That Awkward Moment from The3leonine:

One week, I was staying at my grandmother's house, and I was talking to my friend. Just as my grandmother was walking by, I tell my friend, "Man, I wish I had Innocence."

Then, my grandmother gave me a horrified look like she wanted to drag me to the nearest church and scrub me down with Holy Water. The End.

Thank you, The3leonine!

Situation

Chapter 43: The Black Flower

So it was Wednesday, and I was anxiously awaiting Kanda's return because even though it wasn't bigger than a two centimeter difference, I had a baby bump! Now for the bad news, I had to go see Komui and get questioned as if something was wrong. Well, I guess for all I knew something was wrong, but it didn't feel different or anything other than my back hurting if I stand up too long.

"Komui, I'm here," I say happily, even if I was annoyed, as I open the door into the room the ultrasounds were performed in.

"Took you long enough, idiot pupil."

No. No! Why was that jerk here?! Said redheaded, womanizing alcoholic was sitting beside the bed, looking through papers on a clipboard, and I complain, "Why are you here, Master?"

"Just sit down and shut up," he grumbled. Using very colorful language, I sit down on the bed, waiting for the explanation that would never come, and Cross begins in a bored voice, "Have you had any cramps, morning sickness, or stomach-related issues?"

Shaking my head, I say, "No, but I want to know why you're here instead of Komui."

"Have you noticed any side-effects from the pills?" he asks, completely ignoring me. Cussing under my breath, I reply, "I get chills every other day at least, but other than that, nothing. Wait, nightmares aren't side-effects, right?"

Rolling his eyes, the General says, "No, moron. I thought you were smarter than that. Though, I guess if you were dumb enough to not use protection then I shou―"

"Would you just shut up?! I bet you've gotten several girls pregnant and you don't care, because you never cared for any of them!" I yell, fed up with his crap for the last time. Before, I could deal, but this was different. "Unlike you, I actually love someone, and I'm happy to be having a baby with him, so don't go insulting Kanda, me, or my daughter!"

Cross looks taken aback for a moment, but he quickly recovers and growls, "Watch it, apprentice. Have you had any abnormal drowsiness?"

Clenching my fists at my sides, I answer, "No."

With that, he starts writing something, but I didn't really care. Anger was still blazing in my chest, and it took years of practice to keep it down as I kept replaying his protection jab in my mind. The only thing that finally stopped the words in my head was Lavi's demand. Cross may not want you to know, but the next time you see him, tell him. Tell him you were a cutter.

Why should I reveal that to him? Why should I subject myself to his humiliation and verbal abuse? But then again, Kanda said he'd listen to advice Lavi gave him if he was serious. Telling myself that it was the right choice, I ask, "Master?"

"What? I'm trying to think, so whatever it is, make it quick," he says irritably, not glancing up from the clipboard.

"Can you keep a secret for me?" I ask, looking at my hands. Cursing in annoyance, he huffs, "Just spit it out, idiot apprentice."

"Promise you won't tell!"

Rolling his eyes, he growls, "Fine, whatever, I won't tell, now spill whatever it is or shut up."

Wincing at the harshness of his voice, I silently pray that he won't yell at me. I mean, if he thinks I'm disgusting, then Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda are all on missions, and I don't want to disturb Fou since she's been training nearly nonstop lately. Taking a breath, I say, "Lavi said that I should tell you that I…um…that I…."

"Would you say whatever the heck you want to say!?" he shouts, still writing something down.

"I was a cutter!" I blurt, not wanting to annoy him further, and I think that annoyance was at the other end of Cross's spectrum. A small clatter reverberated around the room as the pen fell from Master's hand as he looked at me, wide-eyed, and asked, "What?"

Not really understanding his reaction, I repeat quieter, "I used to cut."

His head was lowered so I couldn't see his face, but I could clearly see his knuckles turning white as he gripped the clipboard until it too fell to the floor as he stood.

Crack!

"Master!" I worriedly say as he removes his hand from the hole in the white wall, his fist still clenched as he asks in a low voice, "When did you start?"

"Not long after I got here, maybe two weeks," I reply, debating if I should go try to comfort him.

"Lavi wanted me to tell you about her," he said to the wall before walking out the door, and I quickly follow. Before I know where we were going, I was sitting on his bed in his room while he paced in front of the balcony door. The set up of the room was identical to mine, save for there being a king size bed instead of two full beds in bunk bed format, and it was neatly kept, looking almost unused. As Cross paced, I ask, "Master, who are you talking about?"

Stopping, he watches out the glass, "My girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" I asked. "I never knew you had one."

"Other than Tiedoll and Bookman, no one else knew her, and Lavi only knows because of being Bookman Junior," he says, not looking away from the glass. Confused, I dare to ask, "I'm sorry, but knew?"

"She's dead. She's been dead for twenty-three years."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realize," I apologize, looking down.

He shakes his head, "It's fine. I think Lavi wanted me to open up to someone with the whole thing and the questions."

"Well, I'll listen if you want me to," I say, not really understanding why it was such a big deal. I mean, yeah, it was probably traumatic for him, but what does he mean by questions? Why did Lavi want me to help him?

Cross nods and begins, "I was sixteen, just became an exorcist, and when I came back from a mission, there was the most beautiful girl I ever saw in the training room. She had waist-length black hair that she kept in a French braid, her bangs half-covering her eyes, and she had the Inu Innocence, which is like the Neko Innocence only it's a dog. Wolf ears were on top of her head and the fluffiest, most luscious tail I'd ever seen came out the bottom of her skirt. But the prettiest thing was her eyes. I swear they could nearly glow in the dark and were an almost unnaturally vibrant green.

"Believe it or not, at that time, I didn't know anything about girls other than they had different parts and went on a killing spree once a month, so I had Tiedoll talk to her for me to see what kind of things she liked. First thing I learned was that her name, Kurohana, meant 'black flower' in Japanese, but after that, she kept telling Tiedoll the same thing every time he asked her something.

"'A flower can be the most beautiful thing on the outside, but on the inside, it could be bruised and broken. Would you give your friend a broken flower?' she would say. After about a week of that, I asked her directly if she would go on a hike with me since I figured that it would be something she liked with her name and Innocence. Kurohana accepted, and it was probably the best day of my life, but at the time, it didn't occur to me that it was abnormal for her to wear a long-sleeved athletic shirt in June.

"She never liked to talk about herself, and anytime I asked something, she would flip it around on me, so in two months, all I knew about her was her name and that she was an artist, but she never let anyone see her sketchbook. At the end of the third month, we were making out in my room when she just burst out crying. She didn't tell me what it was at the moment, but after about an hour, she asked if I wanted to know about her past, and of course, I said yes.

"Before she had become an exorcist, she was in a horrible home situation, and didn't have any friends because of her ears and tail. At school, she was constantly bullied, and people would pull her tail and slam locker doors on it. The teachers wouldn't do anything, and she even asked to see the guidance counselor, but they always said she was out.

"Being home was worse. Her mother was always high on every drug there was, and her father was abusive to Kurohana and her younger brother, Shion. He would always hit them over tiny things like the dishes not being absolutely spotless or there being a smudge on the window. It didn't take long for things to go too far, and her father strangled Shion to death while he was drunk. For some reason, her mother decided to care at this point, and committed suicide. After that, Kurohana's father began…using her as a…substitute for her mother."

It takes all the strength in me to shut off my gag reflex as I think about this poor girl being raped by her own father. A visible shudder runs through Cross as rain begins falling outside, the drops splashing on the concrete on his balcony, and he continues, "A supporter of the Order was working as the new art teacher at her school, and she called in an exorcist to take Kurohana to the Order.

"After Kurohana told me that, she said that she was ready to go all the way with me on the condition that she got to keep her shirt on."

"No, no, she wasn't…" I whisper in horror, understanding now why Master had had such an odd reaction when I told him I used to be a cutter.

"I was such an idiot," he said. "I didn't even think about it.

"Two months after that, she allowed me to come into her room, and I remember thinking how depressing it was. The only thing there was was a bed and dresser, nothing else.

"Kurohana gave me the spare key to the room, and a few days later, I thought she had gone on a mission, and I went to get my belt that I had accidently left. When I walked in, I heard her crying in the bathroom and I ran in to find her in the floor shirtless, three bleeding cuts on her arm and a bloody pocket knife in her other hand.

"Long story short, I thought that it was disgusting and repulsive, and I left, didn't come back. It was less than a week before she went missing and no one could find her, and Tiedoll was freaking out, asking me questions about why I didn't know. When I told him, he back-handed me.

"I was about to tell him off when he started yelling at me that if she was doing that, she was more than likely suicidal, and that I needed find her before something happened. I ran everywhere looking for her until I found her in a field in front of the Order next to an empty bottle of pills. She told me that she loved me and that I was the only one that ever treated her right. Before she died, she said that she kept diaries under her bed."

His face was reflected in the glass of the door, and I could see the tears streaming down his face. Not knowing what else to do, I stand from the bed and embrace him, my face in his chest because he was so much taller than me. After a moment, he got enough voice to whisper, "I know that I don't act it, but I care about you a lot, Allen. You know that, right?"

Nodding, I reply in a slightly muffled voice, "I know you do."

Taking a breath, he continues, "It was after she died that I started drinking and gambling. I never wanted to get attached to one person ever again, and I was so afraid that if I did, they would end up hurt like Kurohana did."

"That wasn't your fault, Master!" I say, sitting on the bed next to him. "Kurohana did what she felt was right. What she went through was a heck of a lot more traumatic than anything I did, and she was strong through it."

"Until I found out and left," Cross muttered, glaring at his hands. Shaking my head, I try to convince him, "Look, every cutter expects to be pushed away, and most are. I landed in an extremely good position with Kanda, and if it wasn't for him and my bad ability of counting out how many pills I needed to take, I'd be dead. Cutting isn't something that hurts your flesh. It scars your soul, and without someone there, you don't want to stop. You want the numbness in my case or in other's you want to feel alive for once in your life."

Glancing over at me, he said, "I think that's why Lavi wanted me to tell you. No one ever really thinks about it, and it's normal to shun anyone who's different, but I never thought someone like you would do that."

"That makes four people now," I say.

It took a while, but I eventually I did convince Master that it wasn't his fault that Kurohana was gone. Personally, I never would have thought that Cross had gone through something like that, and it makes me feel like he trusts me now.

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

After I eat dinner, I walk back towards my room. It's not as fun around the Order when all my friends are on a mission, but I've been trying to get plenty of sleep lately so that Something Mana Walker would be healthy. Plus, most extra time I have involves reading baby books and trying to figure out what her name would be. I mean, we can't call the baby Something for the rest of her life, can we? Well, technically we could, but that would be kind of creepy.

"Hey, Allen!"

Turning to see who was calling my name, I was suddenly against the wall, staring up at tousled blond hair and honey colored eyes. Slightly frightened, I stammer, "S-sekushi! Um, what are you doing here?"

"I'm a finder. I live here, remember?" he says, restraining my hands above my head. Trying to get free, I tell him, "Let me go."

Ignoring me, he asks, "So why don't we go back to my room? I hear that that samurai of yours is on a mission, and I bet I can give you a better time in bed than he can."

"No, now let go! I'm serious!" I yell, thrashing around to escape, but Sekushi keeps his hold on me. Leaning down, he crushes his lips against mine, and I can taste the prominent flavor of alcohol, beer to be exact. Determined to get away, I let his tongue enter my mouth and bite it as hard as I can, the metallic taste of blood flooding my taste buds.

When he jumps back, I bolt towards my room, not stopping until the door was locked behind me. Ugh, that was disgusting! Walking into the bathroom, I brush my teeth at least four times before settling down in the bed, thinking about Kanda.

He didn't need to know about it. Sekushi was drunk, and it wasn't like I cheated on him. Besides, if I did tell him, Sekushi's blood would paint the halls of the Order for weeks if not longer after Kanda skewered him.

Right, I'll just keep this under the rug.

Author Note: So I'm not really sure when the next update will be up, but I hope you liked the chapter, and please, Please, PLEASE R/R!