An Earthborn Asgardian

This is a Harry Potter, The Avengers Crossover by Kefalion aka. Frida. This is a story with focus on Harry Potter and Loki, but also on the relation between the wizards of earth and the Asgardians. This is Loki/Harry.

As you very well know I don't own the plot or the characters that you recognize.

Part 4: The Reconciliation
Words: 5 387

"I-", Loki mumbled. His face was void of emotion, as was his voice. The anger was gone, but no other feelings had taken its place. "I don't know what to say."

"Please say you say you feel same, or I will walk out that door, and I swear you'll never see me again."

"You cannot do that," Loki said coldly, though a possible hint of fear appeared in his eyes. "You'd be alone, living, while all the people you care about die one by one, just as you fear. You have yet to master your powers. You need me."

Harry grimaced. "I do," he admitted, while he didn't like the underhand tactic Loki was using to make him say it, it was only the truth, "but not because of that. If not yet, then soon your brother will know of me. "

"He already does," Loki confirmed, his lips twitching as Harry called Thor his brother. "What does it matter?"

"That settles that. Don't you see? I do not need you for practicalities any more. Things have changed. My existence is no longer a secret. Another Asgardian could just as easily tutor me and tell me what I need to know about what I have become." He could see that Loki was about to protest. "You are not the only citizen of Asgard to have magic, though you may be one of the most powerful ones, there is Odin for one, something you fail to admit most of the time."

Loki sneered.

"But I do need you because I care about you. I want you in my life, though you should know that I will walk away, if you no longer wish for me to be a part of your life."

Loki rose and went over to Harry, taking the wizard's hands into his own marginally larger ones, letting his thumbs move over the tanned skin, it had taken on a brown colour, evidence that he had spent time in the country Loki had exiled him to. He drew in a deep breath and looked into the other man's eyes, knowing that he had to say the right things if he didn't want to loose Harry forever.

"I want you, just as much as before," he said earnestly, his words chosen carefully as they had more than one meaning and he spoke them softly with some underlying heat, though not too pronounced, he didn't want Harry to think that all he wanted was his body, but enough to know that the spark of desire remained. "I promised you that I would never leave, that also means that I will never ask you to go. I want you by my side."

"Really?" There was a hint of a smile playing at Harry's lips.

"Yes." Loki considered the battle won. The war however was undetermined.

The smile twisting up the corners of Harry's mouth slipped away. "Then would you please explain the madness that made you attack my home world? You say you did it because of me."

"Yes," Loki winced just a little, feeling bad about the hurt he could see in Harry, and understanding that their reconciliation wasn't complete. "It was not my intention to hurt you earlier."

Harry glared, drawing his hands free, with a forceful jerk, and crossing his arms across his chest again so that they would be out of reach. "Yes it was," he said in what was almost a hiss. "You knew exactly what to say to hurt me. You know me well enough to play at my fears and doubts and if you hadn't wanted to hurt me you wouldn't have."

"Fine. I did intentionally hurt you," the trickster admitted. He closed his eyes, showing his vulnerability and gathering his courage. "You must understand Harry; I am not at my best. You may think that I was wallowing in self pity…"

"You were," Harry muttered and Loki ignored him.

"…but", he continued in a louder voice, "what happened, what I learned was important to me and…"

"You are not over it."

"There is more to it, but essentially, yes. I still feel so much anger and resentment; it is filling me up, admittedly clouding my judgement. What Odin has done is not right. I may not have acted wisely either, but this, all of this has its source in the Allfather."

"I'm glad you're not blaming me anymore," the wizard said dryly, not impressed. "Will you not take responsibility for your actions?"

"I am responsible, but you need to know why I have acted the way I have. You know what I think of Thor."

"I do. We had some disagreements about it. I think you insulted many of the values I stand for in the process."

Loki snorted. "Recklessness and thinking without acting is not something to be proud of. Bravery is nothing unless you also possess a clear mind and analytic abilities. You must know when to fight and when to employ other methods."

"There you go again."

"Harry, you grew up. You are not an embodiment of the School House you were placed in at age eleven. You may still act without thinking at times, but you have learned the value of patience. I know you have, and you had begun to culture the ability long before you met me. It was not carless courage that allowed you to gather Voldemort's horcruxes."

"Fine. The conclusion is that you claim that Thor didn't know."

"He did not and he proved it with undisputable clarity once I presented him with a situation which forced him to act, letting his true character come forth. He was sorely lacking, bringing down war on Asgard when it was not needed and Odin himself saw that his oldest son, his pride and joy, was not fit to be King. Thor was banished, leading to the events of New Mexico that you brought up earlier."

"You wanted the throne for yourself," Harry said accusingly. "Don't play all noble with me. You constructed a situation in which you knew how your brother would act and you knew it would put him in a bad light. If I know you right, you goaded him along the way, making it look as if you were trying to hold him back."

Loki laughed, it was a humourless sound. "It worked didn't it? And yes I desired the throne."

"Why? Did you want power? Did you want to lord over the people who all your life has seen you as lesser?"

"In part," the god admitted, it had been a bonus having the Warriors Three bend knee at his feet as he sat upon the throne as their King, "but the truth comes down to you once more. Don't look at me like that."

Harry's glare had turned acid, his eye colour enhancing the impression. "How am I to look then? You are in a way making me responsible for a coup to the Asgardian throne and you've put blame on me for an invasion of Earth!"

"I know how it must sound, if you would only allow me to continue."

"Fine. Continue then."

"What I am trying to say is that you resonate in everything I do. It is all done with you in mind, wanting to create a future for the two of us. I believe that the end justifies the means and I had no problem using methods I knew you wouldn't condone of as long as it gave me the desired result."

"It is not right."

"That is debatable."

"Your actions brought war upon your realm!"

"Thor did it all by himself, with his arrogance and eagerness for battle. My actions only made sure that it happened earlier than it otherwise would have and before he was granted the crown and undue power. I have told you how the people of Asgard view relationships such as ours. They think it a lower class of love. It is not forbidden, but it might as well have been. It is not looked upon with kind eyes. They would never give us respect."

"We don't need to live there, it is not necessary."

"Oh, but it is. You may not see it now, you are young still, but I have said so before and I will have to say it again so that you understand. A day will come when everyone you know and love here on Midgard has passed on and you need friends. I can give you much, but you would never be truly happy if it was just you and I together for the long time an Asgardian life is."

Harry tried to say something, but Loki stopped him.

"You would have tried for me, I know that, but my goal isn't just exiting. My goal is to make you happy in the long run. You would never be truly happy living in some remote corner of the universe with me, and the only friends you could hope to make would be Asgardians; there would be little point in befriending a short lived species such as the people on Midgard. Some of them may not care about two men loving each other, but others would mock and taunt you and I know that you, even if you wish it weren't so… You care about what other people think and you need friends and the respect of others, if not their liking. I was trying to make sure power didn't end up in my foolish brother's hands and by doing so I hoped to gain the influence needed to change the people's opinion on the matter."

Harry was silent for a moment, thinking through what Loki had just said. He could understand it and it was true that isolation wasn't a way of life he would willingly choose, was there another option. He could also imagine what he would feel when Ron and Hermione inevitable passed on. He wouldn't have the strength to make new friends knowing that he would soon see them pass on as well.

"I concede your point," he said, "as long as I do not have to agree with your methods and you give me a promise of not doing something like that again."

Loki stayed silent.

Harry closed his eyes, resigned. "You won't do it."

"No, I will not. It would tie me down and force me to do things I am not prepared to. If keeping you safe and happy means several realms have to burn, I will do it."

Harry was a little scared by that announcement. Some may find it romantic if the person of their affection said that they would do anything for you, but it lost much of it appeal when it was a truth that may become reality.

"If you did that I could never be happy," he said in a tone that denied any argument. "I'd have to live with those deaths on my conscious, don't you understand it? I sacrificed myself for a world full of people who didn't hesitate to put all their hope on the shoulders of an adolescent boy, a world that is fickle with who they shun and who they hail. I did it because it was the right thing to do. I could never condone death if it was the price for my life or happiness, I'd rather be the one to die."

Loki's features had taken on a disgruntled look. "I think I can see that this is something you would do," he granted, "though the same could never apply to me. I am a selfish creature of nature. You are one of the few things I care about. The only one I would lay down my life for."

"Don't."

"What?"

"Don't you dare do that. Ever."

Loki didn't understand what the wizard was saying.

"I've had enough people sacrifice themselves for me," Harry clarified talking fast. "If you did die to save me, it would be as good as sentencing me to death anyway. I cannot carry another debt like that."

"Who is being selfish now, Mr. Saviour?"

"So what?" Harry said defensively.

"I don't mind. No, no, I find that I like that you can be selfish even if it's just a matter such as this."

"That's not all."

"I just enjoy being able to prove a point."

Harry snorted out a small laugh. "That I believe."

"Martyrs in the end I believe are selfish. They cannot live with the knowledge that they have not given their all, they would go under from the guilt. So in the end they sacrifice themselves for their own purpose."

Harry sighed, exasperated. He felt glad that he hadn't rushed to the US as soon as he learned that Loki was there. He wouldn't have been able to do this if he hadn't gotten some sleep. "You just took away everything that was romantic about your statement that you would lay down your life for me."

Loki smirked. "I told you; I am a selfish man."

"Well, I am not having the discussion about altruism not existing."

"That's because you know you will lose. You just confessed that your own sacrifice was made with selfish intentions."

"We're not talking about it."

Loki inclined his head, giving Harry this small boon. "As you wish."

"Tell me what happened next. Thor was banished for behaving foolhardy."

"Correct. Meanwhile I had discovered that something was wrong with me. In Jotunheim I touched the skin of one of the Frost Giants, a fate that would lead to the death of an Asgardian as it would cause instant and severe frostbite did they wish it, but when I touched the warrior my true appearance was revealed, my skin turned blue same as theirs. I suspected then what I was and it did not take much to confirm it."

"What does it matter?" Harry was honestly confused. Loki was still who he had always been, it didn't matter who his parents had been.

"You do not understand. You have not grown up hearing the horror stories told to children before they go to sleep, the exciting and scary tales of the monsters of Jotunheim. The barbaric Frost Giants who would never hesitate to bring down Asgard, and as it turned out I was one of them. Imagine if you had found out that you were Voldemort's son."

Harry shuddered unwillingly. "Yeah, I see your point." He nodded. "I would have begun to doubt myself and everything that had ever happened in my life.

"That was how it was. I didn't know anymore. Was I a monster? Was that why I could never fit in? Could the others somehow tell? It would explain everything. It became obvious why I had always been treated differently by my parents, though I am man enough to say that they tried, but it was not enough, just like I was not. It would never matter how much I tried to be the better son, how much I tried to fit in, how much I tried to make everyone proud. I would never be good enough because of to whom I was born." Loki clenched his fists, suppressing the urge to slam his hand into the wall. "You cannot imagine how angry I was."

"I noticed, you know," Harry murmured. "I tried to talk to you the last time you came to see me, but you weren't receptive to me."

"No, I was not. I was certain that if you learned the truth you would not want anything to do with me. I felt that I had to prove myself to you as well and becoming the King of Asgard seemed the way to do it."

"That was foolish of you. You know I don't care for power."

"I do know that and it should have been apparent to me even then."

"So you are different. That is not necessarily a bad thing. You wouldn't want me to be like my cousin would you? And you wouldn't want to be a copy of Thor."

Loki laughed at the image provided. "No, I would not like that. Nevertheless I was questioning everything. I did not know how to proceed. I needed to clear my head. I needed answers and guidance." He paused walking around the room, not that he needed more than a few steps to do so.

"The Allfather found me when I had gone to the vault where the Casket of Ancient Winters was kept. As an artefact from Jotunheim it had the ability to reveal my true nature. I confronted him. He didn't give me any satisfying answers. Just some drivel about how I had been an innocent child and how I was his son."

"That doesn't sound so bad. He loved you."

Loki sneered and didn't honour Harry's statement with a reply. "It did not satisfy me," he continued as if the other man had never interrupted. "There had to be more. I got him to confess that he had wanted to use me to negotiate peace between the two realms, I was to be a bargaining tool, and now he had come to realize that it would never be. He did not say it, but it was not necessary, I could read all I needed in his silence; I was not needed anymore. Before I could make him confess, before he could say any more, to either clear himself or condemn him in my eyes forever he fell into the Odin sleep. With the events that had passed he had postponed it for too long and as a result he had grown weak. I never got the answers I wanted, that I needed. Thor was gone and Mother-"

Harry gave him a quizzical look at the title.

"I do not blame her same as I do Thor and Odin. I am angry with her for always siding with Him, but in truth she has been kind to me and…" he sighed.

"It's okay to care about her. It is okay to love a person even if they have wronged you, love does not work like that; which you should be thankful for."

"You are right, of course." He nodded, acknowledging that Harry was referring to himself and that if loved dissolved at one wrong action he would not bother with Loki anymore.

"What I was about to say was that it was uncertain weather the Allfather would wake up again or not. Mother was devastated and she was not fit to take Odin's place as regent and it was up to me to take charge. I had to handle the situation left to me by Thor. There was war on the horizon and I did the only thing I could think of to stop it."

Harry was recognizing that this was hard for Loki to speak of it. He uncrossed his arms and placed a hand on the other man's shoulder, leading him back to the cot and coxing him to sit down. "Continue whenever you're ready," he said gently.

He was still angry with Loki, there was no denying it, but behind all the fury that the trickster held he could see so much confusion and hurt. He decided that he would cut Loki some slack. He wouldn't tolerate anything violent, but he would be more forbearing and he would keep his own temper at bay as best he could.

What he had said was true. He still loved Loki and he had a feeling that he would never be able to stop, which was why he grew scared when he spoke both about waging war on other realms and laying down his life for Harry, if the man he loved did either of those things it would break him.

It was no wonder that he loved Loki either. The man had come to him in a time of his life when he was vulnerable and confused, giving him guidance and compassion which had bloomed into something more. He couldn't regret it. The years that had passed since their meeting had been some of the best in his life and he thought that the same applied for the Asgardian. They had found something profound in each other, understanding, acceptance and later love.

Loki might one day do something which Harry would never be able to forgive, he had said it himself, yet all the same the man would always have his love and that was dangerous. He was in too deep now and all he could do was to hope that he could influence the trickster so that the events that had passed wouldn't end up destroying them both.

"I had helped the Jotuns into Asgard before and I could do it again. It did not take much for them to see that I was the one who left the paths open and as I am sure Laufey knew who I was it was easy to play the part of traitor. If rumours had made their way to their realm, they would know me to be something of an outcast and the leader of the Jotuns did believe himself to be more cunning than most, probably thinking that he could get something out of the child that had disappointed him by being born a weakling. I told Laufey that he would be allowed to the Allfather's side where he could kill the man."

"You wanted him dead?" Harry was startled. That was not the impression he had gotten. Loki had come to resent Odin, he had learned this, but to want him dead? That was on a whole different level. Patricide was not easily overlooked.

"That depends on who him is referring to. I wanted Laufey dead."

"Oh."

Loki chuckled dryly. "What better way to have him executed than to do it myself in defence of my adopted father?"

"And you did it?"

"Yes. That part of the plan went well."

"Patricide?"

Loki scoffed. "I wouldn't go so far as to call it that. Laufey deserves the title even less than Odin does. However I digress, I now had good cause to eradicate Jotunheim."

"What?" Harry startled. "Why would you do that? What possible gain could you draw from it? They are your people!"

"Do not say that I am one of them!" Loki roared. "I am not. I could have been once, but I was brought up an Asgardian and that makes me one."

Harry smiled, making Loki pause. "Oh, clever, Harry, very clever. You wanted me to say that."

"Only to help you see what you already know."

"Hmm. I suppose. Even after all that had happened I still wanted approval. Now more than ever I felt the need to prove myself. To show that I was a worthy son, that I belonged, that letting me be heir to the throne was the right decision to make. When the Allfather woke once more I would be the one who saved him and I would be the one who destroyed our enemies, taking revenge for his would be assassination. But Thor returned, just in time it seemed, ready to stop my plans and I could not allow it. We fought as the Bifrost was set to tear Jotunheim apart and he, fancying himself mature now, having found love, destroyed the bridge to save a race he had only days before been prepared to kill with his own hands."

"People do change, they can learn."

"He had over a thousand years to grow up," Loki sneered.

"Sometimes it isn't time that is needed. It can be something which appears small to others, but fundamentally changes who you are. You say that he found love? Can you honestly say that after meeting me, you haven't changed?"

"No."

"I'm afraid that it has not been for the better. It appears to have given you the motivation, and restrictions weren't ever something you had. I'm not sure what to think any more, Loki."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm beginning to think that this is too much. You have my love, I cannot change that. But I cannot, no, I will not be with you if it will make you do these things. You cannot put us above everyone else. You wanted to prove that you were fit to be king and in the end you seem to have made the same mistakes you accused your brother of. You have been foolish and reckless. You haven't acted like a King, but as the spoilt Prince you actually are."

"How dare you?" Anger was rising in Loki. He didn't tolerate being questioned, least of all by a man who was so many times younger than him, no matter if it was Harry.

"I dare," Harry said, standing tall. "I am not afraid of you and if it comes down to it I will not hesitate to stop you." They both knew that Loki was more or less defenceless at the moment with his magic bound and nearly depleted in any case. Harry may not have his vast experience but were they to fight now it was the wizard who would come out the victor.

"Are you threatening me now, Harry?"

"No. I am giving you a warning." Harry had not forgotten that he had promised himself to be understanding, but Loki needed to know where he stood and if speaking harshly was the only way to make him see then so be it.

"If you want your life to continue, if you want to be all that you can be you have to put this behind you. You have to stop being bitter, and see that the people around you care," Loki curled his lips, not agreeing, "not all of them, that is true," Harry continued unperturbed, "but those that matters. Families fight. That does not mean they don't love each other. If I am to be with you, I have to trust you and for that to happen you will have to make that promise I asked of you before."

"And if I will not do it?"

"Then I will say good bye."

Loki avoided answering by beginning to speak again. "Thor destroyed the Bifrost. There was an explosion. The Allfather arrived just in time to grab Thor's hand. He held one end of my spear and I held the other, dangling over the abyss. I tried to explain what I had intended to do."

"Your father did not approve."

"No, he didn't. With just two words he rejected me and I let go."

"No," Harry gasped in horror. He may be angry with Loki, but the image that appeared in his mind was something he wanted to reject, he did not want to think of Loki falling to his end. He had been shown memories of Asgard and he could imagine the edge of the realm and the black void beyond.

"Yes. In that moment all that mattered was that I had failed to acquire his liking. By all rights I should have been dead. But something else happened. The power of the damaged and falling Bifrost opened a hole in space and time and I fell through it. I ended up lost in the hidden pathways of the universe unable to navigate as I usually can when travelling through them. I was unable to hold on to anything or find direction. I was lost and in time so was my mind. Time sized to matter. It could have been days, eons, minutes or months. I forgot who I was and where I came from. I only knew that I still existed and that I had given my word to you that I would return."

Harry felt distinctly bad now. "Loki, I didn't know."

Loki sighed quietly, showing once more how his mood changed too quickly to be normal. "No and how could you? I don't blame you. I didn't tell you what I was planning, and you were not there to see it happen, and no one knew to inform you. After what I can only deem to be an eternity I arrived at a strange place. It was outside the universe that is known to us, home to creatures that were at the same time so forging, and so alike us. Ending up there might have influenced the emotions that grew strongest within me. That realm was desolate and dead, it was a miracle in on itself that anything could live there, or perhaps curse would be a better word, for ultimately they want to conquer the universe, or so they said in not so many words. I think there was more than that. I think they were preparing to cause the ultimate destruction. It is my belief that they will not stop until they have reached their final goal; the death of all life."

Harry shivered as he imagined the creatures Loki spoke of. He had seen footage of the battle in New York and their home world was sure to reflect their physical appearance. But it was not what they looked like that unsettled him as much as the goals Loki said that they strived for. "Who are they?" he asked a slight tremor in his voice.

"The one who leads them is one of the ancient beings of the world, Thanos is his name. The reason they wanted to attack Earth was to attain the Tesseract. I realize now that it must be kept from them at all costs, otherwise we are all domed."

"So you are not on the side of chaos after all?"

"Hmph. Chaos certainly, absolute death, not as much. I enjoy trickery, and I am not averse to killing, that however does not mean that I want the entire universe to be void of life."

"Good, I guess."

Loki smirked at Harry's uncertain tone. "I have seen the error of the decision I made when I chose to alley myself with them. I only did it because it would give me something I wanted and it was the only way for me to attain it, just as they only tolerated me for the same reason. No more. I let them down and I will be the first person to meet my end if they have their saying."

"Are you saying that you will give me your word to not put yourself or me above all else?"

"I-" Loki closed his eyes. He didn't want to, but he didn't want Harry to give up on him either.

"You can overcome what happened. We can move on, together. We can both try to do what is best for this world and with us on the side of those who are trying to protect, the odds of success will rise, if only a tiny bit." Harry placed his hand back on Loki's shoulder. "Please," he whispered.

Loki opened his eyes, and stared into the wizard's emerald coloured eyes. "Is that what you desire?"

"It is."

He shook his head. "It it is madness."

"Then by all means, let us be mad."

Loki smiled. "Then you have my word. I love you, Harry."

"I love you too." Harry moved his hand up, placing it on Loki's cheek, feeling the stubble that had begun to grow and tracing a faint scar that hadn't been there one year ago. He leaned in closer, brining their lips together in a kiss that started out gentle.

They were together now, and as Loki had given his word, come hell or high water, nothing would be able to tear them apart.

Loki could feel himself relaxing. The familiarity of Harry's lips moving against his own made all his doubts ebb away. As Harry opened his mouth and he was met with the first stroke of a probing tongue he knew that he could have done nothing else but to give his word. Anything Harry asked he would have.

He brought up his own hands, placing one on the wizard's waist and the other in his hair, drawing him closer and intensifying the kiss. As long as he could get to do this again, he would put up with any idiocy the world could throw at them.

"What the hell!"

Though he would prefer the world would wait a bit longer.

AN 27th July 2013:

Part 4. The first three parts got titles beginning with The R...

I hadn't planned it, but since it worked out that way I'll use it for all parts. I'm not sure about this chapter. It felt a bit dragging. A lot of dialogue and talking back and forth, but I felt that it was needed for Harry and Loki to reconcile. They need a united front for what is to come and that couldn't happen unless they talked things through and once I got started there was no stopping it.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought.

Until next part!