three inches from stepping on it. My body was wound tight with anticipation and nerves. I tried forcing a smile but I am sure that my face looked as rigid as my shoulders. I could bear it though. I think that I could bear anything to see that look on Hermione's face. How was she so calm right now? For the woman who invented the term uptight it was a miracle that she wasn't hyperventilating over the fact that I forgot to put out a pen for the guestbook. Then I knew, because as Hermione happily exchanged words with her grandmother Ron leaned down to place a light kiss on his now-wife's shoulder. Her hand that was already threaded in his squeezed lightly. From my position playing goalie I witnessed the exchange with an open heart. I suppose I could understand Hermione's poise at the moment, if I had just married Harry. I'm sure that I'd feel like I could fly as well.

Out of left field Percy walked into the no step zone. I was only half disappointed in having to elbow him, and fully satisfied with the promises that if he came within 15 feet of her dress again I would melt his body in a vat of acid.

When we finally managed to get to the head table it was only a small relief. Bill assured the never-ending line of guests that there would be plenty of time to talk to the Bride and Groom later and that they should all head towards the food tables to grab something to eat. Everyone shuffled, some enthusiastically some somberly towards the catering line to eat. After tucking Hermione (more importantly the back of Hermione's dress) into her chair I sunk down into the padded cushion right in front of the elegantly scripted card that bore my name. A plate manifested in front of me and I honestly didn't notice in enough time to see where it had come from. I pushed the contents around my dish, my stomach protesting at the thought of consuming even a single bite of what was before me. My eyes kept skating to the empty chair on the other side of my brother. It was almost as if no one noticed that Harry was most obviously absent. That one of the most important people of this day was nowhere in sight. But I did, I couldn't focus on hardly anything else other than the fact that out of all of my loved ones gathered in one area Harry was not among them.

Within milliseconds Hermione stood letting everyone know that they were free to mingle and dance for the time being. Had dinner really gotten over so quickly? Whether or not I was focusing on what was going on I was present for this festivity. Harry was acting like a terrible friend and best man disappearing like this. It made me angry. Everything about this situation made me angry. I couldn't wait much more. I was psychologically bursting at the seams. I knew I was being selfish, I knew that this was not my moment and not about me. But if Harry Potter could disappear from his best friend's wedding without a single word then I could track him down like and escaped inmate from Azkaban.

My eyes bounced around for someone to agree with me. Maybe I should have said it out loud if I really needed validation. I might have helped. Doubtfully, it was a shame how low the comedic appreciation had sunk in this family. Honestly, Sirius Black would have laughed. A small dip of sadness nestled itself inside of me. My mind ever ready to continue down a path of suffering continued. Fred would have laughed. Oh, Fred would have had a field day with today. George and him would have spent ages taking the mickey out of Ron for absolutely everything including his socks. I could just picture it now. Ron's ears would turn pink all the way to the tips and we all would roll with laughter.

I snapped myself back to my original purpose. Honestly, how did I get myself so bleeding sidetracked? That train of thought was always dangerous. The last time I had succumbed to that kind of melancholy was at George's wedding. It had been a very long time since I had cried that hard. I hated having this unrest inside of me. This inability to control my thought and actions. I was like Gwen with shiny things. I needed to focus. This conversation, or whatever this was going to be couldn't happen carelessly. I couldn't mess this up with the things that came out of my mouth. I had to find Harry. With a huge intake of breath to settle the circus performing inside my head I thought rationally about where he could have gone. It took me only a moment. An all too revisited memory welled up in my mind like a fish slowly kissing the surface of the water. I didn't need to wonder, not really. I had known where he had gone. It was the same place that I had found him the last time. I let myself seep back into the past.

"But why Harry?" He refused to look at me just kept his hands planted on the fence bordering the Burrow. "Tell me why?" I shouted. I was forcing myself not to cry. Not to let him see how badly I was breaking.

"Because Ginny, you aren't old enough. You're mum would never let you go even if I wanted you too." Rage and fear coursed through me simultaneously.

"What about me? What about what I want. Ron and Hermione are coming with you. I want to come too I want to fight with you. I understand we can't be together anymore because you are afraid I'd get hurt but that doesn't mean I can't still help you!" He shoved off of the fence to face me, his expression grave and a million miles away from me.

"If I had it my way I'd go alone. This is my fight, I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me." The rage dissolved in an instant.

"Oh Harry you aren't alone." I took a step forward to wrap my arms around him but he immediately lunged back stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Don't. Please don't." But I wouldn't let him stop me. I pulled him to me and waited until he softened and wrapped his arms around me in turn. "I need you to stay here. I need you to be safe." He mumbled into my hair and I could feel the tears leaking from my eyes. "I need you here so that I have a reason to come home." Tears fell harder but I did nothing to stop there descent. "Promise me Gin." His hand smoothed the hair from my face and I lifted my eyes to meld with his.

"I promise." He pulled me close and gave me a searing kiss. A kiss goodbye.

The southern border of our property. He had gone to the fence. Our fence. Ron and Hermione had gone back out to mingle, Mum was thankfully on dress duty for the time being. The music coursing through the night was some airy tune sang by a crooner from days gone by. I was alone at the table and with my thoughts and it occurred to me that I could slip away right now and no one would notice. I wouldn't be forfeiting my Maid of Honor-ly duties, not really. It would only be a break at best.

I stood slowly as if waiting for someone to call me out and tell me I couldn't go.

No one did.

So unlike the erratic beating of my heart I walked calmly into the darkness edging around the house and past the garden. I could feel my blood gushing through my skull as I drew nearer to where I knew he stood. Anticipation was overflowing inside of me, mixing itself into a dangerous concoction with my anger, sadness, and nerves. How could he give up on me? How in the world could I have been so stupid as to let him?

I rounded the corner past the garden and I could see his silhouette in the moonlight. He stood in the exact same spot as he had before. His hand stuffed into his pockets and his back to me, he looked like he didn't have a care in the world. It irked me a bit. I stopped about 5 meters from where he stood but he did not turn around. Please Turn around Harry, I'm right here.

Moments turned into minutes and I waited as long as I possibly could before I snapped. With a quick twist and a stumble I had removed my right high heel and flung it with all my might at Harry. I watched as it him square in the shoulder and he stumbled around in surprise his emerald eyes meeting mine in shock.

"You. YOU. How could you just give up on me?" I tore off my other shoe and hurled it after its mate. Harry effortlessly dodged it before sending me a look that I could not for the life of me read. He studied me for a few moments before he spoke, as if he was searching for exactly the words he intended to say.

"You told me to. " I let the irritated edge of the clustered ball of feelings inside me out first.

"When have you listened to something I've told you to do? You never listen? And you choose now to turn over a new leaf?" His jaw locked in apparent irritation. With a fluid movement he angled his body away from me.

"What do you want Ginny?"

"What do I want? For four years you've been in love with me. That's a long time for you to suddenly forget that you feelings. To suddenly wake up and be over me. It doesn't work like that Harry, I would know."

He surged forward, stomping the distance between us. I could tell from every single movement of his body that he was angry. When he stood before me, cold fire licking in his eyes and mouth in a grim line I could tell without a doubt he was furious. It spurred me on; I found hope in his anger. If he cared enough to be angry, then maybe, maybe he still loved me after all.

"Why are we having this conversation? You told me to move on? I moved on. You told me to leave you alone? I've left you alone. What else do you want from me? There is nothing else I can give you."

I didn't have an answer for that. What he said was true, I had asked him to leave me alone, but that was before. Before I knew what I know now, and I would be damned if I would let this remain unresolved like usual. He had to know. He had to know the truth. My silence must have meant something to Harry, cause with an unbelieving scoff he shook his head and walked past me towards the party. Pain seared inside of me as I spun after him.

"I read the letters."

He stopped dead in his tracks. Nerves blossomed like butterflies inside of me. Harry didn't say a word so I pushed on terrified that if I stopped talking he would leave and I'd never have another chance to tell him how I felt.

"You have to know that I never got your first letters. I never told Charlie to return them or write that letter. I didn't know that you were going to come home, to come back to me. I just… thought that you had left me. Without owling, without saying goodbye. I didn't even know any of this existed two days ago and now I'm drowning in all of this because I didn't know. I spent the last four years believing that I wasn't enough for you to come home and now all I can think about is that you spent the last four years thinking that I hated you. I didn't hate you Harry. I could never hate you. I would waited forever if I had gotten that first letter. I would have went anywhere for you." I let a brief silence hang between us. "I just, I couldn't let you go on not knowing the truth."

The relief I felt from being able to say what I needed to say was almost unbearable, I felt like I could barely stand on my own legs and that I was going to melt into the ground. Harry remained silence causing the release I just experienced to slowly build back up into fear.

"Would?" Was all he said.

"What?"

He chanced a glance at me. "You said you would have waited forever?"

This was it; this was the moment that I had been waiting. I think that I had been waiting for it my entire life. Like every single thing that I had ever done since I pointed out Harry Potter to my Mum when my older brother got on the train for the first time led up to this very moment.

"Do you really think I'd be here if I was done waiting?"

A small smile quirked at his lips and it felt like the sun had spontaneously rose from its slumber. Within moments it melted away replaced with the same unreadable anger. My heart stopped. No. Please. No.

"I'm going to kill him." He moved back towards the wedding. It took me two moments to realize what was going on. In one moment I realized 'him' was Charlie and the next that it would ruin Ron's wedding. I sprang after Harry ripping his arm back so that he swung back around to face me.

"You can't."

"Do you really expect me to not physically hurt him after what he's done? He had no right? No right…" His gaze softened as he looked into my pleading brown ones. I could almost feel them trace a line across my cheek and electricity shot through me as he replaced his eyes with his hand. He softly traced the line up to my cheek and I could not resist the urge to nuzzle myself against him. After all this time.

"Not tonight." I whispered. "Not at Ron and Hermione's wedding."

I couldn't tell you how long we sat there looking into each other's eyes. I prayed that he would kiss me, I yearned to feel his lips against mine. I needed it, I needed it to reassure myself that he was here and he was with me.

"Are we…"

"Yes." I said. I don't think I'll ever forget the brilliance of his answering smile. I reached up to thread my fingers through his. Bringing his hand away from my cheek and to hang between us. "That is if you want to."

His answering life could light up the whole of London. "If you think you are getting rid of me now."

I managed a throaty laugh of my own.

"Come on. We'll talk tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to be with you." I moved to start back towards the wedding figuring that I had spent enough time away from my duties. There was a 50/50 chance that anyone noticed and it was debatable if anyone even cared. Right now. I could dance into heaven, right now I could dance right off the floor, onto the walls, straight up onto the ceiling. I pulled Harry to follow me but he quickly jerked me back into his arms. I felt myself melt into him. He grasped me like I was the only person in the world and I could feel tears prick the backs of my eyes.

After all this time I knew without a doubt there was no other place in the world that I belonged. I belonged with this man. Forever.

"I love you." I whispered into the night.

He didn't answer. He didn't have to.

A/N: I finally updated, sorry for the extra week update.

So here it was. What did you guys think. I have so many feels right now I literally want to hear every single one of yours.

One Chapter left. Maybe two. Then sporadic one shots.

Please let me know what you think about this chapter? Thoughts? Likes? Hates?

Loves.